The Pearl
by asiancherries
Summary: How much does forever cost? Sesshomaru must weigh the price that Rin must pay for his selfish needs. Rin must find her place in an everexpanding demon empire, without losing her humanity. Both must come to terms with death, life, and jewelry. post series
1. Chapter 1

_The Pearl_

Disclaimer: This is the best I can do, Takahashi.

Chapter One

_A tiny blade will sever the sutures of the neck, and when that joint, which binds together head and neck, is cut, the body's mighty mass crumples in a heap. No deep retreat conceals the soul, you need no knife at all to root it out, no deeply driven sound to find the vital parts; death lies near at hand…whether the throat is strangled by a knot, or water stops the breathing, or the hard ground crushes in the skull of one falling head long to its surface, or flame inhaled cuts off the course of respiration—be what it may; the end is swift._--Seneca

_You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style._ --Vladimir Nabokov, _Lolita_

888888

The Prince of the East was troubled.

Rumors had been spreading like wildfire amongst the demon lands. High ranking officials within the courts of the South had been assassinated, en masse. While the carnage never actually reached the steps of the Lord's house, he was certain that there was little reason to leave him unscathed. An alliance had been forged with the Western Lord, and in exchange for a substantial parcel of land, the South had been granted protection and aid against the rogue bandit wreaking havoc amongst the noble houses. The finest soldiers were set out, scouring the land village by village, until they returned to the Southern Lord and presented him with the head of the assassin. Eternally grateful and indebted to the Western Lands, the Southern Lord rewarded his new benefactor handsomely. Peace returned to the minds of the nobles, and the alliance was bound in stone, held forfeit only upon the death of the Lord of the West.

But now, strange happenings were afoot in the East. The general in command of the great Eastern army had been found decapitated in his bath not but a month ago. And only last week had the chief advisor and his wife been riding through the countryside, returning from the Eastern Palace, to both be discovered dead from poisonous arrows through their necks and chests.

He had asked his father for advice. The Eastern Lord was not known for his wisdom and foresight, but as the heir to the throne, Setsuna was desperate. After much begging, he had been granted extra guards to occupy his shiro, and protect him against any emerging threat that might be creeping through the land once more. This had granted him a modicum of relief, until he received word from the South just this morning.

The messenger claimed that the supposed head of the assassin was false, and that the Western Lord had tricked the South with it. Those few who had been witness to the attacker claimed that it had not been a demon, but a _human_. As preposterous as it sounded, the witnesses insisted that no youki or any kind of demonic aura was present excepting for the demons who had been killed. Setsuna inclined himself to quietly doubting this accusation; after all, what _human_ alive could venture undetected into the homes of the wealthiest and most powerful demons in the land, then kill them and escape completely free from capture? Still, the prince was quick to agree that the assassin remained at large, and that the head had merely been a ruse to pacify the distressed Southern Lord. Something was to be said against the Western Lord, for sure. He was quite…different from the other nobility in all of the lands. Those who claimed to trust him did so mostly out of fear.

After supper, the Southern messenger had quietly proposed a treaty on behalf of his Lord master. The suggestion was that the two lands quietly join forces in searching out and exterminating this pest amidst their nobility, then confront the Western Lands as a unified front, demanding land from _him_ in exchange for their _protection_.

It was something Setsuna needed to mull over. Firstly, he was not exactly the party to be discussing matters such as this with; alliances and trade agreements were still under the realm of his father, the acting Lord of the East. As an heir, Setsuna was afforded little responsibility and almost no involvement in the political affairs of his land. However, he knew that the Eastern Lands had always been at odds with the West, long before the rise of the current Inu no Taishio. If the plan succeeded, then _he_ would have succeeded where his father had failed for centuries. It would undoubtedly prove his strength and value as a leader, and perhaps he would be granted governorship of a small province as a reward. But if the plan failed…

Jumping into war was not Setsuna's cup of tea. The demon was tall and slender, and not exactly built for fighting. He admittedly was not well schooled in military tactics, and had only found himself on the battle field twice in his life, and both times were to merely observe. Wearing armor had always felt constricting to the young moth demon; he much preferred to have his wings unfettered than to be folded and squished inside a metal envelope. The weight of this decision burdened him now, and he had become too dispassionate for flight. Instead, he walked the outer wall that guarded the mansion from attack. Impatiently, he rested his chin in his hand as he leaned an elbow against the lip of the wall. His black eyes clouded over with thought, while his fair blue hair grew gradually more and more unruly in the wind. Looking out on the horizon as it rapidly darkened, the young prince Setsuna was soon absorbed within the walls of his own mind.

Until he heard a small, feminine voice.

"Please," she begged, "I seek an audience with your lord, so that I might beg shelter from him on this night."

Setsuna craned his torso down to see the owner of the melodic voice. The mere sound of it had jarred him completely out of…whatever it was that he had been thinking, and now had him practically falling over the wall, trying to hear more from the lovely throat.

She was riding a horse, and a fine one at that; a little black Persian, if he wasn't mistaken, and it was outfitted with some of the most elaborate tack he'd ever seen. Silver plating glistened across the bridle and saddle, and delicate white silk fringe hung underneath the forelock, shielding the dark eyes of the animal. As for the lady, Setsuna couldn't quite make out what she looked like, on account that she was practically swimming in one layer of silk after another. Her fine layered brocade robes screamed nobility and affluence, and their number alluded that the family was not shy about flaunting their good fortune. Her face was hidden from view by a white paper parasol, painted with the picture of a butterfly.

"Jiro!" Setsuna called down to his head guard. "Report to me what this is about!"

The flustered guard startled at the sound of his lord's voice, then searched about in confusion to find just where the voice was coming from. Standing directly beneath the prince, the guard tilted his head back and saluted. "My lord! This hime requests an audience with you in regards to---"

"This Setsuna has heard what the lady is here for," the prince snapped.

The guard flopped his mouth open and closed like a fish, not sure quite what to do with this information.

The demon heir snorted in disgust. "Well!" he demanded. "Why haven't you escorted the lady inside as she has requested!"

Jiro jumped at his lord's harsh tone, and nearly tumbled backwards in scrambling back to his post. Clumsily, he managed to open the gate through the wall, and took the reins to lead the horse within.

It was at that moment that the hime moved her parasol and gazed up at the prince. Setsuna felt like he had been punched in the chest, and had all the air knocked out of him; the lady was truly stunning. Her lips were painted a deep red, and nothing more rested upon her pale, flawless skin. The heart-shaped face was crowned with elaborately styled chestnut hair, folded and pinned on top of itself many times. Two wide, almond shaped brown eyes sparkled as they returned eye contact with their admirer, and the red lips gently curved into a smile, before she disappeared from view.

It was all Setsuna could do to keep from tripping over himself as he turned and took to the air in haste to greet the lady with proper respect and décor. He had not missed the signs; the colors she wore were from a high house in the East. Perhaps, some Eastern noble was earnestly seeking the aide of the young prince against the threat of the assassin. After all, if he had in fact sent this beautiful lady to plead his cause, he must have known it to be nearly impossible to refuse a voice as beautiful as hers. Setsuna would have to be on his guard then, but that did not mean he would spoil his chances at enjoying such fine company.

Hastily descending into the inner courtyard, Setsuna immediately began barking orders to have food prepared and a change of clothes made ready for himself. He would receive his visitor in the grand hall, and there entertain her wishes.

Smiling broadly to himself, Setsuna decided that facing off the West was a small price to pay to become a governor over his people.

888888

The lady was being coy.

Her face, which Setsuna had been taken by when he first glimpsed upon it, was carefully shielded behind a paper fan. This accessory also bore a similar appearance to her parasol, only now the picture was smaller, and there were two butterflies, one left and one right.

He was nearly going mad trying to figure out who she was. He knew he'd seen her before—eyes as striking as hers were not easily brushed aside. Even now, they haunted him whenever she blinked. She seemed to be well aware of this power, for she closed her eyes very slowly and deliberately before opening them again.

"What brings you to my doorstep, unescorted, on this night fair hime?" the prince asked, trying to sound as charming as possible.

The lady moved her fan, but quickly covered her face with the floor as she bowed low. "Dono-sama," she chimed, "I beg forgiveness for my most improper appearance. My escort was attacked, and it is by great fortune that I am made it safely here."

Sestsuna returned a short, functionary bow, hoping it would raise the beautiful face he knew she was deliberately hiding from him. It worked, but just as she fully rose the fan went right back into place, shielding her from his eager gaze. The prince snorted in aggravation.

"This one would humbly ask shelter of you, my lord," the hime continued, "and, in return, I can promise a handsome reward from my father, who will be most grateful to learn of my good health under your protection." Her voice seemed to falter in her final words, and her eyes became glassy as they frantically darted back and forth.

Something was not right.

The prince stood, unfurling his wings in full and crossing his arms over his chest. He _meant_ to look noble, and intimidating, instead of callow, and uncertain. Who _was_ this creature? She wasn't a demon, or at least, she wasn't a demon he was familiar with. She most certainly was not a human; no mortal scent of life swiftly moving towards death dared to stain her fine fragrance. But…she was still suspect.

"This Setsuna would be most pleased to help you," he answered, guardedly. "But only on the condition that you tell me the truth."

At this, the hime let out a gentle gasp. Her eyes widened, and her hand trembled. _She's going to drop the fan_, Setsuna realized gleefully. And not a moment later, did she hurl the small object aside. However, this action was only mean to give her full means to prostrate herself before the young lord, in a low, humble bow. Setsuna ground his teeth.

"My lord!" the lady sobbed. "I can only ask that you consider granting my father forgiveness in this one's part! He only wanted to protect me!"

"Protect you?" Setsuna grunted, lowering his wings. "What do you mean by that?"

The lady shuddered, trying to calm her gentle tears. _Gods_, the demon thought, _even her wails of sorrow sound like music_. "The assassin, dono-sama," the girl finally managed. "My father received a threat that I was to be the next target."

The prince felt his youki flare with his rage. Now this villain was openly threatening the nobles of _his_ land? Was there no end to this treachery? Silently, Setsuna resigned himself to signing the treaty with the South the next morning. After, of course, he had received an adequate amount of information in regards to the assassin from this damsel in distress.

The demon prince knelt in front of the groveling lady. "Do not fear," he boldly reassured her, "you will be protected by me this night." He smiled, proud of himself for sounding so brave and strong. This had got to be winning him some points.

Slowly, the hime uncurled herself into a sitting position. With no fan, she was fully uncovered to his gaze. Her eyes were slightly heavier, and her cheeks flushed from her crying, but she was still the perfect beauty he had seen outside of his palace walls. And now, curling onto those full red lips, was the same gentle smile she had given him before she was escorted inside.

"I give you my greatest thanks, my lord," she chortled, "and my father, your humble servant and vassal Oki-sama, offers the same as well."

_Oki…Oki…why does he sound familiar?_ the prince muddled. _Ah, yes. Water demon. Far, far east, keeps mostly to himself, but always pays his taxes. Didn't know he had any kids though_, Setsuna thought, scratching his chin. He looked to the young lady, smiling at him with all the adoration and devotion of a proper subject. _I must remember to visit him when I am governor_, the demon mused. Letting his eyes fall downward to take in more of the beautiful woman's features, he was immediately attracted to the bauble bound tightly to the girl's neck. It was a snow white pearl, roughly the size of a sparrow's egg, held flush against her throat by a white silken cord. _Water demon definitely_, he concluded, noting the strange aura the pearl gave off. Moving on further, he noticed several of the layers she had been wearing before had been shed, though she still wore three robes over her fine kimono. The outermost layer was a light sea foam green, and with each progressing layer the shade grew darker, ending with the deep emerald of her kimono, belted with a white obi. The color complimented her features splendidly, bringing out the deep brown vibrancy of her hair and eyes. Eyes that Setsuna once again found himself entranced by.

"My lord?" the hime questioned, breaking the long silence that the prince just realized he had caused.

"What, may I ask," he stammered, "is your name?" _There, nice save_, he congratulated himself.

"This one is called Naoko," the lady replied, bowing forward slightly, then lifting her head once more. "I must again thank you for your hospitality, my lord---"

"Setsuna," the prince interrupted, "my name is Setsuna."

"Setsuna-sama," Naoko pronounced. "Thank you, Setsuna-sama."

He was almost giddy with excitement. This whole situation was looking to bring about good fortune in his life. He would dazzle the lady with his holdings tonight, then tomorrow as she was safely escorted back to her home, under heavy guard of course, he would sign the treaty and capture the assassin that was plaguing his lands. They would then corner the Western Lord with this new evidence, and force him to surrender much of his lands to the East and the South. Naturally, with the new land, his father would need help bringing it under his command; that would be where Setsuna would step in and graciously accept his father's praise and gift of the new territory. With his new found power, he would return to old Oki's house, court the girl, wed her, and live happily ever after with a new title, a trophy bride, and 2 or 3 kids. _And quite handsome ones at that_, he gleefully imagined.

The hime touched his hand with her finger tips, and Setsuna realized that he had once again left her hanging in a long moment of silence. He really needed to keep a firm hold on the moment. After all, he had to impress her before he could do all the other things he had planned. Standing, he unfurled his wings fully and held out his broad hand to the lady, who placed her small, slender one on his palm in return. With that, she rose to her feet as well, and stood beside him without removing her hand from his.

"Come," the prince swelled with pride, "and this Setsuna will show you to your room. Then, might I ask you to join me for some tea and a light meal?"

The hime smiled and nodded graciously. "That would be nice," she softly answered, batting her thick lashes.

_Maybe 5 kids_, Setsuna amended, leading the lady on a tour of his palace.

888

By the time the young prince settled himself into bed that night, he had lost count of how many children he wanted to make, or at least attempt to make, with the enchanting hime. It was all he could do to tear himself away from her side as they parted for the night. She was _everything_ a lady of fine breeding was supposed to be: beautiful, soft-spoken, lovely, graceful, poised, obedient, elegant, _rich_, beautiful…and he had every reason on his side to claim her as his wife. True, her youki was depressingly weak, but she made up for that in everything else, like being so damn beautiful. Right now, at this very moment, Setsuna was not above leaving and banging down the door of Oki, slaying the assassin, and demanding Naoko's hand in payment.

"Naoko," he whispered. _The obedient child._

He'd made a clever joke about that when he showed her to her room before departing for the night.

"As much as it pains me, Naoko-sama," he'd said, "I must ask you to retire to your quarters so that I may alert the guards to stand watch."

"As you wish, my lord," she replied, smiling cutely, almost like she was puckering her lips.

Setsuna felt his heart try to beat its way out from behind his ribs. A bit of nervous laughter solved that. "Your father named you well," he tittered, ruffling his blue hair to keep himself from touching her lovely face. "Tell me, must you obey everything you're told to do?"

The hime blushed and playfully batted her eyes as she looked down and to the side. "Only if my lord wishes it so," she murmured softly.

If the guards hadn't come around the corner at that precise second, they would have stumbled upon their lord passionately ravishing the lady in a soul searing kiss. Or at least, he'd imagined.

Now, he was alone in the dark, and slightly agitated that the gentle fragrance of his lovely guest would not seem to leave his nose. It was going to be a painfully long night. Perhaps, he could simply keep himself occupied by devising plans to keep the lady at his palace for a spell longer. Kill her horse, then tell her it ran away and they have no other horses? No, she'd seen the stable for sure. Make up a story about receiving urgent news from her father, begging her to stay a few nights longer, and maybe pick up a fine youkai husband while she was out? Nah, too desperate sounding. Throw caution to the wind and propose to her at dawn? While that was indeed the scariest of all the options, it had a distinct advantage: it was romantic, and women loved romantic shit. That one might work after all.

A floorboard creaked and Setsuna bolted upright, fangs bared and claws at the ready. "Who's there!" he demanded angrily.

He was greeted by silence initially, and he thought that perhaps he'd only imagined the noise and was just entirely on edge from the day. But there was that unmistakable twinge he felt in the base of his neck, signifying the presence of another's aura. Narrowing his eyes and searching the dark, he was startled when his intruder suddenly spoke.

"My lord?" Naoko whispered.

Setsuna nearly cheered. Yes, it was incredibly improper for a lady of fine breeding to come knocking on the doors of a male at all hours of the night, undoubtedly seeking his attentions. But he could forgive her of her mistake in the morning.

"What is it?" he softly called out. "What's wrong?"

"I…I felt…scared," she stammered, voice moving closer to where he was laying.

Setsuna smirked. Before he signed the treaty tomorrow, he would get up extra early and offer a prayer of thanks at his ancestor's shrine. "I told you I will protect you," he replied in a voice smooth as silk.

"But you were not there," the girl insisted in a slightly distressed tone. She was kneeling beside his mattress now, and he could see her hands on the floor within the slit of light that fell from his door.

He had to play this carefully. He couldn't be sure if she was being sincere, or speaking in code. Either she was really scared, or really eager to jump in the sack with him, in which case, he still had a chance for the second if it was the first.

"Would you feel safer," he cooed, "if you were here, in my arms instead?"

"Oh yes!" the hime sighed, and Setsuna's heart chimed with the breeze from her lips.

The demon casually scooted to the side, leaving adequate room for the hime on his futon so that she wouldn't feel smothered by him—immediately, anyway. She gracefully unfolded her body in and under the covers next to his, before shyly wiggling closer and placing her little hand on his bare chest.

"Better?" Setsuna squeaked.

"Oh yes," the girl sighed again. "Oh, much better. Yes."

Tentatively, the demon curled his arm down her spine, stopping his fingers at the small of her back for modesty's sake. She responded by snuggling closer, and moving her hand from his chest to his cheek. He immediately did the same, though a little overzealously, and he quickly amended himself by petting her cheek.

"Oh, thank you, Setsuna-sama," the lady murmured. "I'm sure my father would be willing to give you anything you wish in reward for my safe-keeping."

"Anything?" the demon yelped. Why had his voice suddenly decided to break? He'd been through puberty almost 75 years ago.

The girl nodded against his shoulder, and he could see her gleaming eyes staring up at him. That was his cue; he was getting some tonight!

"Naoko-chan," he whispered, before pulling her into a kiss.

She smiled, and then stabbed him.

_Stabbed him!_

"What the _fuck!_" the demon bellowed. He was instantly greeted with a small foot to his jaw, knocking him for a loop.

"Don't call me 'chan'," gritted the girl, swinging down her once invisible blade. Setsuna managed to roll out of the way, but not without getting a slice across the chest and one of his wings split in return.

Gods how could he have been so blind! Of all the dirty tricks! So this was how the assassin made _her_ way across Japan—by seducing all of the lords and nobles in her path! And the Southern Lord had been right in insisting she wasn't a demon, because this girl clearly _was not_ a demon. But she wasn't clearly a human either. She wasn't clearly anything, except a killer, and coming his way again.

Setsuna opened his mouth and spat out enough poison to make his own father tear up. Unfortunately, clutching the wounds on his chest made him forget to spread his natural defense in all directions; a slice across the back quickly brought him to his senses.

"You _bitch_!" he howled. Why weren't the guards outside his door coming to his aid?

A swift kick to the shoulder that had been stabbed had him hurtling backwards through the wall and into the hallway. On the floor, with blood pooling from their slit throats, lay the answers to his question. _Shit, _he wailed to himself, _I'm gonna die, aren't I?_ Abandoning any hope for defense, the prince turned and ran for help.

The girl was quickly on him, apparently not too keen on this running away idea. Setsuna's cry was almost high enough to be out of the girl's range of hearing, but she could detect a shrill squeal from the moth demon as she sliced his wings into confetti. He fell to the floor, still clutching his chest.

"Who are you?" he coughed, searching frantically for his attacker. "Why are you doing this?"

"Why am I doing this?" she mocked, standing before him. She was wearing a skin-tight black outfit, similar to what a taijiya would wear, but without the additional armor. Her face and hair were tucked into a black cloth mask that had a slit opening for her eyes. Her still beautiful eyes that still haunted him, even now as he knew she was going to kill him. Setsuna sobbed.

"Just doin' my job," she grunted, swinging the blade and slicing his head cleanly off.

The heir to the throne of the Eastern Lands was dead. Mission almost accomplished.

She knew that there had been a heightened amount of security in the palace before she even came. To think that she could get away without alerting a few guards would be ridiculous. But _this_…this mess was entirely different. They had surrounded her before the decapitated body of their lord hit the floor. But not before she was in the air, kicking through the wall and back into the bedroom.

_Thank the gods that rice paper walls are fashionable_, she silently praised. A few more hops and she was out the window. A few more hops and she was right back to being surrounded with guards. This was getting to be annoying.

There is a predictability to fighting soldiers that made her heart leap with joy. If she attacked one, the others would kindly wait until he fell, before scooting one over and taking their comrade's place. And while she didn't have time to kill every single one of them in alphabetical order, she did thankfully only have to kill seven before a wide enough opening in the crowd appeared, and she could escape. Not having to watch your back was something she was happy to take for granted.

Until the arrows started flying.

"Shit!" she shrieked, kicking up her run. Getting shot was not something she had factored into the plan. Step one: kill the prince, had already been carried out splendidly. Step two: grab the horse, was now underway. Yanking down the cloth from over her mouth, she stuck two fingers under her tongue and gave a shrill whistle. From the stables just ahead, she could hear her beloved gelding raising a fuss. Banging noises signified he was kicking the place apart. He'd be out of there in no time. That meant it was time for step three:

Blow the place to hell.

All along their little tour, she had been able to walk closely to the walls, laying a thin fuse that led out to the courtyard. From there, the fuse would lead to the mother-load of explosives she'd managed to smuggle in, pinned inside of her layered robes. As uncomfortable as the fashion may be, it was not without its own practicality. Now, to light the fuse, and release bedlam. Crouching low, the girl scurried to the wall, quickly finding the end of the fuse she'd laid. Fumbling fingers produced flint from her shoe, and she hastily struck the two stones against one another.

A battle cry to her back alerted her to the approach of more guards. She sighed, and half-heartedly laughed in her aggravation. Why did they have to announce themselves so loudly? They'd really have a better shot at killing more people if they were just quiet about it. But that wasn't a tip she was about to pass on. Whipping around, she dropped the flint and sliced out her blade to greet her first attacker. He crumpled to the side, leaving her with three more.

The second one had a spear, and apparently was well seasoned in using it. She only managed to turn her head in time, but he had ripped off her mask with the well aimed spearhead. That was a little too close for comfort, she decided, and slashed him in half at the torso while his back was still to her. It was a dirty tactic, and he had deserved a better death, but she really didn't have time to dispense these warriors with honor. There was a deadline. And where was that horse?

Guards three and four held swords, just like guards one through seventy bagillion. They were coming at her together, a clear sign that they were rookies, and fresh from the training field. While attacking one by one was monotonous, it at least carried the threat against the foe that yet one more would take the place of those already fallen. With those kind of odds, the enemy stood to be exhausted long before the soldiers. But these two were afraid, and found courage in each other. She thought it rather fitting then that they would die together. And at each others' hands.

Flipping neatly out of the way, she circled and managed to break them apart and stand in-between them. With a threatening flick of her sword, they were charging at her, and she rolled away in a childish somersault while they impaled themselves together. The bonds of brotherhood were hard to sever, she supposed. Too bad she didn't have a brother.

Back to the big boom. And the horse. Where was the goddamn horse?

"Kado!" she screamed. "Stop horsin' around and get over here!" Only when she bent back over to work the flint again did she realize her pun. Snickering at her own joke, she finally managed to get a spark large enough to light the fuse. And as if right on cue, Kado the horse galloped out of the stable, over the porch, and into the courtyard. Thankfully, the clods this prince called stable-hands had listened to her when she ever so sweetly requested that the bridle remain on the horse. Kado could be quite an ass without it.

Hey, another horse joke.

There was little time to laugh, as another throat ripping cry heralded more guards. She'd have to stay and fight, at least until the fuse got well on its way. Considering she got paid nothing to do this, imagining herself demanding a raise when she got home was kind of silly. She'd just have to yell a lot. That would teach them.

Unfortunately, these guards were not being very sportsman like. They weren't attacking her at all; they were targeting Kado. That would throw her plan completely to the gutter if the horse were to get injured or killed. Out of the eight of them, she stabbed two in the back before they would turn around and fight her and not the horse. And, as a good mount, he helped where he could, kicking and stomping at the soldiers waiting patiently in line to kill the fortress invader. But she was just a little on edge herself, what with the impending explosion and all, and fighting nervous made her fight sloppy. An arm was cut, deep, throwing her off balance and causing it to take entirely too long to kill the remaining guards. At this rate, she'd be lucky to make it out in once piece.

Vaulting onto the horse's back, she grabbed hold of the reins in her left hand, while still brandishing her sword in her right. No time to make sure all of her cuts were clean kills; anyone who got in her way just might have to writhe in agony for awhile, before they got blown up.

She made it through the inner wall when she wondered if the fuse had made it. Perhaps some guard in the palace had seen it, and snuffed it out. There was no time to go back and check, but that would make getting away a lot harder. More people would be following her, which meant it would take her longer to get home than she wanted.

And that always made her cranky.

But through the second wall and she heard it; the cracking discharge of way too much black powder igniting and combusting. Rubble began spewing through the air, hitting her in the back like some weird hail as she galloped away. Over her shoulder, she could hear at least twenty of the men pursuing her, on foot. Two of them were on horses. If she could get far enough away, and give a long enough chase, she would only have to worry about the two horsemen. After that, it was easy enough to double-back her trail so as to confuse any soldiers who did manage to catch up, before home sweet home.

She really loved this job. Perversely, almost. There had to be something wrong with her.

888888

Kado had sustained a shallow cut on his flank during the final oo-rah of the fracas. Once in the stable, the girl wearily treated her mount with a warm poultice kept at the ready. He didn't like it much, and tried to nip her shoulder while she slathered the medicine on. A smack to his velvety nose was enough to get him to quit complaining. Anyway, she was in no mood to deny him his extra carrots; he had really done well today.

With a weary sigh, she felled her back against the wall before sliding down to the hay covered floor of the stable. The smell of horse was always calming to her, almost as much as gunpowder, but not quite. Horse was warm, and alive. It promised soft skin, and smooth, fine hair to accompany its earthen aroma. Gunpowder just smelled like gunpowder, and not much else. Maybe a little bit of steel, but nothing entirely pleasant. Horse was definitely a pleasant smell.

Horse was trying to smell her back.

"Hey!" she fussed, pushing away Kado's long nose from her face. He nickered, and knew she was only pretending to be annoyed with him, so he shoved his nose against her once more, lipping her neck. "Cut it out, carrot breath!" she giggled, scratching his forelock while hugging his long face. Sighing, she nuzzled her cheek against her friend.

"We made it," she whispered, wearily. After a mission was completed was the only time she allowed herself to doubt its success. Right now, sitting on the stable floor, she counted all the things that had gone wrong, and could have resulted in her death. There was the whole lie about Oki, hoping that it was indeed true that he was a hermit _and_ a loyal vassal. Then there was the bedroom—gods! That demon had been none to happy when he realized there was someone in his room unannounced. The swell of youki almost made her choke. Who'd have thought the floor would squeak? Thank heavens he thought she was cute, because that was an easy save. Then the guards, the endless guards that all wanted her dead, followed by the fuse that didn't want to be lit, and the explosion that tried to club her to death. The two soldiers on horseback had been a piece of cake; not too many demon warriors were trained to fight while riding. The ideal of the demon world was to go at it with hands and swords and fangs. Horses were for show.

Kado bumped his mouth to her collarbone, before lifting his head and resuming his snack. Absently, she lifted her hand to rub the knot he'd made, only to find the pearl was gone.

She wanted to scream. If it fell off somewhere back there, she was never going to find it! She knew she had needed something more secure than just a little scrap of silk, but no! Silk it was! Jumping to her feet, she clutched her neck and scanned the hay for anything remotely pearl-like. Nothing there. Her panicking hand slid up Kado's withers, gripping a clump of mane and bracing herself to jump back on. But the hand at her neck slid lower, and found what she was so desperately afraid had been lost. The ribbon had merely loosened, and the pearl had gone down the front of her shirt a little. It had just fallen out of the cradle of her collarbone, was all. It was safe. Crisis over.

She heaved a sigh and simultaneously fell to the floor on her bottom, before pitching over onto her side. Tonight had been too stressful, and she was just too tired. She's sleep in the stable tonight.

Besides, this way, she'd be able to cry without anyone hearing but Kado.

888

The morning greeted her with a slimy foot in the face.

"You stupid girl!" an all too familiar, all too annoying voice squawked. "What are you doing out here in the barn? You stink!"

She sat up, blinking her bleary eyes and smirking all too devilishly. "And you smell like fish," she shot back. Stretching her arms and yawning, she managed to get enough blood flowing to stand up and check Kado's wound. It was doing much better. That was good; he'd be healed in no time.

"The master wants to see you," her walking alarm clock demanded.

She snorted and slouched in disgust. "Can't I take a _bath_ first?" she whined. "_You_ said I stink."

"The master wants to see you, _now_," the shrill little voice insisted. "He made the _now_ part very clear, now go!"

"Alright, alright," she grumped, jogging out of the stable and into the full sunlight. Wow. Bright.

She could hear his footsteps along the gravel pathway before she could clearly see him. She'd know those footsteps even if she was blind. They were…well, they were in just about every memory she'd ever had. And she'd do anything for the still out of focus silhouette who owned them.

"Mission accomplished, m'lord!" she chirped, taking a jaunty bow.

The demon lord finished his approach, then placed his large, clawed hand on her shoulder.

Sesshomaru's face was as schooled as ever, even as he searched her body for wounds. "It's good to have you home, Rin."


	2. Chapter 2

_The Pearl_

Disclaimer: You know the song and dance.

Chapter Two

_I doubt sometimes whether_

_a quiet & unagitated life_

_would have suited me—yet I_

_sometimes long for it._

--Byron

888888

"Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakken!" Rin whined as loud as humanly possible. "I need heeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!"

The imp waddled indignantly over to the petulant teenage girl. "What are you flapping your mouth about, stupid girl?" he grumbled. "You're loud enough to be heard in the next world."

Rin shrugged the comment off gracefully. So the toad needed to be sweet-talked today. What else was new? "I need you to light the fire for the bath-house, Jakken-_sama_," Rin calmly requested. As an afterthought, she blinked her eyes cutely, and puckered her lips. "Pwetty pweeze?"

"Do it yourself, you unending pain!" the retainer wailed. "Don't you have that flint you carry?"

The girl smiled so sweetly, Jakken could feel his non-existent teeth rotting. "I lost it," she sang, as if losing things was a game.

Jakken smirked. "Well, that's _your_ problem then, seeing as that was _your_ flint."

Rin stomped her foot indignantly. "Just light the damn fire, Jakken," she groused. "Light it, and I'll cook something nice for dinner tonight." She placed her finger to her temple in thought, before holding it up in the air and smiling brightly. "How about rabbit? Mmmmm, rabbit! Yummy yummy!" She rubbed her hand over her belly and licked her lips, hoping the toad would bite.

"We always have rabbit," he whined right back, knowing full well how to beat the child at her own game.

"But you _like_ it when I fix it," she reminded him with big brown glassy eyes. Any second, tears would fall, and she'd be weeping and begging incoherently. It was always her best last resort.

And Jakken knew it. "Alright already," he screeched. "Rabbit it is, now go take your bath you stinking human!" The toad made his way under the bath-house, and with a quick blast from Nintoujou had the fire blazing and already warming the water.

"Thank you Jakken-chan," Rin teased, blowing a kiss over her shoulder before disappearing inside the building.

"Don't call me 'chan'!" the imp yelled, waving his fist. The girl never ceased to amaze him with the new ways she discovered to annoy him. Shaking his head, he lumbered off to the garden, trying to remember what he had been setting out to do before Rin started whining at him.

Inside the bath-house, Rin shucked off her clothes expediently and stretched her body out in the steam. With any luck, she could burn that outfit, and never have to _smell_ it again. This past mission had been quite a workout from the beginning, what with hauling around heavy explosives in layers upon layers of clothes. Just when she thought she was dehydrated and had drained every pore, she'd sweat some more. And sleeping in the stable didn't help either. Honestly, how Sesshomaru was able to stand near her and not gag was truly amazing.

But then, Sesshomaru was never one for facial expressions.

"It was a pain in the ass!" she'd whined earlier that morning, when he had asked her if the mission went well. For extra effect, she'd slammed her rice bowl on the table, sending a few stray kernels flying.

"This Sesshomaru never said any of this would be easy, Rin," he reminded her.

As with everything Sesshomaru did, he did it with finesse. Like now, as he ate breakfast, he was elegantly moving his arm from the bowl on the table to his mouth, chopsticks perfectly grasping the same amount of food, chewing soundlessly, and swallowing so that every muscle in his throat was emphasized, before doing it all again with his long sleeve fluttering. Rin found that it could be quite easy to lose herself when watching her guardian do anything. And it often landed her in trouble; meals ended when _he_ was finished eating, and if she forgot to eat because she was watching _him_ eat, then too bad.

Rin huffed out a breath through her lower lip, blowing her bangs away from her face. "Yeah, well, don't expect me to be _nice_ or anything, for like, a few days or something," she moped.

Sesshomaru merely nodded.

Rin sighed, then switched to a new tactic. "I lost my flint," she griped, "and the sword's nearly dull from all the soldiers I had to cut down, what with the armor and all."

The demon gestured out to the left with his chopsticks, not bothering to look up from his breakfast. "You know where to find the proper equipment needed to replace everything," he almost sighed. "Do not be as careless the next time; you know perfectly well how dangerous it will be for you to leave any evidence of your…interferences."

Rin huffed and pulled her rice-bowl closer to her face. She didn't _mean_ to lose the flint, it just got lost in the way-side while she was fighting for her very life. Speaking of that.

"I almost lost my necklace," she whispered, clutching her throat and glaring at the rice.

Sesshomaru looked up.

Rin wanted him to know she was scared, but without admitting she was scared. She had felt so frantic the night before, when she thought she'd lost her pearl. Without it, then _she'd_ be lost. It was more than a good luck charm; it was _her_. In the midst of battle, some arrow or some spear could have found her out, and just like that, she'd be gone. All her hard work, and all her dances with fate would have been for nothing. This mission had frayed her last nerve.

Finally, after enough dramatic tension had set in, or so she felt, she lifted her glare from the rice to her lord and guardian, hoping he could understand what she wasn't saying.

_I was scared I was going to die again_, she told him with her eyes.

Sesshomaru blinked.

"I want it fixed," she hissed through her teeth. "I want it fixed so I don't have to worry about it anymore, not ever."

The demon seemed to consider the human girl's words, and the underlying threat beneath them. The threat was, that if he didn't do something to fix this problem, she would, and the results would probably be disastrous at best. All too well, he remembered the time she tried to carve it into her chest. She still had scars from that attempt. And of course there had been the time she tried to burn her arm enough so that the flesh would heal around the stone. Jakken had nearly fainted at the sight. The most recent had been trying to sew it into her belly button. It was amazing to him, the pains she would go through to keep that pearl on her person.

Blinking and taking a deep breath, the demon lord paid the girl the courtesy of nodding directly at her, before returning his attention once again to breakfast. "We will leave for Totosai's forge," he declared, "after you have had a bath." The last part had been muttered low, trying and failing to not sound derisive. She knew very well that she reeked, so it was okay.

Now, she was soaking in the warm water, letting the minerals fizz over her skin. Comforts such as this made her grateful that she had been rescued by someone rich, though truthfully she would have adored him no matter what. And that was what absolutely killed her; she would have followed him, demon or human, noble or pauper, because he was _him_. He would always be him, no matter what skin he wore. His soul was familiar to her; it comforted her, and called to her, while it remained firm in its sense of duty to bring her up properly. But that didn't stop her from doing things on her own. At age 18, Rin knew what lover was.

Sort of.

She was pretty sure, but wasn't totally sure. She'd never had one, and probably never would. That was okay by her, seeing as no man in his right mind would come a' courtin' for the ward of the Lord of the Western Lands. And she didn't want anyone _out_ of his right mind. So everything worked out for the best.

Rin slouched and blew bubbles along the water's surface with her mouth. _Maybe it would be nice though_, she thought glumly. The demon's kiss from the night before still lingered on her mouth, and it irritated her. That certainly was not her first kiss, nor would it be the last, and unfortunately it would probably be under similar circumstances. It was just a shame that she had to kill every man who kissed her, or even tried to kiss her. Some of them completely disgusted her. But some of them weren't too bad looking, and she thought that she might not mind kissing them, if they weren't slated to die at her hand.

She hadn't meant to kiss him in the first place. She hadn't meant to be seen or heard, either. Who would have thought the floor boards would creak? It turned her stomach, when she realized what she had to do to avoid being discovered. She knew that most males found her to be attractive. Some of them she could care less about what they thought, but some she banked on them thinking she was pretty. It was how she did her job, and did it well. This snotty prince was convinced she had the hots for him, and it got him killed in the end. Rin giggled to herself. Men really weren't picky about the women they liked, as long as they were physically attractive. Fortunately, she was also gifted with a sparkling personality, should her looks fail.

It wasn't always the same ruse. The "princess in distress" scheme could only work if she did research into a good back-story. She'd met Oki once, when she was a little girl. Sesshomaru had taken her there to see the kappa, and to learn how to swim. The water demon did in fact have a daughter, and she was very ugly, by even demon standards. But she had inherited her father's distaste for wandering beyond the boundaries of the house, except to swim in the open ocean. The lady of the house had died inelegantly of a parasite common to fresh-water fish in the area the family used to live. After the funeral rites were performed, the father and infant daughter disappeared into anonymity, to live and die happily ever after.

Oki-sama was a loyal vassal of the Eastern Lands. But he had lived within the boundaries of the Western Lands with his wife, and had been a loyal vassal to Sesshomaru's honorable father. In essence, allegiances meant little to him; as long as he kept his nose clean, no one cared to bother him. When the dog demon and his little human ward showed up for a visit, he opened the door without prejudice and served them tea, like he would anybody. This meant that he did not go out of his way to treat his guest like the high ranking noble he was, though. Sesshomaru didn't mind; this trip was not about him anyway. They stayed for two days, so Rin could learn how to swim from the demon's daughter. It was a happy childhood memory for Rin, and Sesshomaru could have peace of mind whenever she went to take a bath in deep or moving water. They left, neither party any more impressed with the other.

Rin dunked her head under the water and let the heat sting her face and scalp. It was a good hurt, and she needed it. She'd never feel completely clean unless she did it. It was because she felt especially dirty, remembering the demon's hand on her back and face, that she worried so. In her mind, he was pawing at her, pressing his bare chest against her and smothering her with his musk. Frantically, Rin rubbed her skin raw under the water with the pumice stone, trying to erase the night before. Her pores opened and her skin practically sizzled. Pain was something she learned to tolerate, and even welcome, living under Sesshomaru's care for so long.

Surfacing, Rin grabbed her soap and lathered her hair. Normally, she would use an unscented soap made primarily from milk and beeswax. Smelling like nothing was how she managed to walk amongst demons unnoticed or ignored. But today, she didn't have to go to work. Today, she got to use her favorite cherry soap. She'd made it from the fruit when it dropped from the tree in the garden, along with the usual milk and beeswax. It was okay because Totosai knew her, but through the smelt and smoke in his forge he wouldn't be able to smell her anyway. She could smell pretty for herself.

Suddenly, she regretted the outfit she had picked out for the journey. Her outer kimono was a drab brown, with a yellow obi, which was alright for someone who didn't smell like cherries. But for someone who did smell like cherries, and Rin did, she needed something in pink. Cataloguing her wardrobe in her mind, Rin searched for a suitable substitute for her current outfit. She did have a red robe, with vertical pink stripes that started at her shoulders and went down her front and back. It wasn't too fancy either, considering that the red part was made from linen, while the pink stripes were silk. A nice white obi, and she'd have the perfect "person who smells like cherries" outfit.

Once she had rinsed her hair, and swam around in the warm water for a few extra minutes, Rin climbed out onto the wooden platform and wrung her long hair out to dry. People whose hair smells like cherries should wear their hair down, she decided. A red ribbon to tie it back would have her looking perfect. Yanking the bamboo scraper from off the shelf, she hastily flicked any remaining moisture from her skin, before throwing on her white yukata and leaving. Carrying her old outfit, she made a dash for the house, hoping that not too many people would see her running around in her under-robe, while carrying perfectly good clothes.

Jakken was too many people today.

The toad covered his eyes and began squawking. "What do you think you're doing running around like that?" he yelled. "Your indecency burns this Jakken's eyes out!"

Rin sniggered. "You've seen worse, old man," she teased, ducking into her room and closing the door behind her. Jakken had stopped guarding Rin when she bathed outdoors when she was twelve, and that was only because she had learned to use a sword by then.

Among other things.

Her room was in the same wing as Sesshomaru's, though not on the same hall. When she was a child, she had slept in the small room adjoining the master's expansive bedchamber, for both convenience and protection. Adolescence moved her across the hall, and adult-hood to her own corridor. Each move gave her a bigger room; Rin was immensely pleased when she first moved into her present quarters. It was almost like having a little house all to herself within a corner of the palace. Still, she had spent little time in her bedroom other than to sleep lately. Before a mission, the majority of her time was spent in the dojo, training.

Rin threw her old clothes on the bed, noting that she needed to clean them up later. She needed to clean a lot up later, she realized dryly, looking about her room. She had never been fond of putting clothes away. Thankfully, she hadn't worn the new outfit she had in mind for awhile, so it was still neatly folded and unwrinkled in her drawer.

Much to the girl's chagrin, it had been a little too long since she'd last worn this particular kimono. While the length went properly down to her ankles, she hadn't been as busty when she first had it made. It wasn't obscene, but it was uncomfortable smashing everything in. Not that there was much to smash, but what she had to smash was enough. Geta sandals would be best on her feet; anything that kept her away from the heat was always nice. Grabbing her red hair ribbon, she clenched it in her teeth while gathering her hair back to the base of her neck. In the mirror, she thought she looked rather nice with the red on her mouth. Once her hair was secured, she brushed on some of her red paint to her lower lip, then stood back to admire the results. All in all, she looked rather dressed up for someone who was going to a forge. But it felt _good_, and she needed to feel good today. Yes, today would be a good day. Rubbing the pearl at her neck in a silent prayer for luck, she trotted out to meet her traveling companions.

Sesshomaru was holding the reins to an anxious two-headed dragon. Aun was often neglected in favor of Kado for Rin's travels, but today, only demons and dragons could get to the place they were going swiftly. Both Ah and Un were growling impatiently, eager to be going on a trip again.

The girl skidded to a stop right in front of Sesshomaru. "I'm ready!" she cheerfully declared, throwing up her arms.

"What in the depths of hell are you wearing you stupid girl?" Jakken gasped.

"I feel pretty today," Rin sang, knocking her head back and forth like a bell.

The toad grinned smugly. "Got a thing for the old man, I see," he cackled. "I'm sure you'd make him a pretty little wi—hey let—get off of me!"

Rin had wanted to stomp on his head, but then she remembered her geta so she firmly stepped on his torso, and stood for a minute watching the imp struggle. She knew without being patronized that she was overdressed. She just hoped no one else would notice.

"Let's go," Sesshomaru barked.

Rin released her prisoner from under her foot and looked to her lord. His back was turned, and he was radiating absolute impatience. She felt silly, all of a sudden. Of course this trip was an inconvenience to him. Of course he didn't want to see the smelly old codger who wouldn't make him a sword. He needed to be in his board room, reviewing maps and treaties and seeing diplomats. With the heir to the Eastern Lands dead, he stood to profit a great deal. And the messenger who just happened to be visiting from the South made it all the more easier; the blame could easily be placed on the Southern Lord, and an alliance with the East against the South could be signed, in exchange for a good piece of land naturally. He was building his empire. And today, he was taking time off from his empire to take his girl-child to have a necklace made.

Rin felt unbelievably big, and small at the same time.

Quietly, she hefted herself onto the dragon and sat properly in the saddle. Before Sesshomaru taught Rin how to kill, he taught her how to be a lady. Today, she would be on her best behavior. Provided, of course, that Jakken kept his mouth shut.

The trip took approximately two hours, though it would take many days if it was journeyed by foot. Flying was something Rin enjoyed, and Aun was always a good mount. He never once gave her any reason to think she might fall, and so it was because of that she never had a fear of heights. Jakken was clinging to the fur pelt Sesshomaru carried, as he flew beside them on a cloud of his own youki. It had taken him awhile to relinquish the reins, and he seemed to tug urgently at the dragon as he flew ahead. But after a spell, he fell back and handed the straps over to Rin, letting her govern the course of her ride. He was in a hurry, she could tell, so she did her best to keep up without over-tiring Aun.

The four of them set down just outside the gaping maw of Totosai's forge. Aun was given a sound smack to the withers, and he frolicked off to find Momo, the sword-smith's three eyed cow. The lord, the retainer, and the ward stepped inside the forge.

They found him sound asleep, head rested on an anvil while his body slumped over to the floor. His hand still held a hammer, and whatever he'd been working on had fallen to the wayside.

Rin saw from the corner of her eye that Jakken was getting ready to make some self-important speech, about how dare the old man be sleeping when Sess_-sho_-maru-sama was visiting. She was in no mood for that, and she was sure the smithy was never in any mood for it.

"Ojii-sama," she chirped pleasantly, cutting Jakken off before he opened his mouth.

The elderly demon startled, and popped his impossibly large eyes open to see what had woken him up so sweetly. Naturally, he was quite happy to see Rin. The puppy/frog he could do without.

"Rin-chan!" he yawned. Stretching his arms above his head to shake the sleep from his muscles, he dropped the hammer and rose to his feet. Then he held his open arms out in front, signaling Rin to come in for a hug. She cheerfully obliged.

"You look so nice today," he complimented. "Is it my birthday?" He looked about for any cues to the occasion.

Rin giggled. "No, Ojii-sama, I just felt like looking pretty today." Embarrassed with her admission, Rin blushed and made a mental note to avoid eye-contact with Sesshomaru for the rest of the day. She was quite certain he might laugh at her.

The sword-smith shrugged. "You're pretty everyday," he croaked, scratching his head, "so I don't know why you're making a big deal of it for me. Still, these old eyes do appreciate it." He chuckled warmly, and petted the girl on her back.

Rin blushed again. Avoid eye-contact with Sesshomaru tomorrow too, just for good measure.

"Why are you here?" Totosai groaned.

"Well, I need---"

"Not you," the old man laughed, patting Rin on the shoulder. He pointed to Sesshomaru. "_You_."

The dog demon sniffed haughtily. "This Sesshomaru is here on behalf of his ward, and nothing else."

Totosai smiled smugly. "Just making sure."

As if the air had suddenly turned putrid with distrust, Sesshomaru pivoted on his heel and was outside of the cave in but two blinks of an eye. Jakken, of course, was swiftly tagging along, stumbling occasionally.

"Hrumph," the geezer grunted. "Insolent pup. Never respected his elders, you know." He turned to Rin. "I don't know how you put up with him for so long, in all honesty."

"I put up with him just fine," Rin defended. She wasn't about to go all humble and insist that it was in fact him that put up with her. She found him to be a royal pain from time to time, and she wasn't about to lie. But it didn't make her any less grateful, or any less indebted to him for everything that she had and was.

Carefully, Rin untied the silk cord from around her neck and caught the pearl in her right hand. Despite the fire and brimstone of the place, the pearl remained cold to the touch. She was going to be a nervous wreck once she handed it over to the smithy; any prolonged absence, she had discovered, weakened her body. But once she got it back, it would never have to leave her again.

"I need this set into a collar," she instructed, holding out her precious bauble. "I want the collar to be silver, and fitted around my neck so it can never be taken off."

Totosai picked up the object in question and closed one eye, looking the little white sphere over. It was as if he was considering something deep and demanding, and if only he stared at the pearl long enough he would find the answer. There was the strangest aura about this object that had him completely mesmerized. It wasn't demonic, but it was powerful, something told him, if you knew how to use it.

"What type now?" he mumbled, having totally forgotten what the girl had just said.

Rin shook her head and smiled wearily. He was centuries upon centuries old, and yet Totosai seemed to have the attention span of a toddler. "Fit it into a silver collar, and make it so the collar can never be taken off."

"Why would you want that?" the old man asked, horrified.

"Please," Rin begged, hands clasped in front of her. "This is a very important trinket to me. I don't want to lose it. Please." Her lower lip pouted out, and she knew full well that no man could resist that face. It was a finely crafted mask she had practiced shaping hours upon hours in front of a mirror. She'd used it once on Sesshomaru to test its true abilities. He cleared his throat, and not much else; but he did end up giving her what she had been asking for, even though he didn't look to be moved by her pleas.

The smithy tossed the pearl up into the air and caught it. Rin felt her heart jump into her throat, then fall through her skin and onto the floor.

"I'll have it done in an hour," he gleefully declared. "I'll be callin' you when it's ready." He turned to walk away, but quickly swiveled back and clutched his hands about Rin's neck in a choke hold. Carefully, he unhinged his grasp and walked over to his table, looking through the circle his fingers made. Rin shakily stepped outside.

888888

Sesshomaru decided that it was a rather garish fashion statement, but the girl seemed happy with the outcome.

The hair on the back of his neck bristled when the old man clasped the heated silver around Rin's nape and tapped it together. The smell of burning flesh was something that Sesshomaru could have done without, and he wasn't sure the end product was worth it. It looked like a fancy slave's neck cuff. The imagery wasn't lost on him, and for the rest of the way home he couldn't bring himself to look at her.

She didn't regret…anything, did she?

It had been a mutual decision, in the eve of Naraku's destruction. He was set in returning to his empire. She was ten, and after four years of traveling with the demon, knew little of life with anyone else. So he proposed two options to the child: stay with him as a servant in his house, or stay with him as…something else.

Her devotion never ceased to amaze him. Everything short of beating her himself, she had suffered a great deal from traveling in his company. She had been kidnapped, twice by Naraku's underlings and once by a random demon. She was ridiculed in every village she passed through in search of food. She was targeted endlessly by rouge demons during their travels. She deserved better.

She chose the second option.

So, the great and powerful demon Lord of the Western Lands took his girl-child home to his palace, and worked on devising a place for her within his empire.

He couldn't name the exact moment she became indispensable. Her faith in his abilities was unending. Her dependence on his strength was endearing. Her laughter was addicting. Sesshomaru did not know how the child had become a staple in his life; he only knew that he felt _happy_ when she had followed him on that fateful day in the forest. He hadn't been happy with much of anything, besides his new sword, in years. She became the lesson his honored father wanted him to learn, so he listened well.

There were times that he wondered if he'd misinterpreted her from the beginning.

It was only a year after she had moved into the shiro that Rin expressed a desire to learn basic sword-play. It was something she could do with someone else, and wouldn't be turned down if she asked for it; after all, she was quite lonely. In the house of a bachelor lord, soldiers and generals swarmed about in hopes that some kind of war would be declared to keep them busy. Sesshomaru had every interest in gaining as much power and land as he could. He was never the defender, and always the invader. When Rin came to him, sword in hand, he wasn't quite sure what to make of it. It became glaringly apparent to him for the first time that she was a female, looking at her holding a weapon. Gender really hadn't concerned him previously; she was a human, she was Rin, and she was his. That was all that mattered. Now, he realized that she was fast growing into a woman, and wanted to learn how to play with the boys. As improper as it was for Sesshomaru to have a human trotting after him, it would be even more improper to have that human acting out of place. She would learn to be a lady first. Then she could learn how to use a sword.

Her teacher was the wife of his eldest general. After having fought in exactly 1107 battles, and commanding 901 of them in his life, the dog demon Kyoshii decided he might try raising some kids for the heck of it. It turned out he was not capable of providing himself with offspring, but he and his wife Takako lived happily, taking in the younger soldiers as their children instead. When Rin was brought to Takako-san's house to be given tutelage, the demon woman nearly squealed in delight. The girl became a surrogate daughter, and even now Rin was still quite close with her teacher.

Rin learned how to dress properly. She learned how to wear regal clothes with humility, and simple clothes with haughtiness. She learned how to eat, and how to serve food. She learned how to read and write a little, or at least that was the impression Sesshomaru was given. Women of the day were not permitted to write much more than their name, or read much else besides poetry. The two females would often meet secretly in the evening and read together almost anything they could get their hands on. It didn't matter if it was interesting or not; it was exciting if they could understand it at all. Rin also learned to sing and dance, both of which she had a natural talent for. It had been astonishing to Sesshomaru when his little urchin appeared before him as a lady of fine standing, a truly remarkable transformation indeed.

That is, until she lost her temper from her sleeves getting in the way and knocked a few teacups off the table. General Kyoshii said he had never laughed so hard in his life, watching the girl's frustration with her clothing. She did put up quite a fight. But it was impressive after that too, once she calmed down. In fact, it was impressive that she calmed down at all. Sesshomaru had known her to go into crying fits for hours over things that frustrated her, or made her feel helpless. That was where the swords came in.

After a year with Takako-san, Rin "graduated" to the dojo, where she trained under General Katsuro, the Western Lands' youngest and most promising commanding officer. The young dog demon was recommended by General Kyoshii, well-liked by his peers, and even better liked by the women. It was for that reason that Sesshomaru had been hesitant in turning Rin over into the young general's care, but Katsuro assured his lord that he found the little human to be most repugnant looking. Sesshomaru pretended to believe it, and kept a close eye on the two anyway. Rin spent a year in intense training at the dojo, and afterwards continued to practice several times a week. Katsuro was her most frequent and favorite sparring partner, but she was never one to turn down a challenge from others. She was a favorite face among the men, often telling them stories and jokes like a true soldier. Rin had been known to make even the swarthiest among them blush.

And now, she was 18 and still keeping company with her beloved lord. Twelve years. In twelve years, he had seen her become an entirely different person, but still remain the same at the core. She grew taller, rounder, louder then quieter, stronger, faster, smarter, deadlier, and…lovelier.

The dog demon looked to his ward now, and found her in a pensive pose. Her cheeks were flushed—she was embarrassed about something—but her eyes were frozen open and deep in thought. She _did_ look pretty today, even if it seemed silly and unnecessary for her to dress up like she did to visit the forge. Whatever had motivated her to do this was beyond Sesshomaru's realm of reason. But he was still glad she did. She still had the fierce spark in her eyes that was present in her childhood, but now there was wisdom behind it. Rin was a force to be reckoned with.

Sometimes, he needed to be reminded that she was once a little girl at all.

888

Totosai waved to the girl as she left. There was something strange about her, that he couldn't quite place. Since he'd last seen her, she'd changed, but he couldn't exactly name what about her was different. Heck, it was even a little disturbing. As much as his eyes and his memory told him she was human, his senses told him she was not.

The old geezer made a mental note to ask about it the next time she came. He then made a mental note to not make mental notes, because he always forgot them. Turning around and walking back inside, he decided to take a nap; he'd needed one all day.

888888

There were two things in the world that Rin loved doing above all else. The first was picking flowers, which she had just finished doing. The second, which she was now doing, was riding her horse.

Kado had been her thirteenth birthday present. She hadn't asked for anything, and had never thought herself to need a horse, but now she couldn't imagine life without him. He was a proper horse and not a stubby pony like the Chinese rode and called a horse. Of course, having been the ward of a wealthy and powerful nobleman for close to a decade, she knew to expect nothing less from her lord than perfect. General Katsuro helped her break the 2-year old gelding, claiming it wouldn't be proper to have her gallivanting about on a "broad broke" horse. Together they also worked on training Kado to spook at nothing. After many months and countless carrots, Rin had in her possession one of the finest war-horses in all the Western Lands. She also had her first best friend.

It was almost silly to consider, but Rin felt a unique bond with the animal that was beyond what words could describe. She could tell him _anything_, and felt like he would listen to her every word. He almost talked back to her, with much of his body language. If she told him a bad joke, he would always nibble at her hair. When she cried, he would put his soft nose against her cheek and hold still. Her anger always riled him up, along with her excitement, as if he was on the exact same vein of emotion. Kado was her partner, and as a team they were unstoppable.

Rin hadn't felt much like changing when she got home. After all the effort she'd put into her outfit, it seemed a shame to go and take it off. So, when no one was looking, she led Kado out of his paddock by the bridle, hitched up her kimono, and jumped on the horse to ride into the sunset. When she'd gotten to a field where the sun was still shining brightly, she'd picked flowers until dusk, and decided it was time to race the darkness home.

The grass pollen stung her legs. Rin knew she could have been smarter about this whole spontaneous excursion. Experience had shown her that her skin would itch for hours, and she could have prevented it if she'd just worn pants, but then where would the spontaneity be? _Quit whining_, she chided herself, _and enjoy your day off_. Tomorrow, and for the rest of the week, she would be in the dojo. Then it was back on the road. Her next target would be the commanding general of the Eastern armies. She'd get the full story on what was expected of her in the morning, but from what little she knew of this demon, it was looking to be another "close-call" type.

She stopped the horse a stone's throw away from the first of the three walls guarding the palace. Home. Knowing very well she couldn't ride in looking as she did, but not really wanting to go inside just yet, Rin dismounted and sat in the grass. Digging her nails into her legs, she raked up and down a few times, then left them alone in hopes that the itching would stop. It didn't, but she could at least ignore it. The weather had been so nice; outside of the awkward silences, the journey that morning had been most pleasant. It looked like it was going to be hot tomorrow, for already the newly fallen night was muggy. Kado contented himself to munching on grass while his mistress seemingly pondered the secrets of the universe. For all she knew, the horse was laughing at her, as she sat in the grass that made her itch, with her kimono hiked up her thighs and her hair frizzed from the wind. As if to prove her sentiment true, Kado snorted loudly.

Then he snorted again, and jerked his body away from Rin, as if the grass was suddenly sweeter over there. Rin sighed. So.

"I know you're there," she murmured lightly.

Kado whinnied.

Crossing her arms over her up-drawn knees, Rin huffed indignantly. "Fine, don't acknowledge me! I just wanted you to know you weren't fooling anyone!"

The breeze tickled through the grass. A cricket began singing his love-song for his yet to be found mate. For a time, Rin was content to sit and listen to the sounds of the night. It had been so long since she had been able to just sit still and listen to something that wasn't a lecture, or a debriefing, or shallow, or screaming. Something pleasant. But, at the same time, she was lonely, and a conversation was starting to look pretty comforting. Even if it was going to be with herself.

"Thank you, for today," she gushed awkwardly. Her hand automatically went to her throat, where she petted over her new collar, lingering over the pearl before letting her hand fall to her side once more. "I know you don't like it, but I do. It means a lot that you did it, for me, so thanks." Rin laughed nervously, desperate to say anything else besides "thank you." Besides, this wasn't the best thing to be discussing with him; he was probably still feeling sore about the trip. Clearing her throat, she smoothly began a new topic.

"I was thinking, on the way home, about that demon I killed," she confessed. Stretching out her legs in front of her body, she leaned back onto her hands and looked to the stars. "What a piece of work, I tell ya. That little shit thought he was something special." She laughed. "I suppose he was, to somebody. And that's what I was thinkin' about. I go around killing somebody's somebody, but what if I get killed? I mean, I know I probably won't get killed, seeing as it's pretty impossible with how well-trained I am and all," she joked. No laugh in return. Not even Kado had anything to say about it. Rin sighed, discouraged, but still continued talking.

"I said to myself, I said, 'Rin, who would miss you if you die?' And I said back to myself, I said, 'Self, Kado would'. But then I said back, I said, 'But Rin, Kado would only miss you feeding him'." The girl snickered at her own joke and tossed her head side-long to look to the horse in question. He swished his tail and shook his head, but didn't stop eating. Exasperated, Rin flopped onto her back and stretched her hands above her head. One bare knee wobbled about, while the other leg lay straight and stiff against the ground. Experimentally, Rin lifted the elevated leg so her foot was up in the air. She tried to find an outline of stars that would fit it. It had happened before, but she just had to be patient.

"That's a pretty depressing conversation, to have all on one's lonesome," she commented dryly, resuming her original train of thought. Her voice wavered whenever her foot wobbled too much, but she didn't stop searching for her proper outline. "And I know the answer too. Not very many people would miss me, if anyone at all. But it's because I'm not that _close_ to anyone, you know?" She suddenly remembered who she was talking to. Rin snorted. "Of course _you_ do."

Rin had hoped the insult, or even the self-depreciating speech would garner a sniff, or grunt, or any sound. Still nothing. He really must not be in a good mood tonight. The trip to the forge must have gotten to him more than she had initially thought. Breakfast was looking like it was going to be much of the same. Great.

"Look," she grunted, giving up on the star search and sitting up. She threw her head backwards so that her hair wove in and out of the grass. Absently, she realized that she must look rather childish in her sloppily worn kimono, but it wasn't something she really cared to care about. She could be indecent on her own free time, if she wanted. "I don't regret my life. I really don't. I love being here, I love my job, and I love…" _You,_ she thought. She bit her lip and tried again. "I love the way things are. But, for all that I do, I'm not _close_ to anyone, and kissing that demon last night reminded me of it quite bluntly."

At this remark, she flipped over, eager to see if _that_ had managed to get some kind of reaction. Only darkness greeted her. Maybe he was ignoring her. Maybe he'd left. Maybe he'd never been there to begin with. It didn't really matter now.

She sighed and cradled her chin on her hands, propped on her elbows. "I just…want…I don't know what the hell I want!" Rin fell on her face in the grass and laughed, rolling over and over a few times. When she was right-side up, she wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes and settled down. Idly, she brushed her fingertips over the pearl now welded around her throat. _I have all the time in the world to figure out what I want_, she realized grimly. _All the time I've ever wanted, and you won't give me the time of day_.

"I have a purpose," she sagely concluded, "and I can do what I love and love what I do. I just want something _else_." The girl neatly folded her hands on her chest, not bothering to wipe away the tear pooling in her right eye. She let it fall, then whispered, "You have your empire. I want something that's mine. Something that makes it all _worth_ it."

In this concluding silence, Rin realized that an entire cricket concert was in swing, and well into the ninth concerto of the program. If she didn't duck out now, it would seem rude. Whistling brought Kado back over, and she used his bulk to help pull herself upright. Not bothering to fix her clothes, she just let them fall back into place as she walked. When she got to the gate, she stopped and looked up at the moon. A pearl-white crescent smiled down at her, or maybe winked. She wasn't sure. She would journey back east on the new moon.

"Thanks for listening," she whispered, then opened the gate and passed through the outermost wall of the fortress.

When he knew she was well in her bed, Sesshomaru sighed gently, daring to lean over the wall and look out over his darkened kingdom. He…wasn't much of a talker. Never had been, and never planned on becoming one. But, with Rin, there were moments where he _wanted_ to say something. It didn't matter what.

It wasn't as if he ignored her; that had never been the case. He was fascinated with her. He'd laughed at some of her jokes, if they weren't filthy or about him. He'd fought with her, shouted at her even, and she stood her ground against him shouting right back. She was a little girl, unafraid of demons, unafraid of her future, and unafraid of forever. And, by some twist of the fates, she was his, and would always be his. He'd never planned on something like this, nor thought he would ever want it. But he had it, and he did.

It just felt _right_.

He'd hoped Rin would be happy with her new life, but her happiness no longer consisted of simple pleasures like making daisy chains. She was exactly what he'd made her into, and it was no fault but his own. She murdered, and while she had been murdered, the scale would never balance for her. She said she was scared for her life, but he knew she was scared for her soul.

Sesshomaru listened outside her door before he went to bed himself, just to see if she was sleeping. He could hear Rin's shallow breathing and slowed heartbeat through the walls. He imagined he could even hear her dreaming. Sadly, he realized that dreams were one more thing he couldn't give her.

As his eyes closed, he heard her voice in the woods, calling for him once more.

"I want to be with Sesshomaru-sama forever!" she'd demanded.

Sesshomaru could not understand why.

888888

Naraku seldom fought his own battles. He first created bunshin: Kanna, Kagura, and others. But only the first two were strong enough, and smart enough, to survive. When he went into hiding inside Mt. Hakueri, he enlisted the help of the resurrected Shichinintai—the Seven Man Army. Sesshomaru fought with three of them: Mukotsu, Jakotsu, and Suikotsu.

It was actually Suikotsu who was the inspiration for the pearl.

He had been shot in the neck by a purifying arrow. The miko Kikyou, whom Sesshomaru recognized as the one who had sealed Inuyasha, was hesitant to finish Suikotsu off. Rin stood quietly by her lord's side, watching the exchange. If it had not been for the miko, she would be dead. There was no way Sesshomaru-sama could have made it to her in time, though he tried. And now justice was ready to be dispensed. The man was begging for death. He wanted to be released from his torturous life, while he was still had a chance to be redeemed. Rin was anxious. This man had tried to harm her, even coming close to killing her. But she had never had a vengeful spirit, and wondered if the miko _could_ save him.

Before anyone could react, Jakotsu put an end to it all by slicing through Suikotsu's neck, and ripping out the Shikon shard that maintained his life. Without the power of the sacred jewel, his skin turned to dust, and crumbled to reveal nothing but bones.

Rin screamed.

Sesshomaru felt uneasy. This was the fate of all humans, he realized anew. They would crumble to dust and bones, and be forgotten. Rin had been in his care for almost a year; already she had grown two inches. She would grow up before he knew it, and she would be dead before he would realize. She…was fated to one day leave him.

"Thank you, miko-sama," Rin said, bowing shakily to Kikyou.

"Rin," Sesshomaru snapped, "we're going!"

And, like always, she followed. One day, he would call to her and she would not be there. One day, he would look to hear her laugh and only hear echoes of a ghost. She was leaving him just as fast as she was following him.

He was _scared_. For the very first time in his life, he felt afraid and lonely. And it was all at the thought of losing his little Rin. It was humiliating. He had to put a stop to it.

Stopping suddenly in his tracks, he bent to the balls of his feet and swiveled to face the girl. Placing his large hand over her tiny shoulder, he sternly looked her in the eyes. "You don't have to do that," he said gruffly.

"Do…what?" Rin stammered, quite confused by her master's uncharacteristic behavior.

"Follow this Sesshomaru," he stated. "You don't have to do that."

Rin smiled shyly. "I know," she said.

He watched her, waiting for a sign. He could let her go now, if she wanted. He _should_ let her go now, before it became too difficult for them both. She had almost died today; had he lost her, he'd have…been _sad_. Surely, after all this danger, after nearly having been killed, the girl would choose to leave. No human could be happy under these conditions. She would leave, and then he would not have to watch her die. He would never be plagued with these troubling emotions again.

Sesshomaru gasped as something cold touched the back of his hand. Jerking his head, he saw that Rin had placed one of her tiny hands on top of his own huge paw. Her skin was cold, probably due to the mountain air and the fright she'd just had. Rin giggled and Sesshomaru watched as she wrapped her entire hand around his middle finger, then squeezed.

"Rin _wants_ to follow Sesshomaru-sama," she stated matter-of-factly. She set her jaw and nodded her head, as if she was challenging him to dispute it.

The demon swallowed. Slowly, he lifted his hand up, giving her time to release her grasp. Then, being mindful of his claws, he cupped the side of the child's face in his palm. Absently, he stroked at her temple with his thumb, and she sighed and nuzzled into his touch. _I'm yours, remember?_ she seemed to be reminding him. _I will always be yours._

There _had_ to be a way.

Moving his hand, the demon patted the little girl on her head before he stood up and turned around. "Let's go," he commanded, and with a cheerful shout she was at his heels once more.

He would find a way, so she wouldn't have to die.

888

It took him years to devise a plan. What he needed was something like the Shikon no Tama, that wasn't an entity in and of itself. He needed something of Rin in it, to keep her from losing herself to whatever magic a sacred jewel held. The battle with Naraku in his honored father's grave provided him with a means to an end: Housenki.

Housenki had been a demon famed for crafting magic jewels. He had provided Inuyasha with the black pearl that resided in his eye, and held the gateway to his father's tomb. Housenki himself had died and taken up residence in said tomb, guarding it from any intruders. His son now ran the family business, under the same name. After Naraku had been killed, Sesshomaru decided to pay the demon a visit.

Rin came with him. From the beginning she knew it was a special trip, because Jakken stayed behind. She got to be carried by Sesshomaru-sama; just the two of them on an outing together. Rin couldn't stop smiling the whole way. Sesshomaru took this as further confirmation in his decision. This was the right thing for him to do. It would make him happy. It would make her happy, too.

He hoped.

She was absolutely thrilled to see the giant clam he lived in rise from the lake, then open to reveal the demon craftsman inside. Housenki was large and bulky, but did not look particularly threatening. With green skin and bulbous yellow eyes, he reminded Rin of Jakken somewhat. Knowing full well that she had come with Sesshomaru-sama so he could ask a favor on her part, she made a chain of daisies as long as Sesshomaru was tall in advance for thanks. The demon Housenki, who did not get out much, was instantly taken by the girl who took it upon herself to make a gift for him. Rin was just as tickled as she watched him drape it around and around his antlers, until he looked to have a giant crown of flowers. He was much more fun than Jakken, Rin decided. She was about to climb on his back, but Sesshomaru called her to his side, afraid that Housenki might not want to let the girl go, especially considering what he was about to ask of him.

"This Sesshomaru requires your services on behalf of this girl," he instructed sternly. "A jewel is needed, that would somehow prevent her from dying, yet not leave her as a soulless doll."

Housenki frowned. "I am still very new at all of this, Sesshomaru-sama," he explained, rubbing the back of his bare head. "Were my father still here, I would---"

"This Sesshomaru has every faith in your capabilities," the dog demon interrupted. "I will provide you with whatever means necessary in order to accomplish this task."

The craftsman blinked his large, yellow eyes slowly, mulling over his options. "It will take some time," he warned. "Granted, it will not take the centuries needed to craft some of my other jewels, but it will probably take a few years." He shrugged. "Two, three maybe. And that's if I get it right on the first try."

"This Sesshomaru will then see to it that you will not fail," the dog demon casually threatened. Housenki laughed nervously, and the matter seemed to be understood and resolved. Having straightened that out, other topics could be discussed. "What in the manner of supplies will you be needing?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Nothing that is not already available to me at this point," the demon jeweler replied confidently. "Eventually I will need you to bring the girl back, to add the finishing touches."

"Rin gets to see you again?" Rin cried jubilantly. Throughout the entire exchanged she had remained silent as she knelt by her master's side. But she just couldn't help herself. Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow at the girl. She blushed and covered her mouth with her hand. He had instructed her, countless times, on speaking out when he was conversing with other demons. Her precociousness would not always be seen as charming. Luckily, Housenki seemed to think it was.

"I'll have your present made in no time!" the jeweler exclaimed, clapping his large hands.

Sesshomaru stood, giving Rin the signal that it was time to go. She bowed politely, just as she'd been taught, then waited for her cue to follow.

"Send word when you are near finished," Sesshomaru instructed slowly. Housenki nodded, understanding the unstated threat that, should he be too long in sending a reply, Sesshomaru himself would come looking for it. And he wouldn't want that to happen. Satisfied with the transaction, Sesshomaru turned and walked away.

"Bye, Housenki-sama!" Rin cried, waving an arm as she trotted after her master. "Rin will bring more flowers the next time!"

And with that, the clam closed and descended once more into the depths of the lake.

"Rin," Sesshomaru requested, "tell me, how much of that did you understand?"

The girl grew excited, and danced around him as she talked. "Sesshomaru-sama is making Rin a present so she can live with him forever!"

"Is that…_agreeable_ with you?" he reluctantly asked. He'd never thought to ask her to begin with. She was the one who had first insisted on being with him forever; technically it was her idea he was acting upon. While he was sure she would say yes, he did not know if she understood the implications of "forever." It wouldn't change his mind in the end, no matter what her reply. He was too selfish to let her go now; she was _his_, indisputably.

Rin tugged on his right sleeve until she found his hand, then took it in her own. "I told you already, Sesshomaru," the ten-year-old stated, dropping the honorific for the first time and referring to herself in first person. She was serious, and she wanted him to know it. He was about to scold her for referring to him so familiarly, when she interrupted him. "I want to stay with you, _forever_," she explained, "because it would make me happy. But, what _I'd_ like to know is, would it make _you_ happy?"

The demon was taken aback. Had it actually come to this? Was he going to have to put into words his feelings for the girl? To admit he had feelings for her at all?

"Yes," be blurted awkwardly. He quickly lifted his head and found the sky particularly interesting. Rin squeezed his hand, then let go.

"Just checking," she sang. As if she'd known the answer all along.

888

Soon after Rin turned thirteen, Housenki sent word for them to return.

"It's a pearl!" Rin exclaimed, clapping her hands with delight. "It's a beautiful, beautiful pearl!"

"Thought she'd like it," Housenki proudly beamed, antlers decorated once again with daisies. "Took me a few months extra, but it was worth it, I think."

Sesshomaru scowled. "Pretty" and "functional" were two different things, and he was only concerned with the latter of the two.

"How does it work?" Rin asked, setting the pearl on the table and turning towards its maker.

Housenki smiled. "Ah, that's the tricky part," he said, suddenly rushing to search through a box of tools. He found one and quickly hid it up his sleeve, before returning back to where Rin stood. "It still needs a piece of you in it, to work," he explained.

"A piece of me?" she asked dubiously.

Housenki nodded. Gently, he reached out and grasped the girl's arm in one hand. "Hold still," he instructed. His other hand rose up, revealing a dagger to be up his sleeve. Rin shrieked.

In seconds the jeweler had released the girl, and was dangling from the air, struggling to breathe in the grip of the Western Lord.

"Please!" he begged. "I didn't mean to scare her!" He coughed as the fingers steadily tightened. "It's all part…of the process! I need…her soul for it to…work."

"Then find another way!" Sesshomaru shouted angrily. He could hear Rin still trembling, but sensed that no real harm had come to her. He squeezed harder, enraged that this creature had _dared_ to raise a hand against his Rin.

"There is no other way!" Housenki gasped, clawing at his neck for a reprieve. "I…can explain…if you just…let go!"

Rin had stood up and was hiding somewhat behind Sesshomaru. Satisfied that she would be safe and in his reach, the dog demon sneered as he tossed his prey to the floor. "Quickly," he barked.

The jeweler hacked and wheezed air in and out of his lungs, trying to combat the dizziness he was feeling. Flowers were falling all over the place, and he shook his head a few times to be completely rid of them.

Stumbling to his feet, he rubbed his sore neck and cleared his throat. His voice came out in a heavy breath. "Her soul will be removed, with your help of course. It was so easy, once I realized that you still carried the Tenseiga with you," he said, smiling proudly. "She dies, and at the exact moment you revive her, I will extract her soul and place it in the pearl, which should be worn on her person at all times. It will be a _living_ soul, free from any enchantment that would taint it. There should be no change in her appearance, demeanor, or physicality whatsoever. As long as no harm comes to the pearl, then no harm shall come to her."

"What does that mean?" Sesshomaru growled.

"It means," Housenki explained excitedly, "she'll slowly stop aging, and live forever. Or, at least as long as the pearl stays intact. It will have to be kept safe." The demon picked up his creation and held it up for Sesshomaru's inspection. "Think of it," he grinned triumphantly, "she'll still be as she is now. Not an animated corpse, but a living body that is still tied to a soul. Just in a different location. She won't have to sacrifice anything."

Sesshomaru took the pearl into his hand. This was exactly what he'd had in mind; in essence, granting her the longevity and immunity that came naturally to a demon. But she would still be human. She would still be Rin.

But in order for this to happen…

The girl had a hold on his empty sleeve, using it to hide her body from Housenki's view. She was still shaken up after being come at with a knife, and didn't seem too keen on having it happen again. Sesshomaru frowned. No. There had to be another way. He couldn't let her die again.

"As miraculous as this all sounds," he calmly stated, "this Sesshomaru cannot willingly condone the process that is needed to bring it about."

Housenki frowned. "But, I worked on other methods," he begged, "I tried other jewels. This is the only one that I can get to work. And if it doesn't work, the Tenseiga can bring her back and we can try again. I assure you, she will not suffer needlessly."

"She should not have to suffer at all," Sesshomaru snarled.

"Try to understand, my lord," the jeweler balked.

"There is nothing more to be said!" the dog demon roared.

"HEY!"

Startled, both demons turned to see Rin standing with her fists clenched determinedly. "Don't I get a say in this?" she snapped. "It's MY decision to make, and not yours." Her eyes glared at Housenki, and then Sesshomaru, challenging either of them to try and say otherwise. "I know exactly what I'm doing with this, and I know what will happen if I do. _I'm not a child anymore_."

The words pierced the dog demon's heart like a needle; the pain was ever so subtle, but precise. Sesshomaru straightened his posture, and calmly handed the pearl over to Rin. She cradled it in her palms, and seemed to become completely mesmerized by it. After a long moment of silence, she lifted her head and looked to her lord.

"You do it," she mumbled.

Sesshomaru blinked.

Housenki's jaw dropped. "Excuse me?" he said incredulously.

"You do it," Rin blurted louder, jabbing her hands towards Sesshomaru. "I don't want him to touch me."

Housenki lowered his head sheepishly. Forgiveness was a pipe dream. A vision of himself, floating in the lake in tiny pieces flashed before his eyes; in the background of it all stood an enraged dog demon and a frightened child. He wiped the sweat from his brow, carrying away the remainder of the daisies.

Sesshomaru felt his head start to swim. _Kill Rin?_ How could she ask that of him? He wouldn't even know how to go about doing it. In all his experience, he'd never once killed anyone keeping their personal comfort in mind. Even if it was quick, it had to be excruciatingly painful.

He found himself stammering like an idiot. "I…cannot. I wouldn't know…how to…without…"

"It's okay," Rin cooed softly, placing her hand on his chest. Sesshomaru shuddered. She'd never touched him so intimately before, and it made him slightly uncomfortable. No, that wasn't right. Her touch was soothing; it was the situation that was uncomfortable. She was looking right at him, and he found it near impossible to keep eye-contact.

"You do it," she repeated, "please. For me. For us."

_Us?_ There was an "us"? As in a collective sense, and not individual? As in, Sesshomaru and Rin, together forever? Wasn't that what he'd wanted all along? What she'd wanted, too? _Yes_. Would he be foolish enough to throw it away, on the eve of achieving their collective dream?

_Maybe._

Sesshomaru held out his hand to his side, never taking his eyes off Rin. "Give me the dagger," he asked Housenki calmly. The jewel-maker obliged with trembling hands, ever at the ready to make a run for it if the demon lord turned out to be merely joking. To Sesshomaru's embarrassment, his hands were shaking just as much as he took the tool into his own grasp.

Rin laughed dryly. She turned her back and walked slowly towards the demon, until she felt the resistance of his body stop her. Her whole body was shivering, but she managed to look directly up at him and smile. "Just like you taught me," she quavered.

The demon lord placed his hand on top of the girl's head, exposing her neck. She closed her eyes, and before he could convince himself that what he was about to do was _wrong_, he slit her throat.

Rin let out a wet cough, and continued to make gurgling noises as she fell to the floor. _Ah yes, I remember this_, she thought darkly. Now she would fall face down in a steadily growing puddle of her own blood. Now she would feel her lungs start to fill with fluid, from having her esophagus cut. Now she would start to feel the cold stabbing through her body. It hurt like nothing else she had ever felt; it was kind of ironic to her, how she had spent her whole life working to see that she never felt this pain again. And here she was, doing just that, only for the purpose of never feeling that pain for a _third_ time. She couldn't hear anything, and her vision was blurred with tears and blood. For a second, she thought she might be crying, until she tried to breathe and found that her lungs were completely useless. Now the darkness would start to fall. Now the fear would settle in.

She wanted to _scream_. She wanted to take it all back. _It wasn't worth it!_ she'd cry out, and they would heal her right away. But the urge to fall asleep was overpowering her senses, and she was fighting tooth and nail against it. _What if I don't wake up? What if Sesshomaru leaves me?_ The fear shot up her spine into her skull, rendering her completely void of thought. She could still feel; the pain was crushing her steadily into oblivion. Her body shuddered as the gaping maw of Death sealed around her, taking her away from him.

_Forever_, the voice threatened, rows of fangs glinting in an unholy light. She despaired, and died.

Sesshomaru jerked away and was coughing in dry heaves. The smell burned the tissues on the inside of his nose and made his eyes go dry. It was the _worst_ thing any of his senses had ever taken in. His stomach was revolting against him, trying to empty itself with spastic jerks of revulsion from his gut. He was the fucking Lord of the fucking Western Lands and he was about to lose his lunch over a fucking little girl! That idea alone kept him in control somewhat, but he could not stop the nausea, cold sweat, and ache the smell was causing in him.

He looked to her, and then quickly had to look away again. Rin's flesh was bluish-gray, totally void of the familiar rosy stain that always colored her cheeks. Her blood was everywhere it seemed; her chestnut hair was practically soaking wet with it. It was just too much to take in.

The demon lord attempted to regain his composure. Quickly, he turned to Housenki and drew the Tenseiga. The jeweler was holding a clay pot painted with scribbles of words over every square inch. His hand was on the lid, and he looked as if he was ready to jump.

"This _will_ work," Sesshomaru gritted furiously. _And if it doesn't_, the growled in his mind, _the gods themselves will have to avert their eyes in terror from what I will do to you_.

Housenki gulped. "Ready?" he squeaked.

Sesshomaru nodded. Exhaling slowly, he set his stance and narrowed his eyes. Gradually, through a slight mist, the minions of the underworld appeared around Rin's body, preparing to bind her for the journey. How _dare_ they touch her! His knuckles whitened with his grip on the sword, and he sliced through the mist in a powerful arc. The minions shrieked as they fell apart, crumbling back into the retreating fog. Satisfied, he re-sheathed the sword; Housenki was immediately crouched over the girl, holding the pot open. A brilliant white light flashed, and was quickly doused inside the depths of the clay vessel. The craftsman then darted over to the table where the pearl was sitting, anxious to complete the process.

Timidly, Sesshomaru bent to one knee, and scooped his arm under Rin. She was still covered in her own blood, but her body was warm. Her skin flared with color once more. Turning her over and bracing her against his leg, the wound on her neck had completely vanished.

Sesshomaru sighed, feeling whatever it was that had been clenching his heart release.

Rin was dizzy, and her head throbbed painfully when she felt her body being lifted upright. Her mind was muzzy; had she been asleep? Was the visit to Housenki merely a dream? _No_, she remembered, _I died._ A hand was rubbing light circles against her back. She smiled; it felt so nice. Blinking her eyes open, she saw Sesshomaru.

_Hey_, she thought, laughing, _I remember this_._ Don't quite mind having to this part over._

He was looking at her with such intensity, she almost felt frightened. Had something gone wrong? Was she in some kind of danger? Frantically, she tried to stand, but found her limbs to be uncooperative. This was something new. Previously, when she had been revived the first time, she had no problem getting to her feet and walking within mere moments. Now she felt weak, and bogged down by some invisible weight.

She opened her mouth to say his name, and only breath came out.

"Oh good," Housenki chirped, suddenly appearing in her field of vision. He paced to her side, where he squatted and held onto one of her hands. "It's going to take some getting used to, I'm afraid," he apologized. "Your body is alive, but it lacks the vital energy that your soul provides. But you'll be on your feet soon," he added, patting her hand. "It won't be long until you'll regain that energy."

Sesshomaru grasped her a little more tightly, hoping to support her better. It had been futile to hope otherwise, but his hands and clothes were soaked and stained with her blood from holding her. It smelled rotten, and putrid, still threatening to turn his stomach. But at least he could scent Rin's regular fragrance mingled along with the stench. She was alive, blessedly alive. But had it worked?

Housenki had previously been smiling absently at the girl while he stroked her hand. Feeling the glare of the demon lord upon him, he jolted and suddenly remembered what he had been doing in the first place. "Here," he said nervously, eyes darting between Sesshomaru and Rin. Uncurling his free hand, he revealed the pearl to them once more. It now glowed with a faint white light of its own, and gave a strange but distinct aura all around it. The jeweler had already done Rin the courtesy of fixing it to a metal chain, and carefully moved to put it about her neck. Once the clasp was sealed and the pearl was safely resting on her skin, Rin heaved a tired sigh and smiled.

"It worked," Housenki sighed as well, more relieved than anything. He'd escape death to be sure; whether or not a sound beating remained in his future was yet to be determined.

It was then Sesshomaru realized that he was breathing quite heavily, on account that his mouth was dry as paper. Working up enough saliva to wet his lips, he rasped, "Are you well?"

"Ah," Rin replied, smiling bravely. Raising a hand in the air, she wiggled her fingers around back up her statement. Then she shifted her weight in an attempt to stand on her feet. Grunting, she pitched forward onto all fours. Sesshomaru rose himself and took a step back to give her room. It was almost comical to watch, were it not so genuinely frustrating for the girl; she was not sure of what her next move would be. After a moment of swaying and lifting up one hand, then the other, she raised her backside into the air and straightened her legs. Then she walked forward towards her hands and used them to vault herself upright. Immediately, she wobbled and pitched, ready to fall again.

Sesshomaru steadied her without hesitation. Whatever fears had been allayed were now back in full force from seeing this weakened display.

"I'll be alright," Rin whined indignantly. "I'm just a little dizzy is all, I'm a big girl."

Sesshomaru rolled his eyes. She would be fine. He let go.

Housenki darted his eyes about nervously, hesitant to speak. "My lord?" he squeaked.

The dog demon turned and raised an eyebrow impatiently.

The jeweler laughed, chattering his teeth between breaths. "The, uh, I was wondering about…well, in regards to payment---"

"You will receive it before the week is ended," the Western Lord replied smoothly. "This Sesshomaru always pays his debts."

"Oh, but of course I wasn't implying that you _wouldn't_ pay! I just, was, um, uncertain as to when?" Every second that Sesshomaru remained in his home, Housenki's life-span shortened another decade, give or take. Much to his relief, the demon didn't seem that interested in sticking around to further his intimidation; he and the girl were already turned and on their way out.

Rin looked back over her shoulder and called out to the craftsman. "Thank you, Housenki-sama! Sorry 'bout the mess!" Then she laughed, as if what she had said was terribly funny, instead of just terrible.

As the clam closed and began its gradual descent back to the lakebed, Housenki shook his head. A powerful demon brought to his knees by a human girl. And now, they stood to face eternity together.

"Remember what you just saw today, old man," he said aloud to himself. "You're not likely to see anything near like it for the rest of your days."

888

As soon as safely possible, Seshomaru insisted that they bathe. The stale odor of Rin's blood on their clothes and bodies was making him ill. He hastily deposited her upstream beside a nearby river, before vanishing downstream to purge himself of her death.

Neither of them had the luxury of soap or a change of clothes; what they had on would just have to do, so long as it was thoroughly rinsed. Before his hasty retreat in order to grant them both privacy, Sesshomaru instructed Rin to come downstream when she was finished. He planned on setting up camp and staying the night in the woods; the day had just been too trying, and his nerves were nearly shot with all that had transpired. She agreed, and waded out to begin soaking.

The water was cold, but not uncomfortable. She did not bother removing her clothes for the first dip; she walked into the lake up to her neck and let the water saturate everything. Her hair was the hardest to come clean. Even after she had rinsed the blood's stains from her chestnut tresses, her scalp was caked with dried blood. Using her fingernails, she scoured her head until it was numb. Of course, now that her hair was clean, her hands were filthy. Rin frowned. This was going to take some time.

Wading back out, she removed her kimono and looked at it for the first time. It was hopelessly ruined, but it wasn't one she was particularly attached to. She wouldn't miss it. Dutifully, she wrung out the fabric, soaked it in the river, and repeated the process until the water that dripped from her robe was free of brown tinge. That being done, she opened the kimono out and laid it on the grass to dry in what was left of the steadily sinking sun, then turned back to the lake to set about finishing her bath.

It wasn't until then that she noticed how…neutral she felt. The water stung her with its chill upon first entering it, and the air gave her goose bumps whenever she got out, but both were only for mere seconds. After that, she felt nothing; that is, no discomfort from the adverse conditions of the environment. It was as if her sense of pain had ceased functioning properly. _I'm weaker than I thought_, she mourned. Helplessness was not something she coped well with.

When her body was pink with blush instead of blood, she surfaced from the water and put her clothes back on. The fabric was still a bit damp, but it would have to be dealt with; night was steadily falling. Sesshomaru would probably come looking for her if she delayed much longer. She'd never seen him so upset and it bothered her right down to her bones. He might pop a vein if she gave him another cause to worry. Tying her robe shut as she ran, Rin anxiously returned to her lord.

The pearl bounced against her chest as she trotted along. It was a new sensation, and yet somehow familiar. It felt heavy, and yet like nothing at all. As if it was an extension of herself, like another limb. It…would take some getting used to. Right now, though, after all that had happened she wasn't in the mood to ponder on it any further than that.

Sesshomaru had chosen a well covered little clearing in the woods for their camp. Already, he had a fire going and a rabbit skinned, speared, and cooking. Instinct told him that Rin needed physical nourishment. While she seemed to be fully recovered, he could not shake from his mind how fragile she had felt when she'd woken up. Healed or no, she needed food to get her strength back.

He smelled her before he saw her. She still reeked of blood, but her own scent was much stronger and thus made it more bearable. He could hear her teeth chattering softly; no doubt her time spent in the water had nearly frozen her body solid. When she came into view, the possessive demon critically examined her with every sense available. Other than being cold, and her clothes being damp, she was fine. He sighed softly, and settled back against the log behind him; a log from a tree that he cut down, specifically so he would have a log to lean back on.

Rin smiled, then sat close to the fire, immediately noticing the rabbit.

"Wait a bit longer," Sesshomaru suggested, knowing full well that she wouldn't.

The girl clucked her tongue in defiance and pulled the stick the rabbit was on from the ground. She eyed it over, then sneered at her companion. "There's still some fur on it," she pouted playfully. Worrying him was out of the question; irritating him though…At least it served to lighten the mood.

The demon snorted indignantly, and tossed his hair. The message Rin read from that was, _I'd like to see you do better._

She grinned impishly before opening her mouth wide and tearing a large piece of meat off the carcass. It burned her tongue with the first bite, but the pain was gone by the second. It wasn't gourmet, but it was hot and filling. She ate as much as she could before throwing the remains in the fire. Wouldn't do to have predators sniffing around any leftover meat in the woods.

He watched her eat, satisfied that he had taken care of her enough. Except, she was still cold it seemed. Teeth were still chattering lightly, and she shivered occasionally.

"You are cold," he stated blandly.

"No I'm not," Rin replied.

Sesshomaru frowned. "Do not lie to me; you're not impressing anyone." He didn't need her trying to be a brave little soldier when she was still a wounded little girl.

Rin furrowed her eyebrows. "I'm not lying," she snapped. "I'm just fine."

"You are shivering."

"I…," she looked and saw it to be true. "I am, aren't I. Huh. Funny, I don't feel cold."

"Your clothes are still wet." Did he have to make every obvious point known to her? Why was she being so stubborn? Had she reverted back to childhood, and was he to teach her everything all over again?

The girl shook her head apologetically. "I know; there wasn't much I could do about that. I'm trying to dry myself by the fire." As if to prove her statement true, she scooted closer to the flames.

This wouldn't do. There was no way she'd be dry before she fell asleep. Sleeping in wet clothes would only make her sick, and having that in addition to killing her on his conscience would about send him off the deep end. Quickly pulling his shirt off, he tossed it at the girl. It landed over her unsuspecting head, draping limply over her body.

"Change," he ordered. When she removed the covering from her head, he nodded off to his left, indicating that she should go into the woods.

While Rin wasn't particularly uncomfortable in her wet clothes, she wasn't comfortable either. The shirt was warm, dry, and soft. Nodding, she obediently rose and made her way into the thicket ahead.

When she came back, Sesshomaru held out his hand for her kimono. Taking it from her, he laid it flat by the fire, then leaned back and hooked his right arm and what was left of his left behind the log. Rin had never gotten a good look at the damage he bore, inflicted by Inuyasha so long ago. While he wasn't exactly self-conscious of it (Why should he care?), he wasn't about to go showing it off, either.

The shirt swallowed Rin. It put into perspective better on how much smaller she was compared to the demon. Standing, its length trailed to her mid-calf. It could have been a house robe, were it not fine silk, and if the sleeves did not extend an extra length past her arm. When she had first wrapped it around herself, she giggled. _I look ridiculous, but at least I'm dry_, she thought happily. The girl dutifully resumed her seat across from her master, wrapping the extra fabric around her body until only her head was visible.

Silence ticked by.

Normally, Rin would find something to annoy Sesshomaru about during long silences. But the realization was settling in of how she had just died, been resurrected, and made immortal. Poking fun had absolutely no appeal now. She just wanted to withdraw into herself, and fall asleep. Yet sleep was still far from her grasp, due to the still throbbing adrenaline rush that jerked her body awake. So she sat staring blankly into the fire, clutching onto the pearl from inside her clothes, and waiting for…something.

In the flickering light, she could see a gradual picture of Sesshomaru by the fire: his chest in full detail, and as the light faded, shadows of his arms and face. Rin noticed for the first time that he had additional markings than those on his face and wrist. Broad magenta stripes in two pairs followed the curve of his ribcage into the center seam of his chest. A shiver went down her spine. It was so easy to forget that he was a demon. To her, he had always been Sesshoamru-sama. Her hero. Her champion. Her savior. And that was all he was, because anything else did not matter to her. Now confronted with a full view of his broad shoulders, solid and well-built torso, and vibrant natural markings, she could no longer keep him in the realm of little girl fantasy. He was a demon. He killed people.

He had killed her, today.

But, he had also saved her. He had saved her from both of her deaths, just as easily as he could have left her. Sesshomaru was well-known for hating humans, yet seemed absolutely determined to keep Rin in his company. Until today, she had never really questioned why.

She knew why she followed him. Rin needed him, to help herself survive, but there was more to it than that. When she had first seen him, bleeding and (as she had interpreted it) scared in the forest, she just knew she had lost her way in those woods that day for a reason. Even though he refused her help, healing rapidly on his own, he did not once turn her away. He never _looked_ at her, but she knew he was always watching her when she visited. When he finally did talk to her, he expressed concern for her well-being while trying to appear aloof and disinterested. He seemed to be just as intrigued about her as she was about him. An odd sense of respect passed between them.

But it was in saving her life that she knew she was destined to be at his side. Why else would he do it? What other than fate could have motivated a demon lord to resurrect an orphaned human? Anyone else, and he would have walked on, or even might have had a hand in killing them. But not her. He raised her up, and her life was tied to his. They both seemed to realize it, as they stared at each other in stunned silence in the moments after her rebirth. She understood the rules, and would obey them. And that was why she followed him. That is why she still followed him. That is why she sacrificed her mortality to be with him forever.

Who was she to question fate?

Noticing her eyes were beginning to itch and droop, Rin curled herself up on the ground close to the fire, but at an angle that she could still see him. Just as always, he wasn't looking at her, but he was still watching. Rin rolled her eyes. Sometimes, his high and mighty attitude really wore on her nerves. As long as they'd known each other, and as much as they'd been through, why he never seemed to lower his guard to have a simple conversation with her was truly frustrating at times. Like now, with him hiding his left arm behind that log. She knew it was gone; she'd known it when she had first gotten close to him in the woods. Vanity or pride was making him behave like this, and she almost wanted to laugh at how silly it all was. In fact, she did start to giggle.

At which Sesshomaru cocked his head to the side, but still made no eye-contact with her.

"That must be uncomfortable," she said with a knowing smile.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, that must be uncomfortable. With your arm, I mean. It doesn't look very relaxing anyway."

The demon raised his fingers up from behind the log in defiance of the girl's supposition. If he wasn't a nobleman, and if she wasn't a little girl, he would have been tempted to accentuate his point more clearly with a rude gesture. Indeed, he was quite tempted to when she began softly laughing again.

"What?" he gritted.

Rin sighed. "Not that one. The _other_ arm."

At this statement he did make eye-contact to see if she'd gone mad and was babbling complete nonsense. Lying down like she was, she could even be talking in her sleep. But she was smiling at him with her lips and eyes, and he knew the curiosity she expressed was serious. But what was even stranger was as much as his mind was offended with her brazen words, his body relaxed and shifted to pull both arms back to his sides. And then she could see it; that stump, that reminder of his defeat which he would carry until the end of his days. Self-consciousness flared through his nerves, and his right hand twitched to cross his chest and cover up what he could on his left. But he would not show her shame. Why he felt it to begin with confused him enough as it was.

She looked at him quietly for awhile. Then she opened her mouth, and shyly asked, "Does it ever hurt?"

Sesshoumaru looked to his left arm then, suspicious of how it must appear to the girl. Pursing his lips, he shook his head, but did not look at her.

Then Rin did the strangest thing. She sat up, and smiled warmly. "Good," she laughed softly, "I'm glad." And then she turned her body away from him and lay back down to fall asleep.

Sesshomaru stayed awake all night.

888

In the morning, when she groggily shoved her hand into the smoldering embers of the campfire, they learned why she had not felt the cold during the night.

Initially, she cried out and cradled her injured palm close, bracing herself for the gradual increase of the pain. But it never came. In fact, it started to fade almost immediately.

Sesshomaru of course was at her side and fighting to inspect the damage. When he'd managed to wrench her hand away, he was shocked to find there was no evidence of any sort of burn anywhere on the skin. Confused, he felt the coals for himself, finding they were indeed hot enough to cause some damage. They both looked at her palm, dumbstruck, for what seemed to be a long time. Randomly, they both raised their eyes to each other. It seemed that their thoughts were on the same page, for when Sesshomaru raised a clawed finger above Rin's hand, she nodded. He didn't scratch deep; only enough to bleed. Rin hissed at the initial contact but furrowed her eyebrows when the stinging quickly vanished. With his thumb, Sesshomaru rubbed down the path of the scrape, wiping away the blood. Her skin was clean underneath. No evidence of any sort of blemish remained.

The human girl looked to her demon lord with fearful excitement. She wasn't just immortal. She was nearly invincible; only demons could heal that quickly.

Sesshomaru didn't care when he noticed his hand was trembling.


	3. Chapter 3

_The Pearl_

Disclaimer: Do I look like I'd lie to you?

Chapter Three

_You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question_. --Albert Camus, _The Fall_

_It's a sort of bloom on a woman. If you have it, you don't need to have anything else; and if you don't have it, it doesn't much matter what else you have._ --James M. Barrie

888888

"Why Sesshomaru-sama!" the Lady Mieko exclaimed. "I did not know you were also fond of rice-dumplings!"

Sesshomaru wanted to drive a stake through his skull. He _hated_ meetings. _Loathed_ them. He spent the entire duration fighting back homicidal urges. Normally, Jakken took care of any business matters that came up within the Western Lands. But passing treaties and trade agreements was how an empire stayed strong, and could only be done by Sesshomaru himself. He only wished the noblemen hadn't insisted on bringing the noble_women_ with them.

Ever since he was a child, he had wanted _more_. More rice-dumplings. More time to stay up with his father. More embraces from his mother. More weapons, more armor, more soldiers, more vassals, more land, and _more power_. It was an unquenchable thirst; power was something with he was well acquainted and yet also never satisfied.

The Eastern Lands were within his grasp. By the end of the evening, he knew the papers would be signed and sealed, forfeit only on his own death. His life was the one thing that the dog demon had ultimate control over, and could barter with a clear conscience. Sesshomaru planned on living for a long, long time.

But right now, he was in danger of dying from boredom.

Lord Takeda was inconsolable from the loss of his son. In the demon world, "inconsolable" did not mean, "bereft with grief." It meant, "belligerent and vengeful beyond all get out." He wanted blood, and he wasn't too particular on whose it would be. Yes, he wanted the assassin dead, but he wasn't abject to the idea of slaying an army or two from the South. This is exactly what Sesshomaru had banked on; the circumstances couldn't have been more in his favor if he'd planned them himself.

The messenger from the South, who had stayed with the young prince on the eve before his death, had gone missing. There was nothing that could convince Lord Takeda of his innocence in the murder. Even if the messenger was found buried in the deep forest by the castle, killed by someone lying in wait just for him in order to strike the castle and raise suspicion that the South was to blame. Theoretically, of course.

Naturally, the Western Lands had offered its deepest condolences, and their assurance that this new threat would be found and brought to justice. However, the South was an ally of the West, and to turn against them in war would be unspeakable. But at the price of a sizeable plot of land, the Western Lord would be agreeable to mediating between the two. This was where the plan became a burden for Sesshomaru. He was basically reducing himself to a messenger boy, carrying insults and threats back and forth between the lands. This was the type of work he kept Jakken for. But if he could play it right, the anger between the two lands would escalate beyond all hope of civil negotiation. Naturally, as the neutral party of the three, the Western Lands would withdraw from the scene, leaving the South and the East free to obliterate one another on the battlefield. In their weakened state, they would be no match for the Western army, which would sweep in, kill any survivors, and take control of both lands. The Sesshomaru-sama empire would be complete. Sort of.

There was of course the matter of the Northern Lands. That territory belonged to the various and sundry wolf clans. While they were not particularly stronger than any other demon, they bred and multiplied in dizzying numbers. One army would not be enough to wipe them all out. But three armies would. So until Sesshomaru had settled his affairs in the South and East, the North remained untouched.

Besides, he wasn't about to send Rin there.

So here he was now, sharing dinner with the noblest of the nobles from the East. And Lady Mieko, a butterfly demon, seemed to have the idea that Sesshomaru needed to be unwelcomingly seduced in addition to being bored to death. She was twirling her long pink hair around her finger as she prattled on about food, or something. For having just lost her older brother, she seemed rather calm and collected. Of course, having just been named the new heir to the Eastern Lands in lieu of there being no remaining males in the direct line may have had something to do with it. Lord Takeda had no siblings to offer any male children of the same blood, which was common among the highest houses. Siblings were potential murderers, who would go out of their way to see themselves seated on the throne by eliminating the obstacles of their family. Setsuna had a sibling only because he was clearly weak from birth, and his death wouldn't have been too much of a tragedy if he had a strong brother. He had a strong sister instead. The boy was grudgingly allowed to keep his birth-right.

Lady Mieko laughed at a joke she had apparently told. Sesshomaru blinked, and wondered if he would ruin his chances at this treaty by telling the little twit to shut up. It might be something Takeda would understand. How did he ever put up with her at home? He seemed like a brutal leader, with his heavy eyebrows, short but thick gray hair, and black eyes. His wings were the darkest shade of blue that they almost appeared to be black. His body was short and stocky, but his arms and legs were broad from muscle. To the meeting he wore black clothes in respect for his dead son, and his armor: a breastplate, sleeves of steel from his knuckles to his elbows, as well as around his shins.

Of course, Lord Takeda was doing nothing to discourage his daughter's behavior, which also wasn't helping. After all, it would be a binding way to reinforce the alliance between the East and West if they were to marry. Naturally Takeda would be bestowed with ultimate authority over both lands and armies. Sesshomaru would undoubtedly sire an heir of his own, to be given the joined lands one day. It would bring an end to the House of the Dogs; its power and wealth would be annexed into the new kingdom, and its influences would be forgotten.

But Sesshomaru did not appear to be interested in Mieko in the least bit. Did he even like women? Takeda had to wonder; the Western Lord kept so much to himself, it was hard to imagine him liking anyone at all. Maybe it would be better if the princess stuck to marrying within her own clan. At least he'd know what to expect with a son-in-law like that.

"Mieko," Takeda called.

The woman looked up, batting her pink eyelashes coyly. Her yellow eyes widened and dimmed to a warmer shade. Sesshomaru wanted to puke. It was supposed to be an emulation of a baby animal, he guessed. Considering that he found certain species of baby animals to be quite delectable, the effect was not having its intended results. Did Rin look this stupid when she put on this kind of show? No, she couldn't.

"Why don't you join the other ladies in the garden," the lord coaxed. "We're about to begin our negotiations." There, threaten her with boredom.

The princess frowned. She looked to Sesshomaru and sighed sadly. "I'm afraid I must leave you then to your business," she mourned. But then she brightened her expression. "I will be in the garden when you are finished, Sesshomaru-sama," she cheerfully offered. "I would love for you to give me a tour of your grounds."

"No you wouldn't," muttered Takeda. Mieko sniffed indignantly at her father, but put on her biggest smile for Sesshomaru once more, before standing and parting. Fully upright, she extended her pink and orange colored wings, imitating the flutter of her eyelashes. Then she moved forward, trailing layers of yellow brocade behind her.

Sesshomaru felt the burden of forced interest fall from around his neck.

"Wait for a moment, Mieko. General Shouji," Lord Takeda called out. "Escort my daughter to the gardens, if you would."

From across the room, a young demon soldier stood at attention. Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes. He'd hoped the general would stay for the talks. He needed a feel for his personality, and needed to sniff out any potential weaknesses. Rin didn't like going into a situation blindly, and he did not like sending her into one. Shouji was a crucial piece in further tainting relations between East and South. Specifically, he needed to die in order to be effective to Sesshomaru's plans.

From the look of him, he had been born wearing armor, and cut his teeth on the first man he killed. Hardcore soldier, through and through. Broad shoulders, chiseled features, the obligatory scar across the face, blue eyes and a long braid of black hair. The braid spoke of his youth, and of his vanity somewhat. He was more than just a dumb grunt, at least. But Sesshomaru could not discern much else, because the lady and the general were quickly out the door. This was going to be difficult. He needed something more that Rin could work with. He'd have to sequester the man later.

Sesshomaru rose to his feet, signaling everyone else in the room to do the same. With a simple hand gesture, he was leading them from the large dining room, through the corridor into his main hall. There, he seated himself at the head, while his guests filed into two separate parallel lines and sat, facing each other. Lord Takeda was seated by Sesshomaru's immediate right, flanked by his scribe and his personal advisor. On the left sat the general in command of the Eastern armies, followed down the line by a string of lesser generals. Except of course, for General Shouji.

"This Sesshomaru trusts that you are well acquainted with the conditions and requirements of the proposed treaty," the dog demon began.

"All but one, and this Takeda is not about to bend to it," the Eastern Lord huffed. "You promised no justice on behalf of the Eastern Lands should this murdering villain be found to be from the South. They are your ally, and that is all the more reason to enforce discipline with them."

Sesshomaru furrowed his brow. "It is not the responsibility of the Western Lands to judge the affairs between the East and South, alliance or no. The grievance you bear is yours alone. Any justice sought is your sole right and responsibility."

"All the same," Takeda argued, "the West should still exact some form of punishment, as a warning against further misdemeanors. After all, if you fail to show them any disapproval of their actions, they may just as well bring the same to your door."

Sesshomaru snorted. "They would be sentencing themselves to death were that to occur."

"You would not be so confident had you just lost a son," Lord Takeda rumbled angrily.

_And you would not be so indignant were your army as strong as mine_, Sesshomaru thought. "Barring that omission," the dog demon rebutted, "are the terms to your approval?"

Takeda nodded. "Hai. I must admire you, for I would not be as willing to offer my life as leverage in the agreement. You stand to leave your heirs with nothing upon your death, were you to have any."

Sesshomaru was almost certain that the comment was meant to emasculate him. He sneered. "This Sesshomaru has a skilled and powerful army to take care of. It is only maintained as well as it is because there is little to distract my attentions from it."

The moth demon grunted and spread his midnight blue wings. "That may be," he almost yelled, "but there is also the threat to your life to consider. How trusting of you to assume that you will not be killed once the conditions of our agreement are carried through."

At this, Sesshomaru bowed shortly, in a mocking display of respect. "This Sesshomaru views you, Takeda-sama, as an honorable man, and has every reason to trust his life with you."

Takeda ruffled himself a little but seemed pleased. "As this Takeda trusts you, Sesshomaru-sama, to be honest enough to hold to his promise."

The dog demon faked a smile. "Then we are agreed," he concluded.

Takeda nodded. "My scribe will sign and seal whatever papers necessary," he said, waving his hand as if everything that had just transpired was inconsequential. "This Takeda and his accompaniment will depart for the East in the evening."

Sesshomaru was both thankful and loathsome. He rose to his feet, and the rest of the room followed suit. "Then this palace is at your disposal until then," he offered. "I must escort your scribe then to my study and see that everything is taken care of. You must excuse my absence for the time being." With that, he nodded to said scribe, turned, and left the room.

While Jakken had his uses, it was times like this that Sesshomaru was glad he had the foresight enough to exclude the toad from his business affairs. The little imp, as hard as he worked to serve his master, had the propensity to open his mouth at the most inopportune times. Though it would dearly please Sesshomaru to hear the Eastern Lord belittled by a squawking frog, it would not be the wisest tactic in forging a political relationship. So today, Jakken was sequestered in the study, buried under paperwork.

As for his other "faithful servant," she was staying with General Kyoshii and Takako-san outside of the palace grounds. It would not do for her to be discovered, for many reasons. It was common knowledge among the lands that the Western Lord had raised and kept a human girl under his care. Of course, none had ever seen her in the interest of her protection. It would not be wise to personally introduce rivals to one's potential weakness. Now the safety of her identity took on a whole new level. Technically, she was a wanted criminal. Were she to be discovered, hell would be unleashed on the West.

He worried for her now, all the same. Every moment that she was away from his reach, he worried. Her safety was his responsibility, even though she was well trained to protect herself. Rin was far too important to lose. The future of his empire hinged on her success. In that way, she was both his greatest strength, and his greatest weakness.

Jakken and the Eastern scribe were left to their paper arguments. Sesshomaru pinched the bridge of his nose, suddenly tired. He was halfway tempted to just go to bed, and wake up to find everyone gone. That would be a pleasant thing. But duty called him to be a good and proper host. To the garden was he then banished, sentenced to tread through a sea of meaningless chatter. However, the young General Shouji was out there. That would be enough to keep the dog demon interested. Rin needed as much information as she could get. And as long as Mieko didn't leech on him again, Sesshomaru might even find the afternoon to be tolerable.

Steeling himself, Sesshomaru walked to the courtyard and put on his best air of social diplomacy. It was going to be hard to hold back from beating some of them into a bloody pulp. _Manners_, he chided himself. _Don't forget your manners_.

Opening the doors, Sesshomaru bit his tongue and stepped into the crowd.

888888

Rin could have come home much sooner, but Takako-san had been especially talkative. It was Rin's fault really, for not visiting all that often anymore. Now that she had her work, most of her time was spent training in the dojo or alone. And talking to a friend felt so good—hell, just hearing another female's voice felt good. Having spent so much of her life around soldiers, deep conversation was something she rarely encountered.

It was Generla Kyoshii who met her at the door. Having been informed in advance of the reason for the girl's visit, he stood watch outside to make sure she arrived safely. He was an old, grizzled soldier; his hair was long but thinning, and he had a short but thick beard, with all of his hair colored stone gray from age. His eyes were amber in color, while on his face were two broad, blood red stripes, one on each cheek. He wore his armor around the house, and Rin suspected him of wearing a few pieces of it to bed out of habit for being ready for battle. But as imposing as he looked, he was always warm and cheerful to Rin. When she finally arrived to the house, he hugged her fiercely, and Rin knew her long absence between visits had worried him.

Takako was much younger than her husband, but slightly older than Sesshomaru. She had long, black hair, but always wore it up for both appearances sake and convenience. Rin had seen it down once, and it trailed slightly on the floor. Her eyes were a startling shade of green, and she was fond of wearing jade jewelry to accentuate them. On her forehead was a lavender crescent with the open end facing up; she had been a cousin of Sesshomaru's mother, she explained, and dog demon clans tended to have distinct markings among themselves. The lids of her eyes were lined with pale blue stripes that extended past the outer corners and curled upwards slightly. Rin had always known Takako-san to be dressed finely, but never impractically. Her clothes were befitting a noblewoman, but made sure that she would still have free range of movement.

They had started the evening just catching up; Kyoshii was as eager as his wife to hear of the inner happenings in the House of the West. Rin subtly noticed that each time she mentioned Sesshomaru's name, both dog demons became quiet and serious. Sometimes, they would even stay silent after she had finished her anecdote about him, as if they thought she might have more to say. It made her uncomfortable, as if everything she was saying was wrong, and the couple was waiting for her to go back and correct it. After the first few times of noticing this, Rin dropped the subject of Sesshomaru whenever it came up after that. She had come to their house to forget that sort of thing, anyway.

After an enjoyable time of tea and fast-paced conversation, General Kyoshii took his leave, leaving the ladies alone to discuss the warm, intimate knowledge that good friends share. Of course, Takako was eager to reveal her latest purchase: seven new scrolls of poetry, and a newly written scroll documenting the legend of the Shikon no Tama. The older woman knew that her friend would have no heart to read the historical account; no doubt, having experienced it all for herself, any mistakes would be insulting. But she assured the girl that it was quite good, and barring a few liberties taken with lesser known details, accurate. They then eagerly sifted through the remaining scrolls, debating the merits of the poems that grabbed their attention. The majority were about nature or spiritual matters, but a few were love poems.

"I just think it's overly dramatic is all," Rin defended, having expressed her distaste in a particular poem about a woman who kills herself for her lover's sake.

Takako laughed. "You don't think it could happen?"

"Oh, I know it could," the girl argued, "I'm just not sure it should. Why should love cause death? Isn't is supposed to be happy?"

"Supposed to be," the demon woman said knowingly, "but is not always. Did you know, that before I was married to Kyoshii, I was betrothed to another?"

"Really? Who?"

"Oh, some higher up noble who decided he needed a second, trophy wife." The woman smiled, her eyes glimmering mischievously. "Of course, I barely even knew of Kyoshii before that, until the day my betrothal was officially announced. Apparently, he'd wanted for some time to seek permission to court me, but always lost his nerve."

"General Kyoshii lost his nerve about a woman?" Rin snorted incredulously. "This _is_ the man who ripped the heads off seven men with his teeth, because he'd been captured and his hands were bound, right?"

Takako burst out laughing. "I'd forgotten about _that_ one!"

"Yes, well, Katsuro-kun always enjoyed telling me the bloodiest war stories he knew," Rin complained. "He told me it 'builds character,' or some shit like that."

The woman narrowed her eyes at the girl's use of language; while Rin couldn't help the environment of her upbringing, she could help the nature of her manners. But it was quickly dismissed when Takako remembered the mention of General Katsuro's name.

"He likes you," the dog demon said out of the corner of her mouth.

"Who?"

"Katsuro-san, of course."

Rin laughed sharply, falling forward and almost losing her balance. "Ha! That's funny! He's not all that bright then, is he?"

Takako raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" she asked slyly.

Rin wrinkled her nose. "Why are you talking like you know something I don't? And from the look of you, it's something that I _should_ know."

The dog demon merely shook her head and smiled glibly.

"Fine," the girl pouted, "it doesn't really matter anyway. I don't care."

"You're blushing," Takako eagerly commented.

"I'm hot."

"You're embarrassed."

"For him, maybe."

"What's wrong with him liking you?" the woman demanded playfully.

"It's just _wrong_," Rin spat out. As she spoke, she began wringing her hands in her lap. "That is just something that should not happen. He's a demon, I'm a human, it just won't work, period."

Takako gently placed her own hands over the girl's, stilling her nervous movements. "You're not an ordinary human," she reminded gently.

Apparently the comment hit a sharp nerve, because Rin jerked her hands away and clutched one about her neck while the other rested in a fist against her chest. Her eyes grew blank and distant, while her facial expression spoke of a sadness that bordered on despondency. Takako immediately regretted her comment. She knew some of the girl's secret torment in her decision to make the pearl. Often, the girl feared for her own humanity when confronted with the reality that she carried her soul in a stone instead of her body. Perhaps it would be best to change the subject.

"I saw you out on Kado, the other night," the demon woman scolded lightly. "I just pray no one else did—you were in quite some get-up."

The girl laughed dryly, remembering. "Yeah," she murmured. "Just didn't feel like changing."

"Well, you would have caught an earful from me if I hadn't already dressed to go to bed," Takako teased.

"Huh," Rin shrugged, still rubbing her fingers over the pearl. "Sesshomaru-sama didn't say anything."

"Sesshomaru-sama saw you?" the woman asked, quite shocked. "I didn't see him out there."

The girl smiled wryly. "You're never supposed to see him," she explained. "He likes spying on people. I only know when he's there because I've learned to listen for him. Something always gives him away. The wind hitting his clothes, or a branch creaking, or everything just going silent. If I'm in the forest, and he's there, all the birds stop singing." She then closed her eyes and frowned. "I guess he thinks he's being clever or something."

Takako sighed patiently. "Sesshomaru-sama," she began slowly, "is a…complicated man. I didn't meet him until just before his father, the Inu no Taishio, died. And I've never really heard much about him that isn't some kind of war story, or about some conquest he'd been in." The woman shook her head. "No one else lived in that house, except for that toad he keeps around. The servants saw little of him. It didn't surprise us when he decided to go out searching for the Tesseiga. He's always got to have some great mission keeping him busy."

Rin gave a lopsided grin, but there was no heart in it. "And that quest turned into hunting down Naraku."

"Where he found you," Takako reminded brightly. "You have been the first person to live in that house, besides himself and his retainer, since he came into power."

The girl nodded dumbly. The fact had been no surprise to her, even when she was little. When she had first arrived, she took great pleasure in scaring the wits out of the servants by running around and yelling, or singing, or playing in the garden. It was as if they had never witnessed any form of movement in the house, and seeing something within its walls so full of life was like feeling an earthquake for the first time. Those had been good times. And Sesshomaru never once discouraged her from it. Perhaps it was a novelty he had slowly discovered to enjoy.

Obviously, Takako was failing in lifting Rin's spirits. Takako studied her friend and surrogate daughter with a critical eye. She looked thinner, and her eyes were much darker. The outfit she was wearing was poorly matched; she probably had dressed in a hurry, or else she just didn't care. Her hair was back in a braid, but the work was crooked, leaving a mess of fly-aways feathering about her head. The woman worried her heart for Rin, everyday. She kept her displeasure of the girl's present occupation to herself, understanding that Rin was still desperately seeking her place in the home of the Western Lord. _Or in his heart_, she thought sadly. There needed to be a drastic shift in the conversation, or the girl might just sit there and stare blankly at the floor all night. After her last mission, and with her new mission coming up, Rin needed something light-hearted, else she ran the risk of losing her heart altogether.

"I never did finish telling you how Kyoshii and I finally got together," the dog demon interjected eagerly.

At this, Rin smiled. "No," she answered smiling sweetly, "and I would love to hear it."

888888

Sesshomaru bared his teeth and glared at the tree in front of him.

The tree offended him.

It had happened so suddenly. One minute, he was looking about his outer garden for a distraction after his stressful day, and the next, a small sakura tree was existing in a way that immediately enraged him.

How dare it be there. How dare it grow, and thrive, and flourish when its master was in such a foul mood. How dare its blossoms match the color of the kimono Rin wore but two days ago. It had to be destroyed.

Cracking his knuckles, the demon lord advanced on his prey. The negotiations that day had gone smoothly, and for that he had been thankful. But the demons from the East who had come for this occasion seemed to take their sweet time about leaving. And Mieko…

The sapling was in splinters after a harsh swipe of his claws. Pink petals fluttered about like a spring snow; the smell was pleasant at least. But Sesshomaru was still dissatisfied. He was quite sure there was another plant existing in his yard that was offending him as well.

The only way, it seemed, to talk to General Shouji was to do it in Lady Mieko's company. Sesshomaru had tried separating the two, but the soldier dutifully obeyed his lord in keeping watch over the princess. And just as unfortunately, Shouji seemed to be a man of few words. That left Mieko plenty of space to fill with her more than copious vocabulary of absolute drivel. The dog demon was sure she had heard him grinding his teeth on several occasions, because she seemed to pause. But if she had noticed it or any other sign of his misery, she ignored it and continued talking.

The general lived two days travel north-east from the Western palace, in a shiro that had belonged to his dead father, another general in the Eastern army. There, he camped out with his moderately sized army, which he seemed to train endlessly. When asked if he was married, the young general had merely grinned and answered that, from a soldier to a soldier, marriage was best left to old men and fat nobles. Mieko had of course objected profusely to that comment, accusing Shouji of courting several women, to which he promptly assured her that his intentions with them were anything but marriage.

Already, Sesshomaru was regretting his decision to send Rin alone to Shouji's house. She was adept at defending herself, but a man like this would not fight a woman with swords. He would ensnare her with words, and devour her with his charm. This was, to his knowledge, the first male of this cut she had ever met. The soldiers of his army may be crude in their suggestive language around her, but they most certainly did not mean any of it. If they did, he would have killed them for it. No, this would be a much more dangerous enemy. He had to make that point clear.

After he did some more "gardening."

Now it was the maple that insulted him. It thought it was so dashing with its red, star-shaped leaves; such an arrogant thing. This time, he drew Tokijin and prepared for battle. The tree would die, and if the surrounding shrubbery got caught in the crossfire, then so be it. Undoubtedly, they were laughing smugly at the maple, thinking they were safe.

Sesshomaru clenched his teeth and pulled on his youki to feed the demon blade. It truly was a wicked thing, crying out for blood even as he subdued it with his own power. The thrumming energy pulse of the sword tingled along his arm. Such a reassuring and calming sensation, to have a power such as this blanketing his flesh. He merely had to make known his will, and the sword would carry out his bidding. Ripping a battle cry from his throat, he unleashed the blue bolts of lightning from the demonic blade and watched as his target disintegrated into fine ash.

"Damn it!" he hissed, plunging Tokijin into the ground in front of him. He forced the blade back into sleep, then settled it into the sash at his waist over his hip. Tenseiga, resentful of having its unholy partner returned, pulsed pleadingly. Sesshomaru blanched. His father's heavenly blade was never unruly or disobedient, but when it spoke, the sound of it pierced through his soul. The demon heaved an angry breath, before lifting his face to the night sky.

Why did he punish himself like this? Why could he not be satisfied with what he had been given, or what he had worked to get for himself? Why could it never be enough?

He had wanted his father's title and land. It had all been passed down upon the death of the Inu no Taishio. He then wanted Tenseiga's twin, Tesseiga. When he discovered he could not use it, Tokijin was then forged; in his mind, it was a superior blade, though it still angered him that his father favored Inuyasha by giving him Tesseiga. He wanted Naraku dead. That had been, admittedly, a concerted effort between the two Inu camps. Even Jakken and Rin contributed; Jakken blazing hellfire from Nintoujou, and Rin tending to the injured warriors after it was all over. She had been grudgingly allowed to treat a slow healing gash on the calf of his left leg. Sesshomaru watched his young ward with pride, as she then helped tie Inuyasha down so that his own myriad of still gushing wounds could be taken care of. He even joined in the chorus of exuberant laughter as the reality of it all sank in.

Sesshomaru had everything he wanted. So he wanted more.

He wanted an empire. It was to extend beyond the borders of his father's former domain, and encompass the entirety of the four lands. He wanted power and prestige beyond what his lordship of the West offered. He wanted legions to tremble at the mention of his name, armies clamor to fight under his colors, demons to laud him as their undisputed leader…

…and Rin at his side.

It had been a disturbing realization. He fought against it, with everything he could muster. But whenever he started to envision a future without her in it, a cold despair hardened and ached within his chest. There _had_ to be a place for her, because he needed her. In the beginning, it was her unfailing, unconditional adoration of him that won his attentions. But soon after he realized that she really did feel the things she expressed to him. Sesshomaru was faced with the realization that he had his own feelings towards her as well. That had been something agonizing to admit, but the blatant truth was before Rin came into his life, he was _lonely. _And he did _not_ want to be alone again.

But it wasn't that simple. Rin wasn't a "pet," or a toy for him to pull along a string as he went. She was a mind, and a heart, and a soul of her own that would never be his in any fashion; and yet she was his all the same. He had given her life, and now it was time for him to give her a life, in the service of the Western Lands. She agreed of her own free will, and embraced the prospect of remaining with her lord for all time. He had gotten what he wanted, only because she had wanted him in return.

Sesshomaru never questioned Rin's motivation in staying with him. If he was given to paranoia, he might believe she was only trying to ensure she had a warm bed and plenty of food in a palace she could easily live happily ever after in. But she had chosen to work for her right to stay, earning her place in his empire instead of in his closet. Any objectors to the Western Lord harboring a human girl in his service were killed; any further objections were silenced once she had the pearl. It earned her due respect, and many of his soldiers did not think of her as human at all. Rin had her own quiet power, and anyone she could not cut down with a sword, she could reduce to his knees with her wit. There was never a day that Sesshomaru did not feel pleased with her in some fashion. Of course, there also was never a day that he wasn't irritated, or confused, or angered, or bewildered by her either. Still, it was all worth it, because with her, he would never have to feel lonely again.

A light from the corner of his eye caught his attention, and he turned to see the dojo's lanterns being lit. He could hear Rin chattering away about something or another, and General Katsuro's deep voice in reply. The talking soon fell silent, and was replaced with the clang of metal against metal; they were sparring, no doubt in preparation for Rin's departure.

Looking about, Sesshomaru decided that nothing else in the garden was brave enough to protest the slaughter of their comrades. He had conquered…_something_, and for that his spirits became lighter. Regally nodding over his newly acquired domain, Sesshomaru then leapt soundlessly into the branches of a spruce pine overlooking the dojo. He needed to be lost in his thoughts, deeply meditating while he stared into the night sky.

Otherwise, who knew what else he would destroy?

888888

Rin hated it when he took his shirt off.

When fighting, both favored linen over silk or wool. Katsuro had his usual loose fitting, black training outfit sans shirt. Rin always wore white when sparring; it helped her to correct any mistakes she made. If she was cut, she could see where, and learn to pay better attention to how much of her body she left undefended. Her outfit was similar to his in make: pants to the ankle, sleeveless top with mandarin collar and wooden dowel buttons, black silk slippers.

Katsuro-kun was one of the most arrogant males she knew, and she knew a lot of arrogant males. It wasn't as if he was unattractive; he was quite close to being as beautiful as her lord. He was of the same clan, and thus had white hair and gold eyes. There was only one set of stripes on his face, colored purple, but meeting at his spine and radiating along the curve of his ribs he sported three pairs of the same color. He was incredibly vain about them, and showed them off every chance he got. He also was well aware how nicely shaped his body was, with skin stretched taught over finely toned muscle.

Normally Rin would have found his token display of masculinity to be boorish, but something had imperceptibly changed in his appearance that made her want to blush. Perhaps it was Takako-san's earlier warning that the young dog demon was attracted to her. Whatever the case, it was distracting her, and making her a poor sparring partner.

"Oomf!" the girl grunted, landing squarely on her behind. _That's gonna be a bruise_, she thought pitifully.

"You must be _letting_ me win," Katsuro teased. "I've never seen you this wimpy, even when you were first learning."

"Rub it in," Rin muttered under her breath.

The demon laughed good-naturedly. "Here," he said, extending a hand, "I'll help you up."

The girl grudgingly accepted his assistance, using his arm as leverage to pull herself upright. But he didn't let go. Katsuro's grip remained firm; he was even pulling her closer, and putting his other hand on the small of her back. Alarm bells went off in the back of Rin's head, and she felt her body tremble under the strain of her hidden panic.

"There, there," Katsuro consoled. "You really must be having a rough day. I'm sorry for teasing you earlier." He smiled, and patted her back. "Are you okay?"

There was something _different_ in his eyes, looking at him now. It was like watching a snake poised to strike: the grin that anticipated tasting flesh, the coiled tension, the darkened eyes hiding their true intent. If he licked his lips, she feared she might fall to the floor.

Why in the hell was she reacting to him like this?

Rin had seduced several men into touching her, but it always was followed with her slicing them through. She had all the power. She knew what was going to happen, from the first batted eyelash to the blood and gore spraying over the walls. But this, while similar in appearance, felt foreign to her. In fact, it was flat out frightening; this of course made it even worse considering that her body was frozen with fear. He was pulling her closer to him, and the only thing she could do was wobble like a newborn animal taking its first steps while in a hurricane. Which made things even _more_ worse, because he took her shivering as a sign to embrace her.

"Hey," he murmured, "what's gotten into you?"

"Guh…uh…mmff," the girl choked. _Get the fuck off! Get the fuck off! Why can't you say that!_ she screamed in her head. _Make him let go!_

But it felt so…warm. And he smelled _good_. And Katsuro seemed genuinely concerned for Rin's well-being; his eyes were dilated and glassy.

_That's not concern, that's lust. You've seen it a hundred times before! Snap out of it!_

The demon smiled. "Do you wanna quit for the night?" he murmured. His hands were moving, one around her waist and the other to her face, both pulling her flush against his body. His breath softly puffed over her face as he gazed down on her, before smoothly lowering his head to hover over her neck. "We could do something else," he breathed hotly.

Whatever it was, either the tone of his voice or the choice of his words, Rin snapped. She was scared beyond anything she had ever felt, and her entire body wanted to defend itself. With a sudden burst of strength, she propelled herself from Katsuro's arms and well across the room. She was panting heavily, clutching one arm across her chest as she fumbled to find her weapon.

Sword in a white knuckled grip, Rin glared at Katsuro. "_Don't_ touch me like that," she gritted through her teeth.

The young general grinned, flashing his fangs in plain sight. "Temper," he teased approvingly. "Alright then, let's go!"

The girl charged.

She knew she was asking for defeat the moment she touched her sword again. Rushing into a battle with high emotion can make even the most skilled fighter careless. But she could care less. Right now, all she wanted was to draw blood and gloat about her victory.

Katsuro toyed with her for awhile. The whole situation was amusing to him. One minute, she was melting in his arms and the next she was buzzing with excitement. True, when he had met the girl initially she looked rather…gangly. Unappealing on the whole really, but tempting regardless of her species. Now older and mature, she was able to shock every nerve in his system to the surface from a mere glimpse of her. If he hadn't been so sure death would find him for touching Rin, he would have made his move sooner. But Sesshomaru-sama trusted his ward in his young general's hands. And, should same ward find that she liked being touched with those hands, then how could he be punished for letting her exercise her own free will?

The girl thrust her blade towards his shoulder, and the dog demon barely moved away in time. She managed to nick his arm. Grinning sadistically, she came at him again, this time aiming for his chest. Katsuro fell down on his back, raised up his feet which met Rin's ribs, and propelled her over his head in a tumbling arc.

Rin landed on her side, but quickly righted herself into a crouching position. One leg was bent at the knee while the other was splayed behind her, balanced on her toes and ready to spring. The demon arrogantly tossed his sword from one hand to the other, circling his infuriated opponent.

Gods, did she look good. How could he not at least try?

He went for her, hands primed to grab her at the hips. Rin made the mistake of rolling to the side when she should have stood up. Katsuro was not about to let the opportunity pass by. Blocking her with his leg, he then cornered her evasion by successfully grabbing the curves at her sides. As he intended, she stumbled over his leg before tumbling face down to the floor.

And, being the perfect gentleman that he was, he went down with her, throwing his body underneath hers to cushion the fall.

Rin struggled to right herself but found that the demon had once again wrapped his arms about her body, fixing her arms to her sides. "Let go!" she demanded.

"C'mon, Rin," Katsuro whined playfully, "haven't you had enough fighting for today?" He smirked from the corner of his mouth, narrowing his eyes and squeezing her even tighter. Happily, he felt her struggle against him, letting her rub warm, soft body parts over his own.

"Let me **go**!" Rin demanded once more, even more furiously than the first.

Katsuro rolled to the side and pinned Rin underneath him with his body weight. Before he could get a rational hold on his senses, he kissed her forcefully.

He had kissed many females in his life, all of which were demons. Each breed of demon had her own particular taste: dog demons tasted of meat, butterfly demons of honey, cat demons of fish, and water demons of metal. But all had the same underlying flavor of youki, their demonic aura. It burned the tongue, and was slightly acidic with a salty aftertaste. But this—Rin tasted entirely different.

Her mouth was so soft and malleable, and her teeth smooth and flat. The strongest essence he could detect with his tongue was her blood. That alone was enough to make him push harder against her, but the sweetness underlying her blood gave him pause. It was like a fruit, but none that he had ever tasted before. The harder he kissed, the more that tincture disappeared. It was as if the human body had a built in reward system for treating it gently. Overall, it was her fragility that appealed to him above everything. He could _break_ her, and there was nothing she could do about it. But if he was careful, and treated her with caution, she would yield back her soft body to his senses.

She was screaming into his mouth, and trying to bite his tongue. Her back arched upward in an effort to throw him off, or to the side, or anywhere that wasn't on top of her. The demon merely pressed down harder. He straddled her with one leg, pushing her hips hard into the floor. And there he made his mistake.

Raising her leg by crawling on her toes, Rin had her knee in the air and jerked it towards her, meeting Katsuro squarely between the legs. He grunted sharply and let go, rolling to the side.

She scooted away from him like a crab, never taking her eyes off of his now still body. She'd never before done that to a male, because she had been taught that it was the lowest, basest, most dishonorable tactic to resort to. If you couldn't bring your opponent down fairly, it was better to dig into his eye with a finger, or bite his nose off, than to knee him in the groin. But Rin had been desperate. And it had worked.

Katsuro slowly rose to his hands and one knees, long white hair covering his face. He heaved a breath, then began chuckling darkly. "So," he challenged hoarsely, "you wanna play rough?"

There was something telling Rin to run, and forget about her stupid sense of pride and honor. Something crawling up her back and tingling at the base of her skull was alerting her to danger. Some unseen hand was trying to tug her to safety.

She ignored it.

The demon was still laughing softly, rising into a standing position. Slowly, he combed through his hair with his claws, smoothing it back into place. Rin could see him plainly then, and shivered.

Katsuro was playing on the dangerous line between a full transformation into his dog form, and staying in his more human-like form. His eyes were red with small, green pupils. The stripes on his face and chest were much larger, almost looking like they could become claws if he willed them so. He was smiling at her wickedly, displaying his elongated fangs.

"Weak little human," he growled. "Do not forget who you are fighting with."

Rin snapped. Grabbing a nearby sword from off the wall, she ran forward, screaming a broken war-cry.

The blade met with his shoulder and ran through. Katsuro did not even dodge, and Rin realized her mistake too late. He had _let_ her stab him, in order to bring her close enough for him to strike. She turned and watched him raise his hand with its thickened, longer claws, and swipe it diagonally across her chest.

The girl jumped back and hissed from the brief, stinging pain. Clutching her arm over her chest, she looked up just in time to be smacked across the room and into the wall. She crumpled on the floor in a heap, disoriented and frightened.

Katsuro winced slightly as he pulled the blade out from his shoulder. Within seconds it was almost fully healed. During those seconds, he was stalking towards the little human girl on the floor. She could only look at him with wide eyes, and tremble. He grabbed her by the arms, and fastened her to the wall with his claws.

"You," he spat, "are nothing more than a toy to me. You're just the weak little _pet_ of a foolish demon lord who hasn't the guts to use you for his _needs_ or dispose of you!"

Rin was ashamed to feel tears running down her face. _Show no weakness_, she'd been drilled. But these words _hurt_, more than any physical pain she had ever had. And they didn't fade away like her cuts and scrapes; it lingered in her chest, steadily burning its way into her heart. She sobbed.

Katsuro seemed to be further emboldened by this, and shoved his face directly in front of Rin's, touching foreheads. "Good," he gritted through his fangs. "Know your place and grovel." He tightened his grip on her arms, managing to break one of them. She cried out, further egging him on. "Did you honestly think you could live in a world of demons and seen as an equal?"

Part of Rin was falling quickly into despair. She believed his words, because she had thought them herself, at one time or another. They were her greatest fear, that one day she would cease to be of any use or amusement and be cast out. When the pearl was made, her fear of this increased, for if she were to be cast out on her own, she would be sentenced to watch the world die away alone. And Sesshomaru—yes, she had doubted him too. Why was he so adamant about keeping her with him? To what good was her life prolonged? What was he planning for her? She could never ask, and he would never tell.

But another part of Rin was still fighting for her survival. That part lived in her unbroken arm, whose fingers had found a helmet hanging on the wall. It took some stretching, but she finally maneuvered it into her grip. Lifting her legs together, she nestled her feet against one another and landed a sharp kick against the arm holding her good arm captive. Claws scratched over her skin, but she didn't care. With a strength she never knew she could possess, Rin crashed the helmet in her hand against Katsuro's head.

The demon released his grip instantly, sending Rin to her knees on the floor. She clutched the helmet to her chest for some semblance of protection, but quickly saw that she didn't need it. Katsuro was staggering backwards, while his eyes bleached to their normal color. Clumsily, he crumpled to the floor, and passed out of consciousness.

Rin began to wail, tears pouring from her eyes.

888888

"_Why protect them? Why miss them? Why love them?" _

The words haunted Sesshomaru still. They were the words he had spoken to his brother, shortly before the hanyou Inuyasha sliced off Sesshomaru's arm. He had meant it to provoke Inuyasha into a rage, and it had worked all too well. In the end, it was the hanyou's desire to protect the human girl with him that resulted in Sesshomaru's defeat.

But now, the words had a different meaning.

Ever since Rin started traveling with him, those same words echoed in his head, constantly questioning his motives in letting the girl associate with him.

_Why protect them?_

Humans were weak. At the beginning, he took pity on the girl. She had taken it upon herself to care for him while convalescing in the woods. It had been his pride wounded more than anything, but the girl could not have known that. She only saw the blood from his wounds, and took pity on _him_. Her emotions had surprised him, to say the least. When she found him, Sesshomaru used what little of his youki was left to try and frighten Rin away. But she would not be swayed from her decision to help him.

Then came the day where she visited him, with a body that had obviously been beaten severely. Sesshomaru was puzzled by the girl's unending determination to tend to a strange demon over her own wounds. Did she value his well-being over her own? Was she not only sympathetic, but empathetic to his pain? Could she be helping him in hopes he would protect her from her tormentors?

"What happened to your face?" he blurted before he thought better of himself.

Rin seemed thoughtful for a moment, contemplating her response.

The demon was still unsure of whether or not he wanted to risk actually having a conversation with the little urchin. Part of him was disgusted by her humanity, but part of him was greatly intrigued by the mechanics of her very existence.

"You don't have to say anything, if you don't want," he quickly added, letting the girl decide if she wanted to reveal the details of her life to a stranger.

Then her face formed the most _genuine_ smile of happiness Sesshomaru had ever seen in the centuries of his life.

He raised an eyebrow, even more confused. "What are you smiling about?" he demanded. "I only asked you about your face."

It was that smile that made him feel pity for her, as he stood over her little dead body. It was curiosity that made him respond to Tenseiga pulsing at his hip. It was shock that numbed him into letting her follow him for the first few days.

It was the sense of unadulterated power of holding her fragile, insignificant life in his hands that addicted him. He protected her, and she adored him for it.

_Why miss them?_

He did worry about her a little, when he left her in the care of Jakken, or Aun, or by herself. He had the security of knowing that, if she were to die, he could bring her back.

But why bother bringing her back at all?

He had thought of this too, extensively. Why couldn't he just leave her by the wayside, or "forget" to retrieve her when his affairs had been concluded? Why was he always relieved to find her healthy and whole when he returned?

She would run to him, arms out though she knew he would never embrace her. Then Rin would stop short and gaze up at him, excitedly saying his name over and over. Usually, he would bark at her to follow, but sometimes, he would pause and ask her how she had passed her time apart from him. Then she would tell him of how many flowers she'd picked, or what Aun did, or what Jakken had said. And Sesshomaru would be secretly relieved that she had spent one more day in mediocrity.

Then she was kidnapped.

It had blindsided him completely. How Naraku had divined that taking the girl would be the best way of luring the dog demon out was upsetting. At first, Sesshomaru was furious, only because the filthy hanyou had taken something that was his. But the longer it took him to get to her, the more worried he became. When he finally found her, he'd wanted to kill everything within a 5 li radius. But it wouldn't solve anything. Naraku alone would have to pay for this act.

After it was all over, and he rejoined his motley group, Rin ran to him like she always did, but this time she threw herself around his leg and began to cry.

"Rin missed Sesshomaru-sama!" she sobbed pathetically.

It hurt. Deep within him, the urge to scoop her up and blanket her from the world stabbed his heart. He realized that if he did that, he'd never want to let her go.

He'd missed her, too.

So Rin had managed to elicit another weakness from her demon guardian. Sesshomaru vowed to overcome it. She would be made into a source of strength, simply by never letting her out of his sight. There were times when it was unavoidable of course, for her own safety. But knowing that wherever she was, she was missing him and awaiting his return made him more confident. Something in the universe genuinely cared for him. For that, he would be strong.

_Why love them?_

A cacophony of shouting and banging broke Sesshomaru's tranquil reverie. Something was in the dojo, trying to bring it down from the inside it seemed. From what he could deduce, Rin was the one doing the shouting.

His chest tightened in anticipation of what he would find. Soundlessly landing on the ground, he stalked over to the building and threw open the door. His breath caught in his throat immediately.

General Katsuro was lying on the floor, unconscious. His blood scent still lingered; not far from the door Sesshomaru found a sword stained with the very fluid. Rin was screaming, wildly brandishing anything she could get her hands on until it got stuck or fell from her grip, and then grabbed something else. She had already knocked several holes in the walls and ceiling. Weapons were scattered chaotically over the floor, as if she had just slain an army of ghosts. He watched in dumb amazement as she grabbed a cedar chest from off the floor and threw it into the wall, punching another hole. Immediately, she replaced the chest with a set of sai that fell out from the chest. She used the pronged weapons to maim anything in her reach.

"RIN!" Sesshomaru bellowed. "Stand down!"

"NO!" she screamed, not bothering to face him. She continued with her wanton destruction, having lost the sai after she embedded them in the floor and now using a sword to hack away at a support beam.

_She's gone mad_, Sesshomaru thought in bewilderment.

Katsuro was starting to come to his senses, and lifted his head up to see what had awoken him. That was when he saw Sesshomaru in the doorway, looking positively livid, fuming youki in every direction. The building itself began to shake from the growing energy. Katsuro lowered his head and let his body go limp. There was no sense in fighting Sesshomaru; he'd end up dead before he could stand fully. He would just have to bravely take whatever punishment the demon lord had in mind as a penalty for what he'd done to Rin.

But Sesshomaru did not seem to be concerned with the general at all. In fact, all of his focus—and anger—seemed directed at Rin herself.

"RIN!" Sesshomaru barked, advancing on her. "Stop this NOW!"

"NO!" she screamed again, but she let go of the sword. It fell to the floor with a metallic clamor, and Rin turned and rushed at her lord. She ran straight into his solid form and was knocked back a few steps, but she merely shook her head and came at him again, this time with her fists raised.

"I'm not your PET!" she shrieked, banging on his armor with her tiny hands. "I'm not WEAK! I'm not weak! I'm not weak!"

She kept repeating herself, banging her head against his chest plate along with her fists. Sesshomaru was stunned into silence, watching her impale her hands on the spikes of his armor, not once letting up on her assault. Her blood was spurting all over; the smell of it turned his stomach.

Grabbing both of her hands together at the wrist, he pulled her into the air so that her face was level with his own. "Rin!" he demanded. "Explain yourself!"

It was then he noticed that her tunic had been torn. It was quite tattered from it getting caught on some of her projectiles, but the top and bottom had retained its original pattern: four closely spaced lines running diagonal. Sniffing the air, Sesshomaru struggled to understand what had happened. It was extremely difficult overcoming the fresh scents of Rin's blood and tears, but he could still catch Katsuro's blood, and something else that was decidedly Katsuro.

And Sesshomaru decidedly did not like it.

Lowering Rin to her feet before letting her go, the demon lord stormed over to where his general had curled up on the floor. Sesshomaru landed a sharp kick into the young demon's ribs, forcing his body to splay outwards and sending him into the wall. Katsuro crawled to his hands and knees, coughing.

"My lord," he groveled, "let me explain---"

Another swift kick landed against his ribs, sending him skidding across the floor into the adjoining wall. Again, Katsuro rose to his knees lifting his face.

"Listen," he pleaded, but another kick to the ribs knocked the air and any further words from his lungs. Whatever air was left was further forced out when his body slammed into the third wall. He was beginning to grow dizzy, and his vision darkened. Passing out wouldn't be all that bad; at least he wouldn't be awake to see what cruel method would be used to kill him.

Kicked to the last wall, Katsuro managed to cough up a mouthful of blood before he slipped into unconsciousness.

Sesshomaru then turned to Rin. He could see to the general later. It wasn't like he was going to run away.

Her face was puffed and red from crying as much and as hard as she had, but her tears were beginning to slow. Her sobs came out in hiccups, jerking her already trembling body with each spasm.

"I'm not weak. I'm not weak," she kept moaning.

Against his screaming sense of dignity and his clamoring common sense, Sesshomaru scooped the girl up with his one arm and walked out of the dojo.

_Now what are you going to do?_ he berated himself. It was bad enough that he was cradling his adult human ward, but to be _seen_ cradling his adult human ward would be infinitely worse. Instinctually, his mind told him to retreat to higher ground. In one powerful leap, he was back in the branches of his earlier tree, carefully balancing Rin with his arm and now his legs around her.

She had stopped crying completely now, and was doing her best to bury her body in the fur pelt he carried. Oddly, he remembered a moment when she was a little girl and she had done the same thing, except she was small enough to disappear completely under its bulk.

"Rin," he said quietly.

The girl sniffed. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

Sesshomaru wasn't interested in who was sorry and who wasn't. He was interested in who deserved to be sorry, and would be made so. The scene did not look favorable to Rin, but it looked equally so for the general. Shaking the girl gently, he urged her to say something more than an apology.

"I know how bad that must have looked," Rin moaned. "But it…I just couldn't let him _win_."

To win something, one often got a prize. Therefore, there was a prize to be had between the combatants. From what he could smell in the room, the two were obviously competing for something completely different than the other.

"Win what?" the demon asked suspiciously.

The girl looked to her protector with wide eyes. "He said…things that I just couldn't let him get away with."

"What things?" Sesshomaru demanded shortly.

"He said I was _weak_," she ground out through her teeth. She clenched her jaw and fists in silence for a time, before adding, "He said I was your _pet_."

Sesshomaru growled low in his throat. _Did he now?_ Katsuro deserved more than being kicked around the room for that.

"Anything else?" he prodded.

Rin looked away. "No," she mumbled, shaking her head.

Sesshomaru frowned. "Do not lie to me," he warned. "This Sesshomaru needs to know what happened and my senses can only tell me so much."

At the mention of surmising through senses, Rin blanched visibly. "Um," she said nervously.

The demon lowered his head to glare directly at the girl. He could smell it quite clearly now, the scent of the insolent whelp on her mouth. They had kissed, but the question remained as to whether or not it had been mutual. After all, Rin had kissed many other demons freely, though it gave him pains when she came home reeking strongly of it. But those kisses were for different reasons. She killed those who kissed her. Was she then trying to kill General Katsuro for some reason? If so, he would not be able to overlook it, which spelled disaster for the girl.

"Rin," he said sternly.

The girl hugged her knees and covered her face. "Rin was only trying to _protect herself_," she said, whispering the last two words.

"Protect from what?"

"From him," she murmured. "Katsuro---" she paused, thinking better of attaching an ending onto the general's name. "From him," she repeated.

Sesshomaru tallied up the clues. Rin was speaking in third person, reverting back to childhood speech. So she was scared. She claimed she was trying to protect herself from a male. She had been confronted in an intimidating fashion. Lastly, she refrained from adding the familiar "-kun" to the general's name that she had used since she was 13. In fact, she had never referred to him as anything but since he had laughed at her initial tendency to refer to him as "-sama." She had lost respect and a level of friendship with the general then.

Conclusion: he had assaulted her with a kiss, and gods knew what else.

The dog demon felt his hackles rise at the back of his neck. Vaguely, he remembered the slashes across her shirt. One had managed to slice through the bandaging she wore across her chest when training, while two others must have drawn blood from her belly from the stains he saw on the fabric.

"He came at me when I kicked him—I know I shouldn't have kicked him but I just couldn't _think_ and he let go…," she explained, trailing off into memory.

Sesshomaru was practically vibrating with rage.

Rin continued after wiping her eyes. "He _sort of_ transformed, so he wasn't in a sensible state of mind when he scratched me. I had to knock him out with a helmet before he calmed down." At this, she laughed softly, remembering her triumph undoubtedly.

Katsuro would be humiliated to the highest possible degree, Sesshomaru decided. Tie boulders to his hands and feet and make him run the 10 li morning warm-up with his troops. Hang him upside down and tell anyone who passes to feel free to take a punch at him. Finally, put him in women's clothing and let each and every soldier in his brigade take their turn at sparring practice with him. And blindfold him too, for good measure.

The dog demon grinned. Sometimes, it was more fulfilling to make people wish they were dead than to actually kill them.

He tightened his embrace around Rin. He didn't care to know the specifics of her ordeal, just as he knew she didn't care to tell them. All he cared for was to have her be well, in body and in mind.

Rin curled up snugly against her lord, hoping to make this moment last for as long as possible. She did not want him to let go easily; he had held her like this maybe two other times before, both of which when she was a child. Part of her wanted to beg to be taken off her next mission. She wanted to plead that her place in his empire be here, in his embrace. It was a childish and useless desire, but she wanted it nonetheless. The other part of her knew the foolish nature of her daydream. Humans and demons did not belong together.

_We shouldn't belong together_, she lamented. But then a quiet truth glowed within her heart, telling her to pause and consider her words. _We shouldn't belong together_, she repeated, _but we can't be apart_. Both were equally true.

She still smelled a little like that cherry soap she liked. Sesshomaru had always found the scent overwhelming, but now as it mingled with her more natural essences, he liked it. Closing his eyes, he lowered his face to rest on the top of Rin's head.

The two collectively sighed.

He knew it was undignified. He knew it was improper, and inherently wrong to feel so attached to a human. But for all the years he had spent fighting it, and all the reasons he had come up with against being with her, he could think of ten reasons why he should to every one of why he shouldn't. And not one of them made a lick of sense.

_Her hair. Her smile. Her scent. Her eyes. Her voice. Her devotion. Her love._

Sesshomaru both depended on and despised the last one. If she loved him, then he would not be selfish in wanting her to stay with him. But because she loved him, he wanted her to stay forever. He loved her back, he knew, but he was not quite sure in what capacity. It wasn't that of a father to a child. Though the age differences made such a relationship plausible, he had never looked at her in that light even once. Blood was blood, and to him, only blood was family. It wasn't that of friends. The age and species differences saw to it that they had very little in common at the base of everything. Sheep and wolves were not friends, though they could develop a mutual respect for one another. It wasn't that of a man to his lover. He had, and probably never would know her in that sense. The prospect of it was too frightening to him. Past mistakes in his family bloodline would no doubt seek to haunt him, and possibly spell his certain doom.

He loved her. He knew not how or why, but he loved her without question.

_Why love them?_

Because she was his Rin.

888888

Katsuro had hoped it would not have come to this.

If Rin had accepted him, then he could have protected her. He would have had a reason to turn away from the money, and keep her safe. If she would have become his lover, she could have never become his enemy. But it was too late to change anything, now.

It was an uneasy accord. General between general, man to man, demon to demon. But there was more to it than that. Betrayer to murderer. Enemy to enemy. West to East.

He would be there in time. After waking up with every piece of his body hurting in the dojo, he found himself to be alone. Quietly leaving and looking around for any witnesses, he saw them together in the tree. Actually, he saw only him in the tree, and could deduce from the way he was sitting that she was in his arm. Neither of them stirred as he scurried across the courtyard. He was back into the house to change, and then to the stable, where he grabbed his horse and left, headed East.

General Shouji had bribed him with a vast sum of money. It seemed the moth demon was certain that the so-called assassin had to be under Sesshomaru-sama's employ. Seeking out the arrogant and self-serving young general, Shouji made it certain that he would reward handsomely the person responsible for revealing the assassin's whereabouts. Katsuro merely nodded.

He didn't want to see any harm come to her. But he wanted more to see her laying in his bed, crying out his name. So his masculine pride won out over his paternal instincts. Besides, there was no guarantee that the assassin would be anything more than captured, probably to be used as a bargaining pawn in exchange for lands and services of the West. If anything, Sesshomaru would be the one left hurting from this ordeal, and undoubtedly forced into exile. The girl could easily be convinced to be taken under the protection of the strongest survivor of the war, meaning Katsuro still had a chance at realizing his desires.

Tomorrow morning, he would reveal Rin's secret to the very enemy she was slated to try and kill that same night. Katsuro would walk off with his handsome reward, and wait for the dust to settle before he resurfaced to claim the rest. If he was lucky, perhaps he could earn some small piece of power in the new Eastern empire, granting him and his little human woman security. That would be very nice.

And it wouldn't hurt to see Sesshomaru's face when Rin shunned him for his part in her betrayal. After all, if he hadn't punished Katsuro as far as he did, then maybe the general could have forgotten everything. Really, Sesshomaru only had himself to blame for everything. If he hadn't cared so much for a human, he wouldn't have been able to be exploited at all.

Katsuro spurred his horse faster, eager to set the wheels of his new life in motion.


	4. Chapter 4

_The Pearl_

Disclaimer: Surely by now you get it.

Chapter Four

_All a man can betray is his conscience_. --Joseph Conrad, _Under Western Eyes_

_There is no instance of a country having benefited from prolonged warfare_. --Sun-Tzu, _The Art of War_

8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8

"_**How will I know her?"**_

"_**Oh, you'll know her."**_

888888888

General Shouji loved women. Particularly the pretty ones. So of course he was quite pleased when he learned that the assassin plaguing the four lands was a young, pretty girl. Really, there couldn't have been a more ideal situation.

The wheels began turning in his head, designing the intricate trap that would earn him the company of this little rogue.

He had been born into a long line of notorious soldiers, giving him a well-known family name, but a dubious legacy. Soon after Shouji had enlisted, his father became mentally unstable. Some said it was due to the long period of peace between the lands. The aged general knew how to do little else but fight in wars, and became increasingly belligerent as time progressed at a stagnate pace. He began killing servants on a whim, then progressed to his soldiers, and finally his wife. Sadly, the other thing he knew how to do well was occupy his bed with as many females as possible. In circles where the general was better known there had been whisperings that a brain fever, given to him by one of his lovers, caused his madness. Whatever the cause, the general had died disgracefully by his own hand, hanging himself stark naked from the balcony above his shiro's main entrance.

Family honor besmirched, the young Shouji was left alone to mend what had been done. He climbed the ranks with a fervent diligence, surpassing his peers both physically and mentally. By the age of 75, he became the youngest captain the Eastern army had seen, and by the age of 100 the youngest general. An entire battalion was placed under his direct command, and he was actively given new recruits to train and further strengthen his ranks. He worked to rebuild his reputation with the Eastern lord. Shouji took under his wings a dozen tea-house girls; all were butterfly demons that had fallen on hard luck. He gave them food and lodging, and in return they spun and wove silk garments of unmatched design. These fineries were then humbly submitted to Lord Takeda as tribute, reintroducing Shouji as a wealthy and dutiful vassal. The Lady Mieko took a great liking to these garments, and ordered them on high priority for herself and her ladies in waiting. This favor earned Shouji many visits to the Eastern palace, as a guest of honor no less.

He had worked hard for everything that he had. And now, some human girl was going to attempt to take it all away. _How very amusing_. And yet it also angered him; the arrogance of the Western lord knew no bounds. That the dog demon assumed his little pet could be of an equal match to a soldier of superior skills was insulting. It would be all the more sweet to present the pompous bastard with his minion at the end of a leash.

Still, as hard as Shouji had worked to overcome the disgrace his father had wrought, he had been cursed with certain aspects of the old man's personality. A short temper, penchant for gambling, and fondness of drink plagued the moth demon regularly, but he managed to keep a tight rein on these vices. It was his love of women that was the worst to control. Granted, he had more discriminate tastes than his father when it came to selecting bedfellows; the more exotic, the more erotic. But it wasn't the time spent under the sheets that drove him to seek out female company. Shouji was a very successful flirt. His cunning words and unabashed good-looks were all he needed to weaken any woman to her lowest senses. They would become like puppets under his control. Some he bedded, some he threaded on, and some he sought to break their hearts. It was a jolly game, and he would always, always surface as the winner.

Shouji put on his game face.

888888888

"_Do not be careless, and do not underestimate him."_

"_You talk like I'm gonna come home in pieces."_

888888888

Rin loved camping. Particularly with Jakken. So of course she was quite pleased to learn that, in order to catch up to the caravan, she had to spend the night in the woods with the slimy, noisy imp. Really, she couldn't imagine anything else she'd rather do.

The wheels began turning in her head, plotting the witty insults that would constructively fill her time with the little toad.

"Jak-ken-sa-ma, Jak-ken-sa-ma!" Rin sang.

"What?" the imp groused.

"Why are you so green?"

Jakken threw up his little clawed hands. "Do you _ever_ tire of that stupid question?" he screeched.

Rin giggled. "I'll never tire of it, as long as you keep responding to it."

"Just shut up and eat your dinner, stupid worthless piece of---"

"Shit!" Rin yelled, spitting out the mouthful of stew she had just tried to ingest. "What in the hell did you put in this stuff? Lizard?"

The dragon, who had been their proverbial pack-mule on this journey, raised Ah's head to investigate the noise. From his spot on the ground, Un rumbled the equivalent of, _What's going on?_ to which Ah growled, _They're at it again._ Un flicked his ears in annoyance. _Bipeds_, he groaned.

"It's all I could find!" Jakken shouted back. "You were too busy taking that ever-so-important bath, and you know this Jakken can't hunt."

"You can fish!" the girl accused. "You could have tried fishing in the river where I took my ever-so-important bath!" Rin angrily dumped the contents of her bowl back into the pot. Then she had a clever idea. Using the hem of her shirt to protect her hands, she lifted the stew from the fire and began carting it away.

"What are you doing?" Jakken squawked.

Rin did not reply. Instead, she placed the pot in front of Aun, and lovingly coaxed the dragon into investigating the food in question. Ah, the more impulsive of the two, had his nose directly in it first, and promptly sneezed before jerking away. Un, the more inquisitive one, snuffled the stew carefully before nibbling a small taste. He didn't react as strongly as Ah had, but he quickly chomped on some dry leaves to eliminate the wretched aftertaste.

"See?" Rin cried triumphantly. "Even Aun hates it."

Jakken was already in transit by the time Un was taking his turn at the trough, carrying a wooden spoon in his greasy hand like a weapon. "Gimme that!" he insisted. "It can't be all that bad."

"Oh yes it can," Rin warned, watching the toad shovel a goodly portion into his beak.

Jakken, for the most part, remained unaffected by the food. However, it was only under a great deal of self-control that he was able to maintain his ambivalent façade. _Don't chew, just swallow!_ he coached himself. But when the aftertaste started to take effect, he couldn't help the gag reflex that resulted.

"Okay!" he choked. "This Jakken gets the point!"

Rin smirked. "Well, 'this Jakken' should have just asked me to scrounge up some decent meat, before I took my bath."

"I can take care of things like that on my own!" Jakken angrily insisted. "Easy women's work; this is nothing compared to fighting."

"Then why didn't you ask the WOMAN to do the WOMAN'S work?" Rin admonished.

"Because you're not a woman!" Jakken spat back.

Rin let out a barking laugh, and threw up her hands in amazement. Looking down the front of her shirt for show, she said in a mocking tone, "I have two counter points to your previous statement."

Jakken shook his head in frustration. "No, no, no," he grumped, "you misinterpreted this Jakken's words."

There was no stop to this absurdity! Rin pitched backwards and lay flat on the forest floor, groaning in disgust. "You misinterpreted this Jakken's words," she mimicked in a shrill voice.

The toad delivered a swift kick to the girl's shin with his clawed toes. It made her sit up and glare at him. Having obtained his intended objective, the demon ignored Rin's consternation.

"What this Jakken meant to say," he amended slowly, "is that you are above this sort of thing."

"Huh?" Rin grunted dumbly.

"You're the ward, I'm the retainer," the toad explained, rolling his eyes.

The girl furrowed her eyebrows and began shaking her head. "No, no, no, that's not it at all. You've made me get my own meals unaided in the past, and you certainly have never addressed me as being above you in anything other than height."

"Well…," Jakken stammered, "that is because…you were younger then, and helpless…and you needed to be treated like that so you would learn to be self-confident." To accentuate his off-the-cuff recovery, Jakken nodded forcibly and fixed his gaze on the girl.

Rin rolled her eyes. "Jakken-sama," she sighed, "this morning you threw an orange at my head and told me that I was an over-confident mule. There's something you're not saying to me."

The toad gulped, and looked to the side. "I know nothing of which you speak," he squeaked.

The girl raised an eyebrow. Aun turned both of its heads forward to join in the game of stare-down.

For a while, the imp merely stood in place and trembled as he looked wildly around. But then he began to make brief moments of eye-contact with his audience, and started making little nervous croaks. When Rin let out a heavy sigh, Jakken suddenly snapped.

"Is it so wrong for this Jakken to want to make sure you are well fed before throwing yourself into a proverbial snake-pit, you ungrateful girl!" he yelled.

Rin softened her features. "Why would you want to do that all of a sudden?" she asked gently. Gradually, she moved onto her hands and knees and began crawling towards her companion. When she was right in front of him, she stopped and kneeled so that she was sitting on her feet. She stared at him again, but his time with a small smile.

Jakken shoved his hands into his sleeves and whirled around sideways. "I just wanted to make sure you had a good meal before you left," he muttered. He paused to look down at his feet and ponder his statement. Then he turned and was back in the girl's face, jabbing a claw at her accusingly. "This isn't going to be a walk in the park type deal, human!" he scolded. "You're going to be in a great deal of danger."

The girl smoothly put her hand overtop the slimy fist in front of her, and relaxed it into holding her hand back. "I'll be okay," she soothed. "There's never been a mission yet where there wasn't any danger, and I've been just fine."

"But this is different!" Jakken insisted.

"How?" the girl pleaded.

The demon huffed angrily. "It just is," he pouted. "It's much too risky and I'm surprised Sesshomaru-sama is sending you at all."

Rin softly laughed. She recalled the night before, when Sesshomaru had finally come down from the tree and escorted her to her room.

"Sleep," he commanded. "You will have need of it."

"Alright," she had chuckled. "I just need to get a few more things packed, and then I'll be in bed." Then she had turned, and grabbed the screen door of her room, sliding it open. "Goodnight," she cheerfully acknowledged, but the word got stuck in her throat when she gasped.

It was only for a second—the briefest of moments that could have easily been overlooked if the viewer was not careful. But she saw in his eyes a glimmer of pride, quickly aimed in her direction before he turned and walked away. She couldn't help but smile.

"Have a little faith in me, Jakken-sama," Rin teased amicably. "I'm not such a weak human like you think." She turned to the fire, and put on her best mask to hide her fears.

888888888

"_**So you say she's human?"**_

"_**Well, not exactly."**_

888888888

A caravan of human nobles was scheduled to pay a visit to the general, and pay homage in exchange for his continued protection. _Of course the little vixen must have known that_, Shouji realized with amusement. _Pretty and clever_.

He would make it a point to get better acquainted with her, before he completely humiliated her.

From what he'd gathered in the accounts of those who survived the assassin's attacks, she struck at night. It depended on how heavily guarded the residence was in order to estimate the total lives lost. In one instance, she had managed to get away with killing only her intended targets, but that had been in an open field. Any effort to pursue her usually amounted in more bodies. She was silent, thorough, and no one knew what she even looked like.

_Pretty, clever, _and_ mysterious._ The very thought made his blood stir.

He had only that day to plan. Everything had to be perfect, so that it would not tip off the assassin to the imminent danger awaiting her. Not too many guards, but just enough to make sure all bases were covered. And of course, he had to be the one to officially capture her, reveal her identity, and disgrace her in front of his demon army. Everything was still on the drawing table as far as exact tactics went, but one thing remained certain: the Eastern Lord would know nothing of this.

Shouji was no fool. He knew the bargaining power he would possess once he captured Sesshomaru's little tool. He could ask for anything, and be granted it. To waste such a power on Takeda-sama would be a crime against common sense. Besides, the general felt he had every right to monopolize his claim on the assassin; after all, it was his doorstep she was coming to, and no one else's. And he was the only one who knew her little secret.

It had been surprising, at first, but later when he considered it the idea seemed rather obvious. The dog demon rulers of the West also had their vices: unquenchable thirst for power, blind desire for undisputed strength, and human women.

He'd heard the rumors. It all started back eight or nine years ago, after the destruction of the half-demon known as Naraku. Sesshomaru had returned to the Western Lands to strengthen his father's former empire. Everyone thought this to be rather queer, as the demon lord had previously seemed oblivious to his title and lands. Now, he seemed oblivious to his previous wanderlust, and set about building an army unlike any that had been seen. But what really sent the tongues wagging was the salacious rumor that Sesshomaru had brought more than a stellar work-ethic home with him.

Servants in the Western palace had seen _things_.

Flowers were suddenly appearing in vases on tables and ledges throughout the house. Colorful silk with elaborate prints and patterns were being ordered. Something small could be heard skittering about at odd hours. And very often, a small voice humming a nameless tune could be faintly heard coming from the demon lord's room.

It didn't take long for the rumors to flesh themselves out. Now everyone was saying that Sesshomaru had, in the course of his wanderings, picked up a human pet for an undisclosed reason. The whims of the anti-social dog demon were both erratic and enigmatic, so there was little ground to base any truth of this story. But many were convinced despite the uncertainty, that the Lord of the Western Lands was harboring a human child behind closed doors.

Had it been a full grown woman, the story would have ended differently. The Western Lands would have been attacked by the East and South, citing that Sesshomaru had become weak like his father in fondness for human mates. At that point in time, the outcome would have been grim for the dog demon, because his army, while impressive, still remained incomplete. But a child was another thing entirely. How could something that fragile thrive in an environment as hostile and oppressing as the Western palace? It would surely perish, and Sesshomaru would appear to be slightly eccentric instead of vulnerable. People forgot about it.

Now, Shouji was faced with the undisputed truth that, not only had Sesshomaru allowed a human to reside with him, but he encouraged her development into a healthy adult. A healthy, well-developed adult at that.

What was the word Katsuro had used to describe her? _Ah, yes. "Delicious."_

Let her come then. He would be more than ready.

Adjusting his armor for the last time, General Shouji stepped through his front entrance and into the sunlight. He squinted briefly as he found his footing on the porch, before clicking his heels together at attention. Greeting the first of the pitiful vassals with a curt bow, the demon honed his mind away from his body and into the crowd. He would find her. It was only a matter of time.

888888888

"_Remember that you still are not exactly human, despite appearances."_

"_I understand. I'll be careful, don't worry."_

888888888

In the month before she killed Setsuna, Rin had worked undercover as a handmaiden to a human noblewoman named Kwannon. Of course, it was from her that Rin acquired (meaning "stole") the regal costume she used to disguise herself when she met the demon prince. _Pretty clever._

She had made it a point to become quite invaluable with her human mistress in order to stay on top of the Eastern Lands gossip.

From her time spent in service of Lady Kwannon, she established a legitimate relationship within the network of human vassals of the East that could be called upon at a later time if needed. Thankfully, it paid off. She had managed to run away from her lady's service dramatically, incensing Kwannon to the point where she put out a reward for the girl's return. It was Jakken's job to perform the service of returning Rin and collect the bounty on her.

_Pretty clever _and_ simple._ The plan's execution would proceed without a hitch.

She would have the rest of the day in which to return into the good graces of her lady. Naturally with the upcoming journey, all hands possible were needed. Any sort of justice for her truancy could be delayed until afterwards. For now, she would accompany the Lady Kwannon and her entourage to the Eastern palace. It became easy to fall back into her old disguise of an ordinary human. The clothes she wore were pedestrian, and she made sure to keep her head down and her hair loose in order to hide her face. She would appear inconsequential, but she still had her doubts about being able to sneak in undetected. One thing remained certain: she had to stay invisible until the last possible second, when she would strike.

Rin was no fool. She knew the pearl would be a liability in the company of humans. Demons could taste auras, and though the pearl's aura was quite faint, it was still noticeable. The best she could do was stay hidden, lay low, and remain inconspicuous. If anything suspicious did happen, or if she even suspected that she had been detected, she _had_ to get out of there. The plan would have gone to waste, but she would at least be alive to try again another day. After all, it was her neck on the line, and not Sesshomaru's. And they were the only ones who knew her little secret.

"Humans!" Jakken shouted.

It must have been quite a sight to behold. From out of the woods, a tiny green man waddled through the grass and boldly approached the caravan. In tow behind him was a human girl, bound at the wrists and being tugged along. The girl had her head down in shame, but it was indeterminable if her shame was for being presented as a prisoner, or for being presented as a prisoner of a frog.

The carriages stopped, and curtains were shyly pushed aside from windows so that the nobles inside could have a peek at the scene. From where she stood, Rin heard the unmistakable cry of Kwannon, who had recognized the girl in a matter of moments. An escort on horseback was summoned over to the lady's carriage, and then stepped over to the motley pair.

"Is this yours?" Jakken demanded, tugging the rope and sending Rin tripping forward.

The horseman cleared his throat. "Lord and Lady Hojo thank you for your troubles in returning this errant servant," he droned self-importantly. The man moved the reins into one hand and hunched forward with his free hand extended.

Jakken took a few steps back. "Oh no!" he cried. "There is a reward on her head and don't you try to pretend any different!"

The guard's face suddenly twisted with confusion. He sat up, and swiveled his head back and forth between his master's carriage, and the indignant imp. A hand finally stuck out the window and beckoned the perplexed messenger over. A brief exchange of words occurred, and the guard was handed something before he pivoted his horse and returned to the strange bounty-hunter.

"My Lord and Lady Hojo thank you once again, and will offer you this purse of eight gold coins in exchange for your hostage." The guard leaned forward once more, this time holding out a small brown bag.

"Eight!" the toad screeched. "Why, that's hardly worth it at all! Do you know how much trouble it was to catch this errant thing?"

Rin nudged Jakken with her toe, making him turn around to face her. She glared. _Don't press our luck_, she warned with her eyes. Jakken sniffed and pretended to not understand.

"Look at her even now," he insisted. "giving me that evil eye! I had to chase her down for three days, mucking through swamps and dark forests. And she put up quite a fight, but I was easily able to subdue her once I managed to get my hands on her. Little savage!" To accentuate his adventuresome tale, Jakken waved his hands around in the air the entire time he had been talking. Once finished, he crossed his arms over his chest and huffed. "I want twelve, and no less!"

The guard hesitated, once more looking back to his master for a cue. No hand came out. The guard turned back to the imp, and shrugged out of a lack of any better response.

Jakken grinned slyly and narrowed his eyes. "Might I congratulate you then, on your charitable donation to the next teahouse I come to? I will be sure to let the proprietor know that it was the Hojo clan who sent this fine girl to his services, and assure him there are plenty more where she came from."

The hand shot out and forcefully beckoned its messenger over. The horse jolted from the sudden movement, and skidded nervously over to the carriage. This time, the verbal exchange was much shorter, consisting of a shouted, "Just give him this and tell him to leave!"

The guard returned, holding out the heavier purse. At this, Jakken eagerly extended his clawed hand, and caught the bag as it was tossed to him. He made a show of counting the coins, and after double-checking that there were in fact twelve, nodded his head and held out Rin's lead in exchange.

"Wait," a cold female voice interrupted. She had left the carriage and was walking towards them.

Both males turned to identify the speaker. Rin kept her head low.

"Give her to me," Kwannon said coolly. "She is mine, after all."

Jakken shrugged. "It's no difference to me," he scoffed, handing the lead to the lady instead.

Kwannon sniffed and gripped the rope tightly. Once it was firmly in her hand, she jerked it forward, making Rin almost trip and fall at the lady's feet. The girl quickly composed herself once more, and lowered her face away from her lady's gaze.

The noblewoman snorted inelegantly. "Look at me," she sharply commanded.

Slowly, Rin raised her eyes.

The small action was greeted with an open-handed blow to Rin's face, snapping her neck sideways. The girl had to grit her teeth and concentrate on her breathing. She wanted nothing more than to beat the pompous bitch unconscious, but it would jeopardize everything she had worked to cultivate thus far. Slowly, she returned to her previous position with her head bent down.

"There was no call for that!" Jakken shouted angrily. He stomped forward a few steps to the lady, trying to assert himself.

Kwannon laughed. In defiance, she yanked down on Rin's lead, sending her crashing to her hands and knees.

"What do you care?" the lady sneered. "It's no difference to you."

Rin subtly turned her head towards her faithful retainer. "I'll see you in three days," she whispered, smiling. Then she made a great show of rising to her feet once more, head lowered further in humiliation.

Kwannon smiled, finally satisfied. "Come," she barked, turning and walking back towards her carriage. She stopped, waiting for something. Looking over her shoulder, she shot a heated glare in the guard's direction.

Apparently feeling the singeing of the lady's eyes on his back, the guard jerked the reins and swiveled his horse sideways. He looked down at the toad once more. "My Lord and Lady thank---"

"Get over here NOW!" Kwannon shrieked.

The guard nearly jumped out of his saddle, and spurred his horse into cantering the short distance to the carriage.

"Tie her to the back," the lady instructed. "She'll walk."

The guard took the rope from the lady and paced to the rear of the carriage. Satisfied, Lady Kwannon stepped back into the coach and slammed the door behind her. The guard swiftly knotted Rin's lead to a board on the roof, then returned to his position in the formation of escorts. Someone from the front of the line called out, and reins snapped in unison as the horses stomped back into movement.

Jakken watched them go, not wanting to let Rin out of his sight until the last possible second. When she came into his view and was safe from being noticed by anyone else, she raised her head. Then she winked, and stuck out her pink tongue playfully, before resuming her role of the cowering servant. He watched them follow the road, until they disappeared under the crest of a hill.

"Stupid girl," he assured himself in a shaky voice. Reluctantly, he turned and left.

888888888

"_**How does she do it?"**_

"_**The pearl. She wears it around her neck."**_

888888888

He scanned them as they entered, pretending to acknowledge their bows with regality. Shouji never underestimated his enemies. He fully expected her to be the one person he failed to notice, and that would be precisely how he would find her.

She had come as a demon hime when she attacked Setsuna. The young man was still callow when it came to women, and any attention received was golden in his eyes. So the assassin played his naïve judgment like a sanshin, and the song became a requiem.

She acted as a hunter when she killed the chief Eastern advisor and his wife when they were riding in the woods. They had gone to the forest for some fresh air, in full regalia and pomp naturally. The horses were nothing better than parade ponies, and had no instinct when it came to sensing danger. The arrows were nocked and shot within seconds of one another; the poison was strong, but the first hits had to be in a major artery to ensure the drug's effectiveness. Two more shots apiece, for good measure, and they would not be found until that night. While there had been no surviving witnesses to this encounter, the certainty of the assassin's guilt was concrete.

She had arrived as a "gift" when she had killed General Ichiro. The general liked owning things, and living things in particular. He did not keep servants, but slaves that were prisoners of his war efforts. A sentinel at the gate had found her sniffing about, and brought her in to his general in hopes it would garner him some favor. She had been a pretty little thing with wide, frightened eyes. Naturally, Ichiro wanted to best exploit her apparent innocence by making her his attendant in the bath. When they found his headless body sprawled out on the deck above the bath, it became apparent that Ichiro had additionally been beaten severely. Whether it was before or after death was not certain; apparently, the general had thought himself to be taming a mouse instead of a dragon.

And then there were the countless disguises she wore in the South: a miko, a mother, a sword smith, a wounded child, and a courtesan. How would she then come for him? His weaknesses were well apparent to himself, and he worked hard to compensate for them. However, they remained weaknesses for a reason—he wasn't always willing to restrain himself. Perhaps she would appear in the form she frequented, of a pretty girl out to seduce her victim. But that would be too obvious. She had to know that it would instantly reveal herself, and he knew she was far too clever for that.

Already, though he had never once laid eyes on her, he felt he knew her quite intimately. After all, she seemed to share a similar mindset to his own: calculating and deadly. She would not let herself be seen, so he was given no choice but to feel her out, a prospect quite appealing to his male arrogance.

_Patience_, he reminded himself, watching yet another family parade their riches before him in tribute. _Patience._

"Ishiguro," the demon herald announced, identifying the next clan approaching the stage.

What weapons would she use? She had blown Setsuna's place apart with a good deal of black powder. Moth demons were not keen in their sense of smell; touch was their strongest sensory organ. It was undoubtedly easy for her to have slipped past every defense then, as long as she kept everything hidden from sight. In addition to that, she had brought her own sword and horse to the scene. Swords seemed to be her weapon of choice; the majority of the deaths had been by decapitation. There were the few that stood out from the rest, the poisoned arrows being one. There was a Southern political advisor that had been gagged and strangled with a bolt of red silk. The nephew of the Southern lord had his head bashed in with a rock, while his wife apparently watched before she too suffered the same. The most extreme had to have been the general she had gutted. Rather gruesome, from what he had heard. She would need something easily carried and easily concealed, so he was betting on the sword again.

"Narita."

When would she attack? That was simple. All of her attacks save for the one in the forest had taken place at night. That matter had already been addressed in his plans.

"Yubari."

How would she flee the scene of the crime? He wouldn't put it past her to try and blow his house up; with as many carts and carriages that were trafficking through, she could possibly smuggle something combustible in. But it was unlikely. Unless she brought her own horse again, or managed to steal one on the way out, she would be running on foot. He raised his eyebrow and questioned her at this. There was no forest surrounding his shiro for a full li, give or take. Flat terrain was crucial in training numerous battalions of soldiers day in and day out. This left her at a distinct disadvantage; with no cover, she could swiftly be pursued from the air. Shoujii would have to figure out that equation later.

"Hojo."

The moth demon was dressed in resplendent steel armor with gold inlay in order to appear prestigious. It never hurt to remind the vassals of how rich he was, all thanks to them. The shirt he wore was navy blue with white overlapping squares, while his pants were plain black. Of course, to further impress his superiority over the humans, he had his wings fully extended. He was quite proud of them, for he knew they were pleasing to look at despite the fact that he could not see them for himself fully. They were blue like a summer sky two days before rain: warm in tone but bright in hue. The tips were brushed with black that dripped down the sides, meeting at the junction of his spine and pooling there like ink. He always made sure to choose clothes that accentuated his demon attributes, giving him a regal appearance even on the battlefield. While it was not strange for Shoujii to appear before humans with his wings, he took his appearance a step further and stretched his antennae into the air as well. Humans tended to find that feature unattractive, but he wasn't concerned about how it made him appear; he would need them to help his search.

The one feature that he could admittedly do without was the scar on his face. In a battle with a snake demon, Shoujii had been careless and was hit over the eye by the demon's scaled tail. The scales left a grid of incisions in their wake, which never fully healed. It did add credential to his status as a seasoned soldier, but he would have liked it better if he could be seen as a brave fighter who hadn't been needlessly wounded in a fight.

"Tanaka."

Shoujii jolted; he had picked up on something just now. Without moving his head, he darted his eyes about, frantically searching for the source of the strange power he was detecting. It was faint, and it was steadily fading, but it was most definitely there. Swiveling his antennae in the direction the aura was coming from, he shut down every function of his body and stretched his sense of touch as far as it could go. Invisible hands were fluttering in ribbons through the air, grasping for whatever _it_ was that had jolted down his spine moments before. He was close—so close.

The humans at his feet were calling his name, begging his attention to their offering. He couldn't stop to oblige them, or he would lose his target. _Patience_, he demanded of himself, and closed his eyes.

It was getting stronger as he pushed himself further. The cold boundary between the untainted air and the aura had already been breeched. _Where? Where?_ he thought frantically. The aura grew warmer now; he was within the second shell. The center was just beyond his senses. _Where!_

He slammed into the cold, hard wall of the aura's innermost barrier all of a sudden. _There,_ he tensed, opening his eyes. His senses were gripping onto his desired target firmly; he need only confirm it by sight and he would know who she was.

_There_.

888888888

"_Be safe."_

"_I'll be home in three days. Make sure Kado is taken care of, for me."_

888888888

Rin had managed to get herself covered in dust from head to toe. Trailing behind the carriage for three hours had been responsible for her present state of filth. Much annoyed, she wondered why she had even bothered taking a bath the night before. Maybe she could have had a better dinner then.

No, that wasn't right. Jakken had tried his best. It truly warmed her heart in the rare times that the imp expressed genuine concern for her well-being of his own accord. There were of course the times he worried for her only because his own hide was at stake, but he had a place in his heart for her, and would reveal it at the moments she needed it most.

They had all slept together the night before; Rin snuggled against the dragon's belly, while Jakken propped himself against Un's neck. It had felt like old times almost. Sesshomaru's absence was keenly noticed, and each of the travelers felt quite put out because of it. Here they were, tromping through the woods like always, and he had to be behind a wall of papers planning political actions instead of randomly wandering. He had changed in their perceptions because of it, and none of them were quite sure how to digest this new truth.

Now she was alone. Now she was on her way to a mansion she'd never been to, with people she didn't know, to kill someone who had never done anything to her. There was not a time that she did not question her motivation before a job. She was a nervous wreck, filled with doubt enough to make her want to scream and run. What business did she have doing this sort of thing? Why couldn't she sit at home and sew, or whatever human females did to pass the time? Who did she think she was, assigning death like some god?

At night, the grisly scenes would haunt her in angry dreams. She was in them, standing in front of her previous victim, ready to deal the final blow. Except she wouldn't stop after that. She would keep slashing and hacking away at the body, slicing away any remnants of the poor soul's identity. The sword would be thrown aside then, and she would delve into the carcass with her bare hands. Gore caked under her fingernails. Her skin was slippery with blood and other fluids. The last move would be to bend over and tear a piece of flesh off with her mouth. And she could see herself from outside of her body, kneeling over the corpse with its heart in her teeth. She would wake up screaming then.

She wasn't a monster. She wasn't a demon. She was just a little girl.

The world Rin grew up in knew little of little girls. Takako-san had really been the only female she had interacted with on a personal level. It was the closest thing she had to a mother figure in her life. While Rin could remember her own mother, once she met Sesshomaru that memory became a cruel truth; mother was dead, and never coming back. Life, Rin's life, had to go on without her. She had no family, except for herself. She was all that would ever be left.

So she adapted. She changed, without really changing. She was Rin, but she was now Sesshomaru's Rin. There was no question in her mind regarding her allegiances to the dog demon; he'd saved her life, as she had tried to save his. They needed one another. It was strange, because Sesshomaru had need of a child as much as he needed the plague. Similarly, Rin had no need for a demon guardian; she had her pick of various human women who would graciously take her in. But she didn't want them. And he wanted her. They were together, and they were happy; that was enough.

When they returned to the Western Lands to set up housekeeping on the brink of world domination, Rin began to feel a gap fall between herself and her lord. He had less time to indulge her with. When he saw her, she was always met with pained features, as if he was slowly growing to pity her. As a child, she wanted nothing more than a friend. Rin resigned herself to then make friends with whoever was willing. The problem was, the only people around were demon soldiers.

Soldiers are interesting creatures. They can be quite cruel to one another, subjecting humiliations time and time again, and wake up the next morning still close friends. They understood what it was like to feel pain, but it never occurred to them that their opponents experienced it as well. It had to be like that. If for one second they contemplated the suffering of dying enemies, they would go mad. Death was not a crime, but a mission, meant to bring about the betterment of some all-powerful cause. In this case, the expansion of Sesshomaru's empire was reason enough to slaughter thoughtlessly. And this was the example set before Rin.

It wasn't murder, exactly. If she thought of it as murder, she would never be able to live with herself. Murder implied selfishness, and Rin was most certainly not doing this for herself. So she lived like a soldier, letting sincerity bead on her skin and never settle into her being. Her cause was all that she needed—it was reason enough.

But she was also a woman, and had to learn to use her femininity as a strength. She was poised, graceful, and charming out of armor. She could hold a fan as easily as a sword; hold a conversation as strongly as a sparring match. As a woman, Rin had a power that soldiers did not have, that would always render them helpless. They _wanted_ her. Because of that, she could have anything that she wanted, except for them. She knew that once she gave in to her emotions and fell in love, she would lose her greatest weapon. It would be that act which would render her just as vulnerable.

When Rin had first realized she loved Sesshomaru, she ran away. She stayed gone overnight, hating herself for feeling. Somehow, she expected love would never happen to her. Everything would exist in a state of neutrality, because the scale was balanced and didn't need to be tampered with. She couldn't be motivated by anything else but Sesshomaru's cause. But that night, it occurred to her how silly that idea really was. Nothing was able to remain unchanged forever. Rock eventually eroded from countless years of wind and rain. The moon changed phases every night it was in the sky. Children grew up. And she was looking at spending forever as a young woman, with a handsome demon as her companion. Why shouldn't she then love him? He would never love her in return, she was sure. But that was no reason to stop herself from caring for him. They were her emotions, and she had every right to them. They were not her weakness, or her strength. They were her cause.

In a world of demons and empires, emotion was the only thing Rin could say was truly her own.

"Ishiguro."

Right now, trailing behind some pompous family, she felt lonely. What she wouldn't give to have Jakken, or even Aun back at her side. What she wouldn't give to have Sesshomaru tell her to come home. She would continue to leave, and to kill, because it pleased him. Until he told her to stop, and he never would, she would fight under his command any way she could. That meant, for today at least, she was being led into a figurative snake pit.

The outer gate was heavily guarded, which was to be expected on such a day as this. She half-way expected there to be another wall after that, but the entrance spilled directly into the courtyard. Soldiers wandered about as if nothing special was happening. Some were training at sword play; Rin envied them. Anything would be better than being pulled humiliatingly behind a carriage. Her cheek still smarted from the smack she'd received. Perhaps, after she'd killed the general, she could pay her beloved lady a visit and bully her a little.

"Narita."

The caravan had basically stopped once inside, though it remained in formation. Family by family was being called up individually to present their gifts and hope they earned the protection of their demon guardian for at least another year. Sesshomaru did not indulge in such activities; but then again, Sesshomaru did not indulge himself with humans, no matter where they lived. The segmented pace allowed Rin to get a better look around the grounds, or at least as much of them as she could see.

"Yubari."

_One outer wall leading into an open field, and it looks like only one door out for the whole building_, she tallied in her head. All of this stood to be a great problem for her later when trying to escape. There was certainly no shortage of horses for her to choose from; at least she would not have to worry about speed across the field. The only weapon she had managed to bring in was a large dagger, but that would only be used as a last resort. With soldiers all around, she probably could pick up a spare sword or two without being noticed. If there was only one door, she could always make an exit of her own, through a window or a wall. It would be much more risky, but in a time of crisis she would have to take what she got.

"Hojo."

Rin had been so absorbed in the technical problems her situation posed, that she forgot the most obvious. The Hojo family was now presenting themselves before their general, laying out their gold, pieces of finely carved furniture, and samples of their rice that foretold of the many sacks they packed into a carriage to be added to the general's food storage later. And here she was, mouth agape, staring all around and not bothering to shield herself or the pearl.

She only had a moment to react. Shoujii was turning his head towards the party. He must not see her; if he did, then he would know even in the very back of his mind that she existed. In a desperate swoop, Rin dove under the carriage she was tied to, and waited for it to be safe.

"The Hojo clan offers its riches to you, Shoujii-sama, in hopes you will continue to protect us as we continue to serve you in return."

No sound. No acknowledgement. The Lord and Lady Hojo were still waiting on their knees in front of the demon general. Rin was ready to scream. Hesitantly, she peeked out from under her hiding place to see what was causing the delay.

Shoujii was obviously not focused on his current task of greeting his vassals. His eyes were glazed and unfocused, and his mind was somewhere distant. Rin held her breath, scared suddenly that he might have been able to hear even the smallest puffs of air from her lips.

After what felt like hours, the demon nodded in the slightest bit towards his audience. Bowing thankfully, the lord and lady then returned to their carriage to proceed on down the line to the stables, and then to the courtyard. If Kwannon had noticed Rin's absence, she certainly did not indicate it. More than likely, she was rather irked at having been overlooked for so long while she groveled humiliatingly. The wheels moved, and Rin decided just to be thorough, she would crawl under the frame for a few paces. She sighed. It felt good to breathe again. But she wasn't completely relieved. Rin kept looking back, sensing that something was following her. She brushed it off to her intense paranoia, but it tingled in the base of her spine all the same.

"Tanaka."

Rin stood finally and brushed the tan dust from her clothes. She needed to look low and humble, but there was no excuse for being filthy. A noblewoman's attendant would have better poise than that. But grace and poise were quickly forgotten when Rin felt a cold hand grasping around her neck.

She let a soft cry escape her lips as she whirled around to fight her attacker off. Whoever it was had every intent of grabbing her necklace. But there was no one there, and no hand. Eyes searching wildly about, and a cold sweat beading on her skin, Rin felt ashamed and utterly frightened all at once. Something _had_ touched her, she was sure.

It was withdrawing now, whatever it had been. She could feel her nerves begin to settle back beneath her skin, and her whole body drooped as she relaxed. If she wasn't around so many people, she might have started to cry. Every iota of sense in her head screamed for her to leave, and go home and hang up her little soldier mantle to live happily ever after as a shadow in Sesshomaru's house. But she bit her tongue, and steeled her breath in order to hold the tears in. She had to be brave; she couldn't run home in fear. It would probably get her killed. There was no turning back now. The mission had to push forward with caution. Someone knew exactly where she was.

_Here._

888888888

"_**You have been immensely helpful."**_

"**_That's nice. And you promised not to harm her, remember."_**

"_**I did. I will not go back on that, rest assured."**_

"**_Good. When do I get the money?"_**

"**_In time. But first tell me, and I ask only because so few have had the honor, have you ever seen the silk web of a moth demon?"_**

"_**No, but I hear it's something."**_

_**Shouji smiled. "That it is."**_

**_Katsuro was bound tightly in the silken strands before he could cry out. His skin melted from his flesh before he could try to struggle. His bones were liquefied before he could exhale._**

**_Shouji snipped the end of the web with his fangs, then wiped his mouth. "You never told me what you think," he laughed mockingly._**

_**And Katsuro was dead, so he could not say.**_

888888888

Rin remembered the first time she was taught how to put on make-up. She had been sitting in Takako-san's dressing room, watching the regal demoness paint thin, green lines just above the natural blue markings she wore on her eye-lids. When she had finished, she traded what was in her hands for a different clay dish and brush. This time, she painted a deep red on both of her lips. It reminded Rin of the color of blood, or at least her own blood. Demon blood was different than human blood. She didn't know about Takako-san, but she had seen Sesshomaru's, and it was pure black.

"Why are you doing that, Takako-san?" the teenaged Rin had asked in wonderment. The finished product was indeed gorgeous. The little girl had not thought it possible for her demon friend to look any more beautiful than she already was.

Takako laughed gently, then beckoned the girl to come sit beside her. Eagerly, Rin bounded over and scooted tightly against her teacher, ready to have new wisdom imparted to her young ears. The demoness cleared her throat, and then picked up a new brush and dish; this one had a white paste in it.

"There are three things that all living creatures share," Takako explained solemnly. She dipped the brush in the white paste, then tilted Rin's face with her hand and looked at the girl appraisingly. Then she started to brush down from the top of Rin's forehead, down the bridge of her nose, and stopping at her upper lip. "Every living thing must be born, and to continue life they then must mate, and finally they must die," she murmured thoughtfully, continuing to paint Rin's face. "But there are two experiences that only women go through, bringing us closer together as sisters. The first, naturally, is giving birth."

Rin was blushing fiercely from Takako's mention of the words "mate," and "giving birth." She was still beginning to learn about the mechanics of a woman's body in comparison with a man's. It was what Sesshomaru had wanted of her, before she was allowed to train with his soldiers. She had heard many crude comments in regards to sex hanging around the troops, but never had any sort of knowledge to understand why exactly they were considered crude. Now even looking at some of the men made her face flare hot into a deep flush; not because of what they had said, but because of her own thoughts in regards to the topic. Men looked _different_ to her, now. She was not entirely comfortable with the metamorphosis, but it was secretly exciting too.

Takako had finished with the white paint and set it down on her vanity. Next, she picked up some black paint, and continued on with her lecture.

"The second thing that all women share is make-up," the demoness said with a gentle smile. She traced the black along the edge of Rin's eyelids, and a little past the corners of her eyes onto her temples.

Rin raised her eyebrow and quirked her mouth. This made Takako laugh.

"Don't look so disgusted, little one," she cheerfully admonished. The final touches would come from the red paint, which she was brandishing now with a steady and well-practiced hand. "Now keep your mouth open just a bit, and don't move."

Rin complied. She fluttered her eyes closed as she relaxed the muscles of her face. Something cold and wet was being dragged across her mouth. Takako continued speaking.

"Putting on make-up is a ritual that all women share, though all have a different way of going about it. For instance, humans tend to wear much more than demons, but that is probably because they are without any natural markings to add to their appearances. There," she sighed, pulling away. She then put down everything to pick up a polished bronze mirror, and held it up for the girl to look in.

Rin gasped at the face she saw. For a second, she thought herself to be looking through a window, instead of her own reflection. The person she saw was much older looking, and very pretty. Her entire face had been painted white, including over her eyebrows and down her neck from her jawbone a little. Her eyes looked hooded and sultry; never had she imagined she could appear so mysterious and alluring. The final touch had been the red on her lower lip alone; her upper lip had been painted white.

The girl pushed a slow breath from her mouth, struggling to take in the drastic change in her features. What would people think if they saw her like this?

As if she could read minds, Takako smiled and lowered the mirror to look full on at the girl. "You look beautiful," she cooed, "like a hime."

A year later, Rin would learn the flip-side to her lesson. As women were all given to produce life, men were given to take it away. Killing was a deep bond shared between males of all species for many reasons. It proved their strength, protected those they cared about, and eliminated any threats to their own well-being or egos. Caught between the world she was born into, and the other in which she had been re-born, Rin practiced both rituals with the grace of ease. Both were part of her natural identity.

If she sat and thought about it too long, she would frighten herself over which part came to the surface the most.

But it was times like these that her killer instincts became priceless, for she was trapped between the proverbial rock and hard place. To begin with, she did not have a sword.

Servants only mingled with servants at social gatherings for nobility. Rin was able to remain safely hidden for the duration of the day. As for staying behind after all of the humans had left, she had the stodgy manners of the nobility to thank. Kwannon would know better than to make a scene of Rin's disappearance, especially after she bragged about her capture to the other noblewomen during the day. When Rin did not appear at the time the Hojo party was to be leaving, Kwannon quieted her rage and ordered the carriage onward. If the girl stayed behind with the demons, her death was assured. If she had managed to escape the castle walls and back into the wide world, then she could stay. The Lady Hojo could always comfort herself with the image of the little servant girl starving to death without any means to support herself. If she dared to come back, she would be killed without question. Either way, in Kwannon's mind the situation panned out in an untimely death for Rin, and that was suitable enough.

Rin managed to sneak into the house about the time the humans began packing up and departing the castle grounds. With the commotion, she easily entered the building undetected and began to scout out the premises to plan the base of her operations. It was to her delight that she found a great deal of weaponry adorning the walls of the shiro; however, it turned out to be nothing more than adornment, for the blades were dull and their only function was to look impressive. All she had to rely on was the long dagger she had brought on her own, and that had been her worst case scenario resort. It would leave her with little option but to stay unseen at all costs. There would be no fighting through swarms of soldiers, and no grand escape. Stealth became Rin's new tactic, and she adjusted her plans accordingly.

She found Shoujii's room quite easily. It was positioned at the center of the house, with only one door and no windows. The room itself was quite large and impressively furnished, which would allow great cover for stalking through the shadows towards her prey. All she needed to do after that was wait for the house to retire.

Rin positioned herself on one of the wider rafters in the ceiling above and directly opposite from the bedroom. Years of practice had given her an excellent sense of balance, and as such Rin stretched out her body along the beam and permitted herself to doze lightly in order to be less fatigued when it came time to act. Another advantage to this was that as she slept, so did the pearl. Her aura would be completely extinguished and undetectable; as long as she remained out of sight, she would be completely out of mind. Her body was conditioned to wake at the slightest change of lighting in her environment. Once the night lamps were lit, she would be ready.

In her fragile sleep, Rin dreamed of being in the tree like the night before. The only thing that was different, she noted in passing, was that this time, Sesshomaru had two hands.

888888888

"_Why are you holding me?"_

"_You were irrational. You needed to be controlled."_

"_But why like this?"_

"_It has been this Sesshomaru's understanding that you respond well to someone's undivided attention."_

"_I do. But first, tell me why you felt the best course of action would be to sweep me up into the branches of a very tall tree, instead of sitting me down safely on the ground?"_

"_You needed to be held."_

_Rin smiled. "I did."_

_There was a lifetime that passed between their eyes. There was a sudden death of their bodies due to lack of breath. There was a fleeting moment when they saw past the skin and sank their claws into the meat of each other's souls._

_Sesshomaru sniffed haughtily, effectively dispersing the atmosphere of whatever it was that had been happening. "Why do you care to know such things?"_

_And Rin was in love, so she could not say._

888888888

Shoujii remembered the first time he had killed a woman. It had been a human woman; demonesses were much harder to kill than one would think. A female's claws and fangs were sharpened to a needle-like precision that devastated whatever part of her attacker they touched. But human women were weak, and tended to scream instead of fight. At least, they didn't appear to be fighting. Sure they kicked and thrashed about, but without any real strength behind their movements, very little was accomplished. He had been forty, and bringing the peasant girl down had been a thrill that threatened to obsess within his blood. The sheer power of it all made him want to do it again, and again. So he did. It was his mother who put a stop to his rampage.

"Why do you interfere, Haha-ue?" Shoujii snarled venomously. His honored mother had torn him forcibly away from the corpse of a sixteen year old villager who had very shapely hips that proved to be extraordinarily sweet to the taste of her flesh.

His Haha-ue frowned and swiped Shoujii across the chest with her claws. The young demon jolted backwards with a hiss and clutched his new wounds furiously. "Choosing prey specifically because of its weaknesses is not right," the demoness snarled. "Human women and children are beneath you, and it shames me to see you demeaning yourself like this."

Shoujii gritted his teeth. As much as he hated to admit it, Haha-ue was right. But the butterfly demon obviously did not understand or appreciate the taste of a woman. Most likely, a female's blood would taste bitter and acrid to another female, but to a male—pure honey. He was addicted to it. It did shame Shoujii that he seemed to be showing a similar weakness from his father in their proclivity towards women, but the younger demon was much cruder in his passions. He would not find out about the other benefits of a female's presence until ten years later, very close to the time his mother died. As a birthday present, his father gave Shoujii one of his well-liked concubines to use in discretion. Naturally, the young demon's first instinct was to kill her and indulge himself in what he knew marinated her flesh from underneath. But she managed to convince him otherwise.

The moth demon stopped killing human women after that, and started frequenting his company with assorted demonesses of all kinds. He learned to appreciate their finer qualities, such as their smell, their voices, their touch, and their looks. The baser desires of his youth faded as he matured, and he began to reap the benefits of his new outlook. Women adored his company, as he adored theirs. At social gatherings, he was always the envy of the males in the room, because inevitably he would have conversed warmly with every female present by the end of the night. What made it even worse, was that he didn't sleep with them. The men could understand if his façade was only meant to earn him a warmer bed, but Shoujii was genuinely interested in these women's minds, touching them more intimately than any bedfellow could ever hope to. They swooned for him days afterwards, driving further home the ineptness of their male partners.

He had managed to give up gambling and drinking by the time he was made general. If he had a lover, he tended to keep her for an extended period of time, but only for his sadistic pleasure of stringing her along before breaking her heart. It had taken time, but he finally discovered that physically breaking a woman did not provide as much pleasure as emotionally breaking one.

His greatest love was power.

And then there was the Lady Mieko. Shoujii was never sure if the affections she showed him were genuine, or merely a product of his charms seducing her mind; nonetheless, she was eager to spend time with him whenever, wherever, and however possible. He knew better than to bed her, for it would surely mean his death if they were to be discovered, or if she were to become jilted. Undoubtedly, the latter would result in the former. Now that she was heir apparent, her attentions niggled steadily at the back of his brain. If he wed her, then as her husband he would stand to rule in her place. Shoujii was never unfaithful to any of his lovers; during the time in which she stayed under his roof, he would have no other except her. But he did like changing the roster every now and again in order to keep his interests peaked. Marrying Mieko would mean having to give that up. While Shoujii wasn't necessarily opposed to the idea of marriage—he did eventually want to settle down after his career began to wane—Mieko was not exactly the ideal wife he had in mind. It just wasn't worth it.

But now the only woman his attentions were focused on was the little servant girl he had glimpsed earlier that day.

Though her appearance was dirty, and her clothes and hair were styled to make her increasingly unnoticeable, Shoujii knew she was in fact quite pretty. His keen eyes could quickly discern the curve of her hips as she walked, and the fair color of her skin from what glances of her neck he could steal. Her features were small, but well toned and lean. If she had thought her disguise to be fool-proof, she was gravely mistaken. A male with any decent intelligence could plainly see her for the beauty and powerful presence she was.

The aura she gave was gone, and despite every effort he put forth it seemed to have vanished completely. Had she known she was discovered and fled? Not likely. What he could interpret from her tales spoke of a stubborn tenacity inherent to her nature. She would still be there, waiting to strike. She loved having the upper hand, and for now he was content to give it to her. Patience once more would be his center.

It had been almost a century since he had been in close company with a human woman. He'd never experienced anything beyond brutally slaughtering them, but he'd heard tell of what excellent lovers they made. Shoujii had it on his agenda to find out, but always had more pressing matters of state to contend with. The idea was placed on a wish list in the back of his mind, up there with wanting to build a second shiro in the mountains and drinking some of the sake of illusion he'd heard so much about.

But there were other things to attend to first. Shoujii could not afford to languish in his indulgences and forget the most pressing matter at hand. He couldn't have the Lord of the Western Lands come banging on his door when his trained assassin did not return. And Shoujii wanted to make sure the arrogant dog demon was thoroughly humiliated and weakened. He wanted the swords Sesshomaru valued so dearly. The Tenseiga had been explained and passed over in his mind as something potentially useful but not particularly impressive. It was the Tokijin that captured his imagination firmly and would not let go. The wicked demon blade, forged from the fangs of an off-spring of Naraku, was well known only to those who died under its whim. The mere pressure of the sword's overwhelming demonic aura could burst blood vessels through skin at 100 yards, making the victim bleed to death without ever having been cut. In his hands, the moth demon hoped to turn the Tokijin against its master in the confrontation that would undoubtedly result from his plans. After all, in order to have the sword, he had to take it.

Shoujii grinned and licked his lips. Yes, seeing Sesshomaru's face twisted into the angry dog he was would be worth it.

888888888

The night torches flickered with an enchanting glow. Everything about the shiro had been designed to be visually pleasing, no matter the conditions. Rin had to snort in her quiet amusement. The reason why the Eastern armies were so ill-suited for war seemed to be due to their desire to build great houses instead.

The unforgiving racket of metal armor clanking down the hall alerted Rin to her target's approach. Seeking darkness to conceal herself was easy, but unfortunately it left her with no view at all of the bedroom door. From what she could hear, General Shoujii was being escorted to his room by a small flank of guards. Murmured commands were issued to keep the mundane shifting of the palace guards turning like clock-work, before the moth demon retired. Rin held her breath. There were about six guards. Her prospects were grim; there was no way she could dispatch of them without first alerting Shoujii's attentions. She would have to wait for them to change.

But to her surprise, the guards gathered themselves and continued walking down the hallway. Rin peeped out from her hiding place and found that not a one of them had remained on post outside of their general's door. She smirked and rolled her eyes. Shoujii was probably that arrogant. And if he had a guard, most likely it would be in his room to surprise any elopers that were just as arrogant in thinking he would purposefully leave himself defenseless. So one, maybe two guards to contend with, instead of six. That she could handle. In fact, Rin welcomed the possibility; it would provide her with the chance to get her hands on a real sword.

She lay in wait for roughly an hour, to give everything a chance to settle into the lulls of silence. All the time, she focused on her breathing, keeping her senses keen and calm so as not to bring about any undue attentions. If she was to get nervous and send the pearl's aura flaring out, it would surely mean her capture.

Pulling her mask down, Rin pulled herself flush against the rafter and began crawling towards the bedroom. The black body suit she wore had been made in the design of the demon slayers' costume. She had asked Sango first, but the woman would have none of what Rin wanted. Anything that served to further a demon population was against everything her village had stood for. Sango, her husband Miroku, and her brother Kohaku were all that occupied the former demon slayers' village after Naraku was killed. But Kohaku secretly helped Rin. He felt indebted to Sesshomaru first, for sparing his life on a few occasions, and raising him from the dead in the aftermath of the final battle. The young man rather fancied Rin as well, and hoped to earn her attentions with his offering. Rin was too busy to think of boys then. Now, her thoughts strayed to Kohaku and the look he had on his face when she first tried on the black clothes. With the wisdom of hindsight, Rin felt slightly guilty for that look. She'd done nothing to earn it, but she had done nothing to stop it either.

The roof of the house was angular, and provided a comprehensive ceiling for all the rooms in the tunneling hallways of the house. Instead of opening the door and risking a swift attack, Rin could scoot over and drop into the room soundlessly with her soft slippers from above. She moved quickly, not wanting to risk being seen by any late night wanderers; upon reaching the other side, she heaved a sigh of relief in her mind.

The room was too dark. She could make out very little of what figures sprawled beneath her. The bed was easy to distinguish because of its size, and there appeared to be various other pieces of furniture. Of what kind she could not say, but some were most likely tables and floor cushions.

His demonic aura was the first thing she detected. Shoujii had a powerful demon strength lurking under his skin, though not nearly as powerful as Sesshomaru's. Very little was nearly as powerful as Sesshomaru, and nothing was as powerful. Still, it was nothing to be scoffed at; a demon of this caliber could kill a human with a well placed blow to the head, perhaps even taking the head off in turn. The second thing she could distinguish was the peaceful breathing of one who was soundly asleep. This gave her pause; always, she listened to the soft puffs of air threading in and out of the thinly opened mouths of her victims. She tried to imagine what they could be dreaming. Rin always hoped it was something pleasant, for their sakes at least.

Carefully, Rin began lowering her body to the floor. Hanging gracefully from the rafter with her feet dangling meters above the floor, she gauged the room's reaction to her intrusion in perfect stillness. There was nothing to greet her, not even the random creaking of wood from the house settling. Satisfied, she let herself fall and soundlessly rolled out her landing. It would be best to do this quickly.

Crawling over to the bed, the girl squinted and struggled to take in the features of Shoujii's body. He was sleeping on his stomach, bare-chested and with his head turned away from her. To stab him in the back would be quite classic, but it would be too noisy to risk. She would have to kill him in a way he could not cry out and alert the house. This was why beheading was her method of choice. Unfortunately, the long knife she carried would not be permissible to such a task. She would stab him through the throat, she decided, and poised her weapon to strike.

The cut was clean and true, effectively slicing through the jugular vein, windpipe, and vocal chords all at once. However, in her haste Rin realized that her attack had been just a bit over zealous, for the dagger was stuck fast in the demon's throat. Desperately, she started to yank her weapon free, in spite of the dying Shoujii's convulsions and death rattles. Rin felt herself begin to panic. The demon before her was clearly dying, but the demonic aura in the room was steadily building instead of flickering out.

Rin heard a low, dark chuckle come from the corner of the room.

"Fuck," she breathed, eyes widening with her revelation. Rin sprang to her feet and clamored over the furniture in an effort to boost herself back up into the ceiling. Her hands managed to clumsily grab onto a support beam, but in her panicked state she could do little more than swing from side to side.

The bedroom door slid open, and along with a dozen or so soldiers, came the light pouring in, and the truth. In the bed, some random demon lay saturating in his own blood. Shoujii had moved out from concealment, and was now standing directly beneath her.

"You're a wicked little thing, now aren't you?" he teased.

Hands were pulling her down, though she fought as best as she could. With no knife and absolutely no advantage, she would just have to throw reason to the wind and fight blind. If she could grab a weapon, all the better.

Rin almost cried out for joy when her hand managed to wrap around the hilt of a sword. It was the last thing she remembered doing.

888888888

"Rin."

The girl blinked her swollen eyes and squinted from the brightness of the room. Who was calling her? Why did she feel like she had just had the snot kicked out of her by a dozen or so demons?

Shoujii grappled onto Rin's face and punctured her cheeks with his claws. "So you're the little human I've heard so much about," he murmured, sizing her up with his eyes. "Katsuro did not lie about anything."

Immediately she began to struggle. Her arms had been bound at the wrists with rope, and two guards held onto her from her sides. A swinging kick with each leg against the crook of her captors' knees brought them down and away. The rope was easy enough to slip out of, due to her tiny wrists. Ripping her face out of the demon's hand, Rin grimaced as she felt ribbons of blood streak across her cheeks. Mindlessly tuned out to the world that did not encompass her fight or flight response, the girl stood straight and gazed full on at her foe.

He punched her in the jaw, sending her to the floor. Before she could recover, he was standing on her neck, crushing her windpipe with a controlled pressure. Rin clawed vainly at her new restraint, realizing too late why her wounds had been so slow to heal, and why the pain of her bruises still lingered.

Embarrassingly, tears began to well up in Rin's eyes. The pearl was gone.

Shoujii grinned. "I see that I have your undivided attention," he declared glibly. "All that stands to matter now is deciding how I'm going to use it."

"Bastard," Rin hissed. Her reply was a jerking increase in pressure to her neck. She coughed and writhed her body in vain efforts to escape.

"I don't see any reason for the name calling," the moth demon rebuked. "After all, I only wish to strike a deal with you. Whether or not you accept it will determine whether or not I am a bastard." He sneered at her, relishing every second of his ill-gotten power.

"Go to hell!" Rin hoarsely screamed, kicking her legs wildly. She managed to land a few swift blows on some part of Shoujii, because she could see him flinch above her. But he did not relent.

The young demon narrowed his heated gaze on the girl like a concentrated beam of scorching white light. "You are in no place to tell me what to do," he answered smugly, "especially when I have this."

Every hope that Rin had of survival flew out the window. She had been frantically holding on to the idea that Shoujii would not understand the nature of her jewelry, and had merely taken it off to rob her. She prayed that Katsuro had only betrayed her name and reputation, and not her secret vulnerability. Rin was quite certain that her heart had shattered within her chest as she gazed up at the pearl in Shoujii's hand, and she must be either dead or dreaming.

He held the pearl out in plain sight for a moment, then tucked it away in the folds of his clothing. "Now," he said calmly, "why don't we have a nice cup of tea and discuss what you need to do in order to get this little bauble of yours back, hm?"

888888888

A/N: Yay! My first author's note. Okay, so the reason why this chapter took so long to post was because firstly it is just a lot longer than the others, B) it needed to establish some background for my new character, and next I tend to fancy myself to be William Faulkner sometimes and not a mere fan fiction writer. Combine all that with no internet connection and prematurely becoming an aunt, and you have the whole delay in a nutshell. I am dreadfully sorry if it drags along for these reasons; however I am quite proud of the literary techniques that compose this chapter as a whole. At least it looks pretty, is basically what I'm getting at. The next chapter is nearly finished, and promises to be much more intense. Actually, it's part one of full-on, unadulterated, blackened doom in the story. Chapter 6 is part the second. And in case no one reads my author's profile, I want to say that I appreciate every review I have gotten since the very first post! Good or bad, your reviews let me know that you were attracted to the plot summary, have taken time out of your precious day to investigate, and admitted to having read my story. So thank you, thank you, thank you!


	5. Chapter 5

_The Pearl_

Disclaimer: Keh.

Chapter Five

_There you_

_there you go again. Breaking _

_breaking porcelain. _

_Is that all I am, just a doll you got used to?_

Tori Amos, _Goodbye Pisces_

8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8

A/N: Because this chapter is so frikken huge, you'll get 3 for the price of 1. I'm happy; it's all supposed to be together! Grrr…

8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8

Sesshomaru found himself standing outside of Rin's room for the fourth time that day.

He was supposed to organize an expedition into the new Eastern territory. The land needed to be scouted for strategic points should the need to defend it arise. If that was ignored, he still had a slew of other small projects that needed to be headed off. There was the potential for agriculture that needed investigation in the newly acquired lands from his various treaties. Soldiers needed to be well fed, and as his influence grew his army increased exponentially with it. Trade routes would have to be cut and cleared. And of course there was the potpourri of daily household matters that needed approval. But he had been distracted through the course of all of this, and took walks to clear his mind.

He didn't understand why his feet always kept bringing his body back to her closed door. It was empty now, just as it had been empty the other times before. He didn't have to look inside to know she wasn't there. There was nothing and no one in his house that escaped his senses. All the same, he felt Rin's absences more acutely of late, and it had almost gotten him into trouble.

That night he held her in the tree was…new. The last time he had held her had been when she breathed life again after dying for the pearl. It felt strange and slightly awkward at first. She was much warmer than he had remembered, but then again she wasn't just surfacing from the throes of death. Her body was still small, but fuller from muscles and curves. And the most disturbing thing was that she smelled good. There was no artificial scent lingering on any part of her body; it was Rin, pure and untainted. When she was a little girl, Sesshomaru often found himself sniffing the air after Rin just to take in her unique blend. The tiniest hint of her baby smell lingered then, along with other scents of her person. Secretly, he felt sad the day the baby scent completely faded. Of course, that had been the beginning of his realization that she was only growing up to die. Now, holding the adult Rin, he intoxicated himself by hovering centimeters away from her hair. All of this was fine. He was touching her because she needed to be consoled, and he was consoling her because she was his ward and responsibility.

But he did not want to let go. It felt good, and he wasn't about to jeopardize it. It wasn't supposed to happen like that. As the minutes ticked into a full hour of sitting in the tree with her, he wondered if she would be capable of keeping up this little game for a few hours more. Just her in his lap, while he gazed out upon his empire and buried his nose in her hair.

Sesshomaru snarled at himself and stomped away from the empty bedroom. He was ashamed the thought had even idly surfaced in his mind. Rin was not a pet—hadn't she been screaming that before he pulled her against his chest? Hadn't he sworn to himself when she first began following him that she would be above that demeaning rank? Yet here he was, wondering if she would graciously accept this kind of treatment; wondering if she would bow to his whims like a lapdog. What upset him the most was the idea came so naturally to him, as if he had known all along this was the way things were supposed to be.

He was a fool. He had always suspected it of himself when he first accepted a human into his company. _Only until she is well enough to be on her own_, he told himself. But then he began to notice how fragile she was, and how much she needed his care. If he were to turn her out, she would not be able to survive happily. That was his second mistake, being concerned about her happiness. It never occurred to him to consider the feelings of another creature; of course, it had never occurred to him that other creatures might have feelings to begin with. He had suspected Jakken of harboring such a capability, but such dealings were not of any interest. Rin had feelings which radiated from her being like multicolored slivers of light. If something was so hapless as to get caught by one of the beams, there would be no escaping its effects. The day he first laughed at one of her jokes was the day he realized Rin's power over him.

He was helpless when it came to Rin. And he loved her, all the same.

The demon turned sharply on his heel and stomped down the hallway. The day had been quite stressful. Hadn't he been so eager to retire? To what purpose did standing outside of a closed door serve his goal of going to bed? Sleep would not come easily, and he knew it. No matter how tired he was days like this left his mind buzzing for hours. Sometimes he would leave his bed in the middle of the night to draw out some scheme on paper in hopes it would finally leave his brain peacefully. Tonight, his thoughts were far away from where they needed to be. Matters of grain and trade dropped into the pool of his consciousness like small stones, sending ripples across the surface that gradually smoothed themselves out. It was Katsuro's absence that kept churning the waters about. The young dog demon was no where to be found.

Katsuro was one of Sesshomaru's top generals, despite the fact that he was also one of the youngest commanding officers in the army. As a soldier, Katsuro was always disciplined when called to fall in the ranks. What he did during his free time was not Sesshomaru's concern, though he could not help but overhear remarks in reference to the young man's reputation. Now, Sesshomaru was beginning to wonder why he had trusted the general so much, especially in regards to Rin.

It was only a matter of time before it happened, and Sesshomaru knew it. Perhaps, if he had schooled her in the ways of being a soldier before those befitting a lady, the potential for this could have been eliminated. But he wasn't about to fool himself. No matter where he put her, or what he taught her, Rin would always be beautiful. Letting her freely associate with the men had not been something Sesshomaru willingly condoned. However, he had much bigger matters to attract his attentions than making sure a little girl stayed out of trouble. He had tried setting Jakken on her, but neither would have any of it. Jakken was very often the object of ridicule amongst the soldiers, and resented being placed in the thick of "those mindless brutes." Through the course of her years in Sesshomaru's care, Rin had become quite skilled in losing Jakken, consciously or not. So she did as she pleased. It was a small comfort that she had been raised well, and would not do anything unbefitting. He had seen to that. But Sesshomaru could not attest the parental involvement in any one of his soldiers was dignified, and it was them he did not trust when it came to Rin. Glares, growls, and softly murmured threats effectively quashed any hand from touching the girl, but they could not stop eyes from drifting below her collar bone. It was bound to happen eventually. One of them would think so highly of himself, and be just stupid enough to touch her without fear.

He should have killed the general on the spot. He should have forced Rin to tell her side of the story right then, in the room, instead of opting to comfort her in his embrace. Or, once having heard the details of the incident, he should have jumped down and kicked the young man across the floor until it bored him. But he did neither of these, and Katsuro had escaped punishment. As to where he might run to, Sesshomaru did not have a clue. He thought better of the man than to imagine him cowering in the forest, and knew he would be smart enough to leave the Western Lands altogether. Katsuro didn't strike him as the type to sell out and betray the West, but he knew better than to put it past him. Soldiers knew to do little else than be soldiers, and without an army Katsuro would be compelled to seek employment elsewhere. And if he was foolish enough to pursue Rin away from the security of the shiro, the girl would be more than willing and quite able to take care of herself.

Sesshomaru was tired of worrying about it. There were only a precious few who knew of Rin and the purpose she served in the Western Lands, and even fewer who understood exactly how the pearl came into play regarding that matter. If Katsuro made a move, Sesshomaru would know. It would be easy enough to handle; after all, a deposed general had little credibility, and one with a reputation like Katsuro's could easily be brushed aside as speaking little more than idle chatter.

Rounding the corner, Sesshomaru gave a long suffering sigh when he noticed Jakken standing nervously outside of the bedroom door. The retainer knew full well of his master's ill-mood; he had witnessed a great deal of it first-hand throughout the course of the day. To further provoke the demon lord was unwise, yet there Jakken was, waiting patiently to test his luck with some nagging matter of little consequence.

"Sesshomaru-sama," Jakken softly greeted.

Sesshomaru recognized this tone as the, "I'm about to ask you something that I'm afraid might result in you taking off my head," voice. The dog demon sniffed, signaling the imp to begin.

Jakken gulped. He recognized the sniff as the, "You have exactly twenty seconds to capture my attention before I search for something to hit you with," signal.

Falling to his knees, the toad groveled appropriately. "Sesshomaru-sama," he began, "it has come to this Jakken's attention that Rin has not yet returned."

Sesshomaru snorted. This was not any news, and Jakken knew better than to assume his lord would not know this. There had to be something else behind this statement that the retainer obviously felt should be brought to attention. The narrowed his eyes and tightened his lips together, mentally squeezing the imp to come to the point.

"Of course you do not need to be told information that you already know!" the toad gulped, seeing his master's attention was swiftly closing out whatever it was he had been reading. "I only wish to bring this to your attention because this Jakken is curious if any word has been received on the girl?"

At this, Sesshomaru paused. There was never any communication back and forth between the two parties during missions. Rin knew better; if she were to be found and connected to the Lord of the West, all of Sesshomaru's plans would crumble and the world would be knocking at his door, begging for blood. If he affiliated himself in any way with her, it would spell both of their dooms; hers for being a killer of nobility, and his for benefiting from it.

"She said she would be back in three days," Jakken continued, clearing his throat and raising his voice. His master had gone on a mental walk, but Jakken wanted answers enough to risk intruding on Sesshomaru's reverie. "It has been four days, and Rin is not back yet. It's not like her to be late."

Sesshomaru grunted. Yes, it was unlike the girl to be late for anything. Having been raised with a militaristic background, Rin understood the importance of consistency and promptness. One day did not seem like something to overreact over, but this was the first incidence of tardiness she had ever shown in all the years she followed her lord. The dog demon frowned. Now Katsuro's absence reared forward in his consciousness and loomed dangerously close to the mental construct of Rin's absence. Something about these two ideas together added into a troublesome answer.

At long last, Sesshomaru turned to Jakken and spoke directly. "Have a small unit send out inquiries in the surrounding areas for General Katsuro. This Sesshomaru has cause to believe that the reason for Rin being late is related to the general's untimely departure."

"Yes my lord!" Jakken squawked eagerly. The faithful retainer jumped to his webbed feet and took three enthusiastic steps before freezing in place. He appeared to have something else he wanted to say, but was hesitating. Whatever it was apparently weighed heavy on the toad's mind, especially since he considered it worth provoking his master's ill-patience further.

"Jakken," Sesshomaru said through his teeth.

The imp in question turned slowly, eyes darting about in a panic. His little hands were wringing themselves wildly, cracking knuckles in the process. Finally, he managed to muster the courage up to speak.

"It's just that, Rin, she…," Jakken squeaked. "She promised to be back in three days. She promised me." Having said everything and lowering his head, the retainer then turned back around and plodded off to carry out his master's bidding.

The dog demon watched Jakken go. Such concerns were troubling to hear coming from the retainer; he had never imagined the imp to worry about anything except being left behind or beat up. It was unsettling.

Sliding the door open and closed a little harder than he intended, Sesshomaru began distractedly removing his armor and swords. Out in the woods, these things remained on his person at all times, but here in the shiro he was allowed to relish in the comforts of an actual bed. At first, he changed into a light dressing robe to sleep in, but decided it was much too hot for it and switched to a pair of thin, white linen pants.

The room was stuffy, and Sesshomaru eagerly opened a window and leaned outside. The sky was a rich shade of blue-black, making the stars stand out even brighter than usual. A cool breeze fluttered past, as if it sensed the lord of the land was calling out to it. The dog demon allowed himself an arrogant smile. Perhaps, after conquering the four lands, he would set out to conquer the four winds. He knew it was too early to feel secure in his success, but just for tonight he decided to feel like the world was under his rule.

It felt gratifying for about five minutes, before his mind drifted back to Rin. If he ruled the world, then why could he not find her? Why was she lingering just beyond his reach? How could such a thing be possible, if he ruled the world? Was Rin meant to forever elude his grasp, no matter how powerful he became?

_Sleep_, he ordered himself. _She will be back tomorrow_.

Half-heartedly accepting his excuses, Sesshomaru lowered himself to the floor and rolled onto his futon. He pulled the covers over himself, but quickly kicked them off. It was just too hot. His hair would be another problem in trying to stay comfortably cool; twisting it into a flimsy rope, Sesshomaru pulled his hair above his head and over the edge of the mattress so it spilled onto the floor and not over his back. Closing his eyes, Sesshomaru fitfully schooled his mind into a state of peace in hopes of getting at least a few hours of sleep. It didn't surprise him that his thoughts wrapped around the feel of Rin against his chest. Such things would lead to nothing but trouble in the end, and he knew he should chase these dreams away.

But in the end he decided that if he could imagine himself to be the lord of the four lands on this night, then he could also permit himself to entertain the warm tenderness of a human woman's embrace. Tomorrow, reality would chase away these dreams and set him straight. Tomorrow, Rin would come back and he would be one step closer to igniting war between the East and South. Tomorrow, he would be himself again, and not be bothered by the haunting memory of some female's scent.

Tomorrow, he would go to bed and dream forbidden things again.

888

Tokijin woke Sesshomaru with a blood-curdling scream.

Being roused from a deep sleep, the dog demon struggled to alert his muzzy senses into clarity. Apparently his body was being slow to cooperate, because he could still not tell just what it was that had crept through the window and hid itself in the shadows. Rolling upright from his side, and then standing, he strained his eyes in an effort to determine what was wrong.

The sword had flared its demonic energy in alarm, calling to its master in a plea for action. It wanted the blood of whoever had woken it from its sleep, and would not settle until it could feed. This invader must have been foolish enough to try and wield the sword, and was undoubtedly repelled backwards by the blade's wicked strength.

Unhindered strength, Sesshomaru noted soberly. Tenseiga's cry of protest could not be heard, and its absence fueled Tokijin into a full-on frenzy. The dog demon let out a warning growl as he darted over to his weapon to calm it. Snuffling the air through his nose and over his tongue, Sesshomaru nearly choked.

Without hesitating, the demon's clawed arm shot out in the darkness and grabbed hold of the body whose outline was beginning to stand out. Tenseiga clattered to the floor when the thief let go, in favor of fighting the choke hold he was under. For a moment, Sesshomaru was content to let his victim struggle. He just didn't want to believe it. In the darkness, it could be anyone. His sense of smell could be doubted as long as he couldn't confirm with his eyes whom it was that he was strangling. A choked sob escaped the lips of his captive, and Sesshomaru could delay it no longer.

Walking backwards into the light, he felt as if a dagger had suddenly been thrust into his back and was steadily making its way through his heart and out his chest. He didn't want it to be her. But his eyes could not lie; the vision before him was a reality. Sadly, he noticed that even when she was desperately fighting for her life, she was still beautiful.

"Rin?"

888888888


	6. Chapter 6

_The Pearl_

Disclaimer: Keh.

Chapter Six

8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8

_He's absolutely mad._

Rin dropped her jaw in disbelief at the scene laid out before her. Shoujii was contentedly sitting by a low table, which was furnished with the accoutrements needed for a proper tea ceremony. _He really wasn't joking about the tea_, she realized in bewilderment.

"Come," the demon beckoned, gesturing to a cushion just opposite of his seat. "Sit."

They had released her bonds once she had been let into the room. Rin realized very quickly though that she posed little threat despite the fact she was free. The walls were lined with heavily armored guards, and with no weapon of her own, and the pearl away from her body, she stood absolutely no chance of escape without being captured again.

"I thought we might go about this civilly," Shoujii explained. "I'm told you're quite the little noblewoman, when you want to be. Of course, how could I expect any less from one raised in Sesshomaru's household." Gracefully, the demon poured the tea into two cups, and then pushed one towards Rin before he took his own between his palms.

"Sesshomaru-_sama_," Rin gritted, clenching her fists.

The guards crashed their armor against one another as they leaned forward with swords drawn. Signs of aggression were their order to strike, and their number would assure victory on their part. Rin shook her head and forcefully opened her palms. The soldiers returned to the wall, at ease.

_Fine_, the girl huffed in her head, _if he wants a lady, I'll give him a lady. I'll take any leeway I can get._

Gracefully, Rin schooled her posture and glided over to her seat. Despite not wearing a flowing robe, the air around her seemed to flutter as she sank to the floor. Shoujii nodded in approval.

"Help yourself," he murmured, reaching for his cup and blowing on the steam. Rin followed suit.

They sat quietly for a moment; she tried to keep her eyes trained on the table, and he tried to keep his eyes on her as much as possible. It was a game of who could get to whom, and Rin was the one who surrendered first. Gently, she put down her cup and folded her hands neatly in her lap.

"Why am I here?" she whispered.

Shoujii choked, and had to forcefully swallow the liquid in his mouth. "Why are you here?" he wheezed. "You came here to kill me! Now that was a silly question." The demon grinned smugly and waited for his teasing to take effect. He was not disappointed.

"I mean," Rin growled, "why am I sitting here, having a damn tea ceremony with you?" All the while, she had not raised her eyes from the table, and her hands fidgeted nervously in her lap.

The young general put down his cup and straightened his spine. "My dear lady," he soothed, "I wish you no harm. I am…intrigued as to how one such as yourself has caused as much trouble as you have. And," he added, picking up his cup once more, "I need you to do something."

At this, Rin lifted her head. Shoujii was staring at her over the rim of his cup with hooded eyes, one eyebrow raised, and a sly smirk. The girl visibly blanched. The demon softened his features and finished off his tea, then held the cup in his fist as he addressed his guest once more.

"It's not anything terrible, I assure you," he continued. "Really, you cannot honestly believe you can be caught in my house like this without a consequence? I consider myself a decent fellow, above killing women and children and all that, so you can rest assured I have no intention of killing you. In fact, I see no reason why I should bear you any ill will."

Rin raised an eyebrow. She did not like where he was going, by any stretch of the imagination. "Then what do you intend to do with me?" she sulked. "Why should I believe you? I came here to kill you, and I probably would have if that bastard Katsuro hadn't ratted me out. And you say you aren't going to punish me? Bullshit."

Shoujii shook his head. "You misunderstand, Rin-chan---"

"Don't call me 'chan'," Rin interrupted.

"---I never said I would not punish you," the demon continued, ignoring the girl. "But it will not be by my hand that any harm will befall you. It is not you that I have a grudge against." He gritted his teeth and narrowed his gaze. The girl nodded in dumb understanding.

"I want something from your Sesshomaru-_sama_," Shoujii sneered.

"He will give you nothing."

"That is why you will take it for me."

"He will give me nothing as well."

Shoujii laughed. "I didn't say for you to ask him for anything, I want you to take it, and bring it back here. Then you can have this back." He pulled the pearl out from inside his shirt and held it out for Rin to see.

She wanted to leap for it, but knew better. Feeling the back of her neck as she looked at her now broken collar, she knew they had used a thick, sharp blade to shatter the metal. Probably an axe or a scythe did it. The indent was still healing on her skin. Even if she did manage to get it from him, she would not be able to fight off a roomful of soldiers with only one free hand. And she didn't trust Shoujii's word any more than he trusted her to stay put; no doubt he would kill her, if given the proper motivation. Rin strangled a sigh as she watched the demon slide the pearl back into his shirt. Her shoulders fell as her heart sank in defeat. This whole plan reeked of disaster, and from what she could tell all of the misfortune stood to rain on her head.

The demon smiled triumphantly. "I want his swords, the Tokijin and the Tenseiga," he explained calmly. "Bring those back to me, and you can have your necklace again. After that, you can do whatever you want. Come visit me again, if you'd like." He grinned wickedly and his eyes glinted.

"What would you do with the swords? You can't expect to use them," Rin haughtily sniffed.

Shoujii nodded. "Ah, I am well aware of this, but I can always try. And frankly, I just want them to humiliate your pompous lord. Childish really, but effective."

"And you think he will let you get away with it?" Rin snorted. "He'll have half of his army at your door, and it will still be twice as large as any attack you could hope to muster."

"It's touching to see you so concerned for my well being," Shoujii teased, smiling warmly. "But you would be better to worry about yourself. You're in quite a mess as it is. It would be well for you to try and clean it up."

"What guarantees do I have that you won't try to kill me, either while I'm out doing you this 'favor,' or when I come back?"

"None. But you must admit it's worth hoping for. I can promise you things until I'm blue in the face, but you'll no more believe me than I will myself. All you can do is hope for the best, and plan for the worst."

As Shoujii finished his speech, he reached forward for the cast-iron tea kettle on the table and poured himself some more tea. He lifted his eyes and jiggled the kettle in a gesture meant to offer Rin any more. She shook her head. He shrugged, then sank back down into his seat and began blowing away the steam from his cup.

Rin sat in silence, and mulled the offer over in her head. The demon had to be absolutely mad, she was sure now. He was sending her home, where she could then easily return with the swords safely at Sesshomaru's hip, along with a few thousand soldiers armed to the teeth. Not one threat had passed his lips towards her, and suspicion clouded her senses.

"What happens if I don't want to do it?" she demanded. "What happens if I fail?"

"You will not," Shoujii answered calmly, not bothering to look up from his drink.

Rin raised herself upright on her knees and slammed her palms down on the table. "You arrogant bastard!" she screamed. "I'll kill you with my bare hands, so help me---"

At this threat, the walls began closing in around the table, moving swiftly towards the girl and meaning to crush her. But Shoujii held out his hand in a bored manner, stopping the soldiers' advance. Looking down to his chest, he reached in his shirt and pulled out the pearl once more. Thoughtfully, he smoothed his thumb over the surface and seemed pleased to do so. Then his features twisted into a livid glare, and one of his claws scratched the surface of the pearl, leaving a mark.

Rin screamed and fell to the floor. It felt like her arm had just been ripped off her body completely. In her writhing, she managed to reach her hand up and rub her aching shoulder. To her shock, she felt the joint had become unhinged from its socket. No hand had been laid upon her, and yet she was reeling from some unseen attack. Over the roaring in her ears, Rin could hear Shoujii laughing darkly.

"Just so you know, Katsuro did not tell me that would happen," he chuckled. "I merely guessed."

"Bastard," Rin coughed, curling her body into itself for defense.

The demon stood and casually walked over to the girl. "Really, for one as educated as you are, I would expect some other name than just 'bastard'," he sighed, looking down on Rin from where he stood. He waited for her to regain her composure, watching as she sat up and smoothed down her hair. Smiling in satisfaction, he knelt down by the girl and looked into her eyes.

"Are you going to see things my way?" he baited. "Or am I going to have to experiment a little more? Because I don't want to."

Rin bit her lip and turned away. Just as quickly as he had ignited her anger, did he soothe her nerves and romance her senses. She hated him, and for all he hated her, Shoujii spoke like they had been lovers for years and were merely having a spat. It made Rin shiver.

Shoujii smiled, and delicately traced his claws across Rin's bicep, making the girl's body shake as she whipped her head around to him. "Do we have an accord?" he asked smoothly, as if he had merely tapped her on the shoulder instead of caressed her skin.

The girl could not help feeling like her final thread of humanity was being twisted around the clawed finger of the moth demon before her. She found herself laughing nervously, and hid her face in horror as her skin flared red.

Nodding solemnly, the general stood and motioned to his soldiers. Three of them stepped forward, and pulled Rin to her feet.

"Give her a fast horse and some food," Shoujii said sharply to the soldiers. Then he turned to Rin and clapped his large hand onto her shoulder. The fingers constricted, and his claws faintly needled her skin. "I'll expect you back by tomorrow night."

888

She didn't reach the castle until late in the night. The horse they gave her was fast, but it still wasn't Kado. Rin was quite sore upon her dismount, and cursed under her breath for a minute about the incompetence of the groom who had decided to use the largest saddle possible when tacking the horse up. The entire ride had been spent sliding back and forth along the ridge, squeezing hard with her knees and trying to not fall off and bust her head open.

The dumb animal was left to graze; Rin made her final approach on foot. In an effort to keep her second life a secret, a hidden entrance had been constructed at the south end of the outer wall. The door was hidden on the ground, and opened into a tunnel which carried her under the second and third walls, and allowed her to resurface in the garden where she was safely guarded from view by thick foliage. Rin felt ashamed that she was so out of breath after her trip, and she paused to lean against the outer wall to rest. For the entire journey, her heart had been hammering away at her ribcage, and steadily sending nails up the back of her neck into her brain.

_This is not going to work_, she mourned. She didn't feel right about _any_ of it. Why was she even here? What part of her honestly expected Sesshomaru to hand his swords willingly over to her, much less another demon? But if she didn't…

Having already died twice, Rin was not feeling noble enough to sacrifice herself again for the good of Sesshomaru's cause. The whole purpose of the pearl was so she would not have to worry about dying, ever again. Faced with an ultimatum, she knew she had to at least try and get the pearl back. _Plan for the worst and hope for the best, _Shoujii had told her. There was the strong possibility that Sesshomaru would be sensitive to her plight, and rally to her side. For as much as he put into the creation of the pearl himself, he had to have deeper feelings for his ward. She would return to Shoujii's castle with her champion in tow. How better to enforce the invincibility of the Western army than to obliterate a formidable foe?

Her breathing and heartbeat had evened themselves out to a more relaxed level of nervous terror. It had been close to ten years since she had seen the inside of her lord's bedroom. When she was first moved into the house, her room adjoined his, allowing her to access his chambers when he permitted it. Sometimes in those early days, he had been content to sit and read over maps and whatever else needed being read, while she amused herself on the floor with various toys. Some of them she had made, like the doll she had sewn and dressed all by herself. Some toys had been given to her by General Kyoshii and Takako-san, in their hopes of sharing in on the collective rearing of the child. But she had only been allowed into a small area of the room, and had no way of knowing if the layout had been changed since then. Rin would just have to rely on blind luck in this case.

The garden seemed more ethereal at night. When she opened the little door and stepped inside, her breath caught in her throat from the pastoral scene before her eyes. There were maple and cherry trees, various shrubs and bonsai, flowers of every color, and even a small koi pond; every piece of the landscape was painstakingly arranged centuries ago. In the far left corner, an unenclosed deck with an elaborately carved roof marked the end of the large stone path that snaked throughout the plants and trees. There, Rin had been allowed to make her own additions to the greenery. It wasn't much; she was rather fond of annuals, because she could change the composition of her garden every spring. Many hours of painstaking care were invested into the design and maintenance of the small plot of land she claimed.

It struck her now how appropriate it all was. The main garden, built by Sesshomaru's ancestors, had stood for centuries unchanged. Then along came Rin, and forced her own insignificant signature on the ancient soil. If she died, the flowers would not be re-planted, and it would be as if her garden never existed. As if she never existed. Would she be forgotten as well?

_No_, she resolved. _This will not be the end of me. I won't be made into an insignificant memory._

A noise startled her, and she fell to the ground behind a flowering shrub. From what she could tell, someone had opened a window. Through the leaves, she could discern a light coming out of the house, so she shifted to get a better view on the situation. Once more, her breath caught in her throat from what she saw.

He was leaning out of the window, as if he was going to leap out of it at any second. His arm stood taut on the sill, while his torso angled out in a strong diagonal until it reached his hips, where his body was brought back into a vertical line. Tendrils of silver hair hung delicately away from his body, while whatever was left of it spilled down his arms and back like water. And there he stood, unapologetic as always, completely unashamed to flaunt the strength and weakness of his appearance to the night sky.

Sesshomaru's lips screwed into a cocky smile, and Rin almost laughed. But what held her back was not the fear of being discovered; it was the sadness in his eyes that closed her throat. He was lying to himself. Some thought was being falsely validated on his conscience, and while his body may have accepted it, his mind knew better. Rin was afraid of him, like this. Jakken had always said their lord was infinitely more dangerous when he smiled, which was only partly true. He was dangerous when he smiled from a lie, because he would do anything to protect his false truths.

The demon sighed before he returned to his darkened room, leaving the window open behind him. Judging by the way he was dressed, or more appropriately, undressed, Sesshomaru was getting ready for bed. Rin couldn't have asked for a more perfect and less honorable way to attain her mission's goal.

_You're his ward_, she thought desperately, _he'll understand._

And yet, why was she climbing through his window in secret to avoid him? Why could she not come out and openly plead for his aid?

_You're his soldier,_ she realized grimly, _and he'll understand that more._

Rin sat in the darkness for two hours. At one point, she dozed off into a light and dreamless sleep, but rustling leaves jolted her awake. Every nerve in her being felt on fire, and she imagined she could feel the warmth of the moonlight on her face. She could wait no longer.

Rin made no sound as she crept towards the house. Crouched beneath the window, she listened for any noises that revealed the state of the room's occupant. Shallow breathing was her answer. Rin didn't know why she felt like she had to hold her breath while crawling through the window. It was as if she was making a dive into a lake, and had to swim to the surface to breathe again. Her eyes were already well adjusted to the gloom, so she had little problem scanning the composition of the room. It was smaller than she remembered, and she wasn't sure if it was because she was bigger or because he had constricted the space with his growing possessions. But where would he put what he prized most?

It wasn't anything visual that clued Rin in to where the swords were kept. The Tokijin apparently sensed a foreign presence in the room, and not being under its master's direct control let its malice expand. A chilled sense of foreboding blanketed Rin's body, constricting her heart and lungs. It was easy for her to grab hold of the sword's power like a rope, and follow it to where both blades were propped.

She had never touched a demon sword before. Rin had been instructed at a very young age to be wary of her proximity to Tokijin and Tenseiga. While the exact effects her fragile humanity would elicit from the swords were unknown, it was almost certain a great deal of suffering would be the result. The coldness of Tokijin's aura crystallized the blood in her veins, making each heartbeat agonizingly painful. _It would probably be best,_ she decided, _to try holding Tenseiga first_.

Timidly, Rin extended her open hand and let it hover over the heirloom sword's hilt. She did not fear this sword, but had a healthy respect for its vast power. In her mind, it did not matter the caliber of the sword when it came to distributing death. All blades were alike in that aspect. The Tenseiga therefore stood apart from all others, because it could do something no other weapon could. Not even the holiest of mikos or the most enlightened monk could bring back the dead. A sword that could not kill, yet in the hands of a human it still held potential harm. Demonic power was never meant for mortal flesh.

_Please,_ Rin begged, _please know me. Please remember me. Please._

Steeling herself, she gently closed her fist around the hilt.

Instantly the suffering Tokijin had inflicted was dissipated. Warmth filled her very core, and Rin heaved a long sigh of relief. The sword seemed almost _happy_ in her tenuous embrace, emboldening her to pull it tightly to her chest. It was as if the pearl had never left. The strong aura of a soul's vitality bathed her flesh; Rin was so overcome with peace that tears began to pool in her eyes.

But even as all of her fears were being quelled, a gentle snore shattered Rin's reverie back into the situation at hand. Sesshomaru was sleeping fitfully; whatever dream he was having was playing across the features of his face. Lying on his stomach with his arm flush on the mattress, he had managed turn his head in a manner that fanned the entire length of his hair behind him in a wide fan. His pale skin glowed softly amidst the darkness, excepting for his striped markings which appeared black. A large, dark 'X' marked the center of his back, stretching around his ribs to taper into the stripes worn on his chest. In the relaxed state of sleep, Sesshomaru's fangs shone prominently from the corners of his mouth. In all of this, he appeared as less of a demon and more of a wraith. Yes, he was beautiful, but not an inch of his deadly nature was masked underneath the veil of sleep. Rin swallowed hard. How was it that she had now become so frightened of the man who protected her for the majority of her life? With the onset of her shame, Rin was overcome with the urge to run away and never look back.

Without thinking she grabbed Tokijin, intending to balance her burdened flight. Instantly, the hilt sizzled and yanked harder at her body so she could not let go. Rin's eyes widened in terror and enlightenment all at once. As Life resided within the Tenseiga, so did Death inhabit Tokijin. She knew its chill voice as soon as the sword began to speak.

_Forever_, it screamed, drawing her further in.

In a panic Rin jumped backwards, and ended up tumbling over a low table that sent her sprawling on her back. The voice was gone, but the demonic energy in the room had become doubly suffocating; Sesshomaru was awake.

Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion. It wasn't minutes before his hand grappled onto her throat in the darkness; it was years. Out the window, the sun and moon spun their courses at a dizzying pace, yet the world inside the room remained unchanged.

He wasn't holding her with his real strength she realized, but that implied he knew what manner of creature he was holding. Still, she was choking and cried out in a plea for air. Did he know it was her? Rin could see his face quite well, and watched his eyes widen and narrow as smoothly as ocean waves. He was drawing her into the light to see—to confirm what he knew to be true. She struggled, even though she knew it was futile.

"Rin?"

Just her name. Just another word in a vocabularic sea. Yet the voice carrying the tiny burden was laden with sorrow. Tears streamed down Rin's face. He was ashamed of her.

"I can explain," she sobbed remorsefully.

Sesshomaru's face shifted into a scowl. This was completely unbecoming of Rin; whatever there was to explain could not be good. The fact that she had dared to _sneak_ into _his_ room, and then precede to try and _steal _his swords merited a thorough explanation. Yet he found himself with rapidly decreasing patience to hear it.

"What are you doing?" he gritted out, still holding her at arm's length.

"Please," she whimpered, "I need your help. He's going to kill me."

"Who is going to kill you?"

"General Shoujii."

The demon released the girl and watched her fall limply to the floor. She was coughing, and clutching her neck—her bare neck. The pearl was gone, he suddenly realized. She had lost the most costly thing he had ever given her, and nearly lost the most valuable thing she had given to him.

"What did you do!" he shouted angrily, clenching both his fist and his teeth.

Rin stared up at him and could only cry harder. "He knew I was coming! Katsuro betrayed you; he told everything!" She fell face down to the floor on her knees, and covered her head with her hands. "Shoujii has the pearl."

Sesshomaru had to step backwards. Even after all they—all _he_ had done to make sure the pearl was safe, she had still managed to lose it. Not only that, but she had failed in her mission, and had the audacity to return back to his house! What if she had been followed? How could he then deny his involvement in the assassinations? He could wake up the next morning and have the whole of the South and East banging on his front door and screaming for blood. It would all be because of Rin. Katsuro betrayed her; it wasn't a wonder how! The girl had been so fond of her teacher, and probably told him every little flaw she had, trusting he would use them to help her and not to kill her later. And he had let all of this happen right under his nose! Careless, sloppy, reckless, foolish…

"Why did you come back!" Sesshomaru demanded.

From her spot on the floor, Rin could feel his demonic aura whipping tendrils wildly through the air. This aura was different from Tokijin's in that it was a scorching heat instead of a bitter cold. She could almost feel her flesh sizzle with each brush of his youki. Never before had she seen him this angry, and it was over something she did.

"Rin is sorry," she trembled.

It was everything he had ever feared coming true. This little slip of a girl had managed to bring the entirety of the world crashing down about him, and yet he still yearned to comfort _her_. How long had he been fooling himself in this humiliating charade? _Weak, weak, weak! Unforgivably weak!_ he screamed in his head. He had managed to surpass his father in power and influence at only half of the old man's age. And he _still_ let himself fall prey to a human female, in half the time it had taken the Inu no Taishio to explore his fondness for mortals. He was on his way to getting everything he ever wanted, and he had stupidly entrusted the means to this end with a child. Even as his rage blackened his heart, a voice in the back of his head reminded him that "everything" had included Rin.

The whole room was vibrating. He realized that he was on the brink of a full transformation, but he didn't care. If he were to suddenly loose all composure and splinter his entire house with the power of his aura, it would be permissible. He had been made a fool. To think that he had even dared to entertain the idea of this pathetic human as a companion was beyond shameful. It was a mistake to have brought her here, he realized. It was a mistake to have involved her in his life.

It was a mistake he probably would make again if she didn't leave right now.

She was babbling something about how she needed the swords to trade for the pearl. She insisted that he help her, and return to the general's house to finish the job she should have done on her own. He had trained her to be no less than the best, and here she had failed no less than completely. Her speech had regressed to that of her childhood, further revealing her weak nature to him. It was so clear now. She had been dependent on his strength from the start; he had always known that. But now he realized she had also abused him even as a child. He had given her _everything_ she could have ever needed or wanted. And how did she repay him? By betraying his trust and taking from him what he held most dear. Was it still not enough for her?

If she had merely asked for help, instead of trying to fix the problem herself by way of stealing, would he have given it to her? Would he be reacting like this if she had come to his door and pleaded her cause?

He couldn't answer; he couldn't be sure.

"Sesshomaru-sama?" Rin begged, lifting her head up to look at him.

Regret filled her instantly when she fell fully under his gaze. His fangs had elongated and sharpened, and he was grinding them noisily. A powerful wind swirled around his body, threatening to whip her about like a wet rag. And his eyes… Rin had never seen Sesshomaru's eyes in any other color but amber, though she was attune to their varying shades of the single hue. Their sockets were stretched impossibly wide to better accommodate tissues now engorged with blood. Golden irises became emerald pinpoints set on a field of crimson.

His appearance was terrifying. He looked poised to strike down anything so hapless as to move in his presence. Rin realized her life was endangered now by two demons, and neither one intended to show her any mercy. He was looked as though he was going to kill her, and instead of fighting back all she could do was count the pieces of her heart as it broke.

Sesshomaru took a step forward. He could hold back no longer; everything about him was aching to explode.

"How _dare_ you presume such things of this Sesshomaru! You failed; it is not my job to clean up after you! After all that I have provided and have done, you _dare_ to endanger my house _and_ steal my father's sword? This Sesshomaru will hold you responsible for every soldier lost when the South and East mutiny against me. You have only served to make a direct attempt on this Sesshomaru's life in an effort to save your own pathetic one!"

When he had finished screaming, he found his body crouched on the floor and mere inches away from Rin. His shoulders were heaving with his labored breathing. Something inside of him was begging he turn back, insisting that this was dangerous ground he was treading upon. He ignored it.

Rin was biting her lower lip, cracking it open in a few spots so it bled. Her mind had become clearer as well, and she realized everything she had believed until this point was a lie. He had used her. All this time, when he acted as if he actually cared for her had been a show. He needed her; she had known that from the beginning. But he had only needed her to take the fall for his empire. She had been raised to be his sacrifice, and given the pearl to ensure her work would be carried out. It was not forever with him, it was forever _for_ him.

"Then you will let me die?" she choked.

Sesshomaru grabbed Rin by the collar and jerked both of them to their feet. He pulled her flush against his chest. In his mind, the scenario was carried out as thus: he would hug her fiercely, yell at her a little more for scaring him, then hug her again and get dressed so he could return with her to retrieve the pearl. But in reality, the sequence of events played themselves much differently.

"This Sesshomaru made it clear from the beginning that you cannot be linked to this house," he rumbled in a low, menacing tone. "You were made aware of the dangers you would be facing. Why is it then you think you are the exception to the standard?"

The last piece fell to the floor, and Rin was completely broken. It dawned on her that not only did she have nothing to win, but she also had everything to lose. Every thread of fate was constricting her body and cutting into her skin. She was going to die. She wasn't sure when, or how, or who would do it. But it was inevitable.

"You made me what I am!" she screamed. Bitter tears ran down her face, and her nails dug into his hand which still gripped her shirt. "You were the one who came up with this plan, and YOU dare to try and blame me for it backfiring? I am merely a tool; it is your poor planning that is to fault! I sacrificed my life for _this_!"

"_Sacrifice_! I gave you everything!" he roared.

"You gave me lies!" she countered.

"I saved your life!"

"You sold my soul!"

"Then you were foolish to give it to me!"

It didn't come out quite as he intended. He had merely wanted to point out the stark differences between a demon's and a human's mentality. She had expected him to know what to do with her, _and_ safeguard her feelings in the process. In essence, she called for sensitive functionality in their relationship. Demons couldn't understand why humans valued emotions so much. Yes, he did have feelings. Right now, he was feeling resentful of his poor judgment. He knew he had been misinterpreted by the look in her eyes, but he was too angry to consider revising his actions. What was done, was done.

It all came out as she had feared. She had merely hoped he had some part of him left that cared for her and always would save her. He had thrown every kindness, every sweet thought, and every ounce of love she gave him back in her face. In essence, he was telling her that each year was worthless to him. Everything she had done meant nothing. Demons were wicked creatures, and she was foolish for ever thinking she could exist among them without falling prey to their instincts. She was human, and though he may have helped her survive, she would always remain a victim.

"Then why don't you kill me?" she challenged in a whisper.

Sesshomaru tried to hide how much her words startled him, but he could not stop his jaw from falling open briefly. It would be better to kill her, he knew. Without the pearl, he could get it over with quickly. Then he could slaughter each and every demon in Shoujii's house, effectively controlling the damages he had already suffered from Rin's discovery. A random soldier could be singled out and named as the assassin, so when his dead body was pulled out and presented, the South and the East would think of the West as their promised champion. He would still have the land they gave him, and would still save face before any doubt could be cast against him. There would be other plans he could conjure in order to secure the four lands under his rule. In fact, if he killed Rin, he could freely venture into the North and massacre the wolf demons there. His grip tightened.

She was no longer resisting, as if she expected him to snuff out her brief life. It was almost as if she welcomed death, after having spent over a decade fighting against it. Her face relaxed and her body fell limp in his grasp. Looking into her eyes, he could hear her speaking words he had forced himself to be deaf to for years.

_I loved you_, she said.

_Loved?_

Whatever spark of love there was had been erased. She had loved him. Now she feared him, and even despised him. Sesshomaru gulped hard, though his mouth had gone totally dry. What had he done?

Rin let out a keening cry when he threw her to the ground. Slowly, Sesshomaru began to quiet his violent aura. She was looking to him now with a glimmer of hope, but he could only bring himself to look at her from profile.

"I never should have brought you back," he grated.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Rin flinch. Again, words had failed him. He was lamenting her plight, and still he managed to sound as if he hated her. If he had never saved her, she wouldn't be crying on the floor of his bedroom. If had never saved her, she would have only had to die once. If he had never saved her, she never would have loved him. And even though he had saved her, he missed the chance at her love all the same. He could have had everything he ever wanted.

Rin wanted to live. Sesshomaru had stayed his hand from taking her life. If she pleased Shoujii by bringing him the swords, then she could have her pearl and wash her hands of everything. _Let Sesshomaru deal with this_, she decided, _it is of no consequence to me, and I am of no consequence to him._

"I'm taking the swords," she rasped.

The demon snapped his head and looked at the girl face to face. "You will not," he growled, aura flaring anew.

"You owe me!" Rin screamed, standing up. She stomped over to where Tenseiga had fallen and picked it up. "If you never should have brought me back, then you at least owe me this. So you can never make the same mistake again! So you can't ruin someone else's life by destroying her soul!"

A swirling whirlwind once again picked up with Sesshomaru at its eye. In a blur of white he ran over to where Tokijin stood and drew it from its sheath.

"This sword will only part from my dead hand," he threatened. "Take the Tenseiga if you wish. It is of no worth to me."

And then she was gone. Without hesitation, Rin dove out the window and through the garden, hurling herself underground to emerge on the other side. The horse startled and skittered sideways when it saw her running its way. Forcing the animal to quiet itself by yanking the reins sharply, Rin catapulted herself into the saddle and spurred the horse onward. She heard a loud explosion, and alarm bells from behind her. Voices were shouting—she may have heard someone calling her name, but she didn't care to believe it.

She used the sword to beat the horse into a continuous gallop. The animal was frantic and terrified, which made it even harder for Rin to stay in the saddle while being jerked about. When her throat became sore, she realized she had been screaming like Hell was nipping at her heels for the entire ride thus far. Her eyes were too swollen and fogged with tears to see much of anything. Stray branches that she barely missed ducking away from stung her face. Rin no longer existed in thought or feeling; she became a fire tearing through the forest, with no soul and no concern to the trail of ashes in her wake.

A great deal of the Western Lands was covered in forests. The terrain well suited dog demons, and gave them ample hunting grounds. The tree-line marked the border between East and West. Bursting from the forest into the Eastern Lands, Rin shivered. There was no turning back now. There was no way she could ever go home again. It had all been very well done by her master, and she was dead to him.

Rin was completely alone.

When the mansion came into view on the horizon, Rin yanked the reins to make her mount stop. It happened much too abruptly, making her pitch forward off the saddle and land in the dirt on her back. The horse, who was now completely terrified of the girl, took off running anywhere that would take him away from her. It didn't matter, because she barely noticed anyway. Laying there on the ground, Rin's whole body wracked with sobs so powerful her lungs threatened to expire.

"I HATE YOU!" she screamed. Rolling onto her stomach, she pounded her fists into the dirt and kicked her feet wildly. "I hate you! I hate you!" For all appearances, she was a child throwing a temper-tantrum. A passer-by might be tempted to scold her, saying, "Throwing a fit isn't going to get you what you want."

She had wanted him—so much.

It was only a little delusion. In her heart she knew it was never meant to be, and never would be by any stretch of the imagination. But while she was in the house, she could at least pretend. One day, she wished, he would touch her face and smile at her, like she was his most valuable treasure. More important than his swords. More important than his empire. More important than even himself. As long as she remained by his side, she could imagine he loved her.

But no one loved her. She had been betrayed and left to fend for herself. She was alone in a mortal limbo—too wild to be welcomed by humans, and too weak to be accepted by demons. To make matters worse, she couldn't even attest to the fact that she was alive to begin with. What she was right now was a soulless body. With the pearl nearby, she could feel some pulse of life. But the pearl was in the hands of a demon who wanted her dead, and he would only kill her at the most opportune moment. Until _he_ decided, Rin was destined to forever wander as an empty shell, fated to be separate from everything she wanted and hoped for.

All because she thought being together forever with Sesshomaru would be all she needed to be happy.

For a moment, she wondered why she should even try and get the pearl back anymore. What good would it do? But then she would never know if she was going to die. Rin didn't put it past Shoujii to torment her in this fashion. No, she needed to have the pearl once again, even if it meant her useless life would be spared. At least then she could be allowed the dignity of ending it herself.

But she had only managed to take the Tenseiga. Shoujii had asked for both swords; perhaps he would be displeased enough to kill her for this. It was worth hoping for, she sadly realized. Right now, she was desperate to try anything that would put an end to her misery.

_I never should have been saved_, she mourned. _But if that is what the fates had planned, then I never should have loved him. I could have stopped that._

The sun was rising; Shoujii might send people out looking for her. If they then happened to find their way into the Western Lands, Sesshomaru would have yet another cause to hate her more than he already did. She slowly pulled herself onto her feet and brushed off her clothing.

Walking stiffly towards her fate, she couldn't help but notice how brightly the sun was shining. Didn't it know the world was coming to an end?

888888888


	7. Chapter 7

_The Pearl_

Disclaimer: I don't own it, but it sure owns me.

Chapter Seven

_Even though I seem not human, a mute shelf_

_of glucose, bottle blood, machinery_

_to swell the lung and pump the heart—even so,_

_do not put out my life. Let me still glow._

Dudley Randall, _To the Mercy Killers_

8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8

Rin would not look him in the face.

Shouji was circling her at a measured pace, drawing closer with each revolution. He chuckled darkly. "You failed to bring me the Tokijin," he stated matter-of-factly.

Rin set her jaw and straightened her spine.

He continued his orbit around the girl, slowly closing in. It gave him a wicked sense of glee when he drew close enough that she began to tremble.

"It does not surprise me," he continued. "Had you succeeded, I would have counted your Sesshomaru as a lesser man. But, as much as he may care for you, he cares for himself infinitely more." The demon then shrugged, and gave a lop-sided grin. "Heh. But I guess you of all people knew that."

The girl flinched at this, and he saw a tear slip hurriedly down her cheek.

He stopped in his tracks half a yard behind her back. "I suppose you think these to be your last moments, then," he murmured in a low, cold tone.

She clenched and unclenched her fists again and again, but she still refused to look up or make any sound. He would not be allowed that pleasure; she was determined of it.

Shouji took a step forward. "I will further suppose then, that it might bring you some comfort if I were to tell you hope is not lost in earning your little bauble back." His lids fell heavily over his eyes, and the sides of his mouth curved a hair's breadth.

The girl sniffed. The general smiled. He had her undivided attention.

Another step closer and the demon had his mouth next to Rin's ear. Her lower lip quivered.

"There is _another_ way," he whispered, then slowly took a step back. He'd caught her on his hook, and she would follow hopelessly on his line. "Come," he ordered.

The muscles in Rin's stomach clenched. After what had happened with Sesshomaru, she was certain she did not want to live. The pain that burned within her chest made each breath a desperate gulp for air. But in order to die, she had to have the pearl, and in order to have the pearl, she had to listen to whatever it was Shouji wanted. She turned, and followed.

He led her from the front foyer into the first main antechamber, where he had first held her captive. A doorway in the back led to a corridor that offered no openings until it joined with two other walkways at an angle with each other. Shouji maneuvered left. From what Rin had gathered from the layout of the house, she was going to meet up with a wall from the courtyard within the house. She swallowed, knowing that beyond that point there would be little hope of her being able to run. The halls were too narrow, and offered no escape until the end had been reached. But she followed, hoping that her new mission would be fruitful. If she had the pearl, she wouldn't have to worry about running away. Even if he was lying, and going to kill her once they stopped, it would be fine.

The demon was taking his time, letting the gradual constriction of the walls wear down on his follower. The more desperate and despondent she felt, the better. It only served to further his intent. The more she wanted to die, the harder she would work to live and make it happen.

His clawed hand suddenly caught onto the wall facing the house, and pulled a seemingly invisible door open. Rin's eyes were wide and she blinked in amazement. The door led into a small dark room with nothing in it, as much as Rin could see. Shouji walked to the center of the room, then bent down and pulled at a door in the floor, opening a dimly lit staircase underneath the room. The girl had to wonder if Shouji had designed his labyrinth of a house on purpose, or if it just happened accidentally as he added more to it with his growing wealth.

The staircase ended in view of a wall with a door, apparently to yet another room. When Shouji opened this door, he stepped aside and let Rin pass through first in a mock show of chivalry. She walked inside and waited for him to close the door and direct her steps further. The room was completely dark; moving without a set of eyes to see for her could be dangerous. But the demon did not intend to leave, for he strode about the room, gradually lighting lights. As he walked, he talked about his house.

"I grew up here, you know," he bragged. "This was my father's house. He was one of the greatest generals who ever lived in the East. When he died, it became my house."

Rin had to squint as her eyes became adjusted to the lanterns' glow. From what she could see through her teary vision, the walls were sparsely decorated, aside from a silk painting and a bucket hanging on the wall directly ahead from the door.

"Of course, I added some of myself to the architecture, but most of it remains as it was when I was a boy." The demon explained everything dryly, fluttering his wings and making the lights flicker. "My father was…quite a man. My mother could never be enough for him, though she did try. He killed her needlessly. After all, she gave him a son and heir. And that certainly didn't stop him from taking a few concubines. Some of them he kept for many years," Shouji said wistfully, as if remembering something entirely pleasant.

As the fires caught fully and grew, there appeared to nothing else but what she had seen on the wall. Rubbing her eyes, Rin swiveled her neck to take in her surroundings fully.

Her blood immediately froze when she looked to her left. _No_, she pleaded, _not this…_

Shouji grinned, making sure to show as much of his fangs as he could. He side-stepped over to her, and then bent at the waist to fully view her facial expression. When she could see him from the corner of her eye, she flicked her gaze down to his face. Rin's cheeks were red, and her eyes were glassy with unshed tears. Shoujii's grin widened.

"He had to keep them somewhere," the demon explained coldly.

Wedged against the left wall was a large sleeping pallet, with a generously stuffed futon on top. A thin blanket was sloppily pulled over it.

Rin immediately gagged, and clutched her stomach to try and control her fear induced revulsion. She was gritting her teeth while weeping softly; her eyes squeezed shut tightly, refusing to look at the bed.

"Now," Shouji purred, "do you know what you must do?"

Rin spun on her heels to shove herself directly in the demon's face. "I would rather DIE!" she screamed, ripping her throat raw.

The young general merely laughed mockingly. "But you can't," he reminded her cruelly.

The girl stomped her foot furiously. "Then I'll kill YOU instead!" she roared, fists clenched at her chest.

"With what?" he snorted. "Your bare hands? Tell me, are you going to beat me to death with those delicate little fists of yours, or will you rip my head off with your flat, dull teeth?"

"Whatever it takes," she growled. And at that moment, with her whole heart, Rin believed she could win. The anger in her blood burned away any common sense or doubt she had, leaving only blind rage. She _had_ to believe she could win.

Without warning, the demon's hands shot out from his sides and grappled on to the girl's biceps. A sharp squeeze, followed by a loud crackling and grinding, and Rin stifled her cry of anguish by chomping down on her lower lip. He let go, and she fell to her knees, unable to move her arms to stop herself from then falling to the floor.

"Now," Shouji spat, "as you lay there and recover from your shattered bones, let me explain something. Do not think for a minute that I will stay my hand from breaking each and every inch of your body. Unlike your _precious_ Sesshomaru-_sama_, I am free from any emotional attachment to you. And trust me, sweet lady," he leered, licking his lips, "the challenge only makes it more fun for me."

Rin groaned. The damage had taken a little over a minute to knit back together, but the pain from it lingered in her memory. Being away from the pearl was beginning to take its toll. If he broke enough of her at once, it would take a much longer time than she was used to for her to heal, which meant more time spent helpless and in pain. She was determined to never let him hear her scream, or let him see her as weak. If that happened, then he would have her at his mercy. _How can I survive?_ she desperately wondered. _Sesshomaru…_

No. He would not come. He had washed his hands of her, and she was truly alone for the first time since her family had died. What had she to live for then? _Myself? No._ Rin laughed bitterly. _What kind of life waits for me now? An eternity of wandering alone._ If she only had the pearl…

Perhaps, he would hold true to his promise and give it to her. Or she could find a way to work him up enough to kill her himself. There was still a glimmer of hope, but only to die. Death would be welcomed gratefully.

Rin stood and lifted her face to the demon. He smiled in triumph, before he grabbed her in a crushing embrace against his body and kissed her.

Her lips were bleeding from the bite of his fangs, and the taste burned her tongue. Rin shuddered when she could feel his hands on her waistband, unknotting the thin ties. Shouji yanked her pants from her body and ripped through her shirt before embedding his claws in her back and pulling them down through her skin. Rin was weeping in despair, and the demon ate her tears in delight. She regretted not running away. He might have killed her for that. But she knew it was never his intent to kill her now. She was only delaying the inevitable in playing along. This is what he had planned for from the beginning. She was a pawn on his side of the board, captured before even realizing it.

_No_, she thought, _that's not it at all. I knew there was no coming out of this. I was just too stubborn to let myself see it happen._

As Shouji pinned Rin's body underneath his own, her eyes widened with understanding. Housenki had lied. She was nothing more than a doll, with a demon yanking at her strings. The pearl had deceived her with its promise of eternal life.

_This is what it is like to die and live at the same time,_ she realized, feeling the familiar creep of Death's frigid breath in her blood. But Death was only teasing by this; it would not take her. Rin's body went limp, having given up resisting. It had always been futile. Why had it taken her until now to realize it?

_This is what it is like to live a life that is not your own._

888

He chained her to the wall in the corner, leaving her with a bucket for her wastes and not a stitch of clothing. She wasn't sure how long it had been since she was first put down in the room. When he was with her, she pulled herself as deep into her mind as possible. When she was alone, she tormented herself with the ghosts of her memory, forcibly reliving each horrible moment to weep from the futility of it all.

He was always cautious. Two or three servants always preceded him into the room. She hurled the bucket at them. She kicked and punched. She even managed to strangle one to death with the chain. But in the end, for all her fighting she was left weakened and defenseless. He would take her into his arms then, and do as he pleased.

His voice haunted her. Her skin still crawled with the memories of his touch.

_Groaning softly into her back, he dug his claws into her hips and pulled his body away. Then he squeezed his fingers further into her skin, listening to her muffled tears._

"_Don't want any hanyous now, do we?" he whispered, before pulling her against him once more._

_Rin swallowed her scream. No one would have held it against her, but she did it all the same._

She had tried not fighting the servants, opting to save all of her strength for when Shouji finally arrived. He broke her pelvic bone the first time, and pulled all four limbs from their sockets on the second. Rin still persisted.

It wasn't for the hope of escape that she fought for. Even if she did manage to run, she would only run to kill herself. She fought because the demon had no right to treat her as he did. She knew in her soul he should not be able to easily get away with the things he forced upon her, against her will. Each second she was with him was a battle to defend what little of her honor remained. For that and that alone would she fight; for that alone she would also weep in the dark after the room had emptied.

"_C'mon," the demon taunted. "I can smell your tears in the mattress. Why do you insist on being so dignified with me?"_

_Rin turned away as best she could, gritting her teeth with fury._

_Shouji grinned wickedly. "I find your little weaknesses to be quite arousing," he mocked._

_She had tried to bite his nose off. He knocked her out by cracking his skull against hers, and when she woke an extra chain had been added. Its purpose was to force enough weight upon her so that she could barely lift her head. It worked._

As hard as she tried, Rin could not provoke the moth demon into losing his temper for more than a second. He would take any anger he felt out on her as it came, and never once did he threaten to take her life. She was afraid she had become too useful to kill.

She had, perversely, found her place in the world.

888888888

Takako was a woman of fine breeding, but was first and foremost a demon. In her entire life, she had only killed three people: an overly amorous human samurai, a low level carrion feeder, and the man she was first betrothed to.

Looking at Sesshomaru as he stood in the rubble that was once a wing of his house, she was tempted to bump the list up to four.

It was always her habit to wait and watch for Rin each night the girl was away. Kyoshii chided her for it, but he always smiled when his wife returned to bed, heralding the child's return. Both dog demons loved the girl as a daughter, and felt true peace in their hearts so long as she was safe.

Four days, and still no Rin. She had promised to take only three. This lateness was the first Takako could ever remember. She didn't sleep the night before, because she didn't want to accidentally miss Rin's return. No sight, no sound and no word from the girl came. Worry would be the least severe of the emotions the couple felt.

Then, on the fourth night, the demoness saw the girl galloping towards the house. Takako was relieved at first, and relaxed enough to smile. But something was not right; the horse was not Kado. The saddle she was using was far too big. Rin would know better than to ride so haphazardly. Gently padding out to the front gate, Takako watched the girl intently, looking for any good or ill signs. The horse was discarded like a toy, and Rin made the final approach on foot. It looked as though she was going to use the side door, signaling her return from a mission. She was home, and it was done.

For a few minutes Takako merely stood and held her breath, listening. Something still wasn't quite right with what she had seen. Quickly she felt like a paranoid old woman, and scolded herself for being so suspicious. Rin had come home in one piece, hadn't she?

Hadn't she?

Takako had to be sure. Twirling around in a flurry of silk, she flew into the house hurriedly and skidded across the bedroom floor. Falling to her knees, she shook her husband roughly, waking the demon up with a start.

"What is it?" he groaned, squinting his eyes.

"Rin's home," Takako breathed.

Kyoshii smiled. "That's good," he yawned, and started to lay back down.

But his wife would have none of it. "No, no," she insisted, "it isn't good. Something's wrong!"

This jolted any holds sleep may have still had on the general. He quickly rose to his feet and helped Takako to hers. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know, I don't know," she cried. Her hands were fumbling against his shirt, trying to straighten out the fabric. "Just get dressed, we've got to go see what's wrong."

"Shh, alright," Kyoshii soothed. He walked over to his dresser and began pulling out a long shirt. The pants he was wearing would do for now, he decided; out of habit, he also began tying on his armor.

Takako was frantic. "We don't have time for that!" she hissed angrily.

"What are you talking about? Of course we do. Just calm down; you need to get dressed too. Here," he said gently, walking towards her. "Let me help you. It's alright."

She was shaking; how had she gotten herself so worked up? Managing to sloppily pull on a plain kimono, she let Kyoshii straighten her out while she braided her hair. Centuries of practice made her fingers dance through the tresses, and by the time she was finished her clothes were properly tied and fitted.

Kyoshii pulled his wife into a tight hug. "I don't know why you're so worked up," he murmured, "but I know you must have a reason. Whatever it is, she'll be okay."

Takako could only nod, and squeeze her arms around her husband. For a moment, she allowed herself the warmth of the embrace, letting it steel her nerves. With a heavy breath, she stepped back and looked pleadingly at Kyoshii. "May we go?"

It was a long walk to the fortress from their house. Rin always rode her horse. The General rarely ever visited; any messages could be sent to him, and any troops needing guidance could be best served in the field in front of his house. Both of them smiled wryly as they found the bare trail in the grass made by Rin's comings and goings.

They were just about to the front gate, when the whole world spun into chaos. Like a shot, Rin was galloping away on her borrowed horse, screaming as if hellions were on her back. Takako cried out to the girl, but was drowned out by the sudden explosion from inside the fortress walls. Alarm bells immediately sounded, and torches flickered on in a chain reaction.

"Let me in!" the general bellowed.

Fortunately, the guard manning the gate was seasoned enough to recognize the honored general's voice right away. The doors were pulled open, and the young captain ran down to greet his commanding officer.

"What is going on?" Kyoshii demanded.

"I don't know yet, sir," the captain replied, walking briskly forward. He escorted the general and his wife through the second and final gates, into the main courtyard of the Western palace.

Soldiers were buzzing about, all running back and forth from the back garden. Above the house, a billowing cloud of smoke curled into the night sky, forming an ominous cloud overhead. The threesome rushed over to where all the activity seemed to be centered. The scene that greeted them was enough to make even Kyoshii gasp in shock.

An entire wing of the house had been demolished. Splintered lumber covered every inch of ground; some of it was even embedded into the wall surrounding the garden. As for the garden itself, it was in ruins. Every tree had been leveled, and smaller plants had been ripped from the ground, roots and all.

In the middle of everything, Sesshomaru stood, looking for all the world like he had just been wrestling Death before the walls came down.

The demon lord was raging, and everyone was too terrified to get close, much less ask what had just happened. His eyes were red and wide, staring blankly through the three walls surrounding his fortress and thousands of yards beyond that. Everyone could see that he was fighting a full-on transformation, and was only barely winning. The dog demon's face had elongated into a more canine appearance, and needle sharp rows of fangs gnashed themselves on air. His back was hunched over, surging against his inclination to fall onto his arm and legs. Even worse were the gale force winds his demonic powers were raging within, picking up any litter in range and sending it back into the air as projectile weapons. Only Jakken was brave enough to get close, but he kept a healthy distance.

Only one thought pounded in Takako's mind, and it was her concern for Rin's welfare. Obviously Sesshomaru's rage had something to do with the girl's return and hasty departure. Had she been injured? Was she okay? What had caused their lord to become unhinged like this? Had he done her harm?

Ripping herself away from Kyoshii's side, the demoness ran towards the raging dog demon. "Sesshomaru-sama!" she screamed. "What happened to Rin!"

As if a magic spell had just been uttered, Sesshomaru sucked in his breath and staggered. The winds began to calm slowly, and the air felt as if gravity had softened its pull. Gradually, his features returned to normal. He shook his head, repeating the words that had jarred him back to reality. _What happened to Rin?_ Had he done something to her? He couldn't remember; the demon blood roaring in his ears made it hard to think. It was at that moment that his legs, which had been exhausted under the strains of his condition, gave out.

Takako was there in the nick of time to catch Sesshomaru as he fell. Of course he pushed himself away from the woman and stumbled forward, before successfully pulling himself to his feet once more. The world was coming back into focus, and his thoughts turned from waves, to ripples, and then to calm. _What happened to Rin?_ Now he remembered.

She was waiting expectantly for his answer. The state of her heart hinged on what he had to say. "Please," she begged, "is she well? Where did she go?"

"Go?" Sesshomaru rasped. He lifted his head to make eye-contact with the lady before him.

The demoness nodded eagerly. "She left," Takako explained. "Please, tell me why she's gone!"

Sesshomaru straightened his spine and schooled his features into a fearsome scowl. "This Sesshomaru is no longer concerned with the whereabouts of that girl," he snorted. "She is no longer welcome back here."

She heard everyone gasp before she realized what she had done. Looking down to her hand, she saw it had come down at an angle from a location farther up, that location being Sesshomaru's face. He merely stood there in silence, glaring at the woman.

Kyoshii rushed forward and grabbed his wife. "What are you thinking!" he demanded. "You dishonor yourself with this foolishness!"

"I don't care!" Takako screamed, then pointed a clawed finger at the demon lord. "Don't you see? He's run Rin off! How can I sit still and let this happen!"

"She stole the Tenseiga," Sesshomaru murmured darkly. "She claimed it was needed in a bargain with General Shoujii."

"A bargain?" the demoness gasped. "For what?"

"Nothing of consequence," the demon lord snapped. "It doesn't matter now. She is not coming back."

Kyoshii tightened his grip on his wife, sensing her body beginning to wind itself up. "There's nothing we can do," he tried telling her.

"Yes we can! We can go after her!" Takako cried desperately.

"No one is to go after her!" Sesshomaru yelled. "She is a thief and a nuisance, and there is no need for her here. There never was a need for her here, and this Sesshomaru is glad she finally realized it."

"You LIAR!" Takako shrieked, lunging forward. Kyoshii barely managed to contain her, and got a swipe across his back from Takako's claws for his efforts. Sesshomaru merely looked on apathetically.

"General Kyoshii," he sneered, "see that your woman is reminded under whose house you serve."

"Your mother would never stand for this!" Takako cried bitterly as she was being dragged away.

"My mother would have killed Rin, and you know it," Sesshomaru hissed. He turned sharply on his heel and stalked back into his house, signaling that nothing more was to be said on the matter. In his wake, soldiers began to move in and clean up the chaotic mess.

She nearly missed it, but she was positive it was there. Before he had pulled his eyes away from hers, a look of pure sorrow fell over his face, continuing on its fluttering path to the ground. Only for a second, yet she understood; he knew his mother would be ashamed of the way he treated Rin, human or not.

The demoness stopped struggling and let herself be led home. There, she spent the rest of the night in her husband's arms, sobbing for her poor lost daughter.

"She's still alive," Kyoshii whispered, wiping tears away from his own eyes. "Let us hope this is the worst that can happen."

888

Following Takako's departure, Sesshomaru stormed into his house, kicking rubble aside as he went. True to form, Jakken was in tow; however the faithful retainer remained silent and pensive, waiting for the opportune time to address his master. There had been little Jakken could gather from the information that had been given. According to his lord, Rin had taken the Tenseiga and run. But why? Rin would never do such a thing. And why had it effected Sesshomaru like it had?

Damnably, the dog demon's feet pulled him to the girl's room out of habit. Realizing where he was, Sesshomaru ripped through the door and stepped inside. The back wall had a few holes in it, but was for the most part intact. The sun was gradually rising, allowing enough light to see. Her room was a mess, or at least he thought so. Clothes were strewn about everywhere. If he was inclined to think romantically, the colorful array might appear to him like a gently rippling pool caught in the sunlight. But he was of a war-like mentality, and because of that his eyes quickly caught sight of the small arsenal in the corner.

There were three swords of graduating lengths, two spears, a trident, a well worn bow with a quiver of six arrows, two small powder kegs, and a sickle on a chain, all hanging or leaning in a haphazard manner. Narrowing his eyes, Sesshomaru stalked over and immediately snatched the sickle.

Kohaku had given this to her, just like he had made the clothing she always wore on her missions. With a sneer, he recalled how accommodating the young demon slayer had been in his brief stay at the palace. Like a perfect gentleman would, he insisted on escorting Rin back home from his village, and like a perfect lady would, Rin had allowed it. Of course Sesshomaru didn't care that a demon slayer was tagging along after his ward, touring his house with learned eyes. The odds of the boy coming back to kill anyone were slim, and the odds of the boy surviving for more than two minutes if he returned were slimmer. Besides, the boy had this crazy idea that he owed Sesshomaru for the times the demon lord could have easily killed the boy, but didn't. Sesshomaru had merely stayed his hand because it would infuriate Naraku to do so. And yet the way he acted would lead one to believe that it was Rin who had spared his life, and not her guardian.

The demon angrily embedded the curved blade in the wall and growled. There was no doubting that Kohaku had fallen in love with Rin. Yet every opportunity that presented itself was rejected on her part, and the young man left with every intention he had for her crushed. At the time, Sesshomaru thought Rin's reaction was out of her dedication to her new calling; getting romantically involved would seriously jeopardize her performance as a killer. But images swirled about Sesshomaru's mind, remembering the polite smiles and courtly manner Rin had treated Kohaku with. All of this was opposed to the hearty laughter and warm conversation she had always given to him.

Stepping to the side in order to examine the trident, he nearly slipped on something lying on the floor. Looking down he searched for whatever it was that annoyed him; under his bare feet he found Rin's white training uniform. Stooping down, he picked both pieces up and examined them carefully. The shirt was ripped and stained from the night she fought with Katsuro. Sesshomaru clenched the material in his fist; yes, there was another male hot after Rin's affections.

When she first attached the affectionate "kun" to the general's name, Sesshomaru nearly laughed. The thought of a gangly teenage girl referring to a virile demon warrior in such a cutesy manner was truly a fine joke. But the young dog demon had allowed it. He continued allowing it as Rin grew older, and as the name grew less and less cute. Now it was affectionate, and implied fond friendship between the male and the young female. Rin wasn't naïve to the ways of men, but she wasn't what one would call experienced. Listening to the soldiers tell of their romantic interludes gave Rin a good idea of what a man would like to happen when alone with a woman. Part of this information was applied to her work, and enabled the quick, clean kills she was well-known for. The rest of it was stored in her mind as a warning, so she would be prepared should any of these actions be returned to her in kind.

Sesshomaru was no fool when it came to the leisurely pursuits of soldiers. As a callow youth, he had partaken in many of them, but never to an over indulgent degree. His father made him focus his energies on fighting and educating himself, so that he could become a fit heir to the Western Lands. Katsuro was well-known for his affairs, and for that Sesshomaru was always guarded towards Rin when she was training. Despite everything the general had said to contradict any attraction he felt, his eyes did not lie. Katsuro was quite brave to leer at Rin while she was in the company of her lord; Sesshomaru wished now he had done something about it.

But Rin was either totally clueless or purposefully ignorant. Perhaps a little of both; her reaction to Katsuro's advances was startled self-defense. Either way, she had rejected him, just as she had rejected Kohaku. Come to think of it, just as she never let her eye stray too long on any male, lest the look be returned. He was the only one…

_Shit_, Sesshomaru thought slumping forward in self-defeat.

"Sesshomaru-sama?" Jakken inquired tentatively.

The dog demon leaned forward and propped himself by his arm on the dressing cabinet in front of him. His hair covered any view of his face, and for that he was grateful; if Jakken saw him as anything else but stoic, he feared the toad actually might laugh at him.

"Jakken," he replied, acknowledging he had heard the request and was signaling the go ahead.

The imp was standing by the bed, petting a kimono he found laying amidst the heap. If Sesshomaru had bothered to look, he would have recognized it as the little pink and red one she had worn on their trip to Totosai's forge. The master may have been ignorant, but the faithful retainer was swimming in memory, barely surfacing to splash along the shores of the here and now.

"Rin is gone," Jakken sighed, and he wasn't sure if he meant it as a question or a statement. Whatever the case, Sesshomaru made no motion to acknowledge either.

It was times like this that the dog demon was starkly reminded of why he had kept the toad in his service for so many years. It was times like this that spoke of Jakken's character beyond the groveling and the humiliating displays of inferiority.

"When are we going to get her back?"

The words stung in his chest like a branding iron. "We," the toad had said. Rin belonged to Jakken too. She belonged to Takako, and Kyoshii, and even Kado. She belonged to him as well, but he tricked himself into thinking she was his alone.

"I can't," the demon rasped in the informal first person. His defenses were breaking down; he had been wrong, terribly wrong in forcing Rin off like he had. She had given him something he had never even considered himself capable of giving in return. Until now. He had wronged her, and he was sorry.

"Why not?" Jakken quivered. His grip on the kimono tightened.

"Because she is dead."

"Dead!" Jakken wailed. "How is…why has…who!" He was sputtering as fast as his head was spinning. _Rin dead? But she can't die. She just can't._

Sesshomaru straightened his posture and made eye-contact with his servant. Even Jakken was a complete mess. His hat was missing, as was the Staff of Heads. He was hugging a piece of cloth and looking to his master with watery eyes for reassurance.

"Shoujii has the pearl," the demon lord explained coolly. "Rin may already be dead."

"But you don't know for sure!" the imp cheered triumphantly. "That means there's still a chance to get her!"

_That's right_, Sesshomaru realized, _there's still hope. I don't deserve a second chance, but she does. That much I can give her._

Sesshomaru fixed his features into a mask of boredom. Secretly in his heart, Jakken jumped for joy. Action was on the horizon.

"Gather three battalions and have them make ready to march. See that they are well equipped. Also have them ready a fourth battalion to be waiting, should there be need for them." It was a start; he knew it would take at least a day for all of this to happen, but it was one foot in the door. Sesshomaru was taking wide steps out of the room and back down the hallway. From behind, Jakken was scurrying along and panting wildly in efforts to keep up.

"Is there anything else, Sesshomaru-sama?" he cried eagerly.

Sesshomaru slammed down his feet to stop and locked his legs together. Rigidly, he turned to face his retainer. "You will stay here and see that the repairs go quickly. This Sesshomaru will bring Rin home--" _dead or alive_ "—and it is your responsibility to see that her room is made ready for her return."

Jakken was too excited to reply, and instead gave an eager squawk as he sped off in the direction of the barracks.

He knew he might be too late to save her life, and for that he would never forgive himself. But he could not go on living knowing that he could have reached her side in time.

888888888

Tonight, he slept with her. In order to do so safely, he fastened a yoke over her neck and bolted it to the floor. The rest of her body remained on the bed, limbs tied together at the wrists and ankles. Thus, he slept soundly beside the broken girl, while she remained awake through the night, diligently trying to escape. Each time he woke up and turned to find her struggling, he laughed.

"You are truly one of a kind, Rin-chan," he praised, before sinking his teeth into a particularly tender piece of her flesh.

Rin raised her head as best as she could and spat. "_Don't_ call me 'chan'," she hoarsely insisted.

Shouji edged his teeth in further, then lifted his head and spat Rin's own blood into her face.

That had been three hours ago.

Everything about her positively reeked. That was the one thing she never struggled against, when the servants came to bathe her. Actually, it was more of the servants bringing her a bucket of cold water, some soap, and a sponge, so she could bathe herself. Food was refused. Any sort of comfort offered to her, like a blanket or a pillow, was also turned down. Baths helped her to forget—helped her wash _him_ away.

He was awake again.

Groaning, he lifted his body onto his hands and knees for a good stretch. Rin's muscles twitched jealously, and the ache in her body flared anew.

The demon kissed her tenderly, then nuzzled her cheek with his nose. "Good morning, Rin," he murmured softly. Unhinged by Shoujii's emotional manipulation, she began to struggle once more. He merely laughed, before his claws found her stomach and raked them across her skin.

"You're always so grumpy in the mornings," he chided giddily. "Why can't you just once greet me back, hm?"

"Before I die, I _will _kill you!" Rin shouted bitterly. Her answer was a hard punch to the gut.

"Before you die?" Shoujii whispered darkly, "Haven't you died already?"

She coughed up something, and struggled to spit it out of her mouth. Not without a great deal of pain did she manage to turn her head ever so slightly and expel the thick and foul substance. She was struggling to catch her breath after the blow to her belly, but the coughing had turned into dry heaves.

"Oh dear," the demon gasped, "I think I hit you a little too hard. Here, let's try this." And then he reached above her head to pick up a key off the floor and unlock the collar. Rin felt her spirits lift, even though she knew she was too weak to use her freedom to fight back. Right now, all she wanted to do was curl into a ball and sleep. Her heart sang when she heard the key click into the lock; but he didn't turn it.

"Almost forgot," he laughed, placing his hands down on her shoulders. "Hold still."

Rin couldn't stop her screaming as all of his weight pressed down into her, shattering the bones. Her mouth flapped open and closed like a fish's, and she whimpered intermittently. She had been effectively reduced to a defenseless infant. The collar was unlocked, and Shoujii gently dragged her down so she could lie on the mattress better. Her hands and legs started shaking from the strain her body was under, but she found herself slipping in and out of consciousness despite it all.

"Shhh," Shoujii consoled, stroking the welts across her belly. "I just wanted to hold you for a bit. I didn't think you'd consent to that quietly, but I'm sure you'll come around." He curled his naked body around hers, pushing until she curled into a fetal position.

"There," he sighed, "that's better. Why don't you try to sleep? I'm still a little drowsy myself." Shoujii yawned in a slow, large gape, and then settled his mouth at the center point between her shoulders, neck, and spine. "Just sleep," he murmured.

But she had blacked out already.

888

"Get her up!"

Rin opened her eyes to greet a deluge of light and feet. Weak and starved, the additional chain around her neck became a burden too heavy to bear. At first, she couldn't tell if it was daylight or torches that illuminated the room. Where _was_ she? It was hard to remember. She realized she had fallen asleep out of exhaustion, but she didn't know when, and for how long.

"Clean her up and put some clothes on her."

Rough hands were yanking her from off the ground—clawed hands. _Demons_, she dimly realized. It was starting to come back to her. She had been sleeping next to a demon in the night. And he had…

The chains were unlocked and thrown aside; the ghostly weight of a metal collar haunted her skin. Her hand immediately clasped her throat searching for something she knew would not be there. But she still hoped.

"What's going on?" she hoarsely whispered. She was being pulled onto her feet and yanked into a pair of pants and a shirt. A cup of water was forced to her mouth and splashed across her face when she couldn't swallow fast enough. Rin struggled to take it all in though it stung her tongue, which had dried out from want of moisture.

Shouji grabbed Rin by the hair and lifted her face to his. "Your Sesshomaru-sama has decided to storm the castle," he gritted angrily. "And you need to look presentable enough for me to use you."

"Use me?" Rin shuddered.

The demon fisted the girl's hair tightly, scratching her scalp with his claws before he yanked his fingers through the matted mess. He then smiled confidently, and caressed her cheek. "He can have his precious sword back," the general sneered, "and anything else he wants for that matter. Just as long as I can keep you. And if I know him at all, you won't be anything greatly missed."

An explosion sounded just south of the room, most likely at the outer wall. They weren't wasting any time; in a moment they would be at the front door.

"WALK!" Shoujii ordered, then yanked Rin behind him up the steps and down the hall.

She was too dizzy, too tired, and too frightened to keep up. The demon ended up dragging her across the floor by her arm, all the way through the house and through his front door, onto the platform outside. True to form, hordes of soldiers were pouring through the front gate, overwhelming anything that fell under their path. From their midst came Sesshomaru; the dog demon charged towards his foe.

He looked so different to her, and she had to wonder just how long it had been since she had last seen him. His clothes were completely white, without any pattern or decoration. The breastplate he wore was the same, but the fur pelt he carried over his shoulder was gone, and an armor sleeve had taken its place overtop his clothing. His hair was tied up in a high ponytail, making him look much older, if that was at all possible.

He didn't look at her.

"Sesshomaru!" Shoujii greeted arrogantly. "And what do I owe the pleasure of this visit to?"

"You have something that belongs to this Sesshomaru," the dog demon growled.

Shoujii grinned wickedly. "Oh?" he replied nonchalantly. "And what exactly would that be? The sword, or the girl?"

Rin was still being held by the arm, while the rest of her body trailed limply behind across the floor. It was all she could do to keep her head raised, looking for any sign of recognition from her lord. Not once did his eyes ever stray from the moth demon's face. He may not have chosen to look upon her, but she quickly realized he was scenting her to quietly determine her state of being. Rin felt her face flare red when she saw Sesshomaru's features reveal his disgust.

The rival general chuckled. With great show, he hefted Rin up onto his hip, resting by her torso. Her head lolled back down as the vertigo got the best of her. Now the only clear view she had was of two sets of boots.

"You really missed out on something here, old boy," Shoujii sneered. Then he leaned in closer. "Confidentially, she's the best I've ever had," he taunted.

"Where is the Tenseiga!" Sesshomaru demanded, brandishing Tokijin forward.

The moth demon released his hold on Rin and let her flop onto the wooden platform in a heap. He was still laughing; if she were to never hear a sound again, it would be his maddening laughter. Her whole body was shaking. Embarrassingly she realized that she was close to either throwing up or passing out; neither one would help her in the present situation. A pitiful groan managed to escape her lips, and Shoujii tapped his heel into her ribs to silence her. The force of the small kick turned Rin onto her side, where she could see Sesshomaru from between the moth demon's legs.

He still would not look at her.

"You can have the Tenseiga, and you can burn this whole place down for all I care," Shoujii challenged. "When all is said and done, I'm going to leave here unharmed, and I'm taking her with me."

The dog demon was still sniffing the air, searching for something else. It was hard for him to smell much of anything, now that the house had been set on fire. _Perhaps if I cry_, Rin thought bitterly, _he will smell my tears and then look at me_.

"Nothing will stop this Sesshomaru from killing you," the dog demon snarled. "Prepare yourself." At this, he spread his legs and bent both knees, coiling his muscles to spring into a run. Tokijin raised and fangs bared, Sesshomaru smiled dangerously.

Shoujii wasted no time in his attack. The poisonous webbing spewed from his mouth and spun towards its target. But the dog demon merely sheathed Tokijin, extended his hand, and waited. When the silken snake touched his arm, Sesshomaru let the poisonous gas he housed in his claws spray freely. The moth demon watched in horror as his primary defense mechanism was liquefied in the air where it hovered.

_Shit_, he thought dumbly. _Didn't know about that_. If he was to have the upper hand at all, the fight would have to be with swords alone. Pulling himself back into safety, the moth demon drew his sword and then charged. Sesshomaru effortlessly parried the first blow, and the two were drawn into a heated match for dominance.

Not once had he looked at her.

_Damn him!_ Rin cursed to herself. _I hope they kill each other._

"Heh, so this is the Tokijin, eh? I should have had her go back for it," Shoujii jeered. He artfully dodged a bolt of the sword's pressure, and gave a token nod of respect. "I was too busy with the girl to try out your other sword, but I'm fairly certain that even this one would hold my interest for very long."

Sesshomaru was fighting sloppily. The majority of his strength and poise was being funneled into keeping his demon blood under control. He had promised himself to show no emotion towards Rin whatsoever, in hopes that Shoujii would leave her in favor of fighting him. His whole body felt as if a giant weight had been lifted when he saw her there, alive. But what he had smelled, and what he was hearing now made controlling his rage an all-consuming task. Still, they were far enough away from Rin that she would not be caught in the fray. For that he could at least be thankful.

Rin in the meantime had crawled down from the platform to avoid the rapidly spreading fire from the house. Grappling her way towards a clean patch of grass, she then flopped face down and heaved an exhausted sigh. From where she lay, the two fighters were still within her line of vision.

"You're weak!" Shoujii shouted. "You should have used her in the bedroom instead of the battlefield! You sent a human to fight a demon's war, and look where it got you!"

The arrogant bastard seemed to think fighting was a conversational art. Sesshomaru relished in the youthful exuberance of his opponent. He knew a kill-shot was still out of range due to the moth demon's agility, but he could still get a clean swipe across the chest. If he had smelled right, the pearl was somewhere about that area, and hopefully it would fall free and safely to the ground.

A clean diagonal cut, and Shoujii's breast-plate was cracked apart. Underneath the armor, his shirt ripped. A glint of silver caught Sesshomaru's eye, and he watched the necklace shake loose from its pouch and hit the dirt. Now he didn't have to hold back, for fear of damaging the pearl.

Unbeknownst to either of the fighting demons, Rin had seen the necklace fall as well. It was as though merely seeing it gave life to her ailing body. Her eyes were fixed on the pearl, and nothing was going to stand in her way of reaching it. Madly scrambling across the battlefield, Rin dove forward when she was close and reached. The cold metal in her palm was sweeter than any lover's touch.

She had the pearl in her hands again, finally. Immediately she could feel the life rush back into her bones, warming her skin and firing her pulse. It felt _good_ to be alive.

But only for a moment. She could see him just ahead, fighting with Shouji.

There was a flat rock off to her left. As she crawled over, her hand snatched a sword from a fallen soldier. She used the blade to cut away the ends of the necklace, leaving only the setting intact. Idly, she wondered if she would cross paths with the soldier on the way to hell, and if he'd ask for the sword back. She would hold it tightly then, just in case.

"Rin!" Sesshomaru shouted. It was the first time he acknowledged she was there. She didn't look.

Laying the pearl carefully on the rock, Rin searched frantically for another blunt object. She was desperate to smash it to dust and be done with it all. Fumbling through the grass, her hand found a small stone. It would have to do.

"RIN!" Sesshomaru yelled. She gritted her teeth in anger.

The first strike was clumsy, with the stone slipping down the slope of the pearl fluidly, instead of landing squarely on a surface point. Holding the pearl then with her left hand, she began pounding steadily at it with her right. She was hoping to start just one crack; pearls were soft, and if she could make that first weakness appear, the rest would finish itself. The pain was blinding her with a white nothingness, but her hands were so determined in their task that eyes were not needed.

From the corner of his eye, he could see her. Rin's face was twisted with anger and hurt, and all of it was directed at the white stone she pinned to the ground. She was beating on it with every ounce of strength she could spare, determined to smash apart what they'd worked so hard to build.

_No_, Sesshomaru realized sadly, _I already destroyed it for her. She's just finishing the job._

He had to make it in time.

"She hates you," Shoujii sneered, jumping back from the arc of Sesshomaru's sword. "She'd rather die than be with you!"

The dog demon snarled.

Rin cried out in anguish. _Why won't the damn thing break!_ Already, she was frantically pounding with all of her might, not caring that both of her hands were bleeding, or that her bones were breaking. A high pitched squeal stilled her motions for a second. A crack had finally appeared on the pearl's surface. Waves of pain flooded down her spine, but she was too far gone to notice. With renewed strength, Rin began beating the stones together once more.

Shoujii howled with delight. "You've failed!" he cried gleefully. "You can't kill me and save her at the same time! What are you going to choose?"

Sesshomaru roared in anger. It didn't matter if his demon blood took over now; Shoujii was no longer a potential threat to Rin. He needed to kill the bastard as quickly as possible.

"I don't have to choose!" he cried, barreling forward. Shoujii thrust his weapon out and Sesshomaru caught the point in his left shoulder. And he kept coming.

He had wished it to be slow and painful, instead of quick and clean; still, this would be enough. Tokijin came across and sliced right through Shoujii's middle. When Sesshomaru pulled his sword away, the moth demon fell in two parts to the ground. On his face was a smile, ever arrogant to the end.

Sesshomaru couldn't hesitate; his victory was incomplete. Throwing Tokijin aside and pulling Shoujii's sword out of his shoulder, he bounded towards Rin in a desperate run.

She looked at him.

He was there in another second, and heaved a sigh of relief to see that the pearl was not completely broken. But again, it was his poor judgment that caused him to lose her.

Rin took the pearl into her hand and swung her arm forward, screaming in anguish. Her palm impacted against Sesshomaru's breastplate with a loud thud, coupled with a high pitched squeal of scraping metal. He could hear the pieces as they rained down along the surface of his armor. The pearl had been broken.

Her face was one of exhausted happiness, and she closed her eyes as she gave a pitiful laugh. Before his eyes her skin was turning an ashen grey, and a waxy sheen covered the surface. Rolling her eyes back, Rin fell limply to the ground, dead.

Sesshomaru dropped to his knees. _She can't die_, he insisted. _I promised her she couldn't die._ His hand darted to her throat, and he ran his fingers along her neck in a frantic search for a pulse. There was nothing. He grabbed her by the shoulder and shook her roughly. Still, no response. He screamed at her, swore, cursed, and pounded at the dirt beside her face. Not even a death rattle in reply.

His transformation was excruciatingly painful; it felt like his body exploded into his larger dog demon form, ripping skin and muscles apart. Sesshomaru had not fully assumed his true person since Inuyasha cut off his arm. Three legs or none, it did not matter. With the greatest care, he slid his tongue under Rin's body and gently pulled her into his mouth. His mind was fixed on a single location, and nothing short of Hell opening up the ground beneath his feet was going to stop his flight.

_Housenki._

888888888

A/N: This chapter is officially dedicated to Botan, my quasi-beta, my unassuming muse, and my best friend. Yes, I am well aware "vocabularic" is not a real word, but it is mine all the same. I am comforted knowing you will forever giggle at the weird S&M basement, even when I'm not there. Thank you also for teaching me that horses should be let alone, and how to break jewelry with finesse.

Secondly, I dedicate the story thus far to my faithful (and dare I say enthusiastic) readers and reviewers. Ask Botan—I cry like a little girl whenever I get a glowing review. I couldn't be happier, thank goodness. I especially appreciate the people who wrote those charming missives. Wow. I never thought this story would get such notice, and for that I am truly humbled.


	8. Chapter 8

_The Pearl_

Disclaimer: Ooh look! A disclaimer!

Chapter Eight

"_If—you—do!" She was opening the door wider._

"_Where do you mean to go? First tell me that._

_I'll follow and bring you back by force. I _will_!--"_

--Robert Frost, _Home Burial_

_Abandon all hope, ye who enter here._ --Dante, _Inferno_

8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8

To the North, there is a small range of mountains. These peaks, crags, and cliffs are bare of any color except the warm, golden brown of their rocky surfaces. The temperature is unbearably hot, even for a demon. These are the Fire Mountains.

Beneath the surface of this desolate plot of earth is the ceiling of Hell.

Somewhere near the center of this area, there is a large cave, gaping open on the side of a mountain ledge. Enter the cave, and the temperature suddenly drops. Now, the chill is enough to prick your very soul. Grey stones of peculiar shapes jut awkwardly out of the floor and ceiling. If the lighting is just right, or if your vision is sharp enough, it will be obvious that the rock formations are actually corpses of demons that have been turned to stone. Deeper still into the cave, a pale, blue light will show the end of the path. A round set of iron doors, which are chained shut, are nested firmly into the back wall of the cave. This is the gate to Hell—the only passage to the underworld that exists in the mortal realm. On either side of these tall doors, looming statue sentinels guard the gate from intruders. It is a cold, unforgiving place, and almost all who venture into the cave's depths will not survive.

Sesshoumaru never thought he would have to return to this accursed place. But Housenki had been insistent; this was the only way Rin could be brought back.

888

The demon jeweler did not quite know what to make of a giant, poison breathing dog holding a dead human girl at his doorstep. The only thing he could be certain of was that it had to be his fault in some way.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?" Housenki squeaked.

Sesshoumaru quickly changed his appearance into his smaller form. Rin's limp body was cradled against his chest as best as he could with just one arm. The wound Shoujii had inflicted on his left shoulder was still sore, and his instinct to favor the injured part threw him slightly off balance when the weight of the girl was added. He just gritted his teeth and held onto her tightly, afraid that she was still searching for yet another way to leave him.

Fueled by bitterness and a sore heart, the dog demon approached Housenki with fangs bared and eyes ablaze, ready to take whatever course of action played before his eyes first.

"Tell this Sesshoumaru how to fix this," he spat through his teeth. "_Now_!"

Housenki shuddered and cowered a little at being barked at so loudly. "Um," he tittered nervously, avoiding eye contact, "what exactly happened?"

Suddenly, the demon lord crashed to his knees, still clutching the girl he held onto tightly. His eyes turned hollow, as if he had withdrawn into a far corner of himself, but his mouth fell open to show that he still had a small link to reality. If he didn't get a hold of himself, he might start crying. It was just that embarrassing. There could be no denying that his relationship with Rin was superficial; after all, Sesshoumaru had nearly gone to pieces in front of Housenki the last time he visited. He just _knew_ this idiotic tradesman was trying to make him admit what the girl really meant to him out loud. The whole world was clamoring to hear endearments of Rin, because they wanted to see him made weak. But cruel reality of it all was that it wasn't Rin's presence in his life that made him vulnerable—it was her absence.

"She's dead," Sesshoumaru whispered. A chill gripped his heart; somehow, saying it aloud vanquished any hope he might have been clinging to against this cruel fact. _She's dead, she's dead, she's dead!_ he screamed at himself. But it was not the screaming voice in his head that unsettled his heart. Instead, it was the quiet whispers in the deepest, darkest corner, softly chanting, _And it's all your fault._

The jeweler gulped and took a few steps closer. "Begging your pardon my lord," he timidly ventured, "but that much I can tell. What I meant to ask was, how did she die?"

All vacant looks were gone from the dog demon's face, and replaced by lines of anger. "_She_ did it," he rasped. "She smashed the pearl."

"_She hates you," Shoujii sneered. "She'd rather die than be with you!"_ And he had only snarled in reply, because he could not argue the truth.

"Oh. Oh, I see," Housenki shuddered. This certainly was not a turn of events he had anticipated when making the pearl. Sure, he had sacrificed some strength in design by making it more visually attractive, but he had thought it to be an inconsequential issue. As much devotion as he had seen between the dog demon and the girl, it could be assumed that protection was not a concern. The last person in the world who would prove a threat to the pearl was the girl herself. That assumption had been shown as false now. And Housenki could not help but wonder what had made Rin do it. Asking directly would mean certain death, but his curiosity would not let him put the matter to rest. Gradually peeling back the layers until the truth was known was probably the best approach.

Housenki cleared his throat and knelt down to have a better look at Rin. From what he could tell, she had been beaten up quite soundly before she had died. A naïve grasp to her arm made the demon cringe in shock—nearly every bone was broken. It could be assumed as much though, seeing as the pearl would have such an effect if broken. But for her to break it herself while her body shattered in time with the gem seemed horrific. This poor thing had really, truly wanted to die.

Shaking his head, the jeweler did his best to hide the solitary tear escaping from his right eye. Come to think of it, Sesshoumaru didn't look all too good either. Obviously, there had been some kind of fighting going on.

"Was there a battle?" Housenki blurted. "Was she in a battle?"

_Shoujii howled with delight. "You've failed!" he cried gleefully. "You can't kill me and save her at the same time! What are you going to choose?"_ What could he do? All of his life had been spent perfecting the art of killing things. Death was in his very name. It followed him wherever he walked.

"Yes," hissed Sesshoumaru impatiently, suddenly tired of watching Rin being poked at.

"And she smashed it herself? All by herself, with no help?"

_Rin took the pearl into her hand and swung her arm forward, screaming in anguish. Her palm impacted against Sesshoumaru's breastplate with a loud thud, coupled with a high pitched squeal of scraping metal. He could hear the pieces as they rained down along the surface of his armor._

_No_, he thought, _she had help._

"_Yes_," Sesshoumaru gritted aloud instead. He was walking the thin line between being insulted and being enraged. Still, Sesshoumaru felt he was holding up rather gallantly. He was being far too forgiving than the situation called for. Housenki was asking a great many questions, but had yet to answer Sesshoumaru's one.

"Poor thing," the jeweler choked sadly. "I don't know if she can be saved, but--"

"—_BUT?_"

"Eheheh," Housenki laughed nervously while scooting away, "but there is still one thing you can try."

Sesshoumaru felt a great weight lift from his heart. There was still a chance. No matter how badly the odds were stacked against him, there was still a chance. This was the kind of thing he did best—what he had been raised to do. Adversity fueled his spirit. He was intelligent, yes, but more than anything else, he was a fighter. It was all a grand challenge to test his power, and he was never one to back down. She was already dead. There was little else he could lose beyond that. He had everything to win.

The demon lord calmly laid the girl down on the grass and stood. His marching orders were only moments away. A good soldier must always be on the ready.

Housenki had only seen Sesshoumaru's father, the Inu no Taishio of the Western Lands, once. It was the elder Housenki that conducted any business exchanges with the powerful demon lord. But, as an apprentice, the younger Housenki had been present when the black pearl to hold the great dog demon's tomb was commissioned. He was duly impressed by the image of this regal lord, and doubly so by the solid mass of his demonic aura. Now he was looking as one son to another. It was so clear now, the resemblance between the two. Physically, the way Sesshoumaru had dressed himself was meant to call to an observer's mind his honored father. But Housenki was awed by the look in Sesshoumaru's eyes, for it held a determined fire that yearned to engulf any so foolish as to make imperfect his dreams. Izayaoi had done this to the Inu no Taishio; was it Rin who was now doing it to Sesshoumaru?

"Her soul is in Hell," Housenki bravely explained. "You will have to travel there and bring it back, so it can rejoin with her body. I don't know how you're going to get to Hell--"

"I know a way," Sesshoumaru interjected. He had been there a decade ago, when Naraku entered Hell in search of the final Shikon no Tama fragment. Kagura had shown him the way, but now it was up to him to remember how to get there. It would be a long journey from here, traveling on his own.

"How much time does this Sesshoumaru have?"

Housenki frowned. "It's hard to say," he grunted, bending over once more to inspect the condition of Rin's body. Already, new wounds were manifesting themselves upon her skin, all from the life before her death. The pearl had protected her from a great deal of harm it seemed. One of her eyes was swollen shut, colored purple and green from a large bruise. "She's really beat up," the jeweler declared in assessment. "Her body is decaying faster every second her soul is gone. Perhaps the Tenseiga could help slow this, but again I can't say for certain."

_The Tenseiga…_

"_Take the Tenseiga if you wish. It is of no worth to me." _He had forgotten his sword, which had been the catalyst to all of these monstrous events.

From the beginning, the Tenseiga had been an integral companion in Rin's life, but now when she needed it most it wasn't there. Damn his emotions, and damn his impulsive nature. His only concern had been for the girl, and look what it had gotten him. By losing his head in trying to do what was best for Rin, he ended up making a mistake that might negate all of his efforts. Sesshoumaru felt trapped.

His frustrated growls were stifled in his throat however when his sensitive ears picked up on a familiar rhythm on the breeze. It was the tread of a four-legged creature flying across the wind. A leather saddle creaked as the spine it curved over expanded and contracted. Silk tassels from a bridle whipped against a scaly hide.

_Aun, _Sesshoumaru realized._ And no doubt Jakken with him._

The idea of facing the toad while standing over the dead body of Rin was not something Sesshoumaru felt up to at the moment. His retainer would be irrational at best upon viewing the scene. He didn't have time to explain or reason anything. Looking down on Rin, he could see the bruises on her face blossom from under the skin. For a moment, she almost looked like a child again; there was something familiar about the marks on her face.

And then he remembered her, young and alone in the woods, holding out food for him, smiling at him… and laying face down in the dirt.

_These are the wounds from when she was attacked by the wolves_, he realized. _These are the marks of her first death._ And they were not the worst injuries she had sustained either, at least not yet. Her belly had been torn open, he remembered. If things kept up like this…

Sesshoumaru turned sharply on his heel, facing away from Housenki. _Jakken can get the Tenseiga, and take her back to the palace. She will be safe with him._

"This Sesshoumaru is leaving," he barked coldly. "There will be attendants of mine arriving shortly. Instruct them to find the Tenseiga, and leave it close to the girl. Have them take her back to the palace and protect her there." He paused. It would be best to let Jakken know Rin was not being abandoned. Takako's scolding coupled with the toad's disappointment had given Sesshoumaru a serious blow to the ego. Basically, everyone he knew was trying to rub in his face how much he had been wrong.

"Tell them only that this Sesshoumaru will not return without her," he added quickly.

Sesshoumaru felt his mind cleave apart as the words tumbled from his mouth. What was he saying? Did he realize that making such a promise might mean he would actually have to hold true to it? But then his other half scolded himself for being so self-centered. He knew that if he came back without Rin, his life would go on being miserable, and he would be all alone in the world. But if he could not bring her back, or escape from Hell, or both, he would still be with her for all time.

But failure was not an option.

"A word of warning, my lord!" Housenki cried. "Before you go, you must understand something!"

Sesshoumaru turned his head sideways and glared at Housenki with one eye. The jeweler gulped nervously.

"You can't just drag her soul to the surface by force. It doesn't work like that. Her soul is still _her_, still her life. She has to be willing to go. It is by her decision alone that you will be able to bring her back." _And from the way she died,_ Housenki added mentally, _I'd say getting into Hell is probably the easiest part of your journey._

The dog demon nodded solemnly. It had occurred to him that there would be a great deal of difficulty in getting Rin's soul back to her body. This complication made matters damn near impossible to fix. For starters, he had no idea how he was going to reason with Rin as to why she should continue living with him. What did he have to offer her that was different from before? What was he going to have to say to make her see how he was desperate and confused, but determined to have her at his side all the same? Emotional battles were not easily fought, and very rarely did anyone win. It was all rather daunting. Still, this did nothing to change his resolve, or his promise. He was not coming back without her, no matter what.

"_If you never should have brought me back, then you at least owe me this," Rin had screamed. "So you can never make the same mistake again! So you can't ruin someone else's life by destroying her soul!"_

He owed her a life—a life that was hers to begin with. The life that he selfishly stole when he gave her breath once more.

Sesshoumaru took to the sky, without looking back. One more glance at Rin's steadily breaking body threatened to break him, too.

Housenki sighed sadly. Reaching his arms out, the jeweler timidly scooped the precious girl into his arms and cradled her there. This was the child who had been so loving to him all those years ago, and she had only just met him. This creature was one of the most beautiful he had ever encountered, and so full of life. Even in death, a small smile still curled on her lips. But her face was far from being peaceful. No doubt the last moments of her life were filled with excruciating pain.

"What did this to you, little one?" Housenki whispered, smoothing the broken girl's hair. "What made you want to die so much?"

888

The cave was just as Sesshoumaru remembered. Nearly ten years ago, it had been Kagura leading him to this location. She had been motivated by her hope that Sesshoumaru would be able to breach the gate unscathed and kill Naraku on the other side. Not only had the dog demon entered into Hell without any harm, but the door had practically been held open for him when he unsheathed the Tenseiga. Now, the Blade of Heaven was not with him; Rin needed it to survive. He would have to fight his way in this time, or die trying. Either way, he was going to enter Hell.

The gate was in sight. As he drew closer, the lock over the door seemed even more imposing than it had previously. Perhaps it was because he knew he would have to fight to have it opened, because now he was without a proper key.

"Do you want to enter?" a deep voice boomed.

Sesshoumaru stopped and looked up at the statues guarding the door. They towered nearly to the ceiling of the cave, looking down on the earth as only giants can. In the blue light, their features were made more eerie. Each one wore a blue stone pendant on his shoulder, and was armed with a halberd. They wore warriors' tunics that left their chests bare, and their hairstyles were the traditional short ponytail pinned to the crown of their heads. Warriors made of stone were warriors all the same. This was going to be the true test of Sesshoumaru's strength, for these stone guardians were no mere statues.

"Do you want to enter?" the voice boomed again. Sesshoumaru could now discern the words as being spoken by the guard on the left. Their mouths did not move, but their eyes slowly scraped open. Their hollow gaze fell upon Sesshoumaru, even while their words filled the cave with echoes. Apparently, being made of stone limited their range of movement, but did not keep them from having a voice.

"This Sesshoumaru demands entrance," he roared with authority.

The statue on the right stirred slightly, sending dust and rubble tumbling to the floor. "Only the dead may enter," the sentinel declared. "Or those killed by a guardian."

"Do you want to enter?" the left statue demanded once more, shifting in place.

The dog demon steeled himself with a sharp intake of breath before drawing Tokijin from his sash. "This Sesshoumaru will enter, even if it means destroying you." But again, Tenseiga's absence left him feeling nearly naked. How often had he cursed his father's blade that would not kill? As terrifically powerful as the Tokijin was, he knew it would not be able to move a grain of sand from within the statues' bodies.

The statue on the right slowly raised a leg, sending debris scattering in all directions. With a loud thud, the figure stepped forward, then followed suit with a second foot. "Your blade cannot harm us," the guardian coolly answered. "We cannot be defeated by anything of this world."

The second statue also took a step forward, but bent slightly at the waist to presumably get a closer look at the intruder in his midst. When confronted ten years ago, they needed little reason to initiate an offensive attack. Both were steadily approaching and brandishing their weapons, but they seemed slightly curious about their intended target. Sesshoumaru did not imagine them to be sentient beings capable of thought and reason, but then he also would not underestimate their abilities to see deeply into what possibilities lay at their feet.

"You are the bearer of the Sword of Heaven," the sentinel on the right announced. "Yet you are without the blade forged in the world beyond."

A silly wave of relief cooled the dog demon's troubled mind. "This Sesshoumaru seeks entrance all the same," he demanded. "If you truly remember who I am, then you will let me pass." He stared boldly at the unblinking eyes before him, tightening his grip on his sword.

The left statue also bent forward, grinding stone against stone as it moved. "We can permit you to enter without being one of the dead, you who bears of the Sword of Heaven," he answered.

"But we cannot permit you to leave," added the second. "You will be granted safe passage in, but will not be allowed to grant you the same upon your return."

This was some measure of satisfaction to Sesshoumaru. He knew that if the doors were opened and the sentinels had not given him safe passage, he would have to fight against being turned to stone. Entering Hell had its price, and it was not kind to the living. The stone demons on the floor of the cave had learned this lesson already, and left a warning behind to those who would chose to be ignorant to it. But even past the first obstacle, Hell was still Hell. There would be a plethora of dangers yet waiting past the threshold.

"Do you still wish to enter?" the statue on the left asked.

Sesshoumaru flinched. There would be no going back after this. For all he knew, he would be trapped in Hell for a very long time. He might never find Rin. The more time he spent away, the greater chance his lands would steadily fall into chaos. But he still had to try, for her. She meant that much.

_No_. She meant everything.

"Yes," the demon rasped hoarsely. "This Sesshoumaru is ready."

The statues straightened their postures in unison, then shouldered their weapons. Without any physical or spoken bidding, the giant lock over the iron doors fell open and hit the floor of the cave. A sliver of light appeared at the center seam of the entrance, and Sesshoumaru sheathed his sword once more. Slowly, the gate began to swing open.

He was met with a blinding white light and a rush of cold wind, which quickly changed to hot after a few seconds. He did not remember the portal feeling so unpleasant before, but then before he had Tenseiga to protect him. This journey promised to be wrought with hazards, and he would have to make it through unscathed by his own means. Yet one more thing he took for granted in Tenseiga. There was so much he took for granted in life, and it had cost him dearly.

Closing his eyes and gritting his teeth, Sesshoumaru took the first tentative steps into the gaping maw of Hell. He did not open his eyes until he heard the door clamor shut behind him.

888888888

In all the times that Sesshoumaru had visited Hell, he could not once remember it being anything more than a gray fog. But this misconception was probably due to the fact that he had never actually set foot in Hell; that is, he had never made it past his father's remains. He soon found out that what he had thought to be Hell was actually far from it. Beyond the towering sepulcher, and even much father into the horizon, was the actual entrance to Hell. The border between the mortal realm and Hell was where he had been in his previous journeys. Sesshoumaru soon found out that there was an unmistakable difference between the border and Hell itself.

888

The fall had nearly knocked him senseless. The darkness hit him like a stone wall, and immediately he wavered in flight. There had been no sign or warning, only a sudden engulfment in the pitch black. Struggling to stay in the air became a full-on battle after only mere moments inside of his bleak destination. There was absolutely no scent in the area, whatsoever. There was neither hot nor cold. The absence of sound ached within the canals of his sensitive ears. All of his senses were clamoring for some kind of affirmation, and he was left with less than nothing. Every effort he put into correcting his perception was sucked further into the void surrounding him. It happened quickly, and he didn't even know he was falling until he hit the ground.

His eyesight was steadily improving, but he was still without any means of orientation in this abyss. Sesshoumaru tried desperately to quiet his instincts, but everything about what he was experiencing made the dog within him lash out defensively. He needed _something_ to cling to, or smell, or hear, otherwise he might lose grip of his mind. How was he ever going to find anything in this place, let alone a human girl? How was he going to get out? What sort of disaster had he gotten himself into?

Everything was just _wrong_. Deep within his soul, Sesshoumaru knew that he was _not_ supposed to be in this realm of the dead. He was still alive and trespassing on ground where the living were never meant to tread. A very small, very primal corner of his heart was cringing in fear of this inescapable reality. It jolted down his spine and shook his very core.

He was afraid. He was afraid he would never find Rin. He was afraid that if he did find Rin, she would reject him. He was afraid that if he did find Rin and she did not reject him, they would never make it back to the realm of the living. But most of all, he was afraid that he would fail at all of his objectives simply because he was unable to move from the spot where he had fallen.

Sesshoumaru tried to stand. Each attempt brought him crashing back to his knees, and trying desperately not to fall on his face. It was humiliating and terrifying him more and more with each passing second. His vision had cleared enough to reveal basic features of his surroundings. There were jagged rocks all around, and a layer of smoke swirling gently above the ground. It was nearly impossible to get any indication of how large the area was; he had absolutely no clue as to whether he was in an open or enclosed space. The ground did not even feel like ground. It was almost as if the harder Sesshoumaru struggled against being pulled to his knees, the harder the floor would pull him downwards. Digging his claws in was useless. It was as if the ground only decided to be under him periodically. There were times where it felt like he was propped upon nothing but air, yet he did not fall through. This place was not letting him have any one part of a solid reality.

This was a battle he was never supposed to fight. This place was never made for any living creature to survive. Every odd was stacked against him, and piling atop his shoulders with increasing speed.

_This is what she went through when she died_, Sesshoumaru realized. _This is why she was so afraid of dying. This is what she chose over being with me._

Rin's life made more sense now. Each day was a laugh at Death's expense. She killed people, and could never die herself. She had already made that journey twice; the world owed her a chance to get even. But as to why she persisted in staying with Sesshoumaru, he was not sure. In all actuality, Rin could have left the shiro and never looked back, and she never would have had to see her guardian again. It would not be dignified for the lord of the Western Lands to chase down an errant human. And yet here he was, doing just that. This made Sesshoumaru wonder if he still would have chased her those five years ago, when the pearl had been minted. He couldn't know the answer.

Everything around him suddenly became unsteady. Sesshoumaru was unsure of himself; he'd _never_ been unsure of _anything_. Why was he in Hell at all, chasing someone who did not want to be found and that the world never wanted him to have in the first place? Why did he think he could produce something enticing enough to lure Rin back, when he knew he was incapable of giving her what she secretly had wanted? Yes he loved her, but it was a different kind of love; one that could not be defined. Rin wanted a specific love—a romantic love. That was impossible. It would never work; that much he was sure of. The universe would not be kind enough to let him have such a dream without a heavy cost. Blood would have to be shed over this. And the worst part of it all was that denying Rin of what she deeply desired would not stop her from loving him anyway. He was also sure of this. After all, she had persisted in it while he had been completely clueless for however many years it was.

Sesshoumaru came to a disturbing revelation. He was the biggest fool in the entirety of existence.

It was all more than he could bear. Sesshoumaru surrendered to gravity, and let his skull smash into the ground. As unconsciousness began to darken his eyes, he struggled against the disappearance of his one and only functioning sense. This only worsened the situation, because he began to choke on his own breath as he fought. But when hopelessness settled in, Sesshoumaru gave up the struggle and waited calmly for the crushing blackness to engulf him. His last thought was assuring himself he would eventually wake up again; this could not be his death. Still, if it was, it was a peaceful way to go.

888

He was awakened when a large amount of water was dumped on his head. Angrily, Sesshoumaru bolted upright and snarled a warning to whatever entity had dared to intrude upon his weakened moment.

The surroundings were more clearly defined in his vision. Instead of a pure black, the atmosphere was a dark gray haze. Time moved much differently in this transitory world; the demon had no idea how long he had been lying on the ground. His ears had stopped hurting, but he still could not discern any noise from anywhere. Sesshoumaru also realized that his left shoulder was throbbing quite painfully. Gingerly he reached his hand up to massage the ache, all the while looking around for the source of the water now dripping down his face.

In a world inhabited with displaced ghosts, Sesshoumaru wasn't too entirely comfortable being under some unknown being's scrutiny. Trying to ignore it wasn't working. He had tried to frighten it off, but to no avail. It wasn't moving at least; for now, it seemed content to watch him writhe in his own private hell. Sesshoumaru gritted his teeth, bitterly hoping he was at least putting on a good show.

Whatever was watching him didn't seem to care either way. It had not once left him. Sesshoumaru wanted to scream and rip his claws out wildly. This was getting to be quite annoying, and he was ready for it to stop.

Apparently the interloper felt the same way. Sesshoumaru clearly discerned the sound of retreating footsteps to his left. He lunged and caught his prey by surprise; the guilty party quickly fled before being properly detected. He could see it scurry behind an outcropping of rock.

Sesshoumaru looked about as best as he could through the fog. He gradually found the culprit's hiding place, but had yet to actually see who or what it was. Silently he leaned forward and crept closer, hoping to not scare it again. The being remained behind the rock, and was trembling rather noisily. Sesshoumaru craned his neck to get a better look; when his view was made clear, he was suddenly overcome with a bout of vertigo, and threatened to keel over from it. The dog demon gasped for breath, shaking ever so slightly from the shock.

He wanted to laugh. It just wasn't fair. He'd hoped to find her, but not like this. Not like this…

She was just as he had remembered; perhaps even more perfectly so. Had she once been this small? He'd forgotten. The frayed, pink kimono with the green belt, the gap in her teeth, and the bruises on her face were all present, as if he had never come into her life. Did she know him? Was there anything she remembered of him?

"Rin?" he choked, still too shocked to say much else. He was proud of himself for even managing that much.

The little girl startled out of her hiding place and took a few timid steps forward.

Rin did not answer when he called her name, but her eyes narrowed in confusion. Sesshoumaru floundered at this, groping desperately for any sign that she knew who he really was. His appearance was slightly different than usual he remembered, and he quickly yanked his hair free from its bindings. With the silver strands now hanging down from their owner's head, Rin's features relaxed. Sesshoumaru felt his mouth go dry, and struggled to work up a good swallow. The girl seemed to be sizing up the demon before her, and said demon could not help but wonder how much she was trying to recognize. Did she remember growing up in his care? Was she trying to work herself into an angered state again for the injustices she had been made to live through?

Was she in any way happy to see him?

A distant noise interrupted Sesshoumaru's reverie, and apparently frightened Rin. She took off running as fast as she could into the mist before he could stop her. Not a second later did he feel a number of creatures rush past his crouched body. _Wolves_, Sesshoumaru quickly realized. _These are wolves, and they are after Rin._

Without hesitating he jumped up and sprang forward. His fingertips thrummed with a surge of poison, ready to fire. It was difficult to see through all of the haze, but his eyes quickly trained themselves on a spot of pink in the distance. Sesshoumaru lunged towards Rin at the very moment the wolves made their move.

Rin screamed and fell to the ground.

Their bodies fell upon her, but only in pieces. Sesshoumaru had ripped them apart with his energy whip, and now the wolves were dead. Rin was safe. He had saved her from her first death.

Still shaking, the little girl raised her head to look around. She gasped softly upon seeing the dismembered carcasses of the wolves around her, but did not try to run. Instead she slowly straightened herself into a proper sitting position, and turned to face her savior with wide eyes. They stared at each other for a heavy moment, neither of them moving or even breathing.

And then she smiled. It was that same gap-toothed grin that had won him over when she had first found him in the forest. It was the same joyful chortle from her throat. He had made her happy. It was their beginning, all over again.

The fates had their revenge. He tried to be optimistic about the whole thing. Maybe starting over from scratch would be the best. That way he could see everything was done properly, perfectly. But he knew it would never work because no matter how old she was, Rin would always be Rin. More than likely, she would still wheedle her way into becoming a soldier for him because…

…because she wanted nothing more in the world than to please him. Nothing more in the world than to be close to him.

It was her first death he was looking upon. The universe always had a way of balancing itself. She should have, by all rights, remained dead at this age. It had never dawned on Sesshoumaru until now that in bringing Rin back, he had denied her the peace of eternal rest.

When Rin first drew her first breath for the second time, she followed Sesshoumaru without a sound. She continued to be silent throughout the first two months they were together. This suited the demon amicably; the idea of having a little girl in his company was difficult to digest as it was. Still, he just could not bring himself to abandon her by the wayside. Tenseiga was still very new to him, and its effects were now under scrutiny. And as much of a cold hearted killer as Sesshoumaru was, he never sullied his hands with the blood of women or children. He found that when she did begin speaking two months later, her voice was not entirely unpleasant. As time wore on, her talking was a comforting background noise as they wandered the Western Lands in search of Naraku. She would sing silly songs, or argue with Jakken, or tell him how wonderful she thought her guardian was.

_So good, and kind hearted, and brave_, she had told him proudly.

He had taken it all for granted. Looking at her now, he would give up any battle won, or victory laurel to the ages if he could just hear her speak.

Sesshoumaru shook his head. "Can you stand?" he asked, looking her over. Clearly, she wasn't hurt beyond the wounds she already wore. He had protected her from that at least.

"I'm here to bring you home," Sesshoumaru murmured. Looking at her with hope, he waited for any sign of recognition on the girl's part. Did she understand where "home" was?

The child suddenly jumped to her feet and took off running once again. Sesshoumaru felt his heart leap into his throat, and he quickly followed her. If he caught her, he knew he could not force her to understand, just as he could not force her to come with him. But to lose her so quickly and senselessly was more than he could tolerate.

A melodic laughter echoed through the fog. Rin was laughing? Quickening his pace to catch up to the child, he saw that she wasn't running _away_ from him exactly. She was just running, in that odd way she had about doing it. Her arms were spread out wide to her sides in the air, and she wove about in her steps while laughing. She was _playing_ with him.

The dog demon breathed a sigh of relief. Rin was not afraid of him. It looked as if she wanted him to go somewhere with her, and made a game of it. He would gladly follow this joyful child wherever she was taking him. It didn't take long for her to start singing one of her made-up songs; he listened greedily. When Rin started maturing into an adult, she quit singing altogether. As silly as something like that was, Sesshoumaru felt slightly robbed of a small indulgence. Granted, she still had yet to use any words; her songs were chirps, laughs, squeals, and chortles. But in this dismal environment, any sound was pleasant.

It was hard to tell if they were walking or gliding. No solid ground fell under their feet, while their steps landed and raised themselves at a smooth pace.

Sesshoumaru rolled his left shoulder around. It had been hurting him ever since he had arrived, but now the pain was something not easily ignored. Shoujii must have stabbed him deeper than he had thought. Very few things in his life actually hurt him; he could remember being pierced through the chest with a diamond spear as being rather unpleasant. Holy barriers tickled, but in an annoying sense. What he was experiencing now was an unrelenting ache. Its persistence made it different from all of the other times, and that was beginning to bother him.

The demon could not tell how one navigated in Hell at all. No one piece of the gray crags and shadowy rock formations stood out as unique. There was no smell, no sound, and a thick fog topping everything off. Their path wavered, and then doubled-back, apparently lost from whatever direction they had been heading to. Rin looked about every which way, searching for a landmark to put her back on course. Apparently she found something to her liking, because she cried out happily and began running along once more.

After a few more times of having to stop to check her course, and two trips backtracking her steps, they arrived at a little mountain of stone. At the top, the outline of a cave could be seen.

Sesshoumaru nodded to the girl, and then set his sights on scaling the mountain. It would have to be done on foot; he might have flown to the top holding Rin, but his shoulder was hurting him enough to deter any thought of carrying her. Besides, he did not know where they were going. It would be fine to walk. Rin had always been rather nimble in settings like this. When he had watched her grow up, Sesshoumaru was slightly saddened when her speedily growing limbs offset Rin's nearly impeccable balance. She grew back into it later though, probably becoming better than she had been before. Her tiny jumps carried her from far-reaching outcroppings, to jagged crags and crevices, and ever upwards at a dizzying pace.

When he arrived at the top, she was already there and waiting for him. For the first time, she grabbed his hand and began pulling him forward, leading him inside the cave. He cringed under her touch, but did not let her see it. Rin's hands were colder than anything he could have imagined—so cold they burned. And yet they were still small and soft, just like her hands had been when she was a child. These were the hands that clutched his pant legs while she hid behind him. These were the hands that had hugged his arm when his guard was down. Now these were the dead hands leading him deeper into Hell, and he quietly followed.

In the back of the cave, a small sound was echoing between the smooth, narrow passages. Sesshoumaru's eyes once again had to adjust to the darkness, and he embarrassingly found himself depending on Rin's guidance almost completely. The cave itself seemed to continue endlessly, and it almost seemed as if the echo had begun from miles away and had only reached this far after several years. But gradually he was able to clearly distinguish the sound as that of someone crying. More specifically, of a girl crying.

Rin tugged harder at Sesshoumaru's hand and began picking up her pace. They were getting closer to whoever was crying; apparently that was where Rin had intended them to end up. At long last he was able to see a dimly lit cavern in the distance. Near the center was a flat rock jutting out from the floor at a graduated angle. On top of that rock was a figure, gently trembling from the weight of her sobs. Rin released Sesshoumaru's hand and darted over to the figure. Eagerly, the child tugged at the other girl's clothes, which made her stop crying and sit up to dry her eyes.

It was the green kimono, he realized. She had nearly worn it down to threads when it still fit her, and even when it started not to. There had been countless days that she had worn it, but only one day in particular was surfacing in Sesshoumaru's memory as he looked at her now. The dog demon sucked a cold breath in between his fangs. He had wanted so much to forget about this one. After all, it was by his hand that she had died the second time.

Once again, Sesshoumaru was taken aback by how circumstances were playing out for him. Only when she emerged fully into the light did he recognize her beyond any doubt.

Rin was thirteen again, wearing the same simple hairstyle she preferred in those days, right down to the slightly wilted flower pinned to the top bun. Everything from that day was perfectly preserved in this second ghost of Rin, all the way down to her slit throat. Blood stained the front of her robe, but was brown with age. The wound itself was still open but no longer bled; instead it had turned black. A slick coat of bile moistened Sesshoumaru's tongue.

The younger Rin was taking the hand of her older self and leading her towards Sesshoumaru. When she was close enough, the older girl began crying once more, looking deeply into her master's eyes with such pure anguish.

"Why didn't you save me?" the teenage Rin murmured.

"What?" Sesshoumaru blurted, utterly dazed.

The girl swallowed, and it hurt to watch the flaps of skin contort with the strain from her neck muscles. "Why didn't you save me?" she repeated a little louder. "Why didn't you use Tenseiga to bring me back?"

The dog demon furrowed his brows in confusion. "But I did," he defensively countered. "I brought you back almost immediately." He paused and watched for the older girl's reaction. She seemed hesitant to accept his answer, which pierced his heart rather deeply.

"How could you ever think this Sesshoumaru would abandon you to die like that?" he loudly insisted.

Rin had now taken her younger self into her arms and was holding her protectively. Both girls turned in unison to face the demon lord. After a tense stare down, the older Rin finally looked down at her toes.

"It's just…we're still here," she explained sadly. "I know you brought me back from the wolves because _I_ exist. She doesn't, though," Rin said, indicating her younger self. "She knows that I am her, and can assume she was saved, but she has no memory past her death. The same goes for me. How can I know what you are saying is true?"

Sesshoumaru nodded solemnly. These were the ghosts of Rin's previous deaths. Her resurrections had come with no small cost, he was realizing. He had shown the first one her worth by killing the wolf wraiths that had pursued her. She had been given proof for her own eyes that Sesshoumaru would save her from such things. As a child, that was all she really needed to know to be happy. But the older Rin was different. She needed more than just demonstrations of his strength to justify her value to him.

"_It's okay," Rin cooed softly, placing her hand on his chest. "You do it, please. For me. For us." And before he could convince himself that what he was about to do was wrong, he slit her throat. _

"This Sesshoumaru brought you back as promised," he gently offered. "You did not die in vain; we were able to make the pearl successfully work for you."

The younger Rin began wriggling anxiously and tried to jump free from her older self's embrace. The older Rin gave a tired shrug and put the child down, and then watched her scamper off to play an imaginary game out of the way of her older self and her guardian.

It was a few minutes before the older Rin turned her face back to look at Sesshoumaru again. When she did, she curled her lips into a wry smile and wiped the stray tears from her face. Straightening her shoulders, she relaxed her features and nodded her head in the direction of the child.

"When I was that age," she began slowly, "I thought you could do no wrong."

She paused to let the weight of her words sink in before speaking again. "I never questioned why a demon lord would let an orphaned child follow in his company. The thought never crossed my mind at that age. All I knew was, I wanted to be with Sesshoumaru-sama, and for whatever reason he also wanted to be with me. The one truth of my life was you."

"Did your mind ever change about wanting to be with me?" Sesshoumaru asked bluntly.

Rin snorted and screwed her mouth sideways. "Are you kidding?" she barked. "Getting older only made matters worse. When I was smart enough to understand just how bizarre our relationship was I became more determined that I would remain by your side no matter what. I would fight anyone who tried to threaten that, because…," she trailed off abruptly. Rin turned and walked back to the rock she had been curled up on when Sesshoumaru found her. Sitting, she then gestured for her guardian to do the same. He took his place at her side gracefully, and heard a tiny whimper escape from the girl's lips.

"Because I wasn't sure if you would do the same," Rin finished sadly.

"Foolish," Sesshoumaru spat indignantly. "How could you think such a thing?" He found his eyes kept returning to the hole in her throat—the one he had made. _Here is the opening that her sorrows pour out from,_ he thought ruefully. _And I am the one responsible for putting them in there._

Rin narrowed her eyes. "Honestly," she scolded, "you of all people should know the answer to that. What would everyone think if the Lord of the Western Lands had to arrange for a nanny to come watch his pet human each time he left his house?"

"You were never a pet," Sesshoumaru gritted angrily. "And this Sesshoumaru has never cared about what anyone else thinks."

"But you care about your empire," Rin countered deftly. "I would have held you back had things stayed the way they were. That's why I picked up that sword. I figured if I was useful, then there would be less of a chance that I could be disposed of."

The girl held out her hand like she was going to touch the demon beside her, but then stopped and let it hover in between them. "I just wanted to be something special to you," she mourned. "When you killed me to make that pearl, I was so afraid you would never bring me back. It could have all ended there, and you could have walked away."

Timidly, she reached her hand forward once more and placed it on top of Sesshoumaru's own larger one. The demon was taken aback by the cold of her skin, but he felt comforted immensely that his Rin was touching him. Slowly he maneuvered his palm to face up and took the girl's much smaller hand into his own, closing his clawed fingers around it.

Rin smiled warmly and kept her eyes focused on their hands. A pale pink blush rose to her cheeks. "But you didn't walk away," she continued. "You say that you brought me back, and I lived with you. But why?" She was shaking her head and still looking between them.

"Why?" Sesshoumaru repeated. _Why indeed_. It was much to complicated to explain. He wasn't even sure he could explain it at all even if he understood it for himself. The right words were not coming. No, the words that were coming to mind were far too disturbing to voice aloud. Once spoken, they could not be taken back or denied.

Sesshoumaru had only one answer to give. Just three words and nothing more. If she questioned them, he could offer no explanation in return. It was regrettable that he could not give her more, but something inside of him said that, for her, it would be enough.

"I need you," Sesshoumaru voiced hoarsely. Every ounce of pride he held onto was slipping brokenly through his fingers. He hoped Rin would understand the implications behind his statement; namely, that he was breeching ground into a strength that was once considered a weakness. It was new, and it was all he had of it that very moment.

The girl sitting beside the demon continued to quietly stare at their hands entwined together. Her shoulders heaved up and down with a heavy sigh. The air from her throat made a purring noise as it slipped through the opening, and Sesshoumaru winced.

Finally, Rin lifted her head and locked her brown eyes onto the golden ones across from her. She squeezed his hand, and then let it go.

"Just checking," she sang. As if she'd known the answer all along.

The younger Rin bounded back over to where her companions were sitting, apparently sensing that the tension between them had been eased. She plopped down at Sesshoumaru's feet and began to work at undoing his boots. The demon smiled, and patted her gently on the head. He had missed them—both of them—so much.

"So tell me," the older Rin chirped, "what happened after the pearl was made?"

_Ah._ Sesshoumaru had wondered if this question was going to surface or not. Despite his suspicions, he was not prepared to answer it without any degree of difficulty.

"We returned home to the Western Lands," he began slowly, but then stopped just as soon as he had started. Perhaps that would be sufficient?

"And?" Rin prompted eagerly. "What happened? Did Takako-san ever get the Shikon no Tama scroll she was searching for? And what about Kado? Did Katsuro-kun ever turn him into that 'mighty war horse' he insisted was inside that stubborn pony?" She smiled brilliantly and tried to stifle her giggles. Rin was so cheerful now, thinking about her future. But all Sesshoumaru could see was a smiling dead girl in the place of a once happy living one.

_Her face was one of exhausted happiness, and she closed her eyes as she gave a pitiful laugh. Before his eyes her skin was turning an ashen grey, and a waxy sheen covered the surface. Rolling her eyes back, Rin fell limply to the ground, dead._

"Yes," the demon stammered, "yes, they're all fine. They all turned out fine." _Katsuro died after he betrayed you and Takako struck me when she found out you were gone. I suppose that is fine enough._

Rin stilled herself and smoothed out her composure. "And what of me, Sesshoumaru-sama?" she asked coolly. "Am I fine?"

Sesshoumaru felt trapped. What was he supposed to say? He couldn't very well lie to the girl, but telling the truth was just as damaging. Furiously he tried to wet his sandy mouth; the girl flicked her eyes along with the bobbing of his throat. She seemed either blissfully naïve to his suffering, or else perfectly aware.

"You are--" he paused to clear his throat, "—angry with this Sesshoumaru right now."

Gently, the girl reached her hands up to rest them upon the demon's shoulders. A dull ache seemed to thread through his veins, radiating from somewhere in his chest. Rin was looking at him with knowing eyes and a pitying smile. It was too much. Sesshoumaru sought refuge in the face of the child at his feet, but she too was wearing a similar mask of sympathy. They both knew _something_ he didn't.

"Is it because I'm dead?" she whispered. "Tell me, why are you here? Do you think she will forgive you?"

"No," Sesshoumaru choked. So this was how it was. Here sat the Rin of her first death, and the Rin of her second death.

That meant there was still one more.

"No," he repeated. "This Sesshoumaru cannot say."

Both of the girls stood up and shuffled around to face him. Tenderly, the youngest Rin reached for Sesshoumaru's hand with both of hers, and wrapped her fists around his index and middle fingers. The older Rin placed a hand back onto his left shoulder and massaged it lightly. The demon hissed in pain; he wanted to pull away but at the same time he did not want to admit it hurt him as much as it did.

"She's not here," the older Rin said, anticipating his troublesome thoughts. "Truthfully, I don't know where she is right now. When she heard you had come, she left."

Sesshoumaru sagged in premature defeat. _She doesn't want me to find her,_ he mournfully realized.

The teenager flexed her fingers once again which brought Sesshoumaru's head jerking back up to meet her stern gaze. She smiled patiently and let her hand slide down the side of his shoulder a bit, releasing the pressure she had put there.

"We will help you as best as we can," she declared solemnly, nodding to her younger self. Her hand slipped lower down his sleeve, and Sesshoumaru shivered with the jolt of cold energy that surged down his arm.

_Wait._

Rin continued down the sleeve pressing firmly on the arm within. At the end of the sleeve, she lifted up the hem slowly and took his hand into her own.

_His left hand._

Sesshoumaru coughed in disbelief. Had this been what was hurting him so much? Why suddenly here and now was his arm growing back? And why had it grown back at all?

He tried moving his new fingers. The thought moved arduously down the limb to his digits, and was only half heartedly executed. But he could see his knuckles twitch, and felt the resistance of Rin's hand against them.

"This part of you had died, and so it was here waiting for you," Rin explained calmly. "When you came you were reconnected to it, and that is why you are whole now. I'm sure it will take some time to get used to, but you'll be as good as new in no time."

The dog demon could only stare completely dumbfounded at his arm. He was _whole_. After all of these years, he was physically whole. Now if only he could now find the missing piece of his heart hiding in the darkness of Hell.

Rin tried to clear her throat, making a strangled gurgling noise that drew Sesshoumaru's attention away from his new appendage and back to the broken girl. She was holding back tears.

"You have to make us whole, too," she whimpered. "Please, you can't leave us here. We have to be together again."

The demon nodded gravely. "I will not see you get left behind. When we find her, and if she will come back with this Sesshoumaru, then she will not be without you both."

"Good," Rin murmured, wiping her face with one sleeve. She turned his hand over and back a few times before nodding her approval and letting go. Little Rin jumped up and down impatiently and voiced her displeasure with a few squeaks.

"Alright," the older Rin assured with a laugh. She nodded to her younger self and then to Sesshoumaru. "Let's go," she commanded, and they were off.

888888888

In all of her centuries of life, Takako had never been so enraged and so bereft with grief all at the same time. She didn't know if she wanted to fly to pieces herself or shred someone else to pieces.

Not that she had anyone in particular in mind.

"He killed her," the demoness spat venomously. "There is _nothing_ you can say that will convince me otherwise."

"How can you say such treacherous things about our lord and master!" Jakken cried fearfully. "If he heard you say that--" The faithful retainer finished his statement with a shiver that started at his bald, green head and ended at his clawed toes.

Takako sneered, bending down to face level with her opponent. "First of all, he may be my lord but he is not, nor has he ever been, my _master_." She snorted indignantly at the very implications of the word. "And secondly, I am of the same blood as his mother. If I had it my way, I'd turn him over my knee and beat him like the petulant child he is!"

Jakken nearly fainted dead away, and had to support himself by grabbing onto the sheets of the bed before he fell. "At least don't say such disrespectful things in front of Rin," he begged pitifully.

A choked sob came from the dog demoness' throat. Straightening her posture, she looked down on the girl in the bed next to where she was standing. With each eye blink another piece of Rin seemed to melt away; entropy was never a pleasant process to watch. It was there the whole irony of it all existed. She had watched the girl grow older with time, and now Rin was dying away even though she could not grow older any more.

"Jakken, I just feel so helpless," Takako sobbed. "The only thing we can do is just sit and watch her decay."

"But the Tenseiga has helped slow that down considerably," Jakken insisted. _And with little time to spare_, he realized.

888

Poor Jakken had arrived at Housenki's abode with absolutely no idea of what he would find. All he knew was that the battle had been won, Tenseiga was left on the field, and both Sesshoumaru and Rin were missing. Aun easily picked up its master's trail; Jakken grabbed the sword and tried to push the ominous implications of this setting out of his thoughts.

The demon jeweler was holding Rin's corpse like a broken doll.

"Where is Sesshoumaru-sama!" Jakken shrieked, hopping down from Aun's saddle. "And what has happened to Rin!"

Housenki shook his large head sadly. "She is dead; she smashed the pearl herself," he explained in a low voice. "As for Sesshoumaru-sama, he has journeyed to Hell in hopes of bringing the girl back." The demon petted the girl's hair tenderly. "Poor little thing," he whispered.

"Get your paws off of her this instant!" the imp squawked. "This Jakken will not stand by and watch you man-handle her so familiarly!"

The jeweler trembled slightly as he stood and carried Rin over to the two-headed dragon. Gently he placed her face-down across the saddle and did his best to see that her head, neck, and torso were all properly supported. He turned to the small, green demon at his feet that was glaring at him in return.

Jakken didn't quite know what to do next. Obviously Housenki was saying Rin needed to go somewhere, but where? From what he could tell, she was in very bad shape. He couldn't remember seeing that many bruises on her since the day he found her belly down in the dirt. And for Sesshoumaru-sama to abandon her side at a time like this was disheartening. On the battlefield, Jakken could feel the ghost of a powerful demonic aura; undoubtedly it was that of his master. Something truly terrible must have happened for things to turn out like this.

"Wait," Jakken startled, "you said that Rin did this to herself?"

Housenki nodded in reply. "I was not told why she would do such a thing, or what led up to it. All I know is that it was her intent for the pearl to break."

A dizzying rush engulfed Jakken's brain and sent him spinning out of control. His lord had failed in the rescuing of Rin. She had died despite his vow that she would never die again. Was she worth so little? Did he truly intend to save her at all?

"You must give her the Tenseiga to hold," Housenki rumbled, snapping Jakken back to the present.

"What?" the toad bumbled.

Housenki cleared his throat and started again. "You must give her the Tenseiga to hold. Each moment her body is without her soul is physically killing her." The jeweler nodded towards the sword and took it as it was offered to him. Gently, he tucked it in the crook of Rin's right arm.

"Hey, wait! Rin is already dead!" Jakken shouted indignantly. "How is this going to help at all? This Jakken can't wield that sword; only my master can."

"It wouldn't do any good anyway," Housenki sighed, shaking his head. "Her soul wasn't in her body at the time of death, so both body and soul died separately. Technically, she's _almost_ dead, if anything."

"And Sesshoumaru-sama is going to bring her back?" the retainer eagerly asked.

"Well, hopefully."

"What do you mean, _hopefully_? For Sesshoumaru-sama such as task is hardly anywhere near impossible!" Jakken cried. "He will turn through every crevice of the underworld to find Rin and bring her home!"

"Hell is a dangerous place," the jeweler argued. _And I just don't have the heart to tell you that none of this is within your lord's power to fix. Only Rin can decide if she lives or ultimately dies._

Jakken snorted. "You stupid fool," he scoffed. "Sesshoumaru-sama will succeed. If he can defeat Naraku without breaking a sweat, then he can certainly bring a mortal soul out of Hell."

Housenki nodded just so he wouldn't be tempted to debate this matter further. "In any case, your orders are to bring her home and guard her until Sesshoumaru-sama's return. Make _sure_ the Tenseiga stays with her no matter what."

The toad leapt onto Aun's back. "You just wait," he bragged stoutly, "my lord will have Rin back to her old self in practically no time at all! Then you'll feel foolish for ever doubting him." Dramatically, he turned up his nose before snapping the reins.

"Slowly!" he ordered the dragon. "And stay low to the ground!"

Ah and Un grunted their acknowledgements, and carefully rose into the air. Rin was being safely carried home. Her body would have the comfort and protection of those she knew and undoubtedly cared for. It seemed that Rin cared for everyone; she was just that loving. Even Housenki felt as though Rin was genuinely fond of him, and he had done nothing to earn it. How could Sesshoumaru take such a beautiful thing for granted? Or was he a complete idiot and did not notice it at all?

Housenki sighed and rubbed his temples. All of this was giving him quite a headache. This was enough stress for one day.

"I need a _long_ nap," he decided, climbing back into his shell. Hopefully, everything would work out. And if it didn't, then he hoped he would get enough warning so he could move very far away. Somehow, something told Housenki that Sesshoumaru would not be the most rational of people if Rin died.

And most likely, Housenki would be the first to feel the dog demon's wrath.

888

Jakken arrived back at the shiro as inconspicuously as possible, but he could not escape Takako's detection. The dog demoness had almost taken the head off of a nearby guard before collapsing to the floor with wracking sobs. The whole castle was put on high alert, knowing full well that word would soon be reaching the neighboring lands about Sesshoumaru's deceit. They would be able to fend off any attack, but without their lord's guidance the army would remain in the defensive. This was not where their true strength in tactics was, and after enough time they would eventually break.

But Jakken and Takako did not concern themselves with such things. Rin's well-being was their top priority, and not even a full-scale war could tear them from her side.

Carefully, the faithful retainer took Rin's hand into his much smaller one and stroked it lovingly. He understood more than most what a tragedy this was. After all, he had been with her from the very beginning. He had helped to dress her, see that she was bathed and fed, been given the arduous task of entertaining her, and protected her during times Sesshoumaru was away. For all intensive purposes the toad had raised the girl alongside Sesshoumaru and later Takako.

Turning so that no one could see, Jakken carefully wiped his tears on Rin's hand.

"_Jakken-sama! Jakken-sama! Why are you so green?"_

_Rin-chan, Rin-chan, because I'm sick with worry._

888888888

He was not sure exactly how long they spent looking for Rin. Time was merely a concept in this realm. Whatever the case, it gave him the opportunity to rehabilitate his newly formed arm. They rested as needed; Hell is vast and even the most powerful entities cannot cross its regions in a day.

Sesshoumaru cherished these quiet moments with the younger and teenaged Rins. Everything was as he had remembered it, and yet horrifyingly different at the same time. As sweet and as charming as these girls were, their broken bodies served as a haunting reminder to Sesshoumaru of every instance that he had failed Rin. There was no pleasure to be drawn from these bitter memories, but the girls' smiles at least helped to soften any heartache he felt.

They stopped dead in their tracks when they found the eldest Rin's trail. It seemed she had come out of hiding and was allowing herself to be found. Sesshoumaru knew better than to think of this as a positive omen; after all, Rin must have had her own reasons for keeping her location secret as long as she did. Her two younger selves led Sesshoumaru as close as they dared, but refused to be at his side when coming into her presence.

"Keep in mind that she is very angry with you," the second oldest warned. "But she doesn't hate you. There's still hope in that."

The youngest one hugged Sesshoumaru fiercely, and then kissed his cheek. It was a token of encouragement, but went so much deeper than that. The dog demon startled at this tender show of affection. She had never kissed him at any age when she was alive. Now he suspected that she had often wanted to. Children tended to have lower inhibitions about such things, but it seemed Rin needed to be dead too before she had enough nerve for a kiss. Despite her lips being frigid with death, Rin's kiss warmed Sesshoumaru's soul better than any accolade or praise ever had or could. Such things seemed so petty now. The demon wondered briefly why he had placed so much value on such fleeting matters. If Rin would come home with him, Sesshoumaru promised himself to find a way to earn another heartfelt kiss.

"Go to her," the teenaged Rin urged. "Just remember to be honest, both to her and yourself."

The dog demon nodded. Taking in a deep breath, he quietly stepped into the fog and waited for a sign of his Rin to emerge. It did not take long before he could see her.

Sesshoumaru knew her instantly; that profile was familiar to him as his own shadow. The dispersing fog revealed her in the same state as her younger selves—her dying moments crystallized into her soul's final form. The clothes Shoujii had dressed her in—ragged, gray linen tunic and pants—made her look every part the ghost she was. It was yet one more thing that Sesshoumaru hated himself for; she died in someone else's clothes. She had been cast out of her home, captured, tortured, raped, humiliated, starved, and then paraded in front of her master as the final insult. It wasn't any wonder she wanted to die.

Rin shivered, then cocked her head to the side with alertness. Turning very slowly, she met eyes with Sesshoumaru. He felt his eyebrow twitch slightly.

"You," she greeted coldly. Rin narrowed her eyes and pinned the demon with a cruel glare.

"Rin," Sesshoumaru rasped.

It wouldn't be like him to fall on his knees and start begging for forgiveness; she knew that, and she would be suspicious if he did. But that didn't mean he hadn't thought of it. If his sincerity could be trusted, then he would be face down on the ground and pleading for Rin to return home.

Suddenly, an icy wind swirled about the girl and her appearance drastically altered itself. Her clothes became black and unfolded out into an elegant kimono. Thick waves of her chestnut hair fanned wildly about her head in a demonic halo. Rin stood and stalked smoothly over to Sesshoumaru.

"How _dare_ you," she hissed through her teeth. "Are you here to satisfy your arrogance further? I am dead because of you, but you selfishly had to come see it to believe it."

Rin's body began to float upwards, and her robes lengthened along with her increasing height. She was towering above Sesshoumaru, looming over him with malice radiating from her being like a dark cloud. Her hands clenched in fists at her sides, and every joint seemed to lock into place. Rin ground her teeth as she glared at the demon beneath her. Why had he come? Didn't he know how much he had hurt her? Or how much he was hurting her now?

Sesshoumaru could only look on in disbelief. Is this what had truly become of Rin's heart? He had been blind to her love when she was alive, but now that he knew it had always been there, he was suddenly finding a void instead. Was there no hope for him now?

"Rin," he pleaded, "this Sesshoumaru--"

"NO!" Rin thundered, jerking herself nearer to the demon. "You washed your hands of me already. Remember? I am _nothing_ to you!"

The dog demon scowled. "Surely you cannot believe that you are nothing to this Sesshoumaru now," he reasoned. "In coming to Hell to search for you, your worth to this Sesshoumaru must be obvious."

"You don't get it!" the girl screamed. Her clothes bled a crimson stain until her robe had changed to a brilliant red. The wild tendrils of her hair whipped themselves into a simple up-do appropriate for a lady of standing. Rin alighted to the ground a hair's breadth away from Sesshoumaru and stubbornly locked her jaw.

"Nothing about you is _obvious_," she said scornfully. "Except for your being a pompous, emotionless monster!"

"Do not be so quick to judge," Sesshoumaru answered, barely restraining his inclination to fight back. He would never tolerate this kind of talk from anyone, and if they tried he would kill them for it. But Rin was already dead, and shouting back was not going to further his chances of being in her good graces again.

"You should leave," Rin said quietly. Her eyes were set on his face, but her gaze burned right through him and far into the blackness on the horizon.

Sesshoumaru shook his head. "I will not leave without you," he stoically replied.

"Then you will never leave!" the girl laughed mockingly.

"If that is how it must be, then so be it."

For a moment, Rin was caught completely off guard. Her eyes lost the angry spark that ignited them from within. The elegant robe suddenly reverted back to the tattered pants and shirt she was wearing when she had died, and her hair fell in a matted mess.

"You think that will change things?" she sobbed. "You think that your staying will make up for the fact that I am still dead? You don't belong here. Please Sesshoumaru, just leave me in peace. Do not play god to me any more."

Rin turned to walk away, but was met with resistance from two strong hands. She gasped slightly and reached up to confirm if what she felt was true.

"Rin," the demon hoarsely pleaded, "you don't have to stay. This Sesshoumaru can bring you back—all of you. There will be nothing of your soul left behind in this place."

The girl sighed softly. "I always wondered what this would feel like," she murmured, "to have both of your hands upon me." Gently, she lifted up his left hand and held it as she turned around to face him again. "You have your missing piece," she begged, and squeezed his hand. "You can return home as a whole man."

"That is not why I am here," Sesshoumaru bluntly countered. Had Rin always thought him to be this selfish?

"I know," she answered. "You came to bring me back. But I don't _want_ to go back."

He watched her clothes change once more; now she was wearing a short, dark green robe made of thick wool. Her hair was tied low on her neck, and hung heavily down her back. She looked like a peasant—was this the life she could have lived if Sesshoumaru had not permitted her to follow him?

"I have nothing to come back to," Rin stoutly declared. "I have no place in the world."

"Takako does not find you so meaningless," Sesshoumaru argued. "She struck this Sesshoumaru when she discovered the circumstances of your departure."

"Did she really?" Rin chuckled. "Pardon my saying then, but you deserved it."

The dog demon nodded even though the girl was no longer facing him. To admit he was wrong aloud was a step he was not ready to take. Perhaps Rin detected his silent answer in her own way.

"Jakken, too," he continued. "He wanted to ride into battle with this Sesshoumaru to claim you back."

"And where did he end up being?"

"Preparing your room for your return, so that you could be properly welcomed home."

"I see."

Somehow, Sesshoumaru was getting the feeling that his best intentions were falling atrociously short of their mark. He took a step forward and once again placed his hands on Rin's shoulders.

"And you?" she bit out. "It seems my place is clearly defined by Takako and Jakken. But what are your thoughts on the matter?"

This time, he did not hesitate. "I need you," he murmured, drawing nearer.

Rin laughed darkly. "You _need_ me?" she mocked, whipping around. "And how does my lord _need_ me to be?" Her clothes mended themselves and plates of armor rose from her skin. She was standing in front of him in a fighter's stance, looking for all the world like a samurai warrior.

"Like this?" she growled. "Is this my place in my lord's life? Or--"

The armor melted away leaving a rainbow of embroidered flowers in their place. Rin was now wearing a kimono of the highest design, but without the layered robes on top to accompany it as a noblewoman would have. Her hair was down and parted to the side with a few strands adorned with blue and red ribbons braided in The collar was loose and pulled open indecently. The obi belted around her waist tied in the front instead of the back as was customary.

_A prostitute,_ Sesshoumaru realized.

"How about this?" Rin said in a sultry tone. She wrapped her arms around the demon's neck and pulled herself against him. "Did you want this, my lord, and were too afraid to ask?"

"Never," he snarled, untangling her arms and pushing them to her sides.

"Never?" Rin teased. "Is it so repulsive for you to touch a woman? Or is it because I am human?"

"I cannot allow myself such things!" the demon bellowed. _Especially not a thing such as you—no matter how much I may want it._

"You're right. You're absolutely right," the girl scoffed, tearing herself away from Sesshoumaru. "It would make you weak—just like it did to me."

What was she talking about? Rin, weak? That just wasn't any part of whom she was.

"You were never weak. This Sesshoumaru will not listen to you say such lies," he scolded.

Shamefully, the demon found it very hard to stop staring at the woman who stood before him. It occurred to his mind's eye that this must have been the face she wore for many of her victims before ruthlessly killing them. Why would his gentle, kind Rin do such a thing? She had no real reason to kill any of these people, other than it was what he had wanted her to do. He was responsible for this. In a convoluted way, he had made a whore of the girl he promised always to protect.

It was hard to breathe. Sesshoumaru clutched his throat in panic. He had treated her so horribly! And she _let_ him—because she loved him. He had taken advantage of everything she had given him with love, and repaid her with almost nothing in the grand scheme of things. Rin was perfectly capable of finding a house and food on her own. She could make her own clothes if needed. He had given her nothing that she couldn't get for herself.

She had always been strong; she could rely on herself. But then, wasn't he strong as well despite his reliance on her? Or was it because of it?

"Leave," Rin snapped, pulling Sesshoumaru's head out of the despair he was drowning in. "Nothing will change by my coming back. Just go."

Once again she was in the black kimono, and slowly rising off the ground. She was leaving him. This was her final decision; he could do nothing to change it.

Nothing to change it, except by changing himself.

"But I didn't know you loved me then!" Sesshoumaru bellowed angrily.

Whatever spell locked in those words newly spoken dispersed the dark cloud Rin was steadily rising upon. She floated delicately down to the ground, and her clothes faded to gray, and then a brilliant white. Her body curled beneath her upon landing, and everything about her seemed to smooth itself into place. When she turned to face him once more, her hair was parted straight in the middle, and cascading over her back and shoulders in a fluid line. Her face and neck were painted white, and the only color she wore was the splash of red paint on her lower lip.

Sesshoumaru sighed inwardly. How could he have been so stoic in the face of such a beauty for all of these years?

"You know then," Rin whispered softly. "You know that I loved you."

The dog demon nodded solemnly, and took a step towards the girl.

"How does it feel," she continued, "to know you are too late?"

Sesshoumaru took another step forward.

"Did you curse my human heart for being so foolish?"

And another step.

"Or did you laugh, and think me childish to fall in love with a stone hearted man?"

He knelt beside her and looked to her with sorrow in his eyes. He had wounded her very soul when she was alive. What could he begin to do in reparation? Did she think him to be so cruel as to not take her feelings seriously?

"This Sesshoumaru is not devoid of emotion," he defended.

Rin narrowed her eyes and frowned. "Do you love me?" she snapped.

It felt like he was spinning, or falling, or maybe both. Sesshoumaru's head felt light, while his gut was turning flip-flops. How was he supposed to answer such a question when put on the spot? What did she expect him to say?

Did he even know the answer?

The girl sniffed in disgust. "Your silence speaks volumes," she hissed, slowly rising to her feet. She softly padded her way over to stand beside the demon's kneeling figure.

Sesshoumaru jerked his head away from her and stared out into the void surrounding them. "I don't know," he finally whispered.

"You don't know?" Rin repeated mockingly.

"No," the demon replied, "but you should not define your existence by this Sesshoumaru's perceptions." He turned back to face her and leaned in close. "Live for yourself, and not for this Sesshoumaru. I owe you a life. Take it, and do as you please."

Rin's bottom lip began to tremble. "You would bring me back even if I intended to leave you?" she asked in a quivering voice.

"Yes," Sesshoumaru answered honestly. "It is only what you deserve."

The girl drew in a shaky breath and let her eyes dance about while looking at nothing at all. She swallowed hard and did her best to keep the tears from falling, but there were a few that escaped the corners of her eyes despite her efforts. Finally, she drew in another shaking breath and pushed it out in a long, even sigh.

Her eyes locked on Sesshoumaru's. "I will come back," she choked, "but I will not set the terms of this agreement until I am alive once again."

Sesshoumaru nodded. It was only fair that she do this. He had cheated her out of so much without ever really meaning to. If he was careless about this, then he would surely lose her forever.

Clearing her throat, Rin dabbed at her eyes with the hem of one of her sleeves. She blinked a few times as she composed herself once more and then smiled shyly. Rising to her knees, she filled the distance between them with a few crawling steps before holding both of her arms open. Sesshoumaru could only watch, frozen in place, as Rin wrapped one arm over the front of his chest, and the other across his back and over a shoulder. Then she started pulling him down.

"Please," she whispered, "just for a little while." Rin placed the demon's head on her lap where she cradled it with one hand. Arching her back, she let her head hover directly over his. Her hair fell in a dark brown curtain around their faces.

Prudently, Sesshoumaru raised his left hand and let the heel rest upon Rin's cheek while his clawed fingers wove through her hair.

"Thank you," he said with awe.

_Thank you for loving me._

888888888

A/N: This chapter made me smash my head against the wall for hours. I had to go and delete entire passages because the plot would change, or have holes, or just be boring. However, it has inspired me to tack on a special treat at the end of this whole story. You'll know it when you see it. Thank yous of course go to my best friend and best beta out there, Botan. It was you who cradled my ego when I cried frustrated tears of despair as the deadlines slowly closed in. You figuratively guided me through Hell, and the symbolism is not lost. Only one more to go until the fluff!

A few reviewers have expressed a jarring sensation when reading "modern" sounding language in the text of this story. Originally, I intended the use of this contemporary lingo to signify the cruder, coarser, or more casual side of a character. As epic as Feudal Japan may have been, I am almost certain the common folk had their own, more simple language dialect. I believe people in Feudal Japan did speak in slang terms when dealing with the more unrefined aspects of life, just as people in Europe's feudal era did. The only way I can convey this linguistic occurrence is with slang I am familiar with. If enough people complain about it, then I will do my best to revise it. Yes, once this fic is done there will be revisions. I do listen to comments made in that direction, and by all means do I understand that a posting is not perfect just because it is posted. I just need to smooth out the rough spots here and there.


	9. Chapter 9

_The Pearl_

Disclaimer: The only person with less of a claim on Inuyasha than I is Kikyou.

Chapter Nine

_To fight and conquer in all our battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting. _--Sun-Tzu, _The Art of War_

_Love is a kind of warfare_. --Ovid, _Ars Amatoria_

8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8

As a living being, Sesshomaru knew his passage out of Hell would be much easier than his passage in. After all, he was not supposed to be there in the first place, and the natural properties of Hell ordered that such an infraction be resolved quickly and thoroughly. For Rin, it was the exact opposite; getting into Hell was the easiest part. Once a dead soul was held in the clutches of the unending darkness, every fiber of that universe constricted like a net to block off any means of escape.

He carried her across in pieces, from the youngest to the oldest. Each journey, he would deposit his passenger within the remains of his father's skeleton, and then turn back for the next. It was frightening and painful, for the borderline between Hell and limbo was unforgiving to the senses. Each passage to the outside threatened to break his bones as he fought against Hell trying reclaim what was being stolen from its body. He was forced to listen helplessly to Rin's anguished tears as the fingers of Death struggled to draw her back in. Each return sent him reeling into the helpless state he had experienced during his first arrival. Blind, deaf, and essentially naked in the dark, Sesshomaru had to force himself to move; otherwise he risked losing whichever parts of Rin that had been left behind. And then once they found one another, the process would begin all over again.

They all rested briefly in the remains of the Inu no Taisho. Sesshomaru had to marvel at seeing the three girls interact with one another. They were the same person, and yet they were so very different from one another. The littlest Rin was completely mute in regards to language, but she could laugh and cry without fail. Out of all of them, she was the most skittish when it came to interacting with their dog demon guardian. He couldn't blame her, for the only memories she must have of him were of their brief time in the woods. Sesshomaru hadn't been especially kind to the girl, but he had not been cruel either. The little girl had been curious but cautious. Her trust was earned only after he brought her back from the dead.

The teenage Rin had to be the most out-going and energetic of the three. She would coddle her younger self affectionately, while conversing casually with her older self. She also was not shy in talking to Sesshomaru. He greatly enjoyed this, though he was not going to admit it. At that age, Rin's relationship with him was odd because they were both still testing each others' waters. Yet it was because of this uncertainty that they were also very close, due to their shared determination to make whatever was happening between them work. This Rin was no longer a child, but was still _innocent._ She had the mental capacities of an adult, but the playful spirit of her former youth to counter balance. During these years there was no question in regards to her indispensability. She was needed, and there did not have to be a reason why. Sesshomaru knew Rin did not love him then as she did now; otherwise, she would have required an equivalent exchange of reasoning. Yet he never did offer her anything, and she still remained with him. Until now.

The oldest Rin would not look at Sesshomaru except from the corner of her eyes. She spoke only when necessary, and only smiled briefly when watching the antics of her younger selves. Sesshomaru knew she was guarding her emotions from him, and he did not fault her in the least for it. Still it pained him to be forced into estrangement with someone he was very fond of. He could be sure of those feelings at least. Part of him wanted to scoop her into his arms—the thrill of having two arms was still fresh in his psyche—and hold her until she worked things out on her own. But he also knew that _he_ was part of the problem she was going through, so trying to involve himself might only serve to complicate matters further. He at least had the encouragement of her touch to keep him steady. She had been the one holding him not too long ago, and it soothed the aches in his heart immensely.

Sesshomaru was far from being sure of Rin's motives. Once she reunited with her body, she would be free to leave him if it so pleased her. There would be nothing he could say or do about it; for all he knew, he was saving her life only to lose her again. But that didn't mean he wasn't any less obligated to bring her back. There were a lot of wrongs he had to make right, and doing this was the first giant step towards his redemption. All he could do was hope that Rin's love would not fail him still, just as it had not during all the years they had been together. It was the one sure thing of their lives, and he had taken it for granted. And he could not say with any certainty that he would not make the same mistake again.

"Sesshomaru-sama?" the teenaged Rin chirped.

"Yes?" the demon startled, jerking his head up. How long had he been staring blankly at his boots?

"We're ready now," the girl chuckled.

"Ah," he replied, standing. He hesitated in stepping forward; for all intensive purposes, he was not needed in any part of this act. Nonetheless he felt he should be close by in case something should go wrong.

The three girls joined hands in a ring. Each took a moment to gather herself before pulling one another into the center of their circle. When all three embraced, a light began to glow from within their bodies. Sesshomaru had seen a light similar in appearance being carried by soul collectors. But these were noticeably different in manifestation. Each glimmering orb had a pinkish center, gradually fading to a hazy white outline. It was stunning, and the demon admonished himself for being caught off guard by the true beauty of Rin's soul. Without warning the light exploded into a blinding brilliance, and with a resounding boom nearly knocked Sesshomaru off of his feet. After reaching its full intensity, the light began to slowly wan.

When the light faded completely, Rin emerged as one person. Exhausted from the ordeal, the girl staggered just to stay upright before finally finding stable footing amongst the littering of bones on the floor. It struck Rin as odd that she would think of this, but she could not help wondering how many of the skulls she was standing on were human. Probably not many, seeing as the Inu no Taisho had a reputation of being sympathetic to humans. She looked at the dog demon in front of her, who was the son of the demon she was standing inside of, and wondered how many human skulls she would find in his belly.

Sesshomaru shattered bones underneath his boots as he quickly moved to Rin's side in anticipation of her needing assistance. The girl merely smiled and shook her head.

"I'm alright," she sighed. Rin lifted her head and swiveled it around for a moment before facing Sesshomaru once again. "This is your father," she stated, though meant as a polite question.

The dog demon nodded, and began to look around for himself. The Inu no Taisho had been impressively large, even for a demon. In his true form Sesshomaru failed to reach even half the size of his father. As a boy growing up he idolized everything the older demon had. There was the land, and the army, and the limitless power he had at his disposal to make the young demon feel intimidated. It had been his sorest desire to make the great dog demon lord proud. As he grew older, Sesshomaru's eyes were unclouded from the truths of the world that only become visible with age. Suddenly the Inu no Taisho was no longer a god, but a man. Though he was still powerful, he had once been standing in Sesshomaru's youthful shoes and yearning to equal his own father in strength. Greatness of this caliber could be achieved.

When Izayaoi entered the picture, Sesshomaru no longer concerned himself with becoming his father's equal. The god turned man was transformed once more; now he was a weak-minded fool. He had become the literal lapdog of some inconsequential human female. Sesshomaru's view of the past changed when the Inu no Taisho married Izayaoi. Gone were the visions of power and prestige. He had _always_ been weak—it was so obvious now. The young demon felt foolish for ever idolizing his father in the first place. How could he have once thought of this pathetic creature as above his own stature? He had driven himself towards an ideal that never was. Everything he had achieved on his own served to further himself towards a perfection that only he could have. He was strong enough alone now, and in the waning shadow of his father it became more and more obvious to Sesshomaru that he was destined to have greatness. It came naturally.

Sesshomaru realized, standing inside the remains of the Inu no Taisho, how similar he was to his father despite every effort to prove otherwise. His perfect mind had come up with nothing but imperfect courses on which to carry out his life into the future. Each path was carefully checked for signs of his father's footprints before it was used. It mattered not if the paths he chose were less prudent because of this. And it was because of this stubborn rebellion that he had accidentally chosen a path which led right back to where he had left his father. The Inu no Taisho's motives were understood now. Sometimes in the quest for glory, despite your best efforts, you end up following your heart.

It was a grim prospect, knowing that his time in Hell was only the beginning of the hardships ahead. Sesshomaru had no way of telling how long he had been in this dismal world, and could not know how much of his empire was being destroyed as time ticked by. Would he surface in time to fix everything? Or would he arrive home to utter chaos, and have to fall into a war he knew had been long in coming? Would his lands survive? Did he still care? And what of Rin? Would she still have a place in his world?

The dog demon blinked the scales of his reminiscence from his eyes and found himself staring at the lovely girl before him. He knew she was lovely, but he had been afraid to admit it before, as if admitting this would somehow make him more susceptible to having feelings for her. But now he realized the statement was a fundamental truth, and not a sentimental rambling. It was just like saying, "The fire is hot," or, "The water is wet." Rin _is_ lovely.

She was wearing an elegant kimono of an exquisite design; layers of white, red, and mandarin alternated under the outermost layer of indigo, making six robes in all. A small mandarin orange obi was tied around her waist, complimenting nicely the cerulean fans patterning the top kimono. As stately as her clothes were, her hair was down and simple with only a thin, orange ribbon tied around a braided lock on the side of her head. In a funny way, it reminded Sesshomaru of that stubby little ponytail Rin used to wear as a child. It was a true pity that her clothes were not real in the living sense. The dog demon mentally noted the design so he might be able to commission a similar outfit for her once they were back in the Western Lands.

If she would permit him, that is.

"I'm ready, if you are," Rin said in a trembling breath.

"You are sure of the way you must go?" Sesshomaru asked, growing concerned.

Rin had informed him she could only surface back into the world through the place she had last been. She could re-enter her body then; except her body had been moved, so her soul would have to move to find it. This was something a soul should not do on its own. Ghosts were easily lost in the mortal world, because they would forget their past lives. Being essentially born again, they forgot everything except for the fact that they were dead. Being robbed of everything they once had tended to make vengeful spirits out of formerly gentle souls. Sesshomaru merely had to look at the grief and suffering his half-brother endured from the undead miko he associated with. Parallelism would indeed be a cruel fate.

It would be hazardous enough for Sesshomaru to guide Rin back home, but the circumstances could not be helped. Her body was too broken to be moved. Sesshomaru also worried that Rin's body had decayed past the point of recovery. It was possible that she could bring herself back to life, only to die again moments later from the mutilation she suffered in life.

The girl nodded gravely. "I know how to get there. I don't know how long it will take me, but I will come."

The demon nodded as he stood there dumbly, clenching and unclenching his fists. "Then I shall meet you there," he finally declared, though he was ashamed in the lack of confidence in his words. Sesshomaru simply could not cover his doubt that Rin would be able to survive without him being with her.

Rin noticed it as well. "I _will _be there, and I will wait for you," she said, "no matter how long it takes. It is entirely up to you to find me again and bring me home. I cannot do that myself."

Sesshomaru nodded. "This Sesshomaru will not fail," he growled. His hands were still twitching wildly. It had been awhile since he had used them in combat. Without Tenseiga to guard his passage, he knew not of what manner of dangers his return would be fraught with. Tokijin would be his primary defense, but he did not want to be left without a backup should something happen.

Satisfied, Rin turned to leave. Her own travels would be full of peril, and she was without any means of defense. She could not know how long it would take for her to make it back to the surface, but she would not rest until she did. Rin knew that though she had relied on Sesshomaru for protection when she was younger, she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself now. After all, it was what he had taught her to do.

The weight of every worrisome possibility began piling up in the caverns of Sesshomaru's mind. He could not support her through this; he had to rely on her strength completely if he was going to see her again. He would just have to trust that he would not lose her again.

Sesshomaru took to the sky and did not look back.

Rin watched him leave before she too made her departure. Her robes began lengthening, lifting her up until she too was in the air. The girl sighed wistfully. She had nothing to look back to, and yet she did; the future was too uncertain for her to turn her eyes forward.

888888888

Kouga raised his fist to the sky and, for the eighth time that morning, cursed whatever fates had decided to plague his life with these damn mutts.

The wolf prince had been woken very early in the morning. It wouldn't have been too bad; normally, he could shrug off whatever disturbance it was and go right back into a deep sleep. But not today. When he bolted upright, a chain reaction occurred which did not stop for anything until the sun had finally set and he was back in bed once more. Except it wasn't his bed; it was a bed in the Western Palace. And it looked as though tomorrow was going to start on the same foot all over again.

It had been…a day. Quite a day. A long day. A fan-fucking-tastic day. However you wanted to describe it.

During the wee hours of the morning, a heavily sleeping Kouga was shaken awake by an energetic Ayame. Rubbing his eyes and rolling over, he was met by a devious smile and a hand down the front of the fur pelt at his waist.

"Good morning," the demoness cooed.

Kouga groaned and raised a hand to his forehead. "Shit, woman," he griped while massaging his temples, "can't you let me sleep for another hour before you go doing that?"

Ayame frowned. "You don't want me?" she whimpered in a hurt tone.

"I'm _tired_," Kouga snapped.

This was probably what started everything spiraling into motion. Looking back, Kouga realized if he hadn't made the crucial mistake of saying those words, perhaps things would be different. Perhaps he'd be in his own den, bedding down for the night with his pregnant wife after eating a fresh kill that Ginta and Hakkaku helped hunt down. But no. He had to tell Ayame he was tired. Well, he was sure tired now.

The wolf demoness jerked herself away and hovered over her husband. "Is it because I'm ugly now?" she hissed. "Is that it? Because I'm too fat? Or are you wishing I was _someone_ else?"

"Fuck!" Kouga yelled, sitting up. "I can't believe you just said that! You know damn well how happy I am with you! You're carrying my damn kids!" Wolves never had single births, and from what Kouga could discern from the kickings and punchings within Ayame's belly, there were at least three little ones in there. It would be their first litter, and the wolf prince was immensely pleased at the prospect of being a father. His comrades had been avenged with the death of Naraku, and the neighboring wolf clans had banded together under his rule. Now it was his turn to take part in the repopulation of his people.

He just prayed the pups would take after him, and not their mother. Otherwise he was never going to get a moment's peace.

"So am I just the mother of your children now, and no longer your wife?" Ayame shot back bitterly. Her vibrant green eyes watered with tears, and her lower lip trembled.

The wolf prince shook his head, with both hands desperately rubbing his temples. "Woman!" he bellowed. "Can you just leave me alone and let me sleep!"

Apparently, "leave me alone" was translated by Ayame as "kick me in the ribs so hard that I roll out of the room."

Kouga let a string of curses fly as he pulled himself to his feet and staggered off to hopefully find another place where he could try to sleep. In this process, he was nearly mowed down by an over-excited Ginta as he rushed into the den.

"Kouga!" Ginta cried joyfully. "I was just coming to wake you up!"

The wolf prince grunted. "Ayame beat you to it," he muttered darkly. "And why were you going to wake me in the first place?"

Ginta and Hakkaku had both taken wives and were steadily building their own families in a neighboring den. But the two right hand men of the great prince Kouga were not about to let something as trivial as a family stop them from being their leader's constant body guards.

"There's someone here to see you," Ginta explained. "Hakkaku caught sight of a messenger just a few hours ago, and they're both nearly here. Someone important, from what he could tell."

_Great_. Kouga scratched the back of his head and yawned. _Should probably get dressed for this._

From the bedroom section of the den, he could hear Ayame sobbing rather dramatically. Prospects were slim that he was going to be able to go back in there to get his breastplate without blood being shed. Whoever it was coming would just have to put up with an armor-less warrior prince.

Hakkaku arrived soon after, but Kouga didn't need to be told where the messenger had come from. He could recognize the stench of dog coming up the mountain already.

"One of Sesshomaru's lackeys," he growled, answering _his_ lackeys' unspoken question.

If Ayame hadn't been in such a foul mood, Kouga probably would not have been motivated into leaving the den and journeying to the Western Lands as the messenger requested. But as Kouga later realized, everything could have probably changed for the better if he had just kept his mouth shut.

So here he was: wifeless, sleepless, and backed into a proverbial corner. And for as much as Kouga didn't like it, there wasn't a damn thing he could do, really.

888888888

"You owe this Sesshomaru a blood debt," the dog demon rumbled in a low, even tone.

Kouga looked heaven-ward and mentally cursed before turning to face his _gracious_ host. "So what if I do? I don't remember owing you anything!"

"Bastard," Sesshomaru gritted through his teeth, "you know of what I speak."

The wolf pretended to be ignorant, but he did understand what Sesshomaru was referring to.

"_That's him, Sesshomaru-sama!" the little girl cried fearfully. "That is the wolf that killed Rin!"_

_The dog demon stalked over to where Kouga stood, and glared menacingly. "Do you deny this?" he baited._

_Kouga nearly laughed out loud. "How would I know?" he shouted in exasperation. "I don't kill humans anymore, and when I did, I didn't keep track. Besides, if I supposedly killed the whelp, then how is she alive and fingering me for it now?"_

_Truthfully, he'd hoped this would settle the matter. Of course he knew who the girl was. Ginta and Hakkaku had informed him of her existence after their own encounter with Sesshomaru that same day. Kouga had always hoped that the dog demon would forget about it in favor of Naraku. _

And he did, apparently. Except Naraku was dead, which meant there was time to think about other things. A dog demon with a freshly aroused murderous mind was not something to be tangled with. Someone could end up losing a limb.

"_Bastard," the dog demon grunted. "You owe a blood debt to this Sesshomaru. It will be honored one day."_

Apparently that day was today.

"Your debt is due," the demon lord declared ominously. "This Sesshomaru requires a service, wolf."

Kouga frowned. "A service? What the fuck do you mean, _a service_?"

"You will ally yourself temporarily with this Sesshomaru. You will stay here and negotiate against the Eastern and Southern lords. You will provide military support if required."

"And why should I?"

Sesshomaru looked away, his face slowly darkening. "It is in you best interest to do so," he answered in a smooth, low voice.

888888888

Lord Takeda had been the first to show up at the Western palace demanding answers. A leading general under his command was dead, along with his entire battalion. There was no assassin to blame for this; Sesshomaru had deliberately stormed and slaughtered his way through this part of the Eastern Lands.

But Takeda was no fool. The Southern Lands had not chosen sides in this matter yet, and even if they did form an allegiance with the East they would still be no match for the Western armies. As much as Lord Takeda's demon blood screamed to spill blood and split heads for the dishonor he had suffered, he knew the result would be his ruin. That left only one option: diplomacy. Sesshomaru was belligerent and ruthless, but he was also a nobleman. He understood the nature of his actions called for reparations on the part of the East. He also understood that a war would be suicidal on Lord Takeda's part. Honor therefore dictated that satisfaction be delivered in a more gentlemanly fashion.

Therefore Takeda wanted his lands back.

The Lady Mieko was not the simpering brat she had been during her last visit to Sesshomaru's shiro. Always much stronger than her brother, she had wholly embraced the responsibilities befitting an heir to an empire; the weight now on her shoulders was conscientiously borne. She had risen to her father's left hand position, and become his second shadow. And, just like her father, she was incensed over General Shouji's death. However, Mieko had different reasons for her rage.

Rumors were spreading that Shouji had some kind of blackmail on Sesshomaru, and that was why the dog demon had been so thorough in his slaughter. More intimate versions of these rumors included a human female as the center of the dispute. The two males became rivals because of something this supposed girl had or knew. But these speculations did not make much sense, because there was no motive behind them. Unless the human female was the supposed assassin that Sesshomaru had killed in exchange for land. It had only been a wild theory in the past, but when coupled with these new circumstances, too many pieces fit to merit ignorance. If this truly were the case, then Sesshomaru had deliberately made an attempt on Shouji's life for his own benefit, and used a weapon that would be hard for the playboy general to resist.

Mieko was newly betrothed to said general, putting Shouji in a position of great power. Had he lived, he would have eventually become the new Lord of the Eastern Lands. While the moth demoness had no real emotional attachment to her husband-to-be, she knew the arrangement could not get any better for either party. Shouji would have his power, and Mieko would have a strong, handsome husband to breed strong, handsome heirs with. There was no doubt that Shouji would still continue his flirtations with every woman in his sight, but this meant Mieko would have a blind eye turned to her periodically. This left her open to any number of possibilities as a ruler. No other man would be this unrestrictive. Now she was faced with the search for a new husband, and the prospects looked discouraging. Mieko's dreams of power and prestige were crushed, and she held Sesshomaru accountable for it.

The two ruling moth demons and their party of advisors had already been waiting for two days inside the palace for the Western lord to return. The air was thick with tension, and Sesshomaru was embarrassed by the snarls and clipped demands he gave to those around him. He knew what Takeda wanted, but he could not give it to him in good conscience. The lands confiscated by the West had already been scouted and developed to accommodate areas for tactical military defense. Giving these lands over would give a significant advantage to Takeda. Word was also quickly spreading that Lord Ryu of the Southern Lands had caught wind of the negotiations going on and wanted his fair share as well.

Sesshomaru was dealing with two very angry and very greedy demon lords who would not hesitate to take his head. If he engaged in war against both Takeda and Ryu, the outcome might not be in his favor. If it wasn't for Rin…

If it wasn't for Rin, he wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. He would be in much deeper turmoil, because if it wasn't for Rin, Sesshomaru would have not hesitated to open war on three separate fronts and expect to win. If it wasn't for Rin, he wouldn't have spent time away from his conflicted empire, possibly letting it slip an irrevocable distance into chaos. He would have lost her to the ages, and with that lost everything that was remotely _good_ and pure in his life. If it wasn't for Rin, he wouldn't be backed into a corner with only one escape. And it was partly because of Rin that he did not like what that one life-line meant.

He needed an ally. War of this kind would do nothing but destroy the four lands and dissolve the demon monarchy. There was no way he could confidently face his enemies while his back was against a wall. The East and South were at his gate, demanding blood for blood. There was only one direction he could turn.

North.

888888888

"How do I know that you won't turn around and betray me when this is all over?" Kouga demanded. "There is a reason you're being targeted, you know."

Sesshomaru curled his lip and bared his fangs. "This Sesshomaru has no desire for your territories," he scoffed. "You would not be here now if that were not true."

Kouga nodded shrewdly. "That may be," he countered, scratching his chin, "but I _fail to see_ _how this exchange is equivocal on both ends_." The wolf smirked, rather proud of his sarcasm. He was never a noble in the same way that Sesshomaru, Takeda, and Ryu were. His kingdom was a mountainous wilderness, and his palace was a cave. But he was not ignorant to the ways of nobility. He merely chose to not partake in them. Quite frankly, Kouga viewed himself as above the superficial snobbery he observed in the neighboring lands, just as they in turn saw him as a brutish, brainless savage. He wasn't about to go and dispute that; there were some elements of truth in the implications. His image served him well, and that meant that the other lords left him as far alone as possible.

Now Sesshomaru was asking him to get involved. There would be heavy repercussions for whatever decision he made, regardless. Kouga knew that if he decided to pull back, there would be a good possibility of war. War meant conquest, and conquest meant that his lands would be seen as one more item on the trophy list. But if he decided to stay and throw in his lot with Sesshomaru, there still could be a war. Granted, the West and North allied together could easily decimate the East and South, but it still meant lives would be lost from his troops. It also meant that in the future, should something like this ever happen again, he would not be able to stand idly by.

The wolf prince narrowed his eyes and grunted. "Give me the night to consider it," he grumbled. "I'll tell you what I think tomorrow morning."

Sesshomaru ground his teeth but refrained from any kind of outburst. This was just one more delay, which meant it just placed more time in the space that separated him from Rin. Each hour was critical.

When he had returned and checked on Rin's body, he had been disheartened to find the wounds from her first death had already completed themselves, and her second death was beginning to take form. A healer had been summoned to stitch the openings in her neck and belly closed as they formed, but the effects were still gruesome. Her skin was growing ashen and waxy. Her chestnut hair was dark as dead wood. The skin around her fingernails was beginning to shrivel back. The smell of death thickened the air. Still, without the Tenseiga Rin would decay even further, beyond all hope of repair.

The dog demon rose and waited for his guest to do the same. Bowing politely, Sesshomaru then excused them both from the chamber so that he could put into motions the preparations of a room for Kouga.

He led the wolf through a corridor, before opening a door that led directly into the courtyard and gestured outside.

"You may wait out here," he gruffly commanded. "When your quarters are ready there will be a servant sent to fetch you."

Kouga smirked. The dog was really putting on airs by offering a civilized bed to a purported beast. He watched Sesshomaru leave, and couldn't help himself.

"Hey!" he called after his host. "Make sure that little frog of yours knows I like extra blankets!"

Sesshomaru snarled but did not turn back; he merely stomped loudly and quickly away. Kouga laughed in spite of himself. Apparently hot tempers ran in the family.

888888888

Jaken did not take too kindly to the wolf's ridiculous demands. After all that had happened in the past weeks, his nerves were nearly fried beyond recognition. Kouga found it all quite amusing, which was why he went out of his way the next morning to hunt the toad down and demand a bath be prepared. After all, if he came home smelling nice, Ayame might be open to the idea of forgiving him by the end of the month. He hoped.

_Where is that damn frog?_ Kouga grumped, hunting up and down the palace halls. The stench of dog was especially thick down one particular corridor, and the wolf deduced it was Sesshomaru's personal wing of the mansion.

Which meant there was a greater likelihood of finding Jaken there.

"Oi, frog!" Kouga called as he sauntered down the hall. From behind one of the doors, he could hear Jaken cussing out his annoyance towards his new pet name. The door slid open, and the agitated imp poked his slimy head out to glare at the wolf.

"What do you want, you menace?" he demanded hotly.

Kouga stifled his laughter at the sight. _So _this _is why the mutt insists on keeping this walking cabbage around,_ he thought wryly. _I don't know how he stays so stone-faced when he has such a willing victim to kick around._

The wolf was about to begin his rant on the poor quality of his sleep because of the inferior nature of his bedding, when he caught a whiff of something quite _dead_. Kouga gagged and blinked his fastly tearing eyes. The smell was definitely coming from inside the room Jaken was standing in. It had been a long time since he had been exposed to this particular odor, but Kouga knew with no mistake that it was the smell of a dead human.

Curiosity has never been exclusive to cats, and Kouga had never been particular about offending anyone by sticking his nose into matters that were definitely not his business.

"What the fuck do you have in here, stinkin' up the whole place?" he demanded impatiently. Rushing through the toad was easy; he merely kicked Jaken to the side and entered the darkened room to have a look around.

"Get out of here right NOW!" Jaken screamed, lunging towards Kouga with his two-headed staff. The imp began wildly attacking with his weapon, aiming deliberately for the wolf's kneecaps.

Kouga yelped in pain, but jumped further into the room to stay out of reach of his assailant. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see a body on a bed; quite obviously, this was what he was searching for.

Jaken managed to take Kouga by surprise by running headlong towards the wolf, leaping into the air, and latching onto his target's back. With new fervor, Jaken began beating Kouga on the head with his staff, eliciting a series of sharp, canine yips and the foulest curses imaginable.

"Get the FUCK off my head you fucking frog!" Kouga bellowed, clawing wildly at his parasitic attacker. Quite obviously he had stumbled onto something he was definitely _not_ supposed to see, which made him all the more determined to see it.

He didn't want to permanently injure the little demon, but Kouga could not see any peaceable option that would result in Jaken leaving his head. With controlled strength, Kouga grabbed the retainer by his collar and pitched him across the room where he landed just short of the wall. Too stunned to move for the moment, Jaken watched helplessly as Kouga edged closer to the bed.

"I swear wolf," Jaken muttered darkly, "if you touch her I will kill you."

But Kouga was too busy being shocked by what he saw on the bed to be shocked by Jaken's uncharacteristic threat.

"This is---" he gasped, but couldn't finish his thought. He knew that it wasn't _her_, but—

_Kagome_, he reeled, _this girl looks so much like Kagome when—_

Kouga forced himself to break his thoughts before they caused him any more grief. He'd worked so hard to bury that particular memory, and the wounds from that day had no chance to heal because of this denial.

The final battle with Naraku had not been kind to anyone involved. There had only been two casualties suffered: the demon slayer boy, and _the girl_.

She had given her life to protect another. Perhaps she did not realize that the blow she stepped into would be fatal. Knowing Kagome, she probably knew and did it for that very reason. It had felt like time stopped on the battle-field as he watched the little miko girl crumple in a heap on the grass. Everyone was screaming, as if their voices together could call her back. He had watched her give her final breath in a bloody cough, and then slump into the dirt with a content smile. And the girl Kagome had died to save kept fighting, because that was what Kagome would have wanted.

True, Kagome had been brought back. The undead miko that had been spared from the strike that took her reincarnation returned the favor in kind. By laying down her own life, the borrowed pieces of Kagome's soul returned to where they had always meant to be. Kikyou crumbled to dust, and Kagome gasped wildly for air. Yes, Kagome had survived, and she had gone on to live between the two worlds she called home. By day, she was a high school student, a shrine maiden, and devoted daughter. When the evenings came, she returned to the world where she was a revered priestess working to rebuild what Naraku had undone, and—

_---and—_

wife to Inuyasha.

This was the human girl that followed Sesshomaru. And, judging from the way she looked, Sesshomaru was not taking her death lightly.

He knew the wounds on her body as well as he knew the splinters of a twig, or the crumblings of a stone. She had been killed by a wolf, but it was not the cause of the death he saw now. These were old wounds, newly opened and decaying her body further. Whatever was going on was being tried desperately to stop.

Jaken had gotten back onto his feet and jumped onto the bed where he stood beside the dead girl. His staff was aimed carefully towards the wolf, ready to blaze with fire should the threat arise.

"You're responsible for some of this, you mangy beast," the imp hissed. "Those marks are your doing from when she was a child."

Kouga blinked in disbelief. He did not understand why the girl was dead. He had no idea why her past death was manifesting itself once more on her skin. But he did know that smile on her lips. It was a smile of content, and she had found that contentment in death. The girl had been killed unjustly, and had found peace in spite of it; perhaps even because of it.

"I'm sorry," the wolf stammered, backing away. His eyes darted nervously around the room, suddenly afraid of what he might find lurking in the shadows. A very large demonic aura was approaching, and Kouga knew it would not be good to be found here. Without saying anything further he quickly left the room and shut the door.

Sesshomaru was standing quietly in the hall, nearly making Kouga jump.

"I'm sorry," he apologized again. It was times like this that he needed to remind himself that Sesshomaru was _not_ Inuyasha. The full-blooded dog demon would not hesitate to exact whatever punishment his sadistic mind designed at a moment's notice.

"I'm sorry," the wolf repeated, but this time it was not meant for himself. _I'm sorry for that poor girl_.

Sesshomaru saw the light of understanding in Kouga's eyes, and softened. This was something the wolf could relate to. This was something he had once fought for. He might fight for it again.

"She was tortured, in every way possible. She took her own life," he slowly explained. "She was the one responsible for the murders in the South and the East."

Kouga's eyes widened. _This girl had killed all of those demons? By herself?_

"She was captured," the wolf realized aloud. "She was captured and tortured by that Shouji person."

"But she did not need to die," Sesshomaru growled softly. "She did nothing that was not of this Sesshomaru's own design. She lived a life that was not her own, and died a death she did not deserve."

"Ah," Kouga answered in a dry whisper. He understood now. Inuyasha was not the only dog demon with a fondness for innocent, brave women who gave their lives so their men could have a life worth living.

Except there would never be a life worth living without her.

"You have my sword," the wolf prince pledged solemnly. "Let me send word to my clans. I will sit with you when Ryu comes."

Sesshomaru lowered his eyes. Rin's blind service to him continued to bring him the upper hand in politics. It shamed him to use her death to his advantage, but—

_but_—

he was weak without her.

The wolf demon walked away in silence, leaving Sesshomaru alone to eavesdrop on Jaken.

"I got rid of him, Rin-chan," the faithful retainer cheered, trying to mask the tears in his voice. "He can't hurt you again, not anymore."

_No,_ Sesshomaru promised, _not anymore._

888888888

The battlefield.

It had been a month since he had last set foot on this earth. Only a few bodies littered the ground, decaying into the dirt. Soldiers left to this fate were the ones with no family, no friends, and no one else to speak of. They were the ones forgotten as the wives, and mothers, and children came to weep for their departed, before taking the bodies to an honorable burial. These were the shells of the unloved.

Sesshomaru plucked from the ground a cracked piece of the pearl. Gone was the luster of its skin. The rosy blush was now a flat gray, only a few shades lighter than a common stone. That is what it became when Rin smashed it; how fitting then that it should lose its brilliance from losing her soul. It was that property alone that made it so much more than a rock. Rin's soul could transmute mud into china, rough ore into polished steel, or a patch of weeds into a lush forest. That was its power.

The demon knew its effects well. After all, it had changed him too. He couldn't quite say what he had become because of Rin, but he knew some small, internal part of his being had been permanently altered.

Where was she? Was he too late to save her once again? Or was she the one breaking the promise this time?

His breastplate still bore the scratch Rin had made with the pearl. Sesshomaru looked down absently to reassess the damage, but was taken aback by what he saw. Haunting his waking eyes was Rin's face, smiling and dying all at once. She was falling, and he could not catch her…

Sesshomaru stumbled backwards a few steps before regaining his composure. This place was doing terrible things to his mind. In-between his fingers and thumb, he could feel a gritty substance; closer inspection revealed that he had crumbled the lone shard from the pearl he'd been holding. How fragile it seemed! When Rin held it, there was no force strong enough to break it, or at least he'd previously thought that to be true. The only force strong enough to break it when Rin held it was Rin herself. This possibility had never been factored into the equation of their relationship. Quite simply, he was supposed to protect her, and she was not supposed to die in return. There was no extra space for other alternatives—it was what it was. He was the one responsible for unbalancing the scale by failing to protect her. In hindsight, he wondered why he'd been so shocked at Rin's actions, when subconsciously he had to have known the outcome of the new equation he'd just written.

A nose startled him, and relieved him all at once. He turned to look over his shoulder and saw Rin step out from behind a dead tree.

"You're here," she murmured. "You came."

888

Rin had been waiting for him to come for three days. She knew the chances of her meeting him just as she arrived were impossible, but she had hoped that he would arrive by the next morning at least. Everything about the mortal world was painful to her. She could feel her soul struggling to stay intact; if she lost her mind then she would lose everything. Each passing day tore her sanity apart a few threads farther. She began to convince herself that Sesshomaru would not come. At first, she could shrug off her fears as a product of her growing dementia. But she soon forgot that her fears were mere delusions. Rin began to believe.

And now he was here. She wasn't seeing things; Sesshomaru had actually come and was standing right in front of her. But a part of her made her wait. She wanted to see how he would react to not finding her there. Would he get impatient and leave? Would he sit and wait?

The demon seemed content to take his time. He walked slowly around the field. He bent down to pick something up from the ground. _The pearl_, she realized, or what was left of it. She watched as Sesshomaru ran his fingers over the scratch on his breast plate, then fall backwards awkwardly a few steps. He was struggling with something she could not see.

Sesshomaru clenched his fists and narrowed his eyes in thought. He was going to stay. Rin could not stand hiding in the darkness for a moment longer.

"You're here," she murmured, stepping forward from the shadows. "You came."

The demon swallowed. "Yes," he rasped. "This Sesshomaru promised to come."

"You're here," Rin repeated. She mentally kicked herself for being so simple, but words were failing her. "I am…"

But she trailed off. She was not glad to see him, or at least not completely. Her soul still held the pain of his betrayal. But she was not completely angry with him either. Slits of love scarred her heart, and would never be able to heal.

"We should be going," Sesshomaru interrupted bluntly.

Rin nodded, suddenly grateful for the demon's emotionless nature. Each second she spent apart from her body in this state was excruciating. It would be nice to be able to feel warm again, or smell flowers, or taste food. She did not know what the next day had in store for her, but she was certain she was strong enough to face it on her own.

The girl stood behind her escort and put her palm against his back. Taking this as a sign she was ready, the dog demon built up his demonic aura so they could take flight. Neither spoke; they simply looked towards the West, waiting for home to appear on the horizon.

888888888

Rin was seriously beginning to have second thoughts about all of this.

Her limbs were thrashing wildly as she struggled for breath. The taste of blood burned her tongue. The entire room seemed to be pressing down on her, and everything _hurt_.

"Get something to prop her up, Jaken!" Takako cried.

The worried imp scrambled to find some thick, winter blankets. He could only carry one at a time; after three trips, he began stuffing the blankets behind Rin's back while Takako held the girl up.

The slight elevation began taking its effect, and Rin could feel her breaths coming with greater ease. Tears were streaming down her face, and she soon broke out into low, slow sobs. This was not how she had envisioned her second chance to be. The past five days had been beyond miserable. She couldn't eat, only slept in short but deep naps, had to be constantly helped by someone to do anything, and did not have a single moment when she was not in pain. It was humiliating. Rin was beginning to feel she had made the wrong choice.

"Feeling better?" Jaken asked timidly. He held onto Rin's much larger hand as best he could and stroked the top.

The girl could feel herself calming. Jaken was at her side most of the time, only leaving when decency demanded so. Takako had not once left the room, as far as Rin could tell, since the day she breathed new life all over again. Both tried everything in their powers to comfort her as best they could, but knew even their best was barely felt.

"Would you like some water?" Takako asked. The demoness was pale, with dark circles under her eyes. She felt exhausted, but could not bring herself to leave for fear something might happen.

Rin opened her mouth and answered a dry, "Yes." Her voice was not dependable, and she lost it more frequently than she found it.

Takako dipped a rag into the bowl of cool water at her side, then raised the cloth to Rin's mouth. The girl began to gently suck on the wet fabric, taking little swallows as she could manage. Even water could not stay down sometimes, so the three had learned to be careful.

"Your stitches look much better today," Jaken weakly offered. "I think only one more week before they can be taken out."

"And you slept for four hours last night," Takako cooed. "You're getting better and better every day."

Rin opened and closed her heavy eyes. Whenever she began having her doubts, Takako and Jaken were always there to change her mind. They had absolutely no idea that their kind words and gentle care were convincing Rin that life was worth living.

She had caught bits and pieces of what was going on through her two friends. Kouga had brought down a small band of his finest guerilla warriors to surround the Western palace. The effect was quite potent; Takeda and Ryu were less threatening in their demands. Katsuro had been named the catalyst of all of these horrible events. The young general was denounced as a traitor to the West, and as such he was the reason Sesshomaru had stormed Shouji's stronghold. The two generals were conspiring together against the Western lord; therefore Sesshomaru's actions had been defensive. His lands were under a direct threat, and he took what actions necessary to stop it.

As for the matter of the so-called assassin, the blame was once again placed on Katsuro. Sesshomaru had indeed destroyed the assassin as he had claimed the first time. But Katsuro, wishing to bring down the Western lord at all costs, began hiring mercenaries to take the place of the dead villain. Much to Sesshomaru's shame, he could not reveal these happenings out of caution. If the nature of this new string of crimes was found out, he would never have been able to ferret out the betrayer he knew was in his house. As promised, each mercenary was found and killed, but it did not end the problem. By killing both Katsuro and Shouji, Sesshomaru asserted that an even greater threat to the neighboring lands had been stopped. As he reminded Takeda, Shouji had been in league with a known traitor; what was to stop him from then betraying _his_ lord?

The negotiations were simple. Sesshomaru would give back one-third of the lands he had been awarded in atonement for his deception. Because he had done what he had promised to all along, the remaining land would stay under his control. The conspiracy had been laid to rest, and the four lands could once again live without any fear.

Today was the finalizing of the new treaties being drawn. A barrier had been placed over Rin's door as a necessary precaution. She had not been told of Kouga's intrusion, but she had been made aware that a strange demon barging in was a very real possibility. She also had not been told of the wolf's second visit, while she had fallen asleep during her first day back. He did not stay long; he merely wanted to check the girl's progress. Satisfied, he left the room and busied himself with the politics bouncing back and forth between the lands.

Rin had received a few visitors, actually. Kyoshii had come a few times, but never stayed long. Rin could tell he was uncomfortable seeing her like this, and did not hold his stiff manners against him. Kado had been brought to the window, and Rin's mattress was dragged over so she could reach her hand up and touch the horse. The move had exhausted her though, and she struggled to stay awake the whole time. Eventually she had fallen asleep, and woken up to find herself back where she belonged. Some of the servants and soldiers who were fond of the girl, and who could be trusted to keep their mouths shut, were allowed in. They were permitted only one, short visit, and there was no guarantee Rin would be awake for it. Still, being told of all of the people who had come to wish her well gave Rin a stronger will to heal.

Only one person Rin knew had not visited her. She couldn't say she minded, either. His condescending gaze would not put her in the best of spirits. Part of her _did_ want him to come, but only to make more evident the damages he had caused her. But Rin did not have the energy to be spiteful, so she kept her mouth shut. Perhaps it was for the best. She could see him when she was fully recovered. _If_ he wasn't too busy with his empire.

"You should rest, Rin-chan," Jaken encouraged. "Do you think you can eat something today?"

Rin pulled the rag from her mouth and nodded. "I feel…stronger…today," she heaved. "That last fit…was really tough. But I'm okay." The muscle spasms were occurring less frequently with each passing day. Before, they had been full-on seizures that almost always knocked her unconscious for a few moments afterwards. Now they merely took her breath away for a second or two, leaving nothing but a dull ache behind as evidence.

"This Jaken will see to your dinner then," the imp said, and excused himself from the room.

Rin turned to Takako. "I hate Jaken's soup," she moaned pitifully.

The demoness smiled and smoothed Rin's hair out of her face. "He's gotten better, you must admit. And he only has the best of intentions at heart."

The girl nodded, but looked down with sad eyes. Takako scooted behind Rin so she could try and detangle some of the girl's hair. It had become so brittle and dry, almost like straw.

"He was the one who carried your body home," Takako continued. "He tried to bring that dragon in the house to carry you to your room, but luckily Kyoshii had come up to keep an eye on things. It pains the poor thing to leave your side. The only reason I get any time alone with you is because I convinced him you would be fine if I changed your clothes alone. And I might have slipped somewhere and told him he was a good cook."

Rin smiled brightly. "So mean," she laughed, but soon started coughing for air. The smile faded back into a tired frown.

"I'm sure you would not have done any different," the older woman, giving a watery chuckle. It had been so encouraging to see Rin's smile again. It was going to take a long time for her to heal fully, and sometimes it was hard to tell if she was making any progress at all. A smile was worth a thousand hours of worrying.

She noticed the girl was beginning to nod off, so she reached around and tenderly shook Rin's shoulder. "Wait until Jaken gets back with food," she half-ordered, half-pleaded. "You can sleep after you eat a little something."

"When did he…start calling me…'-chan'?" Rin murmured.

Takako sniffed haughtily. "I told him you wouldn't like it," she said in a clipped tone. "I'll tell him to stop."

"No," the girl begged softly. She stopped to catch her breath from the sudden rush of adrenaline. Rin rolled her eyes and tilted her neck back so she could see Takako. "I like it," she told the demoness with a small smile.

The older woman smiled back. "I'm glad you do," she answered, stroking the girl's cheek. "He worries so much for you, as do I. We care about you, Rin."

"That's why I like it," Rin sighed, slouching forward. "I guess…I don't have…to call him '-sama'…anymore."

Takako laughed. "Don't do that," she giggled. "You're the only person who does; taking that away would just crush him. He gets picked on enough."

Rin nodded. "I see," she replied softly, and let the matter drop. Perhaps it wasn't Jaken that needed to be seen in a different light.

888

Takako sighed and wiped the sweat from her forehead. The summer nights had gotten hotter than she had ever remembered, and yet Rin still shivered under her blankets. She would have asked Jaken to fetch another, but the toad had been…persuaded to leave earlier. As tired as she was, Takako was not about to abandon Rin in that dark room. At least not yet.

"She doesn't ask about you," she whispered to the black void.

Nothingness was her reply.

"Are you going to tell her?" Takako mocked.

The shadow was still silent, and merely stood guard over the room.

The demoness sighed in frustration and exhaustion. "You're not doing her any good like this," she gritted angrily. "She's going to think you've abandoned her."

Finally, a deep voice cut through the night. "You should get some sleep," was all it said.

"Coward," Takako spat as she rose to her feet. "You're not proving a damn thing by doing this."

She bowed curtly, letting the implications of her words hang in the air, and hoping that their recipient would choke under their weight.

_I cannot prove what I do not know,_ Sesshomaru thought solemnly. He watched Takako leave in a huff, like she had every night. The dog demon then turned to Rin and felt a sharp twisting in his chest. He was reaching, but could find nothing to grab onto. And it hurt.

_I cannot give you what you want_, he cursed angrily, _not now. It would not be sincere._

Takako found Jaken sleeping in a hunched position outside of the door, like every night. She smiled kindly at the little imp. His was the face that met Rin every morning. When she began to wake, Jaken's sharp hearing could pick up the stirrings in the room and send him to action. The door would open, and his master would leave the faithful retainer to Rin's side. Nothing was said, but Jaken knew Sesshomaru would be back again after the sun had set. Takako would arrive shortly after, and together they would carry the broken girl through another day, always hoping.

"He's going to break her heart again, Jaken-san," the demoness whispered with tears in her eyes, "and there's nothing we can do."

888888888

Sesshomaru thought about having reservations towards sitting in Rin's room and watching her sleep every night. There was just something unsettling about him being alone, in the dark, staring at the woman he'd killed. But he quickly banished that troublesome logic. He was protecting her, as promised. After all the promises he'd broken thus far, he needed to keep this one at all costs.

It was almost painful to see. Her body was frail from exhaustion, and had not allowed her to eat solid food since life had reawakened her. A great deal of bed rest was needed. Every moment she was awake was precious time; the more crucial details of her recovery had to be carried out as quickly as possible. From the moment she woke, spoonfuls of miso soup, changes of clothes, and assisted walks around the room were forced upon her. She was recovering, but it always seemed that for each step forward she made, two steps backwards immediately followed. The amount of healing her body needed was sapping any strength before it could surface. As such, Rin had lost a considerable amount of weight, and her clothes bunched and billowed where they once settled and smoothed. The collar of her sleeping robe was a prime example. True, Rin's intent had been to loosen it slightly and provide a vent against the warm weather, but in her sleep the fabric had slumped down her shoulders completely and pushed the sleeves over her hands. Sesshomaru could see her pale skin in the gloom. A delicate halo of blue light floated over the girl's body. But that same fair skin was sunken in spots, marred by sharp bones jutting out from underneath the taut surface and the stitches in her neck.

Rin was far from being indecent, but it was more skin than Sesshomaru had ever seen on her since she became an adult. Once again, he was reminded of just how lovely she looked. He _wanted_ to admire it; such beauty begged to be appreciated. But each time he tried, the same thought would stab his heart.

_Shouji had seen much, much more._

There was no skirting about the subject. Sesshomaru could still remember smelling the pungent tang of sex mingled in the air between the broken girl and her demon captor. Barely hours before their battle, Shouji had bedded her and neglected to mask any of the evidence. The stench was sickening to the dog demon; far worse than the scent of her life's blood draining from her steadily dying body. It was a fate worse than death, and he had sent her straight into it. The very image of the conniving bastard enjoying himself with his eyes and hands on her…

The scent of blood startled Sesshomaru, and he immediately leaned closer to the sleeping girl. But this was definitely not her blood's scent. Immediately his gaze shifted to himself and discovered his hands were bleeding. Apparently, he'd been clenching his fists, which resulted in digging his claws into his palms. How careless. What would Rin think if she could see him now?

Sesshomaru knew her reaction would not be kind.

Demons were not gentle creatures by nature, and hardly kind-hearted. Even the little fox kit his half-brother dragged around, for as sweet as he seemed, had an evil streak inside his blood. Furthermore, males across species could be harsh lovers, if given the opportunity. Sesshomaru had not seen the true extent of Rin's injuries, but it had been conveyed to him through the whisperings and mutterings of those attending the girl that she was brutalized in all ways possible.

_Bruises in the shape of fingers…bite marks on the left breast…skin rubbed raw…dislocated joints…_

"_You really missed out on something here, old boy," Shouji sneered. Then he leaned in closer. "Confidentially, she's the best I've ever had," he taunted._

Rin had very little about her life that she could claim legitimately as "hers." Her breath, her food, her clothes, her home, her education, her pet, and her future all originated from Sesshomaru in one way or another. For all intensive purposes, there were really only two things Rin truly owned of herself: her emotions, and her body. Consequently, where there was one, the other would always follow shortly.

Sesshomaru had robbed her of one, and Shouji the other. In defiance she took back those which should have always been hers to begin with, and destroyed them so no one, including herself, could ever have them again.

He had convinced her to try again. He promised it would be different. She could have a chance at her own _life_. But there was no escaping her past. It would haunt her no matter what she did. Sesshomaru could give her a chance to start over anew, but he couldn't erase what had already happened.

And now any man vying for her affections would have to compete with these ghosts. Her lovers would all be seen through a veil—no, a shroud—that Shouji had sadistically blinded her eyes with.

This was yet one more reason why Sesshomaru could not love her, at least in the way that she loved him. He'd be lying to himself if he said he didn't _think_ about possibly loving her like that. Rin was by all standards and practices a very fine woman, and would undoubtedly make a very good wife. She deserved _better_ than a demon, not in the least implying that demon males were inferior to human males. A demon male would not be able to fully appreciate the prism of Rin's heart, nor would he understand her more intimate needs. But there was little hope on her behalf when looking at what the human side had to offer. Izayaoi, Inuyasha's mother, could have had any man of her choosing as a husband because of her noble blood. She rejected her species entirely in spite of this freedom, and chose to love a demon.

In fact, Izayaoi was a prime example of why demons and humans should not become romantically involved. From what Sesshomaru had gathered, she was outcast from her family, though she did retain a small portion of her wealth. Though she was seen as base and low for bedding with the Inu no Taisho, her family was not about to disgrace themselves further by making a peasant out of one of their own. Meanwhile, the Inu no Taisho was shunned by the inner circles of demon society, and eventually targeted as an item of conquest merely because of his taste in women. To crown this grand disaster, their legacy was forged in the mingling of their bloods, creating an abominable and wretched half-demon spawn. They were the lucky ones; most half-demons did not survive infancy, if they didn't kill their human mother first. If they did manage to live, usually they were not without some kind of physical deformity. Inuyasha was more dog than dog demon if he was anything at all.

The Western Lands had fallen prey to a star-crossed love affair once. Sesshomaru was not about to throw caution to the wind and expect the same to not happen again. He could not do that to himself, or to Rin. He could not allow her to stay.

The girl stirred slightly and Sesshomaru held his breath. Rin had rolled onto her side and curled into herself. Her face looked troubled at first, but then she seemed to settle in and relaxed with a heavy sigh. He listened as her breathing fell back into its shallow rhythm once again before he finally exhaled for himself.

A strange desire twitched in Sesshomaru's left hand, and he gritted his teeth against it. His fingers practically buzzed with the need to brush Rin's hair from her face. After all, it was resting rather heavily on her cheek and totally obscuring one of her eyes. It was a true pity that her pretty face could not be seen in its whole scope. But such an intimate gesture was intimidating. He had just talked himself out of this kind of behavior towards Rin, and now two seconds later here he was considering the very opposite. He truly was weak then if he could not control himself.

Another small sigh from Rin brought her hair further down and over half of her face. Now he could only see the bridge of her nose and one closed eye. Sesshomaru narrowed his gaze. Surely she could not be breathing comfortably with this obstruction over her mouth. Technically he _was_ supposed to look out for her well-being, and this _could_ constitute enough to be considered along that vein. The dog demon swallowed, and then gingerly reached forward.

His claws met with her dry, brittle hair and he froze. Rin was much sicker than she appeared. He knew she was weak, but not _this_ weak. Tomorrow morning he would have her attendants work on fortifying the pitiful gruel they fed her. And perhaps a bath. Rin could be carried to the bath house with Takako, and have a nice soak in the warm water. She always liked her baths before. Perhaps he could see about rummaging up some of that cherry soap she used.

Carefully, Sesshomaru pushed back Rin's hair until it fell behind her neck and settled. Satisfied, he decided to leave before he found himself tempted to coddle the girl any further. Rising from his spot on the floor, Sesshomaru stood and turned to go. A small sound stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Se…ssho…maru-sama," a voice squeaked weakly.

The dog demon whipped his head around to check on Rin. He had presumed her to be asleep; was she now awake? Was she upset with his actions? Or was she dreaming and muttering utter nonsense?

"Don't go," Rin begged in a tiny voice.

Sesshomaru clenched his teeth and straightened his spine. So she had been aware of his company. For how long and for what reason, he did not know and was not about to ask. She was still weak; he could hear it plainly in her voice. Risking the possibility of keeping her awake would not be prudent. Rin needed a great deal of rest before she could begin to heal.

And yet he found himself sitting back down, unable to deny her simple, foolish request.

The girl did not say anything in acknowledgement. Sesshomaru was not even sure Rin knew she had said anything to begin with. But she did nod her head once, and a genuine smile crept across her face, until it slowly faded. To his dismay, Sesshomaru found that the hardness he'd forced over his heart earlier was in pieces now. He could physically feel himself grow soft from looking at her. It was nearly dawn; usually he would have been gone much earlier than this. Tonight it was very difficult for him to leave. He just could not tear himself away from Rin's side. If he was to be seen in this compromising position by one of his servants, rumors would start destroying everything he'd worked so hard to rebuild.

Sesshomaru laughed quietly to himself. What were rumors in the grand scheme of things? He had been through much worse, and Rin was at his side because of it. Staying by her side was easy. Letting her go, when it came time to, was the only thing that might destroy him.

_Let them find me_, he thought. Tonight, he would start keeping his promises. He couldn't lose her again. If tomorrow he found that his empire had gone, it wouldn't really matter.

Losing her once had shown him how life was not worth living without her.

Rin slept on, oblivious to Sesshomaru's torment. He watched her peaceful face, and envied whatever dreams she was having. He couldn't sleep if he had wanted to, anyway; he was afraid to. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw her. Each vision was the same: his head in her lap, her hand on his face. And then she smiled.

Sesshomaru swallowed noisily as he struggled to erase her from his thoughts. "Rin," he whispered, "what have you done to me?"

And in his mind he heard her reply: _Nothing that you didn't already want._

888888888

A/N: I forgot to mention something in my last notes: the scene last chapter where Sesshomaru wakes up in Hell after having water dumped on his head is straight from the manga. When little Rin finds the wounded Sesshomaru in the woods after he fought with Inuyasha, she walks right up to him and dumps a flask of water on his head. The picture is absolutely priceless. It's a pity they cut that out of the anime. I had to steal it. I got Botan a copy of the manga volume with that picture for Christmas, because it also has the first appearance of her skirt-wearing, woman claiming, useless sword toting hero Kouga!

Onto more important matters. Like how much I love Kouga (even though he wears a skirt). It was an exciting feeling when I sat down to start outlining this chapter, and realized that I HAD to bring Kouga in. He is such a fun character, because he's got a quiet sort of angst underneath the potty mouth and fur leg warmers.

Golly, only two chapters left. I'm getting a little sad. It doesn't help that Botan keeps reminding me that "we're getting close to the end" each time we talk about this fic. I can always relive the glory days by revising.


	10. Chapter 10

The Pearl 

Disclaimer: Enough already! I got nothin', I tells ya!

_Some women love_

_to wait_

_for life for a ring_

_in the June light for a touch_

_of the sun to heal them for another_

_woman's voice to make them whole_

_to untie their hands_

_put words in their mouths_

_form to their passages sound_

_to their screams for some other sleeper_

_to remember their future their past._

--Audre Lorde, _Stations_

_It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife._ --Jane Austen, _Pride and Prejudice_

8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8

"Sesshomaru-sama?"

Takako's voice echoed through Sesshomaru's bedroom. The dog demon did not bother to turn around; he continued to lean out of his window and look up at the night sky. How familiar this setting was. He had changed into nothing but a pair of white linen pants in preparation for bed, but he could not allow himself to go to sleep. It wasn't until his head was out the window that he realized how similar his current setting was to one unfortunate night over a month ago.

Things would be different though. He had to respect her. She had gone through a great deal of pain and torture on the behalf of her lord. Rin had survived death even, and she was becoming stronger by the day. Sesshomaru knew he could not have been as courageous as Rin if their roles had been switched. If it had been him, he would have killed everyone that dared to oppose him. That was not courage though. Courage is bearing through a time of suffering, even though chances of survival are slim. In that aspect, Rin was much stronger than Sesshomaru. The balance of power had shifted between them. He would have to treat her with the prestige she deserved. Yet no matter what he changed now, Rin still would have been violated, and he still would have betrayed her. She suffered an impossible cost for her bravery, and he had been the one to enforce it upon her.

She paid the price for his dreams to come true, but instead he had earned a nightmare.

The demon craned his neck and strained his muscles. The small shock of pain felt good. _No moon_, he thought bemusedly. _How unfortunate. The moonlight on her hair would have made everything perfect_.

Takako boldly stepped into the Western lord's chambers unbidden. Her news could not wait for his manners.

"Rin is feeling much better," the demoness began, "and she is well on her way to making a fast recovery."

Sesshomaru gave no acknowledgement. It wasn't because he was arrogant. He just did not want to hear any more words on the matter. He didn't want to know. Not yet.

"She has made her wishes very clear, my lord," Takako continued. "She realizes she is in no state to move around very much, but she will be on her feet soon enough. Rin has decided that she will stay until she is fully recuperated. But she is not sure where she wants to go after that."

_Destination or no, she will be leaving then. _The demon lord sighed gently and bowed his head. "And?" he murmured.

Takako straightened her posture and swallowed. "And," she growled, "she has given her ultimatum. Where she may go is unclear, but there is one condition that must be held certain."

Sesshomaru held his breath and closed his eyes.

"There is never to be another pearl."

_So_, the dog demon thought bitterly, _Rin still detests her life that much. Even if she does decide to stay, her life will be over soon enough._

The demoness smiled bitterly. "Are you agreeable with this, my lord?" she asked.

"If it is truly what Rin wishes for," Sesshomaru answered calmly.

Takako flinched. She hated the insolent whelp for the things he had done to Rin, but right now she hated him more for not putting up a fight. If anyone could convince the girl to stay, it was Sesshomaru. He seemed ambivalent towards the situation. Rin was issuing a death sentence for herself; she felt she had suffered enough for one lifetime. There was no doubt her intentions were meant to throw everything Sesshomaru had done for her back in his face. He deserved it. But Rin's death would not wound the Western lord alone; there were many other people who cared for her and wanted her to stay. It wasn't enough though, and it never would be. No matter how much Takako, or Kyoshii, or Jaken loved Rin, she loved Sesshomaru more. To spend eternity in unrequited love was a fate worse than death.

"Rin has asked to see you tomorrow," Takako snapped.

Sesshomaru gave no answer. He didn't need one; Takako knew that he would not deny the girl of what she wanted, whether _he_ wanted to or not.

The demoness clenched and unclenched her fists. _You stubborn ass_, she growled in her mind, _why won't you do something about this?_

Takako cleared her throat and her thoughts. "Will you be coming tonight?" she grumbled.

Sesshomaru cracked a wry smile. "Of course."

The dog demoness gave a polite bow, and then left. Sesshomaru gritted his teeth. What was he going to say to Rin when he saw her? It would be much easier on the both of them if she left without ever seeing him at all.

The frightening truth was that, without Rin's love, Sesshomaru was nothing. But she did not know this, and he was not going to tell her. He had a difficult enough time admitting it to himself.

Sesshomaru had woken up in a cold sweat the night before when he realized this harsh reality. He was nothing. Anyone could run an empire. Anyone could take it away. And as the world rose and fell, and all those who trembled at the sound of his name died, Sesshomaru would be forgotten. No one would be able to remember him. He would be the only one who knew he had ever existed. No one could ever match his power, and he had absolutely no intention of dying. He was destined to be alone, but not if Rin was by his side.

Sesshomaru could not bring himself to be that selfish anymore. He couldn't make her stay, and he didn't want to. He wanted Rin to be Rin, and he wanted her to love him again. He wanted her to be happy, and he wanted to be happy with her. She was not a mere life-line to immortality; he cared too much for her to treat her like that. Sesshomaru wanted Rin for himself, but for reasons he was not prepared to admit.

Ever since she had come into his life, Sesshomaru had been strong. Now he realized it was only because she had been there to support him through every pitfall in her own quiet way. She had never doubted him, and during those years he had never once doubted in himself. He could be impulsive, or ruthless, or irrational, and Rin could always see his inner turmoil. She knew his reasons for not killing Kohaku, as much as he had wanted to. She understood his regret in not being able to save Kagura. She was not surprised by his laughter after the death of Naraku, and all of the fighters were sitting in the grass, exhausted and roaring with nervous energy. Rin had known his inner workings even from the day they had met. His body had taken a severe beating, but it was his pride that needed tending to.

Still, this was not anything terribly impressive. Rin had always understood his feelings towards other things in the world. Neither of them had really understood the feelings he had for her. This was the one thing that was not talked about by either of them. Obviously Rin could not know what was going through his heart and mind now. It was a difficult task, but he had to make her understand. If he didn't, then she would surely leave. Sesshomaru had to find a way to tell Rin that he was only as strong as her love for him.

888888888

It had taken her a little over a month to get back on her feet again. Takako and Jaken had persuaded her to stay until she was fully healed, and Rin agreed. She still had not made up her mind as to whether or not she would leave the Western palace, but her state of health gave her time to consider. Rin had made it very clear to herself that things would have to change if she was going to stay; her ultimatum left part of that decision up to Sesshomaru. He could not impose his will on her decisions; not anymore. She had set one rule down on the floor between them: history would not be allowed to repeat itself. Rin's life was her own. She wanted to die, and remain dead, when her time came. This was the only reason she wasn't afraid to follow Sesshomaru out of Hell.

Even so, it did not out-weigh the fear she had of loving him still. In spite of everything that had happened, Rin still loved Sesshomaru, and Sesshomaru still did not love Rin.

Wait. No, that wasn't entirely true. Sesshomaru still did not know _if_ he loved her.

Rin had fought and killed her way into her identity during her past life. Nothing else mattered as long as she knew where she stood in Sesshomaru-sama's empire; she was whom he said she was. Now that she was starting over, there was no reason to subject herself to that kind of suffering again. She could make her own terms. She did not have to be any part of Sesshomaru's empire or Sesshomaru's life if she didn't want to. But there was her problem. Rin had no idea what she wanted, except for the one thing she couldn't have. _That_ was entirely out of her control.

It was pathetic, and frustrating, and there wasn't a thing she could do about it. For as much as she despised him, and as much as she still hurt from his betrayal, Rin loved him as well. True, it wasn't the same kind of love that she had felt before; this wasn't some girlish crush, or blind adoration. She loved him because there was a part inside of her heart that had been created for the sole purpose of loving Sesshomaru. He needed it. She needed to give it to him. Rin hated to admit it, and hated even more that she couldn't stop this part from working. He had never asked for her love and never reciprocated it. Why did she still care?

He _had_ acknowledged her love. When she had asked him that heart-wrenching question, Rin placed every single shard of hope upon a ledge and waited. Sesshomaru's answer sent all but a few of those pieces tumbling back to the floor, where they shattered even further. Rin couldn't decide what was worse: knowing definitively that he would never love her, or not knowing anything at all.

Every morning Rin woke up and asked herself, "Is staying really worth it?" During the day she searched for her reason. Every night she went to sleep satisfied; but it was never enough to keep her from waking up the next morning and starting the process over again. This was because she always managed to come up with the same reason every day, and she refused to let it drive her. It was ignored, and some other reason had to take its place. If she didn't do this, things would be dangerously close to falling back into the way they had been. She had loved him then, and he grew strong from her strength and sacrifice. He lived, and she died.

Their relationship had to change, and they both knew it. Everything depended on this.

888888888

He felt like she had caught him picking his teeth, or making rude faces, or adjusting himself.

"You do have two hands, you know," she snickered.

Sesshomaru looked down and found himself tying his armor on with his right hand while his left hung limply at his side. Old habits died hard.

Rin felt a great weight leave her chest with each note of her laughter. It had been so long since she had a reason to be happy. Suddenly she was finding little, insignificant things to be wonderful. Each morning when she opened her eyes, she _opened_ her eyes to another day of life; no detail escaped her perception. She wasn't afraid to make her observations known either.

"You're not taking Aun?" Rin asked amusedly.

It was Rin's first time out of the castle. She was eager to ride again, and she jumped at the opportunity as soon as it came. Still, she was not as strong as she would have liked, and would not be able to last very long on horseback. It was also unsafe for her to leave the palace alone still. Though matters had been settled officially, the East and South warily kept their eyes on the West for any signs of Sesshomaru's dishonesty.

The dog demon did not break his mask of boredom. "It is not necessary," he deadpanned. "This is for your benefit."

The girl nodded, hearing the words Sesshomaru was too stoic to say. Kado was not fond of the two-headed dragon, and would not take kindly to its presence. The dog demon did not want to appear considerate of the horse; his intent was for Rin to have a pleasant outing and he wanted nothing to interfere. Still, it felt odd to Rin that he was coming with her at all. It seemed like Sesshomaru was planning on escorting her on foot. The scenario was quite different from anything she had seen him do before. But then again, a lot of things seemed different about him now.

"Are you ready?" he asked, cinching the last strap of his armor.

Rin nodded. "I just need to put a bridle on Kado," she hummed cheerily. Today she would ride bareback, but only because she was too weak to put the saddle on herself. She was also too proud to ask for help. After all, it had taken her nearly two days to convince everyone she was well enough to go on this outing. This meant the world to her. Her heart was nearly bursting with excitement.

"Race you!" Rin shouted, tearing out and away from the front gate. Kado burst into a strong canter, still stiff but eager to expend all of the energy he'd been forced to save.

Sesshomaru lunged forward. It felt like she had torn a hole in his chest as she ran away. Part of him did not want to catch her, because he knew he would still have to let her go.

Rin looked back sadly. If he had only followed her the last time she tore away from the castle, things would have been different. She soberly realized however, that just because things would be different did not mean things would have changed. They were changing now. There was still hope.

888

It had been ages since he had just taken off in a run. His demonic strength was thrumming beneath the surface of his skin, begging to be released in full. For now, he had to content himself to keeping pace with Kado. But it still felt _good_ to have the wind streaming across his face and through his hair. The sun shone much brighter, and the trees and grass looked much greener when running, he noticed. Everything about this day was alive in all of his senses.

Sesshomaru glanced side-long at Rin just to check on how she was doing. Normally she would talk to her horse as they rode, but she had been quiet ever since they left the palace gates. Was it because he was there? It wasn't like he hadn't heard her do it before.

But when Rin met his gaze with a gleam in her eyes and a crooked grin, Sesshomaru knew why she had been holding back. A quick cluck from her tongue and Kado broke into a full gallop, speeding past their escort. The dog demon smirked. He could play along with this.

Kado was responding beautifully and seemed to be drawing energy from the playful spirit of his mistress. He had obviously missed Rin, and he had probably been neglected during the whole time she was gone as well. She promised herself to make it up to him with whatever rare, special treat she could round up. Truthfully, she also wanted to spend a night in the stable with her horse, but she wasn't sure how well that would go over with Takako and Jaken. Sesshomaru probably wouldn't have noticed.

And speaking of Sesshomaru…

He was _smiling_. Rin could see his fangs poking out from his lips while his mouth curved and stretched across his face. In all of her years traveling with the demon lord, she had never seen him smile like _this_. He looked so young; in fact, he looked like a boy about her age.

Her heart fluttered softly, and Rin did her best to ignore it. _Don't think about that sort of thing now_, she silently begged of herself. _Think about how you're going to beat him_.

Kado seemed to be of the same mind-set, and jumped into her strategy unbidden. A copse of trees ahead gave horse and rider an advantage over a mere runner. Two sets of eyes sharply watching for obstacles are much better than only one. Without warning, they ducked into the tree-line and disappeared into the forest.

The dog demon did not take the bait offered. Rin would probably call him down later for cheating , but it didn't concern him in the least. With a powerful leap, Sesshomaru became airborne and flew over the small forest. Looking down he could see Rin and Kado making their way through the trees. In a moment she would be out in the open again. There had been no formal naming of a finish line; it was understood that, when they reached it, they would just know.

She was laughing and he was smiling. And it had only taken them a betrayal, cruel and unusual torture, an enemy driven between them, and a journey to Hell and back to be able to do this with little reservation.

Their paces were matched; Sesshomaru made sure of it. The horse surfaced from the tree-line in a heavy gallop. Rin was talking to Kado now, bribing him with promises of food if he would just go faster. Both horse and rider were well aware of the demon flying over their heads, but Kado was not quite comfortable with it. Rin's legs were beginning to ache slightly from the deep shudders the horse between her legs was having.

"What's gotten into you?" Rin fussed.

From the corner of her eye, she could see Sesshomaru sinking closer to the ground. His feet had yet to touch earth, but he was skimming the surface in flight. It had been so long since she had seen him fly like _this_. Normally, he would lead Aun along, or just vanish in a blaze of light. He was racing now, pushing the line between his intangible energy force and his controlled mask. Everything about him was engulfed in a white blur, like a predatory cloud speeding along by her side.

The sudden impact of his boots against the dirt dissolved any dream-like qualities of his appearance. Sesshomaru immediately sprang into a pounding run, darting ahead of his competition. He'd let her have the lead for long enough.

Kado spooked. Startled by the unwelcome presence of a demon running at his side he squealed, and then jerked to a halt while rearing back. Rin immediately felt foolish for deciding not to use a saddle; while her grip on the reins was strong, her body was still too weak to hang on to a panicking horse. Her heart jumped into her throat as she felt herself begin to fall. She screamed.

Immediately Sesshomaru skidded into a sharp turn just in time to look back and see Rin's body pitch sideways from her horse. She landed on her front, rolled twice, and then stopped. Kado galloped off in the opposite direction, still hysterical from what just happened.

The world began to crumble apart. The forest and sky surrounding them were steadily cracking and falling down, leaving a nothingness in their places. Sesshomaru was filled with such an intense fear that it scared him even further. Every price he'd paid, every tear she'd shed, and everything they had sacrificed together to have this moment was now null and void. And all it took was a few seconds. Some random moment gone wrong was going to destroy everything they'd made.

_No. Not again._

"Rin!" Sesshomaru cried desperately. His voice sounded so childish and afraid, but there was no time to be embarrassed for it. _Move, damnit!_ he willed frantically. _Stop lying still and move!_

She could hear him call her name, but it sounded like he was speaking into a funnel. Rin blinked her eyes open and immediately regretted it. Her head felt like it was spinning, but her body felt even worse. Already she could tell where bruises were forming. Thankfully, she didn't feel like anything had been broken. The fall hadn't been that hard, but if she wasn't in such poor shape it wouldn't matter. Any injuries sustained now, no matter how inconsequential, would take time to heal. But there was no reason to panic; nothing vital had been hurt as far as she could tell. Carefully she began to push herself onto her elbows.

The flare of Sesshomaru's demonic aura was almost enough to knock her down again, but Rin managed to wobble just a little before regaining her balance. Painstakingly pushing herself into a sitting position, she uncurled her body upright and raised her head at last. She was greeted with wide, golden eyes mere centimeters from her face. Neither one of them blinked.

"I'm okay," she finally managed to say. "Just a little bruised. Can you help me up?"

Sesshomaru stared at the girl for a few moments longer before jumping to his feet and bending down to grasp both of Rin's elbows. Together they pulled her upright. The demon immediately drew closer once more, scenting for any wounds that might need attention.

_Just bruises_, he realized with no small degree of relief.

"Um," Rin gulped.

The close proximity they were sharing suddenly became glaringly apparent to Sesshomaru. Swallowing down his discomfort, he gently leaned back and looked down on the girl. But he still could not bring himself to let her go. Not yet. He'd almost lost her in an instant. Crazily, he feared that if he were to release his grip Rin would fall back to the ground, dead. She'd done that once already, and he had let her. Now he would not permit her the choice, though he knew it to be selfish of him. At this point, Sesshomaru was beyond caring, and beyond logic.

Rin smiled and laughed nervously. "Really, I'm okay," she reassured, her breathing heavy. "Kado just spooked when you landed. I guess he's never really trusted you," she said. Immediately she regretted it. Her face went pale and she tried not to let her mouth fall open when she watched for Sesshomaru's reaction.

The demon's eyes narrowed. After a moment, he gingerly released his hold on Rin's arms before turning on his heel and stalking off in the opposite direction.

He cracked his knuckles. _The horse will die._

"Sesshomaru-sama?" Rin squeaked. _Is he going where I think he's going?_

There was no reply, except for the quickening steps of a predator in pursuit of his prey. From off in the distance, Kado neighed plaintively.

"Sesshomaru!" Rin screamed, clenching her fists at her side. She had lost enough breath earlier in the fall that her lungs had not fully recovered. A coughing fit shook her chest. From her bleary eyes she could see that the demon had stopped and was turning around. She couldn't clearly discern his facial features, but she could plainly see that his eyes were red. This was only the second time she had addressed him without the honorific, and she hoped that fact was not lost on him.

"You will _not_ harm my horse!" Rin shouted, quite livid that he had considered the idea at all. "It wasn't his fault! If anyone's to blame it's you for being so reckless. Now leave him alone!"

Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow as he considered being told what to do. It was a new concept, and he quickly decided that he did not care much for it. Snorting indignantly, he jerked his head forward and began running.

"Please!" Rin screamed, tears beginning to spill from her eyes. "Don't hurt him!" She fell to her knees as she watched the dog demon disappear into the forest. Anxiously she listened for any sign of what could be happening. A terrified squeal and the sound of a tree falling were her answers. Heartbroken, Rin threw herself to the ground and began pounding her fists into the soft grass.

"No!" she wailed. "It's not fair! Why do you have to be so selfish! Why can't you just let me have something of my own!"

She didn't know how long she had been crying when a shadow fell upon her. Grimacing, she lifted an angry face up to greet Sesshomaru's return. But that face fell and was replaced by one of pure surprise. Sesshomaru was glaring down at her and holding out the reins to a quite skittish Kado. Quickly Rin wiped her cheeks clean as best as she could before standing up and taking the offering.

Once the reins were safely in the girl's hand, Sesshomaru grunted impatiently and took off once more for the trees. Rin watched him leave in shock before she recovered her senses and began inspecting Kado for any injuries. Other than being scared witless, the horse was fine. Thankful beyond all measure, Rin threw her arms about her friend's neck and allowed herself to cry happy tears for a moment or two. Kado relaxed considerably and affectionately nibbled on Rin's shoulder and hair. After both girl and horse were thoroughly reassured of the well-being of one another, Rin climbed back onto Kado and began waiting for Sesshomaru.

Just when she was starting to wonder if he'd left her all alone and began to consider heading back, Sesshomaru appeared. He was walking very slowly towards them, seemingly more composed, with his hands tucked into his sleeves. Rin blushed, ashamed of what she had said earlier. How quick she had been to hate him! And she had been incredibly inconsiderate of _his_ feelings. He must have felt awful indeed to watch her fall like he did, helpless to reach her in time. Rin whimpered when she fully realized just how horribly she had treated Sesshomaru. It wasn't any wonder he'd acted like that.

When she lifted her head he was at her side, glaring at her from the corner of his eye. Rin smiled weakly, but could not mask the sorrow and remorse she was feeling. Before she could open her mouth to say anything, Sesshomaru looked away and took one step forward. Removing his hand from his sleeves, he reached over and began slipping the reins over Kado's head.

Rin did her best not to gasp, but could not hide all of her surprise. The demon's claws were dirty with bloodstains. Brown splotches mottled his hand to a little past the stripes on his wrist. Something had been killed. Kado, apparently seeing the same thing, nickered and pawed the ground.

But Sesshomaru paid the horse no mind. He merely yanked down on the reins and began walking forward, leading both the horse and Rin back home.

888888888

"But I said such terrible things, Takako-san!" Rin insisted. "He hasn't talked to me all day. I think I actually hurt his feelings."

The demoness nearly choked on her tea. The statement itself was hilarious enough, but Rin's delivery made it even more so. The girl was just sitting there with a blank expression on her face, seriously considering how her words might be true. Why, she almost seemed remorseful about it.

"Please, Rin-chan," Takako laughed, "don't be so hard on yourself. Sesshomaru doesn't get his feelings hurt. Only his ego is wounded from time to time; he's just throwing a little temper tantrum right now."

"Really?" Rin asked incredulously. "Because I've seen him like this before, but it just doesn't seem like other times I can remember." She held her teacup to her mouth but did not drink; her mind was wandering through her memories of times spent with Sesshomaru. _To hurt his feelings he would have to have them to begin with_, she realized sourly. _What is making you so sure that he has feelings towards you?_

Takako shook her head and patted the girl's knee reassuringly. "He's fine. I've called him far worse things than selfish, and he doesn't care."

_Yes,_ Rin thought, _but you're not playing some weird game with him where you're both trying to figure out where you stand with one another. I'm probably worse off than when I started._

"In any case," the dog demoness hurried to add, "if you feel so uncomfortable why don't you just talk to him?"

This time, Rin choked. "You're not serious?" she coughed.

Takako raised her eyebrow and nodded. "Why shouldn't I be? He'll listen to you."

"That may be," the girl twitched, "but I don't want to just apologize to Sesshomaru-sama. I know he'll listen to _that_. How do I have a conversation with him afterwards though? 'I'm sorry I said those horrible things. Nice weather today though'?"

"The same way you always have," Takako scoffed. _Honestly, you're acting like this is so difficult._

_But it's different now!_ Rin silently insisted. _He's treating me differently and I'm not sure if I like it. I'm not sure of what I am to him anymore._

The girl sighed and looked down into her tea. After nearly a month of plain green tea, Rin was quite tired of the drink. Today, she had infused the tea with cherry blossoms, giving it a sweet aroma and delicate flavor. One more meal of miso soup with green tea was going to make her sick to her stomach. This evening was going to be her first solid meal since she had come back home, and she was greatly looking forward to it. But she was supposed to have dinner with Sesshomaru, and now he wasn't talking to her. The meal would be quite awkward if things didn't change. Perhaps she should go and say something. At least it would break some of the tension.

There had certainly been no lack of friction between the demon and the girl these days. While Rin was back on her feet, she still was not well enough to decide what direction she wanted to trust her fate to. Meanwhile, Sesshomaru was making a concerted effort to spend more time with her. Truthfully she had thought him to be joking when he said he would accompany her on her morning ride. She knew she wasn't supposed to leave the palace alone as a safety precaution, but Rin thought Jaken would be assigned to shadow her around. Sesshomaru was spending more and more time with her, leaving Rin to wonder why. For as much as it was confusing her, she still didn't want it to stop. It felt…nice, in an odd sort of way. For the first time she felt like she could look upon the person she had spent the majority of her life with as a friend. True, he didn't confide in her like Takako, and he didn't banter with her like Jaken, but he had his own way of going about their relationship that allowed Rin to feel a new kind of closeness. It was almost as if he…

"I'll try to say something," the girl moped. "I just hope I can find him; when he gets in these moods he can make himself invisible."

Takako quirked her mouth to the side. The girl was making excuses, and she was not about to let that stand. "He's sulking in his library," she bluntly informed Rin. "Kyoshii saw him pouring diligently over some obscure scroll. He's always been a moody reader."

Rin sighed in defeat. "I'll go when we've finished our tea," she hastily declared.

The demoness smirked. "Of course."

888

"Sesshomaru-sama?"

Poking his head out from behind the scroll he was pretending to examine, Sesshomaru saw Rin timidly standing in the doorway. His stomach did an embarrassing flip-flop, which translated onto his face as a rather annoyed scowl.

Rin began withering under the demon's glare. He had not said anything to her, so she could not determine what kind of mood he was in exactly. Silence did not always mean disgruntlement, but it usually wasn't a good sign all the same.

"May I come in?" Rin squeaked.

Sesshomaru curtly nodded, and pinned the girl with his eyes as she shuffled across the room to sit at the other side of his table. He blinked once, curious to see what she would do next. This had been the first time she had sought out his company on her own, and he wasn't quite sure what it meant. From the looks of things, it did not bode well, considering how nervous she was.

The girl cleared her throat. "Whatareyoureading?" she mumbled.

"Excuse me?"

"Sorry," Rin muttered, and then cleared her throat again. "I asked, what are you reading?" she repeated in a steady, even voice.

Sesshomaru twisted his eyebrows in confusion. He watched Rin's eyes dart back and forth from something in the room back to him. Curious, he followed her gaze and found that he was apparently reading a scroll about some war his great-uncle twice removed had fought countless centuries ago. Very inconsequential, and hardly engaging. Before Rin showed up at the door, Sesshomaru had seriously been considering reading the backs of his eyelids.

"Poetry," he lied, immediately regretting it. Out of all the subject matters to choose from, he had stupidly picked the one thing that he knew practically nothing about. And, he suspected fearfully, the only reason why he had picked it was because he was subconsciously trying to impress Rin.

_Bloody ego_, he grumbled.

"Poetry," Rin repeated thoughtfully.

"Yes," Sesshomaru lied again.

"Hm."

She decided to humor him. Quite obviously he was making things up, but she wasn't sure why. Maybe he was making fun of her. Maybe he was trying to intimidate her. Whatever the reason, it seemed he did not wish to be bothered.

But Rin had worked so hard in building up her courage that she wasn't about to give in just yet.

"I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed this morning," she began shakily. "I had been looking forward to that all week, so thank you."

Sesshomaru snorted and raised an eyebrow.

"And," Rin continued, looking down with embarrassment, "I wanted to apologize, for all the mean things I said to you."

Every muscle in Sesshomaru's jaw slackened, and it was all he could do to keep his mouth from falling open.

Rin swallowed nervously. She wasn't feeling too sure of the look on Sesshomaru's face. Perhaps she had chosen a really bad time to come and talk to him.

"I didn't mean them like they came out," she stammered, trying to dig herself out a little. "I was just scared, and blurted stuff, and I'm sorry if I sounded mean." Her hands were trembling on the table, and she knew her face was bright red. _Superb_, she thought bitterly.

Sesshomaru gave a mocking laugh. "You have no need to apologize," he scoffed. "This Sesshomaru has heard worse. It is of no matter."

"Yes it is!" Rin insisted. "It matters because I've never said anything like that to you and I feel terrible for doing it."

The dog demon blinked in disbelief, and felt his lips slightly part. He closed his jaw with a loud click of his teeth. This was definitely a first. Truthfully, Rin's words had stung, but he had quickly blamed them on the heat of the moment and moved on. He knew she could have meant them, but it was much easier for him to deny that. Now she was giving him proof positive that she had been merely acting out. It was nothing more than a temperamental outburst.

"You still did not need to apologize," he sniffed haughtily. With that said, he jerked his head sideways and tipped up his nose.

Once again, his body was betraying his mind. What he had really meant to say had a subtle compliment laced in with a gracious acknowledgment, and then he would nod and she would nod and everything would be right between them. Why was his body always trying to make things worse?

"I'm glad to see you're _fine_," Rin spat angrily. She rose to her feet and made her way to the door. "Good day," she snapped. _And see if I go out of my way to be nice to you again._

"Wait."

The girl halted in her tracks. Normally, this command would be issued with a bark of authority, and then she would whirl around and squeal, "Yes, Sesshomaru-sama!" and he would do what he wanted. Things had changed though, and Rin certainly was not going to passively respond to such a stern demand. He had no real power over her anymore.

Except his voice had been soft. It was like he was asking a favor of her, and fully expected her to decline anyway. Rin couldn't ignore it. Slowly, she turned her face around to glare at Sesshomaru; she wasn't sure of what he would say, and she needed the mean look for early self-defense.

"Please sit," he asked softly again, gesturing his hand to the empty spot in front of him.

Slowly, she walked back to the other side of the table. Rin stood still for a moment and debated her options before she began sinking back down to the floor. Once she was settled, she calmly smoothed out her clothes and waited for Sesshomaru to speak.

The demon pinched the bridge of his nose. "Apology accepted," he murmured.

When Rin did not answer, he removed his hand and looked up with wide eyes. He was met with an equally curious gaze.

It had taken a great deal of humility on his part to say what he did, Rin knew. Now he was waiting on her sign as to how their exchange would continue. He wasn't dismissing her, he wasn't trying to rationalize his words to make them meaningless, and he wasn't making a face. Sesshomaru was just looking at her.

_Say something!_ Rin screamed at herself. Her jaw trembled, but no sound vibrated in her throat. All she could do was reel in the shock of Sesshomaru's behavior.

His eyes wandered. If she was just going to sit still and not say anything, then he might as well occupy his mind somehow. Her skin had gotten its color back a few days ago, but she was still a little pale. She had also managed a good night's sleep the night before, and did not have dark circles under her eyes like usual. The stitches had been removed and there was a visible scar, but you had to know what you were looking for in order to see it. All in all, she was recovering quite nicely; the spill she had taken that morning seemed to be nothing more than a minor tumble.

She had her hair up in a very flattering twist. Granted it was a bit more elaborate than he was used to seeing on Rin, but Sesshomaru decided it was rather nice to look at. It was strange, but somehow she seemed more like a female to him than she used to. It was probably because she wasn't parading around in her training uniform. It pleased him also to see that she was wearing one of the new kimonos he'd had made for her. Though he didn't design them, he did approve of the final products before presenting them to Rin. She had seemed lukewarm in her initial reception of the kimonos, but this was definitive proof that she liked at least one. It was rather uncanny too; this particular robe was probably Sesshomaru's favorite out of them all. Not that he considered himself an authority on women's clothes, but he did know something beautiful when he saw it.

_Yes._ She was beautiful, wasn't she?

Rin cleared her throat, startling Sesshomaru out of his troublesome line of thought. And just in the nick of time too; he was dangerously close to wondering what her hair smelled like.

_Wait—never mind. Milk._

"Where did you go?" Rin asked in a sly tone. She was smirking at him, genuinely amused that he had lost all track of himself momentarily.

"Nowhere," he snorted in defiance.

The girl gave a melodic laugh, and the demon watched how the muscles in her neck rippled under her smooth, pale skin. _Milk and honey._

"Was it nice there?" Rin teased, blinking her eyes sweetly. She leaned forward slightly in an attempt to intimidate him. Instead, Sesshomaru could feel himself relax, as if he was engaging in witty banter with a very old friend. It was his turn to answer.

"Yes," he said with a smirk, "I believe it was."

Rin nodded her head in approval, pleased that Sesshomaru had decided to play along. _I do believe that was the most awkward moment I've ever experienced in my life,_ she thought nervously.

"Just don't get lost and forget to come to dinner," Rin sighed as she stood up. "I need to rest, so I will leave you to your affairs."

The demon furrowed his eyebrows. "Poetry," he sniffed. "I was reading poetry."

"Ah, how silly of me," the girl replied. She walked over to the doorway where she paused and looked back over her shoulder at Sesshomaru. "Thank you for your time," she said, blushing.

The sudden rush of blood to her cheeks was not due to what she had said, but what she had seen. Sesshomaru was staring at her again, but his eyes were moving, looking her up and down. He had not once looked at her face.

Finally, Sesshomaru smiled mysteriously. "My pleasure," he murmured, then turned back to his reading.

Rin could feel her heart pounding in her chest as she walked down the hall. If she hadn't known better, she would have sworn Sesshomaru was _admiring_ her. Which was silly, of course. She was making foolish inferences. Still…

A small part of Rin allowed herself to believe her little fantasy. After all, what harm was there in such a thing? And it made her feel good—no, _pretty._ It made her feel pretty.

_Maybe_, she thought, _I should wear something a bit nicer to dinner._

From inside his study, Sesshomaru shook his head with embarrassment. What had come over him? Did he just _leer_ at Rin?

And did she just _blush_?

_Maybe_, he thought, _I should try reading an actual poem._

888888888

Rin chewed slowly on her food, savoring the flavor. It was just rice and sour beef, but _oh_, it had been so long since she had tasted such a meal! She was finding out that food tasted better without the pearl there, because she was hungry enough to enjoy it. After a few bites she grew impatient with herself and began scooping large servings into her mouth to chew on contentedly. Her cheeks puffed out, and she was making happy noises every once in a while, but she honestly didn't care. All of this felt _so_ good.

Sesshomaru watched the girl from the corner of his eye. Normally, she would talk to him during meals, or stare at him dumbly as she watched him eat. But she seemed completely engrossed in her own affairs, like she was in her own little world. It saddened him slightly to be shut out so completely in favor of such a little thing as food. She had reassured him that she was sorry for her behavior that morning, and that she did not hold any ill will towards him. It didn't appear as if she was mad at him right now anyway. He knew it had been some time since she had eaten a decent meal. This was her first official solid food since she had come home, and he knew Shouji had fed her next to nothing before that.

_And now the arrogant bastard is food for the vultures,_ he thought with no small measure of satisfaction.

She was making little noises while she ate. She had never done this before. It sounded as though she was very happy just sitting there and eating. Again, a swell of sadness crested in Sesshomaru's heart. He had thought Rin made those kinds of noises only when picking flowers, which was something he knew she had enjoyed doing before she met him. He had come to terms with that. But now, eating seemed to rank up there with flower picking as "things Rin enjoys more than being with Sesshomaru." And then there was the damnable horse. It just wasn't fair. He was trying his best.

For all intents and purposes, Rin had completely zoned herself into a small corner of the universe where only she and her bowls of beef and rice existed. And the more time she spent there, the more food she kept packing into her mouth. Even Jaken was watching her with wide eyes. This undignified behavior was not characteristic of the Rin he knew. Was the beef really that good? The imp had thought it to be rather dry.

Suddenly, Rin felt a clump of rice stick to the side of her throat. She panicked slightly, knowing if she gagged she risked spitting out the wad of food in her mouth. That would be quite disgusting. Working as best as she could to swallow the bulk of what was in her mouth down, Rin then allowed herself a small cough to help dislodge the errant scrap. Satisfied that it had become loose, she then grabbed her cup of tea and took a big swallow to help everything go down better. _Slow down girl_, she chided,_ you almost embarrassed yourself back there._

Sesshomaru frowned. Rin had nearly choked on the undignified mound of food she was rolling about her mouth, and it would have served her right. What else could one expect when trying to consume a bowl of food in one swallow? But his sense of justice quickly soured when he began to realize the consequences of Rin choking. She could have choked on a slice of beef right there, and died. In fact, even though she was taking smaller bites now, she _still_ could choke on a piece of food and die. And there would be nothing he could do to stop it.

The room quickly became a death-trap around her. Today had been an eye-opening experience for him in regards to the hazards of everyday existence. She could trip and fall, hit her head on the floor, and crack open her skull. She could drop one of her bowls, and the shards of porcelain could slice her feet and she would bleed to death. She could merely catch some sickness that might be floating about in the air that no one in the house knew of because they were all impervious to it. Rin transformed before his eyes; gone was the resilient soldier and in her place a fragile human.

Rin held a lone piece of beef before her lips, readying her mouth to open and take the food in. _She could choke on that meat _right now_, and die_, the dog demon realized angrily. He wanted to protect her—he'd sworn he would when she was in Hell. But he couldn't very well tell her to never eat again.

The girl had the distinct feeling that she was being watched. At first, she did her best to ignore it, but it soon became quite annoying. Chancing a glance at Sesshomaru, she nearly gasped in shock at the face he was sporting. It looked as though he was watching someone get butchered, if he were squeamish about that sort of thing. Of course he wasn't, but his face was quite pale with a mix of disgust and disbelief. His eyes had totally glazed over, signaling that he was lost in thought somewhere far away.

_What's got him so worked up?_ she wondered incredulously. _I thought he liked sour beef._

Snapping back to reality, Sesshomaru quickly found himself eye to eye with the girl whose very life hung on a delicate thread of the universe's whim. She blinked, raised an eyebrow, then blinked again. Apparently tired of searching for whatever answer she had been seeking, Rin returned to her meal with fresh energy.

If he didn't get a hold of himself, by breakfast tomorrow he was going to be a nervous wreck.

888888888

Sesshomaru was not trying to convince Rin to stay. He had decided that would be the wrong approach to the matter. She would make her own decision without his influence. However, he wanted to know which direction her opinion was swaying towards, and in order for that to happen he had to spend time with her.

And the more time he spent with her, the more reasons he found to spend more.

He had tried to take an interest in the things she liked to do. Talking was not something he was gifted at. Horseback riding did not go well. The only thing left was her love for flowers. More specifically, her love for the flowers in the corner of his courtyard where she had planted her garden.

Sesshomaru had scouted about for a specific tree since the day Rin had been strong enough to walk. It was rumored to have the most beautiful blossoms imaginable, but was incredibly rare due to the fact that it was a demonic tree. Such a plant would not thrive in the presence of a human settlement, and the growing human population was swiftly eliminating demonic trees of all kinds. After nearly two weeks of searching, he had successfully located a young Toriboku and had it quickly transported to the courtyard.

When Rin went to tend her garden that morning, she immediately noticed the new addition. Sesshomaru felt no small degree of satisfaction when he heard her appreciative gasp.

"What is this?" she asked breathlessly.

The dog demon took a step to stand beside the girl. "This is a Toriboku, and it is for you," he proudly answered.

"It's so beautiful," Rin gasped, placing her hands over her smiling mouth. It was a remarkable sight; Rin had never seen a tree like this in her entire life.

It was tall, but did not manage to clear the courtyard walls. The leaves were broad and long, like little boats, with a deep green color and a waxy sheen. The most amazing part was the flowers. The blossoms were different colors all blended together. Some of them were closed, presumably still budding; these were the ones that swirled with oranges, blues, reds, and purples. The mature flowers that had opened were glowing with large, white petals radiating from a black core. From what Rin could tell, the center of the flower was covered with tiny seeds.

The early morning birds were beginning to come out, a few of whom took perch in the branches of the new tree. Apparently the birds found the sapling appealing as a source of food, because they were soon pecking at the seeds in the flowers. Their songs echoed through the garden, making the scene positively pastoral.

Rin couldn't tear her eyes away. She knew it had to be a demon tree, for no ordinary tree in nature could be this beautiful. She was about to express her gushing gratitude to Sesshomaru when a sudden movement in the leaves caught her eye.

A small bird had landed on a twig directly in front of a blossom and was contentedly gathering its breakfast. Without warning, the blossom snapped itself around the bird, sending the animal into a state of panic. It tried vainly to flap its wings and escape, but the flower was steadily pulling the bird in farther. Rin watched, horrified, as the entire bird was consumed, leaving nothing behind but a few downy feathers floating in the air. The blossom curled tightly shut around its prey, and bled with color through its petals.

Sesshomaru smiled. "The tree feeds itself," he explained. "It requires little outside care, so it is easy to maintain. The colors you see are its natural poisons, which it uses to digest its food."

"Ah-ha," Rin answered shakily. She was still reeling from the shock of watching a blossom devour an entire bird within seconds. Sesshomaru had planted a bird-eating tree in his courtyard hoping that she would like it. While the gesture was touching, Rin wasn't sure if she would be comfortable going into the garden knowing the tree above her head was _feeding_ on live prey.

"Do you not like it?" Sesshomaru asked, puzzled. Rin had a strange look upon her face that he could not interpret. It appeared to be something between fear and giddy excitement.

"It's so lovely," Rin answered quickly, turning away from the tree and giving Sesshomaru a brave smile. "The colors really are quite amazing."

_There_, she thought, _that wasn't a lie. He can smell lies, so maybe he'll believe me. He doesn't need to know that every time I'm in the garden I'll be afraid to turn my back on that tree_. _I can't imagine Jaken being too comfortable around it either._

The dog demon raised an eyebrow as he contemplated the girl before him. She seemed genuine about her praise of his gift, but also nervous about something. Perhaps it was because she was uncomfortable receiving gifts from him. He'd hoped she would find his gesture to be endearing. Really, this whole process of establishing a relationship was new territory to him, and feedback from Rin was his only way of gauging his success. It was all so nerve-wracking, mainly because he had no idea where all this was leading him.

In the back of his mind, a part of him knew what could happen. Sesshomaru was quickly finding that he _liked_ that idea, but that wasn't the upsetting part. He liked it so much that he was losing the will-power to insist it was wrong. Rin was doing something to him, and it felt good. He felt the strange compulsion to give that feeling back to her as well; apparently, the tree was not a means to this end.

"Perhaps," he said guardedly, "you would prefer something else?"

"No!" Rin cried, rushing forward and placing both of her hands on his breastplate. "My lord is kind to do this. I'm just not accustomed to receiving such _thoughtful_ gifts." Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment as she realized that she was completely truthful in her words. No male had ever given her something with her feelings in mind. Sesshomaru really was trying his best, and that in itself was touching.

_Very touching_.

Rin smiled warmly as she looked up at Sesshomaru. This was a much different level than any they had ever stood on together. It was new, and kind of scary, but also exciting. And Rin really did like the face he was sporting. He was kind of _embarrassed_, and she found it to be quite charming.

"I like it very much," she murmured, feeling the blush rise to her cheeks once more. "Thank you."

Sesshomaru bit his lower lip, not entirely sure of what to do. What was it that people usually said after being told "thank you"? It had happened so rarely in his centuries of life that he had nearly forgotten his courtly manners.

"You're welcome," Sesshomaru mumbled, looking away.

Rin let a happy grin curl across her face. _Maybe I can learn to like his taste in plants, _she thought. _Right now, almost anything is worth seeing that look on his face._

And in the background, the tree continued to feed while providing shade for the couple standing together in the garden.

888888888

It was around the third time Jaken was struck in the head with a rock that day when he decided to become as invisible as possible. Apparently he always found himself in Sesshomaru's presence at the worst possible moments. The demon lord was in a decidedly foul mood, and it was no secret as to why.

Rin had been giving him the cold shoulder since that morning. She had decided to become invisible as well apparently, and had offered no explanation for it. In all of Sesshomaru's searchings, he had only managed to find Jaken. This was usually about the same time that a rock found Jaken's head.

_Where does he get those stones from anyway?_ the toad wondered as he rubbed his sore head.

Suddenly, Jaken heard a distinct whizzing sound cutting through the air. Hoping to avoid what he knew to be inevitable, the toad threw himself to the ground in desperation. Sure enough, the projectile found its target.

"Ouchouchouch!" Jaken squealed. Sitting up, he checked his head for any additional damage than what had already been done. He was surprised to hear the telling chortle of Rin's laughter coming from behind him. Jaken turned and scowled at the girl.

"Sorry, Jaken-sama," Rin giggled, "I couldn't resist."

"Pest!" Jaken hissed. "I think I liked you better when you were still in bed."

"Now you don't really mean that," the girl soothed, coming over to inspect her friend for any wounds. "I'm sorry; I found this rock in the house and it was so perfect that I had to throw it at you."

"Probably one of the ones Sesshomaru-sama hit me with earlier," the toad grumbled.

Rin frowned sympathetically. "In any case, it got your attention," she said quickly. "I want to talk to you."

Jaken gave a long-suffering sigh. "What do you want then, Rin-chan?" he grumbled.

The girl smiled warmly and nuzzled her cheek against Jaken's head. It never failed to delight her whenever Jaken called her "-chan." She could not have imagined ever liking the diminutive suffix from anyone, least of all Jaken. But the way he said it sounded so sweet that she couldn't protest. Any affection from Jaken was welcomed.

"I'm beginning to suspect that Sesshomaru-sama has an ulterior motive in giving me all of these gifts," she said softly. "He's trying to get me to stay; that much is certain."

Jaken pushed Rin away and threw his hands up into the air. "What are you doing asking me this?" he wailed. "I want no part of what is going on between you two."

"But what is going on?" Rin demanded. "Why is he being so nice to me? What does he want?"

"I don't know," the toad snapped. "I've never seen him behave like this. Ever."

Rin sighed and gave a sad smile. "I just would hate to think he's bribing me," she murmured. "Do you think he's doing this out of guilt?"

"Guilt?" Jaken coughed. _He's never felt an iota of guilt a single day in his life,_ he thought angrily. _But if anyone should merit guilt from him, it would be you._

Rin nodded. "I'm afraid he's buying my forgiveness," she said, shaking her head. "I wish I could understand."

The toad looked to his human companion and frowned. He had invested so much time in the care of this fragile being for almost two decades. Though he would never admit it to anyone, he hated to see her sad; especially when it had something to do with Sesshomaru. It was obvious to anyone who had eyes that the girl was in love with her guardian. If you had asked him whether Sesshomaru would consider intimately associating himself with a human ten years ago, the answer would have been a resounding, "No." But now Jaken wasn't so sure. He always looked on every human with disdain, except for Rin. From the beginning the two shared a bizarre understanding between each other that even they themselves could not comprehend it completely. Jaken was beginning to notice a hidden tenderness in Sesshomaru's eyes whenever he looked at Rin. There was concern for her in that gaze, but there was also a quiet contemplation. It looked as though the dog demon was battling with the same line of thought each time he looked upon his ward.

Jaken knew very little about love; his species had no use for it. He had learned about it gradually throughout his travels with his lord. It was a difficult thing for the toad to wrap his mind around completely, but he felt he had the gist of it. He knew Rin was in love, no questions asked. The way she acted around Sesshomaru and the way she stared at him spoke of how deeply and strongly she felt. There was one thing that poked out in Jaken's observation and niggled at the back of his brain when he saw Sesshomaru and Rin together. They had the same eyes when they were together. Soft and heavy eyelids, coupled with a glittering shine always appeared when they were in each other's presence.

The toad gently patted Rin's hand. "I don't think that's it, Rin-chan," he softly offered, "but I do know he is a changed man ever since you ran away."

Rin nodded. _Changed for what?_ she wondered.

Quickly the girl brightened her dreary features and gave Jaken's hand a squeeze. "Where do you think Sesshomaru gets all those rocks he throws at you?" she giggled. "I've never seen him with pockets."

Jaken rolled his bulbous, yellow eyes. "God knows," he moaned. "I'm beginning to think it's one of his demonic powers, to manifest rocks in his hands."

"I think you're right!" Rin cackled delightedly. "I was having trouble imagining him searching the ground for pebbles that he liked."

"I wouldn't put it past him," Jaken griped. "Sesshomaru-sama puts a great deal of thought into everything he does. He probably searches for days just to find the perfect stone."

Rin laughed back, but her mind immediately withdrew and muddled over the words Jaken had just said. _What do you think about when you give me those gifts?_ she wondered forlornly. _These false hopes are becoming too heavy to bear._

888888888

Sesshomaru felt a childish excitement as he watched the door to the courtyard. He had politely hinted to Rin while they were at dinner that she was welcome to join him there in the evening. She was quiet, but she did nod and smile a tiny bit in response. Lately, it was hard to gauge her reactions to him. Sesshomaru did not understand why Rin suddenly acted so stiff and frigid around him. Things had seemed like they were going well. Was he not paying her enough attention?

He had been rather busy of late, although not with anything important. He had taken to brooding in the afternoons, mainly about her. It had been a month since she had given her ultimatum. Even if he did convince her to stay, he would still have to watch her die someday. What scared him the most was, knowing in his heart he would not be content with this. Somewhere along the line he would want her to make another pearl. It would break him to watch Rin leave, and it would break him just as much to have her stay and die. As powerful as Sesshomaru was, he knew that he inevitably would be broken by a human girl.

He had tried to stop it. He fought against it, and he groveled underneath it. Every time he tried to deny it his mind laughed at his pathetic lies. He _knew_. Sesshomaru knew but was scared to put a name on it. If he made it that real, he might not be able to hold back. Pride was the only thing standing between Sesshomaru and happiness.

"Flowers? They are…they are lotus blossoms! I didn't know they were still in bloom."

The gentle melody of Rin's voice startled Sesshomaru back into reality. The girl was crouched next to the koi pond he had ordered to be placed in the garden. Rin liked the clothes he had given her, but then he had always given her clothes. The tree had been a great success, so Sesshomaru honed his focus on Rin's love of plants. He smiled proudly, secretly thankful that he had been attentive to Rin's tastes in the past.

Looking down at her as she dipped her fingers in the water to tease the fish, Sesshomaru felt himself grow light. Contentment washed over his body and for once he embraced it.

_This is enough,_ a voice in his head told him, and he believed it.

Rin traced her fingers over the delicate petals. "Thank you," she murmured. But her heart twisted and her face fell even as she was embracing his gift.

"You are not pleased?" Sesshomaru asked, genuinely puzzled. He knew without a doubt that she liked this type of plant. Was it in the wrong color then?

Rin bit her lower lip. She had to confront him. She had to know. It hurt too much to keep up their little game wondering who the winner was going to be.

"Why are you doing this?" she whispered in a painful voice.

The demon was taken aback. "What?" he stammered.

The girl looked up, tears brimming in her eyes. "Why are you giving me this?" she demanded softly. "What are you hoping to prove?"

Stunned, Sesshomaru could only stare at her with his mouth open.

Rin swallowed. Taking a deep breath, she gathered every ounce of courage in her body so she could stand up and look him in the face.

"I asked you a question when you came to me in Hell," she began with a shaking voice. "You answered it then, and I'm not going to ask you to answer it again now; at least, not out loud. But you can't expect me to wait quietly for you to make up your mind any longer."

"The way you've been treating me," she continued with a sad smile, "makes me think you have a different answer in mind than the one you first gave. I can't bear to think you don't know anymore. What I'm trying to say is that I need to know why you're doing all this. Are you trying to get me to stay?"

"Yes," Sesshomaru whispered, bowing his head.

"Is that all?" Rin snapped.

The demon closed his eyes and pushed out a long breath. "No," he finally answered.

The girl sighed gently. A small wave of relief swept over her. "Then," she swallowed nervously, "what are you trying to gain?"

At this Sesshomaru flinched. She thought he was only looking out for himself. He had tried so hard to show her his mind. It was so painfully clear to him how much she meant, but he had failed let her know. She saw his gifts as petty.

"Nothing," he sighed. "I am not trying to gain anything." _This is the only way I know how to tell you._

Rin smiled brokenly. "Oh," was all she could bring herself to say. Her hand fluttered against her chest, and she gave a short, nervous laugh. Embarrassed with herself, she quickly turned her back on Sesshomaru and worked to regain her composure.

"Then perhaps," she finally managed to choke out, "you are…trying to do something else?"

Sesshomaru took a step towards the girl, but did not touch her. He _wanted_ to touch her, but again he was afraid of giving her the wrong idea. Every part of him ached to comfort her, but he had to wonder whose benefit he had in mind.

The girl let a shivering sigh pass through her teeth. "Is it so hard to say out loud?" she pressed.

"Yes," Sesshomaru struggled, "it is."

Rin looked down at the flowers in the little pond. She looked up to the Toriboku, and then back down to the sleeve of her new kimono. Everything he had given her had her tastes in mind. He always looked so pleased when she accepted his gifts, as if he had poured hours of thought into them. He probably had.

Sesshomaru was never one to use words over actions. He didn't waste time debating; if he wanted it, he went after it. Divide and conquer; always a soldier in everything he did. Now he was trying to show Rin he could be ordinary too. Underneath the layers of pomp and circumstance, there was a regular man. Rin could see it now. The one thing she had wished so hard to happen, and she almost missed it. The flowers and the other gifts were a message that he didn't know how to say with words. He had been telling her the same thing again and again, waiting for her to notice. He was asking the same question that she was.

What would her answer be?

The girl smiled. "You gave me lotus blossoms," she whispered. "Thank you."

The dog demon relaxed his posture. Rin was accepting his good intentions. "This Sesshomaru knows you are fond of them," he replied in a silky tone. Stepping closer to her, he nuzzled his nose against the shell of her ear. He was being bold, and hoping that his emotions would be effectively conveyed through this action. The effect it had was not quite what he had intended it to be.

Startled, Rin jumped forward and squeaked. Her hands were shaking and she was breathing rather heavily—he'd frightened her, he realized. She was afraid of him touching her like this.

Sesshomaru frowned. It was a true frown, one brought on by sadness; usually his frowns indicated his anger, or disappointment, or displeasure with something. But his heart felt like a giant sponge saturated with water. To his horror he realized he might even start slouching under the strain of this emotional defeat.

"It's okay," Rin cooed. Now it was her turn to startle him by touching the side of his face with her palm. He had not realized she was standing so close. Looking down into her face, he let out a small sigh of content. She was smiling at him again, and eagerly she brought her other hand to rest on the other side of his face.

"It's okay," she repeated. "You just startled me, that's all. I wasn't expecting…that." Her cheeks flushed red, but she did not take her eyes away from his.

Very slowly, Sesshomaru lifted his arms and began to move them. Painstakingly bringing Rin into his embrace, he was relieved to feel her lean into his body, accepting his timid offer to hold her. Encouraged, he petted her hair and contented himself with listening to her shallow breathing.

After a moment he realized she might be waiting for him to say something. She had just told him that he had startled her; perhaps she would object to being held for so long? Was he going against her will? He swallowed hard. "Is this---" _Good? Nice? Cozy? Adequate?_ "—permissible?"

Her reply was a gentle "hmmmm." He took it as an affirmative. Now he was brave enough to lay his cheek on the top of her head and quietly wait for her to make the next move.

It came very subtly, and he almost missed it. After a long drawn out moment of merely touching one another, Rin sighed deeply and arched her spine. The movement caused his hands to slip, catching themselves once again in the small of her back. Nodding against his chest, Rin made no other motion to correct their change in posture.

Sesshomaru was overwhelmed suddenly with the idea that he was touching something very intimate, though he was quite sure it was only her back. The place under his fingers felt warm, and even through her clothes it was noticeably softer than any part he had managed to touch thus far. It was only the small of her back, yet it was there that the key to everything Rin felt could be found. If she was confused, he need only push with his hand and subliminally guide her from there. If she was afraid, reassurance could be echoed in gentle pressure from his fingers. If she was joyful, he could siphon some of her happiness into his own being, just by touching the small of her back. He was the only one who knew the combination; that was _his_ special place, and would always be.

Rin had allowed him to reclaim one piece of herself. That alone was encouraging.

"I'm sleepy," Rin yawned, finishing with a squeak. She started worming herself back and away from Sesshomaru, and he grudgingly returned his arms to his sides. Lazy eyes blinked at him, and the way she looked with that goofy, sleepy smile was slipped into his memory for later access.

"I guess I shall bid you goodnight then?" she tried. He was just staring at her blankly, as if everything inside of him had turned off and gone to sleep before she did. It might well be true; Rin could never tell, but she had always suspected him of sleeping with his eyes open. _Okay then_, she sighed, and turned to go.

"Wait."

It was Sesshomaru doing the squeaking now. _Damn! I sound like a child pleading for its mother!_

Rin turned in profile to look at him. "Yes?" she whispered.

Sesshomaru bit his lower lip in consternation. Words had never come easily to him, but he had been able to form complete sentences before now. Why was this so difficult?

"Stay," he rasped. _There,_ he mentally congratulated, _technically that is a sentence. Now say another._

"Stay?" Rin asked, quirking the corners of her mouth into a teasing smile.

_She's laughing at me!_ "Stay," he repeated, and then added, "please."

Rin stood patiently, listening and waiting for a cue as to what exactly it was he wanted.

"Stay up tonight with this Sesshomaru. Just stay here. We can sit." And as if he didn't sound pathetic enough, he finished his lame speech with a mournful, "Please."

The answer was well worth the humiliation of the question. Eagerly, Rin trotted over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist in a quick hug. Then she swiveled to his side, leaving one arm around his back and the other flat on his chest. "Ok," she giggled.

Sesshomaru smiled. He could learn how to be better at this. If this was what childish pleas earned him, he could perfect his speech into adult reassurances, and see what kind of response they could elicit.

Using the small of her back to guide her over to the Toriboku, Sesshomaru tugged Rin down onto his lap, and together they sat.

888888888

She was going to stay.

Rin started to cry when she realized it. She knew this was how things would be. This was the way things _had_ to be, but she never wanted to admit it out loud. There was no Rin without Sesshomaru, and no Sesshomaru without Rin. But this was not enough even though she had decided to stay. They both needed one another, but did they _want_ one another?

_I have to know what I am to him_, the girl realized. _I will be here _f_or the rest of my life and I have to know who I am. Tell me, Sesshomaru._

It was the middle of the night. Each step she took was to the rhythm in her head of a voice saying, "This is crazy." Something like this could wait for a more opportune time. In fact it practically screamed for a secluded, neutral setting. Not his bedroom in the middle of the night.

"Sesshomaru!" Rin cried, throwing the doors open. _This is crazy!_

The demon jolted upright in bed; though he had not been asleep, his state of mind was lucid and filled with waking dreams. The tone in Rin's voice was filled with panicked urgency and he did not like it. Something must be terribly wrong for her to be doing this.

"Rin, what is it?" he gasped, rushing towards her. His hands clamped around the girl's biceps and he stared at her intensely. Her eyes were franticly darting about but could not see anything; a sheen layer of confusion blanketed her vacillating pupils. There was a strange smile on her lips, much like the one she had worn on the day she died in his arms.

_She has made her decision_, Sesshomaru realized. He released Rin and hardened his features.

Rin was laughing nervously. Her hands trembled while her fingers twisted about each other. _Say something! Anything!_ she screamed at herself.

"Good evening my lord," she squeaked. "Have I come at a bad time?"

_You stupid fool_, Rin cursed.

"Rin," Sesshomaru barked. His tone of voice was answer enough. He watched her flinch, and then calm herself. The fog lifted from her gaze and she was staring straight at him with an enlightened look on her face.

_There is never a bad time for you, little one,_ Sesshomaru mourned, _only bad news._

"I have come to a decision in regards to my future," the girl announced, clearing her throat. "Specifically, the decision concerning where I will live. I have given it a great deal of thought, and I think it would be best if I stayed."

_There! You did it!_ Rin cheered.

Sesshomaru's heart skipped a beat. _She's going to stay,_ he reeled. _She's going to stay here, but why? For herself, or for me?_

"I am…happy to hear this news," the demon stammered. What else was he supposed to say? It was hard enough acting like the whole scenario was normal. He was every bit as surprised and uncomfortable as he was pleased and relieved. It was incredibly improper of Rin to storm into his bedroom _uninvited_ in the middle of the night. But it was strangely exciting too. The wild energy she radiated was quite contagious. Sesshomaru found himself struggling to breathe.

"What would my lord have me do?" Rin asked ecstatically. "I will stay in this house but I want to be of use. I will not take my privileges for granted; I know I must earn my place in your house. Tell me, what would you have me do?"

"Do?" the dog demon grunted.

"Yes," the girl panted, "what role shall I fill? I refuse to go back to my old one; any suggestions along that line are completely out of the question. But I do want to be of use to you."

"Use?" Sesshomaru repeated, taken aback.

"I will not be a burden to this house," Rin pleaded. "Even if I am just a maid, or a servant, I wish to have some part in your life." _Any part, so long as I can be close to you._

Both of their jaws dropped upon hearing Rin's bold statement. Each one quickly struggled to bring themselves back under control, while at the same time their minds spun around the implications of the words.

_Please let me mean something to you,_ Rin begged. _I cannot bear being nothing._

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes. "You are above being a servant," he scoffed. "This Sesshomaru will not permit you to humiliate yourself like this."

"Something more official then," the girl cried excitedly. "Something important."

"There is no need for this," the dog demon chided. "If you wish to stay you may stay."

"I could be a diplomat," Rin suggested hastily, ignoring her lord. "Takako-san has educated me well, and I am more than familiar with advanced political strategies and military tactics."

"No."

"I could be a scribe then. You know I can write much faster and nicer than Jaken-sama," she desperately continued. "And I wouldn't have to be seen by anyone."

"No."

Rin felt herself beginning to cry. "A stable hand then!" she choked. "I can take care of all of the horses, and Aun too. You know I'm good at that!"

"No."

"Then what would you have me do!" Rin screamed.

Sesshomaru knitted his eyebrows together. "Only what pleases you," he admonished.

"It pleases me to be with you!" the girl sobbed, fighting the need to fall to her knees.

"Then be with me," he stated matter-of-factly.

"As what?" she begged, looking to Sesshomaru for guidance.

The demon frowned. "As yourself," he said in a clipped tone, as if he was stating something so obvious.

"But what would you have me do?"

Carefully Sesshomaru reached forward and hooked a finger underneath Rin's chin before pulling her face up to look at him. Then with delicate strokes of his thumbs he chased away the tears from her cheeks, until her face was dry and calm once more. He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly through his nose. There could be no room for doubt in his mind. If he was going to tell her, he had to be absolutely truthful in thought and deed.

Sesshomaru licked his lips. "You may do whatever you _want_," he murmured. "Your life is not mine to control."

He could feel his face slackening into the longing gaze he'd been trying so hard to hide. Still, it couldn't be helped. Rin was free. She was not obligated to him in any way. There would be no debt of servitude, no place in the empire, unless she wanted it. But he hoped that she wanted more, as did he. But what he wanted didn't matter, no matter how much he longed to have her. She would be something _more_ only if she wanted to.

Rin swallowed. It was faint, but she could not make any mistake in naming what she saw. He was holding himself back upon her will, clearly suppressing his own. Whatever he desired was being leashed behind his face, barely contained by his other desire to please her. But she could see it there in his eyes. Rin saw a distant yearning in the soft curves of his eyelids. There was a glowing need lighting the amber of his irises. And in the deep, dark blackness of his pupils, there was a primal _hunger_ wanting to surface and consume everything there was to her.

And Rin wanted it.

"I understand," she whispered, raising her hand to touch his face. _I am prepared to pay the cost._

Sesshomaru pulled Rin forward and rested his brow on the crown of her head. He sighed deeply, and licked his lips. "You will stay?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes," Rin answered, "I will stay with you."

"You know what it means," he rasped, "to stay with me. I will not watch you leave me. There must be another pearl."

The girl nodded. "I know."

The demon swallowed. "You will have to die again," he reminded.

"I am not afraid of death," Rin answered, "not anymore. I am afraid of life without you."

Gently, Rin tipped her head up so their foreheads pressed against each other. Her breathing was ragged as she felt Sesshomaru's hand move from her face, down her neck, and finally around her waist.

"This Sesshomaru will carry it," he whispered. His other hand now cupped her cheek.

Rin gripped onto the front of his shirt with both fists. "Then I can never be without you," she murmured with a smile. Her eyes sparkled. "And you will never be without me."

Sesshomaru closed his eyes and smiled. "This Sesshomaru will not be careless. I cannot bear to lose you ever again."

"I know," Rin laughed. "I will never leave you again, either. But let's not talk of jewelry now." Her lips parted.

He kissed her fiercely. They held onto one another as if they were afraid gravity would suddenly decide to fail. Sesshomaru decided that he had never tasted anything as sweet as Rin's mouth; everything about her filled his senses pleasurably. Rin wasted no time in dispensing maidenly shame; she had waited long enough for this moment. They devoured one another with eager tongues and hungry hands until they finally had to surface for air.

"Can I stay?" Rin panted, fisting her hands in Sesshomaru's hair.

"Only if you want," the demon replied. His mouth greedily descended down her neck, where he began pushing aside her collar to expose the softer skin underneath.

The girl sighed as she pulled herself closer to his body. "I want," she breathed into his ear. She was thrilled to feel him shudder in response.

Sesshomaru smiled against her neck. "Good," he chuckled softly, "because I would not have wanted you to leave."

888888888

It was both thrilling and humbling, as she placed her hands on his bare shoulders. She was touching something _ancient_; he had lived for countless centuries before she was even a thought. Yet she never would have imagined something so old to feel so warm and alive. She was mesmerized by the steady rhythm of his pulse pounding underneath the skin of his neck. His breath was hot against her ear. Rin suddenly wanted to taste his flesh, desperately seeking to find out what flavor forever held.

He was a sentinel in the stream of time, always keeping pace with its flow. And now, she would be at his side.

"Se-Sesshomaru," Rin choked. One of his hands was steadily moving up her leg from under her kimono, while the other slid down her neck to her collar and pulled the fabric apart. The demon let a feral growl escape from his lips by accident; upset with himself, he began moving away from the girl in case he had frightened her. But Rin would have none. Her arms snaked tightly around his chest and hooked onto his shoulders.

Sesshomaru gave a startling, inhuman whine. Rin was making it so hard for him to go slowly. He could understand what she wanted of him, but knew that she didn't understand what his wanting could do to her.

"Please," he begged, "let me---"

Rin cut him off with a searing kiss. "It's okay," she soothed in a breathy whisper. "I know."

The dog demon groaned when he felt eight fingertips glide under the waist of his pants. It was a miniscule distance, and she was not touching a lot of skin, but it felt so tender that he could not help his reaction. Eagerly wishing to inspire the same from Rin, Sesshomaru pulled his left hand away from her neck and pressed possessively against the small of her back. To his delight the girl arched against his chest and let a broken moan escape from her throat.

It was going too slow. If he didn't hurry, Rin was going to start crying. It was all just too beautiful, and her heart was threatening to burst from the strain of holding it all in. In that moment, the only thing Sesshomaru had on his mind was Rin—of how much he wanted her, needed her, and loved her. Rin knew this was true, because all that was on her mind was Sesshomaru.

The world died away. Time stopped.

His tongue found its way to her neck. Her hands slipped a little lower under his clothes.

When he had painstakingly removed the last thread of fabric from her body, Sesshomaru could only stare in awe. He was not unfamiliar with the naked female form; during his time spent as a young soldier, he had bedded a few loose women. But Rin looked so much different, and it was not only because she was human. Each curve seemed to have a gently glowing outline. Her very image conjured a likeness to something more supernatural, but it was in her scars that he found reality once again. Even those white lines that spidered across her neck and belly were beautiful. Rin was like a dream he had forgotten long ago, but had secretly cherished in the back of his mind. Though he had never seen her like this before, he knew every part of her so well; it was as though he'd seen her every day. Yet her beauty did not fail to thrill him. Nothing could compare to Rin.

Never once closing his eyes, he lowered his head to her breast and tasted her wanting skin. Rin shuddered and wrapped her arms around his head; it was too much. A lone tear escaped and fled down the side of her face.

Every touch on her skin burned with love. He did not merely want her; he would die without her. She knew each stroke of his tongue was both a silent plea for acceptance and a small promise of what was to come. Rin could feel herself filling his body as Sesshomaru begged to fill hers. It was all she could do to keep herself from sobbing his name again and again. This would be the only prayer to pass her lips; all other words were common drivel that filled the space during the days. His name was sacred to her and her alone, because no one else could ever say it with both humility and authority. It was all she needed to say, and he would understand and answer her cries without fail.

"Sesshomaru," Rin hoarsely groaned, pulling her body open to him. The dog demon growled softly before giving in. He had no right to deny her what was--- and always would be---hers any longer. They cried out together as he took her, and moaned together as their bodies forcibly pressed into each other. There was no room for air between them, but they held on harder.

He did everything in his power to remain gentle, but she still cried. Later, he would find out that it was not any pain from which her tears sprang. He lapped them up as they fell.

She did everything in her power to remain intact, but her soul still flew apart. Later, she would find out he was afraid of holding her too roughly. She clung to him as she fell.

He knew there was no turning back; his legacy was being forged in these first moments he gave as a husband. Everything about his way of thinking had to change, or else he would be doomed to repeat the consequences of his former ignorance. He could not afford to lose her again, no matter what. Her hands squeezed into his back, and he was gone.

She knew there was no looking ahead; her patience was being born in these first moments she gave as a wife. Everything about the way she lived had to change, or else she would never be able to fully accept this gift of life he bestowed upon her. She could not afford to lose herself again, no matter what. He planted his mouth on the hollow spot of her collarbone, and she was gone.

When they woke up the next morning, the world still had not restarted. Both of them knew it never would. They hungrily devoured one another once more.

"Forever," he promised, and waited for her reply.

"No," she said with a coy smile, "much more than that."

888

Sesshomaru gave her life for the first time. Their haste in becoming lovers caused a delay in the forging of the second pearl; Rin was with child and the dangers of the process were too great. There was not a day spent where Sesshomaru was not full of nervous worry for the health of his young bride. Rin gave birth, and soon after she was well again the second pearl was made. She was proud to give him a strong son.

Rin gave her life for the last time. Sesshomaru remained true to his word and had the new pearl set in a medallion, which he wore on a chain around his neck always. Throughout the whole process, he never once let her go. The same had been true for when she was in labor with their child; Sesshomaru never would have imagined how precious the life of another could be to him. The dog demon named his first-born Shinju—"pearl." He was proud to name the half-breed as his heir.

They had paid the price for their dreams, and they had learned the courage to live them.

888888888

A/N: The last chapter! Ahhh! Did you like the bird eating tree? You should thank Botan. Totally her idea. As for the name, I just threw together "bird" and "tree" in Japanese, because I'm just uncreative like that; sorry if it makes no sense. And in regards to their kid's name…eh. I wanted it to be that, but it is female. But dang it, if Kohaku ("amber") can parade around with that name, then my kid can be secure in his masculinity with this one.

Fluff really isn't my forte, but they needed a happy ending after what I put them through. A lot of you reviewers made that quite clear. This is probably the only time I will be able to say this, but I am flattered at the number of death threats I have received. Did I make it happy enough? Don't forget: I still have the epilogue.

Stay tuned after the epilogue for a little something extra. I've never done anything like this before, so we'll just have to see how it turns out. Call it a treat for those of you that have stuck it out this long. I am really going to miss writing this, but I am also glad it is done. Thank you all for reading and reviewing all this time. I hope I have managed to entertain and enthrall.


	11. Epilogue

_The Pearl_

Disclaimer: Just when you thought it was done, there's more that I still don't own.

Epilogue

_She learned the cultured jargon of those bred_

_To antique crystal and authentic pearls…_

_Back home her breeding led her to espouse_

_A bright young man whose pearl cufflinks were real._

--Ellen Kay, _A Pathedy of Manners_

_What's freedom for? To know eternity._

_I swear she cast a shadow white as stone._

_But who would count eternity in days?_

_These old bones live to learn her wanton ways:_

_(I measure time by how a body sways)._

--Theodore Roethke, _I knew a woman_

8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8

_The Demon's Assassin_

_During the days of the shogun and the samurai, men battled incessantly amongst themselves in order to gain the slightest modicum of power. In these times of wars and chaos, demons thrived off of the dead human bodies left behind in the battlefields. But there were some demons who were above mere carrion feeders; noble demons who possessed great power. They ruled over the four lands in their respective clans: the wolves to the North, the moths to the East, the snakes to the South, and the dogs to the West._

_It so happened that the dog demon lord of the West had in his care a human girl-child, whom he had taken into his protection when she was very small. The girl was raised as a demon, and walked among them without fear._

"I wouldn't say I was treated as a demon. More like, not treated like a human."

"You were spoiled."

"Shh! Don't interrupt, I'm reading."

_The great dog lord was known far and wide for his cruelty and unending thirst for power. Yet as strong as he was, he had two weaknesses that could not be overcome. The first weakness was that the demon lord possessed only one arm, having lost the other in a battle in the underworld._

"What are you making that face for?"

"It wasn't a 'battle.' It was a fluke. Beginner's luck. And it wasn't a weakness. It was a handicap. I overcame it."

"You've never been handicapped a day in your life, stubborn ass."

"Shh! I want to hear the story."

_The second and most powerful weakness was the demon's fondness for the human girl he kept in his palace. There was nothing he would deny her, and with time she grew into a beautiful woman. The lord was without a wife, and many feared that he would one day claim his ward as his lady, thus weakening the lineage of the Western kingdom. Yet very few saw her, as she was kept under heavy guard. Those who were permitted near her swore to her beauty, as well as her genteel manner and kind heart. _

"Wow, I'm like Helen of Troy."

"I don't ever recall you being that genteel."

"I'm sorry, I was reading. Did you say something?"

_So much did the demon prince care for his ward, that he endowed her with a magical spell that protected her from ever becoming old or dying. By this enchantment would the mortal woman be able to live with her immortal lord for all time._

"Housenki's gonna be mad that he didn't get any credit in this."

"I'm not 'magical' by any stretch of the imagination. Who wrote this again?"

_It was during this time that the demon rulers of the East and South were being hunted and killed by an invisible assassin. Desperate for help, they sought the aid of the Western lord, who offered his protection in exchange for land. After a time, the Western Lands encompassed a great deal of the world, yet there was still the threat of the murderer in their midst. The neighboring lords had their suspicions against the West, but no evidence. _

_A young, brave general in the East was commissioned to ferret out the truth. Already knowing the assassin would be next in coming to his house, he laid in wait, keeping vigil over his land. The night came when the assassin slipped through the shadows and into the bedroom of the young demon, intending to murder him as he slept. But the general had been ready, and in the bed a servant took his place. It was by this trick that he was able to capture the assassin. However, he was shocked to find upon revealing the murderer's identity that it was in fact the human ward of the Western prince._

"He wasn't brave, he was insane. This thing makes him out to be some kind of victim."

"Are you certain you want to continue with this?"

"I'm fine, don't worry. Just a little agitated."

_The general tried to execute the secret criminal, but the enchantment over the girl's life protected her from harm. Undeterred, the general then captured the girl's soul and held it for ransom, sending the girl back to the West to steal the two demon swords the dog lord was known to carry: a sword of unending torture and death, and a sword of healing and life. The girl set about her mission, but upon her return, fell to her knees in shame. Unable to betray her beloved guardian, she begged to her lord for rescue. The Western lord was infuriated at his secret plot being revealed and cast out the girl in the interest of his kingdom. Betrayed and alone, the girl managed to steal her master's healing sword, in hopes that she could still save herself. However, the general rejected the incomplete ransom, and seduced the broken girl, taking her as his concubine to further humiliate the Western lord. She was thus imprisoned; unable to die, yet unwilling to live._

"I will beg your forgiveness for this until the end of time."

"And I will always forgive you in turn, my husband."

_The Western Lands launched an attack on the East, and the palace of the young general was its target. The dog demon army was strong, and stormed the castle where the human ward of the Western Lord was held captive. Knowing his life was in danger, the Eastern general bargained for his freedom in exchange for the girl. The Western lord refused, determined that the moth demon would pay for the grievances he had inflicted. The general was defeated, but at the cost of the girl's life; she died in the arms of her beloved lord, cursing her very existence until the end._

_Such grief and anguish plagued the demon lord for his actions that he swore the only way his honor could be restored was to travel to hell and beg forgiveness of the human he had so wronged._

_Journeying to the Fire Mountains, he found where the only door to the world of the dead in the mortal realm existed. The demon lord battled the sentinels at the gate in order to gain passage. Their defeat came swiftly, and the gate opened. The Western lord entered, knowing full well that he might never return, but unable to rest until he had been forgiven for his betrayal._

_For what seemed years, the Lord of the Western Lands did search the very depths of hell, and every crevice. As he searched, his missing arm did steadily grow back until he was once more whole. Yet in his heart he would never be complete until he found the woman he had lost. _

"Aww! That was so sweet."

"I thought it to be overdone."

"Steal my sunshine then, why don't you?"

_Along his journey, he found the soul of the woman he lost in three pieces: a child, a girl, and a woman. The child and young girl were difficult to locate, but willingly revealed themselves to their lord when the time came. But the woman did not want to be found, and hid from her lord wherever he searched. At long last, he discovered the place she had used to hide from him. In earnest, he begged her to forgive him, and promised to make amends to her however he could. _

_The woman, who had been overcome with the love she felt for her lord upon seeing him again, decided to test his word. So she asked, "Wouldst thou remain for all eternity in hell by me, even if I should fail to forgive thee?" And her lord replied, "Without question." So the girl then asked, "Wouldst thou remain for all eternity on earth without me, even if I should freely forgive thee?" And her lord replied, "That would nigh be impossible."_

_Having approved of his answers, the girl swore to return to earth with him, though it might mean her mortal body would one day die. _

"Overcome with love? I don't recall you being overcome with anything but sheer loathing, and with good reason."

"There was love too. Always love."

_When the demon lord arrived back into the world of the living, he found his land had been ravaged by the Eastern and Southern lands. He had no choice but to take arms to defend his kingdom, all the while watching and waiting for his broken girl to return. It was through great trial and tribulation that she arrived after traveling across the two worlds to the palace. Having sworn to himself to never again lose this woman, the dog prince did then court the lady in earnest. Over one course of the moon did she consider, until at last she warmly embraced her lord and accepted his proposal for marriage._

"You did much more than 'warmly embrace' your lord."

"Watch where you're putting that hand, or I swear to god I'll cut it off again."

"Thou likest it too fondly, my lady, and scarce would take such an action."

"You're so full of it."

_It was soon after that the young woman became fat with child, and gave birth to a half-demon son, destined to be the heir to the Western Lands. After the child had been safely delivered, the demon lord did then bestow the same magical spell over his wife to ensure her immortality once more. And so they lived on, reigning quietly over the land, for the lord had discovered peace in his heart and no longer desired power as a means for happiness._

_The End._

888888888

It wasn't a castle anymore, but a penthouse in the higher end of Tokyo. There were no vassals, but corporations instead. There were no wars, only company mergers and take-overs. There was no more dog prince, but Sesshomaru still had the prestige that merited a '-sama' suffix from everyone shy of the emperor. There was no longer a misplaced orphan girl, but a woman who lovingly remained at the side of her demon husband for well over 5 centuries. And there was no lack of happiness under a reading lamp in the early evening, looking over the epic drama of their lives scrawled over slightly crumbling paper.

The two were sitting together in an easy chair that sat in the corner of their bedroom, with Rin in Sesshomaru's lap. She carefully rolled up the scroll and set it aside, before taking his left hand in her own and bringing it to her mouth.

Kissing the center of his palm sweetly, she sighed. "I'm so glad this grew back." Nuzzling her cheek against the hand, Rin tugged his elbow onto her lap in an odd embrace.

The demon smiled warmly. "I did not have a reason to want it whole, until I wanted to hold you."

"Flatterer," Rin giggled, but she blushed all the same.

Sesshomaru freed his limb from her grasp and used both of his arms to pull his wife more snugly against his body. She in turn shifted herself so that her cheek was pressed to his, while her arms draped lazily around his neck.

"It was entertaining," Sesshomaru spoke smoothly of the story, "but the real version was infinitely better. Perhaps we should write a letter to the editor."

"I must say my favorite part was when the girl became 'fat with child' from her demon lover," Rin laughed.

Sesshomaru growled a primitive and feral appreciation of his wife. "You never were fat," he scoffed. He pulled her roughly around in his lap so that she was facing him, and grinned wickedly.

Rin batted her eyes, still playing coy. "My hips say otherwise," she said sardonically. "You should tell your children it's entirely their fault." Her lower lip pouted out from her mouth.

The demon eagerly attacked the soft protrusion with his own mouth, nibbling in an effort to coax her tongue out. The woman surrendered easily, and fell limp against his chest in an effort to hold him as close as she could. Satisfied with himself, Sesshomaru pulled away, then moved his hands down to Rin's hips, gently squeezing them.

"I _like_ your hips," he purred, "and I _will_ thank my children for them." He then stood, scooping his wife into his arms and nuzzling his mouth into the side of her neck. "Right after I thank _you_ for them."

"You think you're so clever don't you?" Rin teased, giggling. "You think you're going to win that easily?" She was lowered to the bed, but quickly sat up and crossed her arms. "You must have forgotten whom it is you're married to."

"I have not forgotten," Sesshomaru murmured, hovering over her on hands and knees. "But if you think I have, then perhaps I should reacquaint myself with you." He kissed her with a bruising strength, pushing her onto her back. Still, his hands remained planted on the bed, and the only part of his body touching her was his mouth. He felt her stubborn resolve slip a few notches, and mentally congratulated himself for being so suave.

Breaking the kiss, he gave a lop-sided smile. "Hello," he hummed in his smooth baritone. He knew it was a sound she could not easily resist. _Like chocolate wrapped in velvet_, she had once described it; _intimidating in its richness, but excruciatingly desirable all the more for it._ "Do you come here often?"

"Okay now you're just sounding like a dork," Rin laughed, smacking him on the chest. "I swear, I don't remember the last time you tried to use a pick-up line on me."

"In 1956," he answered, moving his hands under her shirt to hug her ribs. "But that is neither here nor there." He let his thumbs smooth over the curves of the bones beneath her soft skin. "Why, is it working?"

Rin shuddered, her eyes drooping from her suddenly heavy lids. "No," she sighed, "it's just not your style." She leaned her head up and to the side, trying to tempt him into nibbling right beneath her jaw. "Demons don't talk like that."

Sesshomaru happily complied to his wife's obvious desire, while moving his hands further up her sides beneath her shirt. "Oh?" he mumbled against her throat. "And how _do_ demons talk?"

Rin closed her eyes and traced her nails across his back. "You know," she whispered.

"Do I?" he chuckled. Her ear suddenly became his next item of conquest, and he was grazing the shell with his fangs.

"Yeah," she trembled.

Sesshomaru pulled away to look Rin directly in the face. Her eyes were mostly shut, and she was looking back at him through darkened slits. Her mouth was slightly open, while her lips were swollen and pink from his earlier teasing. The demon smirked in triumph.

"You seem to have lost capabilities of forming a coherent sentence," he gloated.

"Huh?" Rin groaned, arching her back as the hands underneath her clothes reached the summit of their journey. He was talking too much. She wanted to tell him to shut up and get with the kissing, but her brain just would not send the message to her lips. Everything was muzzy; too late did she realize that he had out charmed her at her own game.

_I'll let him win_, she conceded. _Defeat isn't all that bad, anyway_.

The demon lifted the woman off of the mattress, rolling himself onto his back and pulling her tightly against his chest. "_Mine_," he growled, clutching onto her possessively.

Rin smiled as she reached her hands up to touch his face. "That's better," she sighed, stroking her fingers down the stripes on his cheeks. It never ceased to amaze her how foreign, and familiar, he was. Her chest filled with a rush of emotion, making her cheeks blush. _Centuries later, and he still makes me feel like a girl with a crush_, Rin mentally laughed.

"I adore you," she mooned.

"And I you," he replied with a grin. "Even if your hips are fat."

"Hey!" Rin yelled, snapping abruptly out of her spell. "That wasn't nice!"

The dog demon only smirked, pleased with his own sense of humor.

"You just totally ruined the mood, buster," Rin spat. She tried to squirm away, but his hands on her held firm like a vice. Glaring at her captor and tormentor, she resolved to exact vengeance on him later with a well-placed knee.

Apparently sensing the righteous fury raining down on him, Sesshomaru kissed his wife's forehead apologetically. "I didn't ruin it," he defended. "I merely put it on hold temporarily." As if to prove his point, he curved his hands up her spine and over her shoulder blades, before lightly tracing his claws down the length of her back, then back up again.

Involuntarily, Rin closed her eyes and nodded her head in subconscious approval. "You're going to be sorry for this later," she muttered in a wounded tone.

"As long as you enjoy it now," he answered glibly, kissing her with gentle warmth behind his lips.

When the kiss stopped, Rin shook her head in defeat. "You're just too much," she sighed. But she happily nestled her cheek into the curve of his neck, and reached a hand around to scratch the back of his scalp. The other hand rested on his shoulder, squeezing the muscle gently.

Sesshomaru curled around her body, cuddling her against his chest. It had only taken him 150 years to learn how to cuddle properly, and another 100 after that to attempt it with any frequency. Demons did not "cuddle" by nature, but he found that Rin slowly changed his once unbending instincts. "Pillow talk" was another foreign concept to him as a demon, but over the past century he'd given it a shot and found he was mildly successful in its execution. True, she would tease him for sounding corny at times, but he didn't really care. If it was funny to her, then it was all the more pleasing for him. Getting her to laugh for him was something he had learned to do right away, because the sound was something he found great comfort in. But being able to laugh _with_ her had been an experiment in and of itself. What he held in highest esteem was his ability to make her melt with a well phrased, softly spoken sentence of the highest romantic caliber.

"You are exquisite," he praised, his eyes wide and solemn.

Rin rolled her eyes. "That may be," she griped, "but it doesn't explain why you still have your pants on."

At this, Sesshomaru gave a short, explosive laugh. "I thought I had ruined the mood," he mocked.

"You put it temporarily on hold, remember?" she insisted, eyes glinting with mischief. "I picked it back up."

"It's a pity you can no longer be 'fat with child'," he lamented. "You're quite charming when you're pregnant, you know."

Rin stuck out her tongue and blew a raspberry at her impertinent husband. "I'm charming _all_ the time, I'll have you remember," she puffed. "Now, make with the stripping already."

"You seek to tell _this_ Sesshomaru what to do?" he grumbled playfully.

"Don't you '_this_ Sesshomaru' anything," she ribbed, poorly impersonating his voice. "If you're going to be difficult then I'll just have to leave."

"Where would you go?" he scoffed, holding onto her even more tightly. Now it was a direct challenge for her to try and move.

Rin looked thoughtful for a second, and then replied, "Australia."

"Australia?"

"Mm-hmm, that's where I'd go."

"Do pray tell why," her husband asked, quite amused.

"Because there are dingoes there," Rin explained matter-of-factly, "and with all those wild dogs, I'm sure there must be at least one demon amongst them. And when I find him---"

But Rin was interrupted with a menacing growl, followed by being flipped over onto her back and pinned underneath the demon. One hand came up behind her back and held down her shoulder; the other was fumbling between them, furiously working his belt to come undone.

"Easy there now," she breathed coolly, her stomach muscles clenching with her sudden excitement.

"No," he barked. Finally free of the belt, and with the button and zipper pulled apart, he moved to unfasten Rin from her clothes. She could feel her entire body quivering as he unceremoniously shucked her free from her pants and underwear at the same time, before turning and yanking her shirt above her head as well. The bra was merely pushed down, and he latched his mouth onto a breast just as he took her in a jarring thrust. He moved frantically and almost desperately against her, as if she truly would run away if any hesitation was shown on his part. Her toes were curling in minutes, and her vision went completely white. All the while she was listening to his strangled breaths, muted groans, and her own soft whimpers blending together in the air between them. Abandoning her breast, he moved to her mouth and greedily swallowed her tongue. When she cried out gently, he silenced her, just as he silenced his own choked sobs in their kiss. Heaving to an abrupt stop, he draped himself over her while they both panted in rhythm of one another.

"Wild dogs indeed," Sesshomaru puffed, narrowing his eyes at his wife.

"It got your attention," Rin offered with a weak smile. _On second thought_, she decided _he really doesn't need that well-placed knee kick as much as I thought. It would be a crime against nature._

"That was quite intense," she giggled.

He kissed her passionately once more, before pulling away and rolling to her side. His arm lay on her chest and cradled her chin in his hand. Sesshomaru schooled his face into the bored mask he was best known for, and offered it as the definitive answer to her implied question.

"You think you're being mysterious," Rin snorted, "but you really just look like you haven't a clue."

"This Sesshomaru should not have to explain his actions," he soothed, rolling to his side to better face Rin. "You should intrinsically understand them."

The woman laughed. "You were jealous!" she shouted, smacking his shoulder playfully. "You were jealous of someone that doesn't even exist!"

Sesshomaru lightly traced his claws down her bare side, eliciting a shudder from Rin's highly sensitive body. "I was merely acting in the best interest of your invisible boyfriend. He would be entirely unable and ill-equipped to handle you and your fickle moods, so it was my duty to distract you and provide him with means to escape."

"Ill-equipped?" Rin smirked.

Sesshomaru nodded seriously.

She thought about arguing, but really only wanted to snuggle in the affectionate after-glow of her husband's passion. "You're probably right," she sighed, rolling over and tangling herself into his limbs.

"Unquestionably," he sniffed.

They lay together in quiet contentment as the world continued to age outside of their windows. They had each other through the centuries, but it did not make it any easier to watch their surroundings die away. However, there was always comfort in knowing that for every civilization that disappeared, another rose to take its place. There had been moments where they questioned eternity.

Wars and revolutions became background static to their lives. Their children were raised to face the reality that power alone did not corrupt; it was the quest for power that brought destruction in its wake. World War II had nearly driven them both insane. The youngest children were still living at home, and while they were able to safely relocate themselves to a more remote area, the suffering and death they had seen could not be undone. Once, Sesshomaru would have relished in this. But as strong and powerful as he was, this was a force he could never hope to control. It shamed him to run in the face of adversity, but he knew that the protection of his family was entirely within his means. They survived, and pushed onward. Still, there were times where holding one another became the only reassurance they had that things had gotten better, and would continue to do so. Forever.

Rin yawned and tried to stretch from within the confines of her husband's arms. "What do we want to do tonight?" she asked.

Sesshomaru sighed and loosened his grip on his wife. If it was up to him, and it probably wasn't, he would be perfectly content to stay like this for the rest of the night and not bother with the noise and smell of Tokyo nightlife. "What did you have in mind?" he asked grudgingly.

"I was thinking we could go see Kyoshii and Ami," Rin said, pretending to not hear the boredom in Sesshomaru's voice. "We could pick up the grandkids, and go see a movie with them. Give our youngest and his wife a night off."

The dog demon smirked. "They put you up to this, didn't they?" he asked incredulously.

"What? Is it so strange to want to spend time with _our_ grandchildren?" She blinked wide, glassy eyes at him and pouted her lips.

He sighed again. "What time?"

"I told them we'd be there around six," she chirped. "That gives us enough time to have dinner and make the train."

"Since you're so on top of things, what did you have in mind for dinner?"

Rin sniffed, pretending to be hurt. "Well I _was_ going to suggest something quick like ramen, but---"

"That's fine," Sesshomaru answered, abruptly rising from the bed. He set about composing his clothes back into their standard perfection, then looked down impatiently at his wife. "Don't dawdle, Rin."

She groaned and flopped to her side, before shuffling to her feet. "I just _knew_ I'd regret the day when your brother introduced you to ramen," she complained. "I don't understand how he doesn't have a heart attack everyday, with as much sodium there is in that stuff."

"Do not belittle the only useful thing Inuyasha has ever done for this Sesshomaru," the demon replied haughtily.

Rin laughed sweetly. "Oh, and I suppose your nieces and nephews mean absolutely nothing to you in the grand scheme of things?" she grunted, pulling her jeans back on. She reached her hand out absently, searching the mattress. "Hand me my shirt, will you?"

The garment was placed in the awaiting fingers of its owner. "In the grand scheme of things," Sesshomaru retorted, "very little means anything to me. However," he amended, catching the furious gaze of his wife head-on, "on the individual scheme of things, there is much that I care for."

"Always talks in riddles," Rin mumbled grumpily, shifting her bra back into place.

"Always complaining," Sesshomaru shot back arrogantly.

"Always full of himself."

"Always making poor decisions."

Rin flashed a death glare at Sesshomaru. The demon instantly began choking on his words and mentally slapped himself for being so careless. Although he knew Rin had forgiven him for his harsh words all those centuries ago, he still felt terrible when he uttered anything that slightly resembled his previous insensitivity.

"That was a little below the belt, now wasn't it?" he said sheepishly. "You see? You poorly decided to love me, despite the fact that I am romantically incompetent."

Rin smiled and shook her head. "Always perfect," she purred in a low voice, twining her arms about his neck.

"Always forgiving," he murmured, resting his forehead against Rin's.

They kissed tenderly and deeply, for it was all they knew how to do.

Rin twined her legs around Sesshomaru's waist as she fell back onto the bed. "How much was your heart set on dinner?" she asked when they finally surfaced from each other. "Because I can always call my invisible boyfriend up here."

Sesshomaru groaned as Rin's nimble fingers found themselves on his belt, trying to work it open once more. "No," he breathed heavily, "your invisible boyfriend has already gone downstairs. I, on the other hand---"

"Please," Rin begged in a raspy voice. She looked to her husband with eyes full of need, and a sly grin as her hands found themselves on his skin. Her fingers gently grasped onto him, and he was pulling his own clothes off quite shakily.

"Slow," she whispered, finally taking off her clothes and pulling him down to her.

"When should I stop?" he murmured, joining her body and gently rocking his hips.

Rin smiled. "Never stop," she hummed.

"Is forever enough?" he asked. "It's all I can give at such short notice."

"Yes," Rin laughed, "forever will do for now."

888888888

A/N: And so the monster sleeps. This story nearly killed me, what with all the nights spent until 3 or 4am obsessing over a particular nuance that I ended up deleting anyway. And yet I found myself searching for ways to prolong its inevitable ending. I enjoyed this, very much. Just a quick note: for those of you who have me on author alert and you get little messages saying that _The Pearl_ has been revised, relax. I haven't changed anything drastic—just checked spelling, grammar, and small snarls in the overall tapestry. If I _do_ change something drastic however, I'll be sure to note it in my author's profile page.

I fondly dedicate _The Pearl_ to Botan, who was the first to admit to being a fan, even though I didn't believe her. I throw my comma offspring in your general direction. Thank you for getting upset when the tennis coach grabbed your hips to demonstrate a move; it made for a good chapter. Thank you also for talking me out of killing Kado, and for trying to talk me out of killing Kagome; I had to come to a compromise on that last one. I wish I could say my Rin-complex isn't as advanced as it seems, but I know I didn't fool you. My parts and pieces were not so disguised that you didn't recognize them: the emotionless jerk, smashing boobs, the green song, horses, cherries, messy room, and gardening. It was an open book after that. I promise to seek professional help. (Shallow words, considering I'm a behavioral therapist, eh?) Thank you also for our Learning Center phone consultations. Ms. Grammar would be so proud. Without you, I would have ended up writing the Japanese rendition of _Titus Andronicus_. You have once again saved the world from me. I'll let you catch your breath before I try and do it again. You'll have your payment in the form of one-shots soon enough.

And, of course, without the peachy keen readers and reviewers I had throughout this tale's journey, I probably would have made it to chapter 3 and then scrapped it. _You are my sunshine._ I try to read anything written by my reviewers, but the process has been slow going due to this all consuming writing process. I promise I'll get there. Don't think you're off the hook either. There will be more down the road. After all, some of you were nice enough to put me on your favorites lists, and I can't disappoint you all, now can I? It may take a couple of truck stops and endless cups of tar coffee, but I'll eventually create another destination.

Maybe I'll actually give writing something about Inuyasha a stab. It's his series, after all.

love, asiancherries


	12. For Your Viewing Pleasure

_The Pearl_

Disclaimer: I threw this away, making it even less of totally not mine to begin with.

For Your Viewing Pleasure: Mistakes and Other Oddities

_The road to Hell is paved with good intentions._ --Anonymous

8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8

A/N: Yes, you read it right. Over the course of writing this fic, I had brainstormed many different outcomes for the chapters as they came. Around about my chapter 6 (your chapter 8, which should give you a clue as to how much my vision deviated) I started going back and saving the stuff that was scrapped. So, here is what you missed out on: the proverbial crap on the cutting room floor. Try not to make too much sense of it.

88888888888

**-------Chapter 2: Original details of how Rin was desperate to keep the pearl; edited for grossness. **

The demon seemed to consider the human girl's words, and the underlying threat beneath them. The threat was that if he didn't do something to fix this problem, she would, and the results would probably be disastrous at best. All too well, he remembered the time she tried to carve it into her chest. It was a relentless struggle, ending when the knife was wrestled from her hands by Rin's weapons' instructor. She still had scars from her efforts. She had tried swallowing it twice. The first time was a misguided stroke of genius, and the second was a desperate attempt to recover her genius gone awry. It did not end well. Rin had never been that sick in her entire life, and was not able to ride Kado for two months after her body's volatile rejection of being a vessel for the pearl. And of course there had been the time she tried to burn her arm enough so that the flesh would heal around the stone. Jaken had nearly fainted at the sight. The smell had everyone around her tasting bile all day. The most recent had been trying to sew it into her belly button. Sesshomaru learned that the human body had the ability to gush copious amounts of blood without posing any threat to the mortality of that body. It was amazing to him the pains she would go through to keep that pearl on her person.

888888888

**(-------Chapter 8: Okay, let me just preface this by saying chapter 8 was physically painful to write.** The whole plot was too slippery in my mind; I nearly went crazy trying to get it into order. Here are two ways that it could have gone. Unfortunately, I was in a silly mood at the time I was writing, and the chapter content was not suited for any sort of humor. I don't know why exactly I felt it necessary to be so cruel to Housenki.)

**-----Chapter 8, Intro #1**

He was running at a break-neck speed. Sesshomaru was strangely proud of himself for his high endurance performance. Every muscle fiber of his body was being stretched to the absolute limit, before it retracted that brief second and snapped taut again.

Her taste was beginning to sour on his tongue. His jaws ached from holding her so precariously, but if he carried her in any other way the poison in his saliva would disintegrate her flesh. Carrying the broken (_She can't be dead! I won't allow it!_) body of his beloved (_Yes, and my soul aches all the more for it._) Rin, running across the wilderness in giant bounds, Sesshomaru was surprisingly calm. In his true form, his mind became clear of all distractions and remained focused on the task at hand. What had been a crisis was now a mere miscalculation. He would take her to Housenki. She would be placed on the ground, and the situation would be explained. Then the jeweler would fix her, and Sesshomaru could resume his place as guardian and protector. Rin would forgive him, and they could continue living on as they had before.

Except he didn't want things to be as they once were. Now he flooded his heart with every moment of longing he had felt in her absences, no matter how brief. He tattooed the outline of her body to his chest from the night he had held her in the garden. He broke his digits, tiny bone by tiny bone, for every sad look from her that he neglected to comfort.

He had failed her, in every way possible.

The pink clam had already come to the surface of the lake by the time Sesshomaru could see beyond the horizon. Apparently, Housenki was well aware of the Western lord's approach. _Good_, the thought, _less time wasted._

Gigantic paws dug trenches through the dirt as the dog demon skidded to a stop. Trying not to gag, he rolled Rin from off of his tongue to the ground and pulled his aura back into his common form. The clam was creaking open; quickly Sesshomaru scanned Rin for any damages she may have sustained in the journey. She actually looked better now than when she had died; rosy cheeks and pink skin replaced the smoky veil she once wore. This gave Sesshomaru great hope. _She can be fixed_, _she can be fixed,_ he chanted in his head.

Housenki peered over the edge of his house and waited for a sign from his guest. A large, malicious demonic aura had jarred the jeweler away from his current project and into a frenzy. Sesshomaru was in some strange get-up that reminded Housenki of the Inu no Taisho of his own father's day. Obviously from looking at the armor and the bloodstain on his shoulder, some fighting had been going on. Looking further down and seeing a motionless Rin, Housenki's blood nearly froze.

_This is somehow going to be my fault_, the jeweler lamented. _He's going to kill me in the slowest, messiest way possible. Why couldn't I have listened to my father about avoiding those temperamental dog demons!_

Sesshomaru shot upright and glared into the dark recesses of the clam. "Come out!" he barked. To his credit, he was repressing all homicidal urges as they arose. But then he had only been there for two minutes.

"Ah, Sesshomaru-sama! Aha-ha," Housenki tittered nervously. "My goodness, with your hair like that you look an awful lot like your father. What brings you---"

"Fix her," Sesshomaru cut off.

Housenki coughed and looked down at Rin, hoping the problem would be obvious. It was, thankfully.

"She's dead," he gasped solemnly.

"_Fix. Her._"

The jeweler gulped. "Eh-heh, ah, where is the, uh, pearl?"

"It broke," the dog demon replied ominously. _Your design was flawed, and I am holding you in partial responsibility for this._

_I knew I should have made a diamond instead_, Housenki wailed to himself.

"Well, then, if it's broken I'm afraid---" _that you're going to kill me for saying this_ "—there is really nothing that I can do. I'm just a jeweler, you see." Scratching the back of his bald head, Housenki allowed himself to better study the girl at his feet. "The poor thing," he murmured. "She worked so hard to live."

Sesshomaru's heart had in the course of his journey broken into splinters and stuck itself rather painfully on the inside of his chest. However at this moment a few of the more needle-like pieces decided to fire themselves at his brain and become lodged in the soft tissues therein. He knew this plan would never work, but he had foolishly hoped he was wrong. He'd gotten good at being wrong; why did he have to be right now?

But why did she still look so alive? Anyone could fool themselves into thinking she was merely sleeping. If he called to her, she might wake. It was a terrible tease, and Sesshomaru suspected Rin bore him more ill will than she let on, to be stringing him along in these false hopes.

"Why does she look like this?" he snarled, grabbing Housenki by the collar. His temper was getting the best of him; quickly he amended his action by tossing the jeweler aside.

Housenki sat up and tried to make himself look as small as possible. "Technically, she's not dead," he began, but was once again cut off in an enraged outburst.

"Don't lie to me!" Sesshomaru snapped, fangs bared. As a further warning he began cracking his knuckles and flexing his claws.

"She's not dead, I swear!" the jeweler cried in terror. "Her body is still alive! It's her soul that is dead!" He covered his head with his large hands and trembled. "She's dead, but she's not dead; not totally at least," he echoed between his legs.

Sesshomaru paused in his wrathful musings to consider this. By all accounts, it made good sense; it was only her soul in the pearl after all. Perhaps it was in the separation of the two that had made her appear as if she had died. Her body then remained behind intact, while her soul went…

Bending down to scoop Rin into the cradle of his arm, Sesshomaru turned and nodded to Housenki. The jeweler watched the dog demon surround himself in a ball of white light, then vanish in a blur.

Housenki allowed himself to heave a sigh of relief. "Glad to be of help," he moaned pitifully.

**------Chapter 8, Intro #2**

"Where is she?" Sesshomaru gritted through his teeth. Flecks of spittle landed on Housenki's face, burning his skin with their poison.

"I don't know what you mean!" the jeweler protested. "She's dead, I don't know---"

"Where did she go?" the dog demon rumbled scornfully. "Where did you send her?"

Housenki was desperate. Sesshomaru was on the verge of a homicidal outburst, and there was no one else there to get caught in the back draft. He just couldn't think clearly under all this pressure. The question was in regards to Rin's present location. As Rin was laying dead at their feet, Housenki assumed that the answer had to be metaphysical in nature. Sesshomaru had come here to ask about Rin; this probably meant he was also here to ask about the pearl.

"Where is her soul? Is that what you mean?" the jeweler tried uneasily.

Sesshomaru's grip on the demon's collar slackened. Though Housenki was much taller than he was, immense power and unquenchable bloodlust overshadowed any demon, regardless. Housenki took the decreased threat to his life as a signal to continue in his line of reasoning.

"She's not in Hell, if that's what you're wondering," he gulped. "I couldn't make it so she went there. And she's not in Heaven either, not by a long-shot."

Inferring that his Rin was anything less than an angel was not the wisest of things to say to Sesshomaru in this particular state of mind. His grip tightened once more.

Housenki gagged a little, and started waving his hands in a silent plea for mercy. Enough slack was given so he would be able to speak. "She can't go to either," he wheezed. "She's neither demon nor human, not with her soul the way it was. I put a gateway in the pearl, just in case she died mind you, to the border between the living and the dead worlds. That was the only place I could think to send her."

Sesshomaru slowly released Housenki from his claws and stepped back to think. There had been several occasions he had visited the border of the two worlds. The first was through the means of the black pearl in Inuyasha's eye. But after that one time, the pearl had been rendered useless. The second time had been when Naraku came by way of a giant river of blood to the shadowed realm in search of the final jewel shard. Sesshomaru had managed to strut inside through the front door, quite literally. He merely displayed the Tenseiga to the guards at the gate opening to the middle land, and they humbly let him pass. If history had taught him anything, it was that it has the capacity to repeat itself.

888888888

(**Here is the original version of the epilogue's fable**, which I had written before I had even finished chapter 3. As you can see my initial vision for how the story should go deteriorated with each continual posting. I'll always like this one for sentimental reasons, but mainly for the birthday card joke.)

_The Demon's Assassin_

_In the time of wars and chaos, demons thrived off of the dead bodies left behind in the battlefields. But there were some among them who were above mere carrion feeders—noble demons who possessed great power. They ruled over the four lands in their respective clans: the wolves to the North, the moths to the East, the snakes to the South, and the dogs to the West._

_It so happened that the demon prince of the West had in his care a human girl-child, whom he had taken into his protection when she was very small. The girl was raised as a demon, and walked among them with no fear._

"I wouldn't say I was treated as a demon. More like, not treated like a human."

"You were spoiled."

"Shh! Don't interrupt, I'm reading."

_The great dog prince was known far and wide for his cruelty and unending thirst for power. Yet as strong as he was, he had two weaknesses that could not be overcome. The first weakness was that the prince possessed only one arm, having lost the other in a battle with a demon from the underworld._

"Either they made it up or else they just got the details confused. That's the problem with these things. What are you making that face for?"

"It wasn't a 'battle.' It was a fluke. Beginners luck. And it wasn't a weakness. It was a handicap. I overcame it."

"You've never been handicapped a day in your life, stubborn ass."

"Shh! I want to hear the story."

_The second and most powerful weakness was the demon's fondness for the human girl he kept in his palace. There was nothing he would deny her, and she grew into a beautiful woman. The lord was without a wife, and many feared that he would one day claim his ward as his lady, thus weakening the lineage of the Western House. Yet very few saw her, as she was kept under heavy guard. Had they seen her, they would have not questioned her lord's affections, for she was indeed very beautiful._

"Wow, I'm like Helen of Troy."

_So much did the demon prince care for his ward, that he endowed her with a magical spell that protected her from ever becoming old or dying. By this enchantment would the mortal woman be able to live with her immortal lord for all time._

"Housenki's gonna be mad that he didn't get any credit in this."

"I'm not 'magical' by any stretch of the imagination. Who wrote this again?"

"Dunno. Some random minstrel."

_It was during that time that the demon rulers of the East and South were being hunted and killed by an invisible assassin. Desperate for help, they sought the aid of the Western lord, who offered his protection in exchange for land. After a time, the Western Lands encompassed a great deal of the world, yet there was still the threat of the murderer in their midst. The neighboring lords had their suspicions against the West, but no evidence. So a trap was planned to catch the assassin, and overthrow the Lord of the West into exile._

_A young, brave general in the East was commissioned to carry out this plot. Knowing the assassin would be next in coming to his house, he laid in wait, keeping vigil over his land. The night came when the assassin slipped through the shadows and into the bedroom of the young demon, intending to murder him as he slept. But the general had been ready, and in the bed a servant took his place. It was by this trick that he was able to capture the assassin. However, he was shocked to find that, upon revealing the murderer's identity, it was in fact the human ward of the Western prince._

"There was no shock; that rat Katsuro told him everything."

"Are you certain you want to continue with this?"

"I'm fine, don't worry."

_The general tried to execute the secret criminal, but the enchantment over the girl's life protected her from harm. Undeterred, the general then captured the girl's soul and held it for ransom, sending the girl back to the West to steal the two demon swords the lord was known to carry: a sword of unending torture and death, and a sword of healing and life. The girl set about her mission, but upon her return, fell to her knees in shame. Unable to betray her beloved guardian, she begged to her lord for rescue. The dog prince was infuriated at his secret plot being revealed, and cast out the girl in the interest of his kingdom. Betrayed and alone, the girl returned in the stealth of night and managed to steal her master's healing sword, in hopes that she could still save herself. However, the general rejected the incomplete ransom, and seduced the broken girl, taking her as his concubine to humiliate the Western lord. She was thus imprisoned, and unable to die, yet unwilling to live._

"I will beg your forgiveness for this as long as we live."

"And I will always forgive you in turn, my husband."

_The Western Lands fell under the attack of the East, and the palace was destroyed. But the dog demon army was strong, and managed to penetrate the borders of the Eastern Lands and storm the house of the general who held the human ward captive. Knowing his life was in danger, the young general bargained for his freedom in exchange for the girl. The Western lord refused, determined that the moth demon would pay for the grievances he had inflicted. The general was defeated, but at the cost of the girl's life; she died in the arms of her beloved lord, cursing her very existence until the end._

_Such grief and anguish plagued the dog prince for his actions that he swore the only way his honor could be restored was to travel to hell and beg forgiveness of the human he had so wronged._

_Journeying to the Fire Mountains, where the only gate to hell in the mortal realm existed, the demon lord battled the sentinels of the underworld in order to gain passage. Their defeat came swiftly, and the gate opened. The Western lord then entered, knowing full well that he may never return, but unable to rest until he had been forgiven for his betrayal._

"That reminds me, we need to pay them a visit before summer is over. The card they sent for my birthday was really sweet."

"I didn't see it."

"It was great; it had a bulldog on the front looking all frowny, and on the inside it said, 'Happy Birthday, you old dog,' except they had penciled over it so it said, 'Happy Birthday, and say hi to your old dog'."

"Is nothing sacred?"

_For five years, the Lord of the Western Lands did search the very depths of hell, and every crevice, until he found the woman he had lost. In earnest, he begged her to forgive him, and promised to make amends to her however he could. _

_The girl, who had been overcome with the love she felt for her lord upon seeing him again, decided to test his word. So she asked, "Wouldst thou remain for all eternity in hell by me, even if I should fail to forgive thee?" And her lord replied, "Without question." So the girl then asked, "Wouldst thou remain for all eternity on earth without me, even if I should freely forgive thee?" And her lord replied, "That would nigh be impossible."_

_Having approved of his answers, the girl warmly embraced her lord and swore her forgiveness, promising to return to earth with him, though it might mean her mortal body would one day die. _

"I didn't know I talked so purdy."

"And you did much more than 'warmly embrace' your lord."

"Watch where you're putting that hand, or I swear to god I'll cut it off again."

"Thou likest it too fondly, my lady, and scarce would not take such an action."

"You're so full of it."

_It was soon after that the young woman became fat with child, and gave birth to a half-demon son, destined to be the heir to the Western Lands. Afraid his weaknesses would again put his growing family in danger, the Lord of the West replaced his missing arm so that he would better be able to protect the lives he so valued. After the child had been safely delivered, the demon lord did then bestow the same magical spell over his wife to ensure her immortality once more. And so they lived on, reigning quietly over the land, for the lord had discovered peace in his heart and no longer desired power as a means for happiness._

_The End._

888888888

-----**Here is the lovely Botan**, guiding me with her beta-goodness. When she read my first fanfiction ("His"), she had not seen a single episode of the series, and she _still_ liked it. When I did get her watching, she had no idea why I was so fascinated with Sesshomaru. Now she has come to terms with the fact that I have a Rin-complex, and has agreed to indulge me by beta-ing my work. Though she has been forgiving due to the fact I do most of my writing at 1am, I'm just glad she wasn't my ENG111 professor because she would have tattooed punctuation rules on my arm. This is some of the stuff she put me through (and why I love her all the more—you know I had to do it). Just watch for the bold print.

**--Chapter 8, outline excerpts**

Transformed Sesshomaru arrives at Housenki's shell with Rin in his mouth to see if he can be of any help. Nope. So he goes to the fire mountain and visits the guards at the gates to the other world (look fine details up). They let him in, and he searches for Rin, finds her angry in color changing clothing, three Rins in Hell, brings other two to adult Rin to put her together, take her back, battle b/w South and East, Rin gets lost, Rin hates him when she wakes up. ---**Why does she hate him? Because she got lost? Because she can't remember what happened in the underworld? Or will it be more of a "waking up from a nightmare" moment that gives the reader a heart attack but is smoothed over in about three sentences? After all we see in hell, I really don't think you need to layer on the angst again.** ---

……….

Rin shivered, then cocked her head to the side with alertness. Turning very slowly, she met eyes with the man who she loved and hated,X with all of her being. ---**WHY? Why do you do such cruel things to commas? Your punctuation weeps to be in your servitude.---**

**--Chapter 10, rough draft excerpts**

He felt like she had caught him picking his teeth, or making rude faces, or adjusting himself. **---Adjusting himself? Was that really necessary? Are you picking on me from the first sentence?---**

……….

She did not have to be any part of Sesshomaru's empire,**X** or Sesshomaru's life if she didn't want to. But therein**---you do realize "there" works just as well? Are you nursing some sort of Thomas Hardy complex?---** was her problem.

……….

True, it wasn't the same kind of love that she had felt before; this wasn't some girlish crush, or blind admiration**---adoration, more accurately. That's the Rin complex for you---.**

……….

Every morning**,X** Rin woke up and asked herself, "Is staying really worth it?" During the day,**X **she searched for her reason. Every night,**X** she went to sleep satisfied; but there was never enough to keep her from waking up the next morning and starting the process over again**.---I think commas sprout from your head like some unholy kind of bunshin---**

……….

It was a difficult task, but he had to make her understand. Sesshomaru had to find a way to tell Rin that he was only as strong as her love for him. **---Wait a minute...is this...is it...SQUISHINESS! Why do I have this uneasy feeling that you getting sentimental is kind of like Sesshoumaru smiling?---**

……….

She was laughing and he was smiling. And it had only taken them a journey to Hell and back to be able to do this with little reservation**. ---Don't forget torture! And magic swords! And a nutty moth man!---**

……….

Immediately Sesshomaru skidded into a sharp turn just in time to look back and see Rin's body pitch sideways from her horse. She landed on her front, **rolled twice, and then stopped still---**stopped still? What kind of a phrase is that?---.

……….

"Sesshomaru!" Rin screamed, clenching her fists at her side. However she had lost enough breath in the fall that not all of it had returned**---this sentence is correct, it's just weird. I had to read it a few times to figure out what you meant---.** A coughing fit shook her chest. From her bleary eyes she could see that the demon had stopped still **---stopped still again? Really, I have my doubts about this phrase--- **and was turning around.

……….

The girl sighed and looked down into her tea. After nearly a month of plain green tea, Rin was quite tired of the drink. Today, she had infused the tea with cherry blossoms, giving it a sweet aroma and delicate flavor. **---green tea with cherry, huh? Is she drinking it while wearing her favorite Hello Kitty slippers?---**

……….

It looked as though he was watching someone get butchered, if he was**---if he were—surely anyone who studied Latin can't be intimidated by the proper use of the Subjunctive Mood, hmmm?---**

……….

_There_, she thought, _that wasn't a lie. He can smell lies, so maybe he'll believe me. He doesn't need to know that every time I'm in the garden I'll be afraid to turn my back on that tree_. _I can't imagine Jaken being too comfortable around it either_**.---this is so funny...I am never going to get tired of the bird eating tree---**

Really, this whole process of establishing a relationship was new territory to him, and he required feedback from Rin almost entirely in order to measure his success**---and feedback from Rin was his only way of gauging his success--- **. It was all so nerve-wracking, mainly because he had no idea what direction all of this was leading him into**---no idea where all this was leading him. What did I tell you about ending with prepositions?---.**

But---**don't need the "But" and it's not stellar grammar anyway---** in the back of his mind, a part of him knew where they could end **up ---Botan is banging her head against the keyboard---.**

.……….

"Sesshomaru," Rin hoarsely groaned, pulling her body open to him. The dog demon growled softly before giving in. He had no right to deny her what was,-- and always would be--,---**if you keep the dashes, lose the commas. I think it is easier to read this way---** hers any longer. They cried out together as he took her, and moaned together as their bodies eagerly pressed into each other. Sweat glazed their skin as they tangled limbs tighter and tighter**---well here's another sentence where I have no idea what you meant---.** There was no room for air between them; still they held on harder. There was no room for anything but time. **---hey, you stopped time five paragraphs ago---**

……….

**---Thank you for giving me credit for the bird eating tree! You didn't have to do that, but it certainly does make me feel loved. **

**I also wanted to you know that I worked on this chapter for almost four hours. I take my beta work quite seriously. And I am going to find a copy of _Bend Sinister_ and start mailing you one shredded page at a time if you don't do something about your punctuation.---** (note: _Bend Sinister_ is a novel by Vladamir Nabokov, a Russian author I am nuts for, but consequently I am without this particular book in my collection. Botan eats books, but her palate is more suited towards British flavors. Needless to say this is a very real threat.)

888888888

**----Goodbye! A Requiem for Shouji----**

(I love Shouji very much, and I was very sad to kill him. There was no legitimate reason for him to stick around though. I also seemed to have a problem spelling his name with any consistency—one 'i' or two? Botan and I often reminisced about our beloved moth-man; during one of our 1am conversations she casually joked about writing a requiem for him in the spirit of the Inuyasha episode, "Goodbye! A Requiem for Jakotsu." Naturally I took the idea and ran. So here is my homage to Shouji: moth demon, sadist, and absolute nut-job. I miss you.)

888888888

_He's absolutely mad._

Rin dropped her jaw in disbelief at the scene laid out before her. Shouji was contentedly sitting by a low table, which was furnished with the accoutrements needed for a proper tea ceremony. _He really wasn't joking about the tea_, she realized in bewilderment.

"Come," the demon beckoned, gesturing to a cushion just opposite of his seat. "Sit."

They had released her bonds once she had been let into the room. Rin realized very quickly though that she posed little threat despite the fact she was free. The walls were lined with heavily armored guards, and with no weapon of her own, and the pearl away from her body, she stood absolutely no chance of escape without being captured again.

"I thought we might go about this civilly," Shouji explained. "I'm told you're quite the little noblewoman when you want to be." Gracefully, the demon poured the tea into two cups and then pushed one towards Rin before he took his own between his palms.

Just as gracefully, Rin schooled her posture and glided over to her seat. Despite not wearing a flowing robe, the air around her seemed to flutter as she sank to the floor. Shouji nodded in approval.

"Help yourself," he murmured, reaching for his cup and blowing on the steam. Rin followed suit.

They sat quietly for a moment; she tried to keep her eyes trained on the table, and he tried to keep his eyes on her as much as possible. It was a game of who could get to whom, and Shouji was the one who surrendered first. He put down his cup, placed his palms on the table, and leaned towards Rin.

"It's not your birthday, is it?" he asked excitedly.

Rin choked, and had to forcefully swallow the liquid in her mouth. "What?" she wheezed.

"Now that was a silly question. I should have known better. Of course it's not." The demon grinned smugly.

"Why am I sitting here, having a damn tea ceremony with you?" Rin growled. Her hands fidgeted nervously in her lap.

The young general picked up his cup and straightened his spine. "My dear lady," he soothed, "I am intrigued as to how one such as yourself has caused as much trouble as you have. You really are a tart. Besides, no one else around here will sit with me for more than a few minutes."

At this, Rin lifted her head. Shouji was staring at her over the rim of his cup with hooded eyes, one eyebrow raised, and a sly smirk. The girl visibly blanched. The demon softened his features and finished off his tea, then held the cup in his fist as he addressed his guest once more.

"Clean cup, move down!" he barked. Without warning he grabbed both teacups and hurled them against the wall. Little pieces of shattered porcelain glittered in the air before settling onto the floor. Shouji reached underneath the table and pulled out two brand new cups, which he placed on the table and promptly filled with tea.

The demon grinned and shrugged when he caught Rin's look of shock. "I'm a fickle man," was all he had to say.

They stared at one another in shared silence for what seemed like an hour. Rage was steadily boiling inside of Rin until her face began turning purple. She could not stand the situation any longer.

"What do you want with me!" she screamed. "Why don't you come out and fight me like a man!"

Shouji scratched his chin and pondered his response. "I don't think I want to fight you like a man," he said, shaking his head. "I would rather fight you as a moth."

"You're insane!" Rin yelled. Her chest was heaving from her state of duress. "You're absolutely mad!"

"We're all a little mad around here," Shouji answered. "If you think I'm bad, you should have met my father. Wonderful man, though he had some rather dramatic quirks. He liked to hang from the ceiling."

Rin stood up and snapped her body into a fighting pose. "Shut up and fight!"

"No," the demon replied, "not until we're done with our tea."

The girl gritted her teeth as her hands swept across the table, scattering everything onto the floor. Shouji watched but did not intercede. He had a very large, very disturbing grin on his face; Rin couldn't take this behavior any longer. Darting out her hand, she caught Shouji's teacup and smashed it against the floor.

The moth demon looked as though he had been slapped across the face. His lower lip began quivering and his eyes became glassy with tears. Shouji took a dramatic sniff before bursting into wracking sobs.

"That was my favorite teacup!" he wailed.

Rin fell backwards onto the floor and stared at the creature before her. She was positively dumbfounded. Shouji seemed to pay his companion no notice as he continued to carry on.

"You're so mean!" he cried, pounding his fists on the table. "I didn't do anything to you!"

"You tried to kill me!" Rin shouted back.

"That's not true!" the demon retorted. "There's no such thing as trying to kill someone—you either do or you don't!"

Rin's jaw dropped. For the first time that evening, Shouji had made sense.

Meanwhile, Shouji continued to dramatically mourn his beloved cup. Desperately Rin turned to the guards in the room for answers as to what she should do. Several of them shrugged and shook their heads at her. Apparently they were used to ignoring behaviors such as this.

"Um, there there?" Rin weakly reassured. "It looks like it can be fixed."

Shouji wiped his nose on his sleeve. "Do you think so?" he whimpered.

The girl nodded dumbly. What else was she supposed to do?

"Okay," the demon finally nodded. He began composing his demeanor back into his original state of maddening calm before speaking once again.

"Say, you don't know any games do you?" he asked excitedly. "I know one: it's called 'Weird S & M Basement', and it's really easy to play!"

Rin shivered. "I'd rather not," she muttered.

"Oh come on!" the demon goaded. "All you have to do is surrender your will completely to me, and in return I'll break you in every way possible! See how easy that is?" He jumped up and eagerly grabbed Rin by the elbow, then proceeded to drag her along behind him.

"Let go!" Rin cried, twisting her arm and kicking her feet. "Sesshomaru_-_sama!Please save me!"

With a blast of timber and dust, the doors to the room burst open and revealed Sesshomaru on the other side. "Shouji, you bastard!" the dog demon roared. "Your opponent is me!" He drew his sword and glared menacingly.

Shouji cracked another grin riddled with madness. "Well, I suppose there was no delaying the inevitable," he sighed. "I've had a grand life. I have no regrets. Except maybe for that one time when I was promoted to captain and everyone dared me to dress in drag to the ranking ceremony. It wouldn't have been so bad if my father hadn't hit on me. And maybe that time I ate a whole bowl of wasabi and hallucinated that I was an oak tree. The squirrels wouldn't leave me alone because they thought I was nuts!"

The moth demon laughed giddily and then turned his attention to Rin. Grabbing her by both arms he dragged her to her feet and gave her a hug. "Farewell, gentle Rin!" he sang. "You played so well into my master scheme. I knew that kidnapping you would lure your sexy Sesshomaru-sama to my home."

Sesshomaru could only stand with his mouth wide open and blink.

Pushing Rin away so she stumbled and fell back to the floor, Shouji once again turned towards Sesshomaru and smiled. "Out of all the men who could have killed me," he sighed dreamily, "I'm glad it was you."

And with that, the two warriors lunged at one another knowing full well which one of them was going to walk away. A clang of metal sounded as the two swords met. A gurgling noise and the sound of liquid splattering against the floor followed. Each of the demons stopped when they had reached the other sides of the room. Sesshomaru flicked the blood off his blade and listened while Shouji coughed and then slumped onto the floor. The dog demon then turned and silently escorted Rin over to where her captor lay dead.

"Well," Rin sighed as she stood over Shouji's grinning corpse, "he was a fucking lunatic, but he knew how to make a wicked cup of tea."

888888888

---**I mentioned in the last chapter that Rin had the baby before the pearl was remade**. Well, you didn't expect Sesshomaru to take such an event lightly, now did you? Here in ficlet form is my take on what those nine months had to be like.

888888888

_Damn my irrepressible masculine urges. _

"I'm sorry," Housenki informed them, "I can't forge another pearl if Rin is pregnant."

Rin had greeted Sesshomaru with the "good news" only the day before. Immediately Sesshomaru's instincts told him Rin's life might be in peril from this. Any number of disasters could result from complications during her pregnancy.

She smelled of blood, and to make make matters worse it always seemed she was vomiting. Sesshomaru didn't know what was normal and what was dangerous.

His impatience in landing some long overdue tail had turned around to bite him.

_I'm going to go insane._

888

_I wonder if it's a boy or a girl._

"It doesn't matter," Sesshomaru told her with a huff, "just as long as you're both safe."

Rin knew he was overly concerned with her well-being. He had flown into a rage at the cook only the day before when Rin had lightly commented her soup was too hot. He followed her everywhere. If she had to walk for more than ten feet, he carried her.

Sesshomaru looked ragged and worn, and to make matters worse he would not let Rin be alone. He was obsessed.

_He's going to drive me insane._


	13. Afterword

_The Pearl_

Disclaimer: This is Botan's, which is not mine, and definitely not Takahashi's.

Afterword

"The best storytellers on earth, child, they've all stayed semi-furious defending something, expecting something—expecting something better."

--Allan Gurganus, _Oldest Living Confederate Widow Tells All_

8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8

Chapter one of "The Pearl" was read to me over the phone one long winter night when I probably should have been doing my homework. My best friend had graduated in December, leaving me more or less alone in the dorm for what I anticipated to be a long spring semester. Said friend, to her credit, was pretty conscientious about calling every night to check in, however, and this particular night she wanted some feedback on a new idea for a fanfic.

So I sat back and tried to concentrate as I let myself be drawn into a world of court intrigue and shady alliances where the threat of a shadowy assassin had placed the futures of empires in jeopardy. And at the end of the chapter the bombshell dropped: "It's good to have you home, Rin."

Rin? What?

What a time it has been. Helping to bring this story into existence has been an amazingly absorbing experience. I have listened to advance chapters, asked questions, made suggestions, ruthlessly tracked down plot-holes, prevented violence toward horses, cracked jokes that ended up being taken seriously, and deleted SCORES AND SCORES OF COMMAS. OH, THE COMMAS.

In spite of my long and celebrated association with asiancherries, this was my first time functioning as a quasi-official beta. Before I had been more of a captive audience. The first fanfiction of hers ever shoved under my nose was the death-fic "His" which I read, believe it or not, before I had seen a single episode of _Inuyasha_ or indeed even knew such a thing as _Inuyasha_ existed. I tried to wrap my mind around the mythology of dog demons and resurrected human wards and at the end of it I had my first question all ready:

"Does it really have to be this violent?"

"Yes, it does."

Of course, after I had seen my first episode of _Inuyasha_ around October of 2004, I had to agree.

I adore _Inuyasha_ in both its manga and anime forms and I am grateful asiancherries was undeterred by the legions of rolled eyes and derisive snorts hurled in her direction once she decided I needed an education in _Inuyasha: Sengoku o togi zoushi_. Who would ever have thought a cartoon could be so utterly captivating?

Of course as an English major I am a sucker for epics. To me _Inuyasha_ is alive with all of the things that we have to struggle with in our own lives. It is about self-identity, and searching, and loneliness, and loss, and forgiveness, and love. It's about coming to terms with the aching unfairness of life and daring to try again in spite of everything. We write fanfiction because we want to take the things we know and add them to the puzzle. We want to express our own dreams and heartaches in terms of demonic warfare and mystical destiny.

"The Pearl" is about two people determined to be content with their own discontent. It is about the war they are forced to fight between the things they dream for and the things they believe are possible. And yet I am not interested in denying that it is also about two college girls and the things they've done and seen and felt. There is no other way to write an epic.

If you know what you're looking for, we're pretty easy to find. Do you honestly think the fact that Rin likes the smell of cherries came out of nowhere? Or the emotional bond she has with the faithful Kado? That is asiancherries herself masquerading in _kimono_ and _geta_. And anytime, anytime in the writing of asiancherries (and there is more than one instance) you see a woman receiving unwanted attention in the form of a man grabbing her hips you are in fact witnessing a re-enactment of an unfortunate incident of my life involving a tennis instructor. Jaken's line of "You stupid fool" is a tribute to the moment when India Wilkes utters those same words in _Gone With The Wind_. Rin's hysteria, both in the sword-stealing scene and later in the underworld...well, that's probably borrowed from the both of us. And Rin's various convalescent scenes _hurt_—I see things buried in those words that exist for me alone, but exist nevertheless.

It is a great story. "The Pearl" is original, and suspenseful, and heart-warming, and tragic, and still funny as all get-out. I shrieked with laughter during Shouji's tea party, Kouga and Ayame's heated exchange, Sesshoumaru's nervous breakdown during Rin's first meal, and of course the introduction of the Toriboku. My distress manifested itself in physical pain when I saw Rin and Sesshoumaru face off over the swords, when I saw what she was reduced to by Shouji, and when Sesshoumaru finally made it to her side only to feel the pearl shatter against his own breastplate. I smiled when Jaken and Rin wondered where Sesshoumaru got his rocks, and when Housenki wondered how many moments he had left to live. I wish we knew exactly what went on between Takako and her fiancée. I wish, in spite of everything, that it could have kept going.

I've done the best I could. I've had a great time. Thank the readers for reading, thank the writer for writing. This is Botan, signing off.


End file.
